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2020: General Discussion

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I'll never forget when the condom machine got nicked from the carpark monorail station - they were chasing the thief round the carpark until he managed to "allude them in the bushes". They did, however, recover the machine with the cash-box intact, but "some product had been removed".
Wait... why was there a machine selling condoms in the monorail queue in the first place?
 
As much as I like to call security at parks useless i don't think it's fair to say it's a failing of the front line team but merlin management.

My time at Towers was long before Merlin came onto the scene - and security were just plain useless. From what I have seen since Merlin have been around, nothing has changed either.

If you want to see effective park security from a similar time, look up Pleasure Beach on YouTube - you would not mess about with some of the Blackpool security, who actually took action against troublemakers.

With reference to the condom machine - it was nicked from the toilets in the carpark monorail station. Even Towers would not put condoms on sale in a queueline - even though they were on sale on the Oblivion shop back in 1998 "for the second best ride of your life". (As to dodgy stuff in queuelines, look no further than the TV screens in the Black Hole queue showing German MTV!)
 
(As to dodgy stuff in queuelines, look no further than the TV screens in the Black Hole queue showing German MTV!)
How did they manage to get that transmitting in Britain? Surely they could just have gone for English MTV; it would have been the same, wouldn’t it?

On that note, I’m surprised that Alton Towers’ queue TVs don’t transmit adverts like they do at other Merlin parks; for example, I saw an advert in Detonator’s queue line telling me to prepare for the end of the Brexit transition period...
 
Alton used to have loads of tvs in queue lines for adverts. Might have been put in towards the end of a Tussards when they were desperate for money. I assume the same time TVs were added at Thorpe and Chessie. However they have all been removed at towers now. Some were left for years looking a right taste, with wires hanging out and stuff, I remember the Air ones being bad.

In the last year or two Thorpe re did all their TVs so they can advertise.
 
Surely they could just have gone for English MTV; it would have been the same, wouldn’t it?
I believe you had to pay for the English version of MTV whereas the German one you could get without paying. The downside was all the lyrics were uncensored.

The managers got wind of it a few weeks later and the screens were then turned off.
 
The screens were awful. Nothing like TV adverts to break you out of the theme park atmosphere.

It's nice being reminded of the DIC days and thinking at least Merlin isn't that bad.
 
The screens were awful. Nothing like TV adverts to break you out of the theme park atmosphere.

It's nice being reminded of the DIC days and thinking at least Merlin isn't that bad.
I did not expect to ever read those last few words, were they really that bad?
 
I believe you had to pay for the English version of MTV whereas the German one you could get without paying. The downside was all the lyrics were uncensored.

The managers got wind of it a few weeks later and the screens were then turned off.

Spot-on! You need to dial right back to the mid 1990's when these TV's were installed & satellite TV was a very different beast to what it is today. German MTV was available for free, whereas the UK version required a paid-for viewing card. It wasn't so much the language that was the issue - the Germans are somewhat more liberal than us Brits when it comes to nudity... some of the adverts were, err, interesting. (I have been in German petrol station shops paying for fuel and there have been "very adult" DVD's on sale, complete with screenshots on the cover at a childs eye-height level).

It's worth noting that these TV's were in well before DIC or Merlin even got a sniff of the park... very much a low-cost Tussauds installation - and how old habits seem to die hard, even through changes of ownership (i.e. low-cost installations).

I remember talking to a manager I used to work with (who is still there) a couple of years ago - I mentioned how things were brilliantly themed at other parks & his response was "we used to do that back in 1994" [so Nemesis]. Now it's just pick up the phone to Leek Signs for some naff signs, or let the work experience person loose on photoshop for Oktoberfest marketing.
 
Why Nemesis? Don't understand that bit random. I'd much rather be able to use fastrack on Galactica, Rita or th13teen
 
Was good while it lasted.


Was pretty much guaranteed to start becoming available again as they need the money. So that just leaves Thorpe Park who aren’t selling it but is available if you’re entitled to it.

Why Nemesis? Don't understand that bit random. I'd much rather be able to use fastrack on Galactica, Rita or th13teen

Probably for social distancing but Fastrack probably get rolled out everywhere soon anyway.
 
Great, the return of queue jumping by bribery...

I can't see many people paying £10 for Nemesis but they'll easily sell as many as they make available for Smiler & WM. It makes a small amount of sense to put FT on Smiler as currently the queue time seemingly maxes out at 60min due to the amount of space they have, maybe they just want a full queue to be 90+ minutes so people don't try to join it. With WM it could be an attempt to keep the queue within the main queue line without the need for the temporary extensions (if the full queue to the entrance is 2hrs that'll be as long as it gets).

Meanwhile, fastrack on Thirteen would clearly be a disaster as they have a maximum of 14 people per train but due to a combination of odd-numbered groups, empty rows and RAP it's probably more like 8 per train from the main queue. It wouldn't take much fastrack to bring the main queue to a complete halt.
 
Click on the "the pipeline" link in the post above... it takes you to the Towers Fastrack website page.

Now go down to the FAQ's - note how they refer to both Fastrack & Fast Pass - seems they cannot decide what the product name actually is. OR, they have been thinking they are as good as Disney (which they are not).

Towers / Merlin should be very careful using the Fast Pass term - it's a registered trademark of Disney, but only when spelt as one word. That said, Disneys' lawyers will have way deeper pockets than Merlins'.
 
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