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The I Feel Down Topic.

I feel so awful today. Even though I've finished work for the week, I just can't find the energy to be happy. My brother came home for Christmas today, first time I'd seen him in months, but I could barely find the motivation to make the effort to engage with him.

Now I'm just sitting on my own, feeling physically very irritable and ill, and I just... my leg won't stop jumping. It's a side-effect of Citalopram. Constantly. Almost twenty four hours a day. It might sound like a little thing, but it's driving me insane. I want to take a hack saw to my right leg and hurl it out the window. I feel so incredibly unhappy, but like the only way I can express it is with violence, smashing something up. I want to go outside and throw a brick through someone's window.

But instead I'll just continue to ruminate on the incredibly mean and horrible text that I'm inevitably going to send at some point. It's the only relief from the unhappiness - relishing in other people's unhappiness and upset. Why do I have to be alive? I didn't have a say in this decision, I just want to leave. I'm not enjoying this party, I want to go home.
 
Sam said:
but like the only way I can express it is with violence, smashing something up. I want to go outside and throw a brick through someone's window.
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Regardless of whether you like it, listen to some Slipknot. Very angry band, great at getting anger out.
People=S**t is a good one to start with. Perhaps getting one with lyrics and scream along with it, or lip sing it if you don't want to be loud.

It might help... Never know.
 
Re: Re: The I Feel Down Topic.

Fredward said:
Sam said:
but like the only way I can express it is with violence, smashing something up. I want to go outside and throw a brick through someone's window.
Click to expand...


Regardless of whether you like it, listen to some Slipknot. Very angry band, great at getting anger out.
People=S**t is a good one to start with. Perhaps getting one with lyrics and scream along with it, or lip sing it if you don't want to be loud.

It might help... Never know.
Click to expand...

Thanks! Not really my thing, but I kinda enjoyed the half a dozen tracks I listened to. :)

Not really changed anything, but kinda a fun distraction, will try next time I feel this unhappy. :)

Sent from my HTC One V using Tapatalk 2
 
Kaycee said:
I'm feeling slightly down tonight because I'm starting to wonder if there's something wrong with me.
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Nothing wrong with you Kaycee, you just have good standards and high expectations of who gets to sweep you off your feet. Despite how you might feel now, this is a good thing. You never know, in 2 years time you might be posting on some other Alton Towers fan forum somewhere "yeah I made this post about feeling lonely with all my friends being partnered off with people, then literally a week later is when I met [[irresistible soulmate person]]"

It'll happen when it happens, but when it happens BOY will it happen! Keep smiling my loverrrr.
 
Kaycee there is nothing wrong with you. It just that you have not found the person for you.

You will find them, and when you do. you will be have a love in your soul that the make you stronger than you have ever been.
 
Oh dear kaycee, I hate to sound clichè but the right guy is out there and you're more than likely to stumble upon him rather than actively looking for him, by looking for the soulmate you'll think he's the "one" but slowly n surely little flaws will start appearing.
Just sit back, enjoy being single and wait for him to appear in your life!!


While we're on the subject of relationships I thought I'd share a pretty heartwrenching experience I se to be having at the moment...

For the last 6/7 months, me n my workmate had become incredibly close, i also helped her with her current relationship problems. rumours started to spread around work like wildfire. We soon quashed these rumours as we decided to be best mates and not ruin what we had with a relationship! In October I went home to see my parents and we'd spend literally hours on the phone each night, 2 weeks later we both went out in town, had a few drinks, one thing led to another and we ended up in bed together....she then admitted that she actually loved me (!!!!)

We decided to keep this very quiet at work to stay professional (shes my manager). We slept together twice more and hung out all the time, went on a few dates etc, thing is I HAD to tell someone, get someone's opinion as it was eating away at me inside... I wanted to get it out in the open, I told my best mate which I thought wouldn't be a problem until I told her! She got angry and said how can I betray her like this etc etc. we're now no where near as close as we used to be, but every now and again she still tells me she loves me but does nothing about it!!

Eurgh...to top it off we were supposed to be spending Xmas day together but now that plan has fallen through n I'll be spending it literally on my own :/...
 
Re: Re: The I Feel Down Topic.

Sam said:
Fredward said:
Sam said:
but like the only way I can express it is with violence, smashing something up. I want to go outside and throw a brick through someone's window.
Click to expand...


Regardless of whether you like it, listen to some Slipknot. Very angry band, great at getting anger out.
People=S**t is a good one to start with. Perhaps getting one with lyrics and scream along with it, or lip sing it if you don't want to be loud.

It might help... Never know.
Click to expand...

Thanks! Not really my thing, but I kinda enjoyed the half a dozen tracks I listened to. :)

Not really changed anything, but kinda a fun distraction, will try next time I feel this unhappy. :)

Sent from my HTC One V using Tapatalk 2
Click to expand...

I can agree with the listening to music (the stuff I listen to when angry is usually insulting people like the Americans or just crazy.) I also listen to it VERY VERY loud either through speakers or head/earphones and it works! I suggest Rio Grande Blood by Ministry, Surfacing by Slipknot and I by Meshuggah and when the system annoys me I really suggest Exploited by Sworn Amongst and All Hope Is Gone by Slipknot.
 
I am just going to get straight to the point here;

I have just been told there is a chance I could be moving to Dubai (or around that area). May sound good to you, but for me, it is awful.
-I will have to leave my friends, one of which is my best friend, and I adore her, and my boyfriend.
-I won't be able to go to Towers. *shudders*
-I will end up in private school. (explanation below)
-I won't be able to see my dad a lot.

OK, the school thing.
My mum's boyfriend is in the army, and he is seriously thinking about coming out. He has been offered a job in Dubai/around Dubai and he does want it. He and my mum want to be together, so my mum wants to go over with him, and take myself and my little sister.
I would then be put into a private school. The kids would be English, because other members of the army's children would attend. I am settled into my current school, at Year 8, and I cannot stand moving schools; I've done it twice before, and it took my half of an academic year to gain a proper friendship with someone.

My mum asked my opinion of the whole sistuation, and I replied with a simple, "No". She then started saying things like, "Aw, do it for me Beth." and "You will have a much better lifestyle.". I feel forced to go.
My Dad is on my side, as he obviously will not see me a great deal.

Basically, I feel forced into going to live the other side of the world for someone I am not even close to.
 
If your not happy make your wishes very clear and ask for a proper discussion about it. A similar thing happened to my cousin and eventually a compromise was reached that worked. The best thing to do is write your thoughts down and have that to hand when you discus it. That way you keep calm and get your point across
 
I think you should talk to your mum about it. find some reasons that your mum will have to really have think about, e,g disrupting/damaging your schooling. etc

Maybe you could do term times in the uk and summer in dubi ?

And as Dave says write it down so if your mind goes blank you got it to hand.
 
Daves advice is great, write down what you feel and what you want to say. You can then refer back to it while talking about it so you don't forget anything.

A friend of mine visited Dubai recently, it does look an amazing pace. But I never want to visit and I would hate to live there. Too many dodgy little rules, far far too hot and too religious.
 
Its get me down when I have flashbacks and thoughts about when I was suffering from Bulimia. Such a crap part of my life.

I am happy that I received treatment and really couldn't think what I would be like now if I didn't. Being forced to go to the doctors and screaming and crying as I got marched to surgery by my bosses wife was the start of my new life.

Been over 2Years now.
 
I keep getting pushed away by my best friend ever since she got a new boyfriend. I know i'm not her only priority any more, but when it's just constant him over me - it really gets me down. :/
 
thisisruss said:
Its get me down when I have flashbacks and thoughts about when I was suffering from Bulimia. Such a crap part of my life.

I am happy that I received treatment and really couldn't think what I would be like now if I didn't. Being forced to go to the doctors and screaming and crying as I got marched to surgery by my bosses wife was the start of my new life.

Been over 2Years now.
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It sucks to have any illness like that. Especially something like bulimia which has a mental health aspect, where you're scared for years after that you might suddenly relapse at any moment. :(
 
I sure does and there are time's when you feel like you could so easy go back that and you try so hard not to. I really can not thank the EDS team enough.

If anyone on here feels like they have any type of eating disorder stay strong and get help before you let it take over, Mia & Ana will control you and they will not give in. All the lies are just not worth it.
 
Father's gone manic again, anyone with experience of bipolar disorder will know the kind of stress I'm under at present...
 
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