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Stargazing Pods

I find the better solution is not to drive at all. Then you can spend your whole life in a state of blissfull tipsyfication.

Getting so drunk you haven't got a clue you are at a Merlin park is a far more favorable solution.
Fixed that for you. ;)

Let's face it, if you book a Stargazing Pod then you are probably under the influence. I'm sure they look alright after several pints.
There's not enough beer on Earth to make that happen.
 
I find the better solution is not to drive at all. Then you can spend your whole life in a state of blissfull tipsyfication.


Fixed that for you. ;)


There's not enough beer on Earth to make that happen.
It would be fun trying to find out. See you in Wetherspoons. I can thoroughly recommend the Thisly Cross cider. Trust me it's gorgeous (7.3% too).

Stargazing pods through beer glasses. Nope, still looks rubbish!
 
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Not a huge cider fan, though it has it's place in summer. Scrumpy, on the other hand..... ;)
 
Personally, I am a huge fan of anything alcoholic.

Maybe after a huge whirlwind of binge drinking, to the point that I identify as a kettle, the stargazing pods may look appealing then.
Maybe if Merlin had ditched the Alton Towers Dungeons & gone for the Alton Towers Distillery instead, then the Stargazing Sheds would be seen in a better light - especially after guests had visited the Distillery.

From the Distillery's products you would not need to drink too much to get really inebriated & make the Sheds look good. Low level of liquid intake drives down demand on the "facilities block" [or the rear wall of the Sheds if it's raining].
 
I dread to think how rough Merlin brand spirits would be. Spill your drink and it'd eat through the wooden floor of the shed. It'd probably be legally classed as a hypergolic propellant.
Very true! Whilst I am not a vodka drinker, I don't think we'd be talking "Merlin Smirnoff Black" here. More like "Merlin Turpentine". Produced at lowest cost to guarantee a very bad-head for pretty much all of the next day.
 
"Why, that cocktail is an interesting shade of purple. Pray, what is it, my good Merlin barkeep?"
"Meths."

At least when it turns you blind, you wouldn't be able to see the sorry state of the park.
 
The fish pie that I had should have been labeled,

Derivatives of fish offal from multiple species in a parsley flavoured suspension.

To be fair, I'm sure they would supply one of Argentina's best whisky's.
 
Not quite meth, but we appear to have some rather suspicious looking mushrooms on our hands :tearsofjoy:

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