The I Feel Down Topic.

Alex, this time will be hard on your dad, and you. stay strong and if you feel like you need to talk do it, There are lots of people on here that wont mind a PM from you if you need/want to talk.

I think you may find it useful to have a look at the Stroke Association website. It has some really helpful information and a phone number for if you want to chat with someone that can help.

And remember to take care of yourself as you can not support your dad if you don't look after yourself

I feel dreadful today, and have done since the end of last week, despite the weekend's excitement. I think I just genuinely hate myself. Not in a kind of clichéd depressed teenager self-loathing way, I mean that I genuinely despise the person that I am. Tedious, leering, irritating, annoying, psuedo-intellectual, cruel, spiteful, jealous, promiscuous, provocative, shallow, perverted, unhappy, creepy and aggressive. I think a lot of my unhappiness comes from having to spend all my time with myself, and I am someone that I absolutely despise. Even writing this, my worst qualities of self-indulgence are shining through.

On top of that, I've realised I feel acutely lonely. I scare away any potential partners by being a complete creep, a weirdo. I've never really felt loneliness in this way before, being quite content to casually shag my way through uni. Now I suddenly have an intense longing for someone to share the loneliness of night with. I grab at the silliest, most ridiculous slice of an opportunity, despite how obviously absurd and untenable it is. Even though I know deep inside its insane, I can't seem to stop myself going for something that'll only hurt me in the long-run. Falling for someone who obviously can't provide what I need, and screwing up a friendship in the process.

Massively flopped my FSMQ maths today. Found an unofficial mark scheme online and worked out I've got around 50%, which is way below my capabilities. :/

Don't worry, I'm the same

My maths teacher told me that a C or D was a decent result (for us at least, we've only been learning it for a term) and thats probably. Just put your effort into your remaining GCSEs which are more important at this point, and you'll be fine come August.


Sent from Tapatalk, excuse any mistakes.

Crashed and burned in my As levels, reckon I won't be welcome in Sixth Form next year :'(

My posts have that many mistakes in them?! Damn this Tapatalk milarky

JordanC said:

Massively flopped my FSMQ maths today. Found an unofficial mark scheme online and worked out I've got around 50%, which is way below my capabilities. :/

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SLC said:

Don't worry, I'm the same

My maths teacher told me that a C or D was a decent result (for us at least, we've only been learning it for a term) and thats probably. Just put your effort into your remaining GCSEs which are more important at this point, and you'll be fine come August.


Sent from Tapatalk, excuse any mistakes.

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Poison Tom 96 said:

Crashed and burned in my As levels, reckon I won't be welcome in Sixth Form next year :'(

My posts have that many mistakes in them?! Damn this Tapatalk milarky

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Chill guys. I failed my first year of college finished with BDDE so I decided to resit and put off uni for a year and it's really working out well I'm sitting on A*BC now. Seriously don't worry, enjoy the summer and don't think about it talk to administrative staff at your respective colleges and your teachers to show that you're keen and still willing to put the work in. Believe me it'll go a long way!

You'll all do great and get into the universities on the courses you want to get on, as I said enjoy the summer, focus on anything you've got outstanding and prep for next year.

Feeling rough. Thank you FCC in X-Sector.

People keep telling me that overcoming depression and anxiety is a lengthy process, and even at the end it's not really cured, just managed better.

I don't have the energy to fight myself forever. It's too tiresome.

I can't remember the last time I genuinely felt peaceful, and I can't ever imagine achieving it in the future.

And the worst thing is, all this wretched self-pity about having depression makes me feel guilty since in the grand scheme of things, I'm incredibly lucky, and that inevitably feeds the self-loathing.

I'm an idiot. A selfish one at that. One who doesn't think rationally through any situation and can't control the outcome. Often a very stupid one.

You shouldn't ever feel guilty about depression.

Mental illness is like any other physical illness, it can affect anyone. It doesn't discriminate with how 'lucky' people are compared to others.

Well, dumped over facebook. Broke down in school, as I am meant to be fearless. Get taken the mickey out of then do crap in my maths test. not the end of the world but I am stressed out and feel really depressed.

alee298 said:

Well, dumped over facebook.

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If she is like that, good riddance I'd say!

alee298 said:

Broke down in school, as I am meant to be fearless.

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Everyone breaks down, you just happened to do it in public.

alee298 said:

Get taken the mickey out of then do crap in my maths test.

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Put yourself at a distance and ignore. You don't WANT to hear, so DON'T hear.

alee298 said:

not the end of the world but I am stressed out and feel really depressed.

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Chin up soldier. It can only get better

We all breakdown, it a fact of life. and if people take the mick out of you for your problems then you have got to ask what problems are they hiding.

As i have said above. take care of yourself, and after reading your last post i think you need to call the stoke association helpline.

Well the only problem with my breakdown is that I almost K.Oed someone. :O Then I got hold of myself and did some moxo. A form of meditation I learned from karate.I did that for a few mins. Then this is my first breakdown since I was about 7. The other things which I have been through which are too personal for a public forum. I have had to act grown-up and tough ever since. So about 6 years of anger and sadness, I just let off around 2% of what I have in me. This breakdown involved me shouting and as I said above someone nearly getting K.Oed. :/
EDIT!: I have also learned a valuable lesson. Don't get a GF stick to 1 love. Themeparks.

Look if you want someone to talk to, you know where my PM button is.

Just received my marks for this university year... and the marks I've got in 3 of my modules are so bad that I'm beginning to regret even bothering to go in the first place. Oh, I passed alright, but with marks averaging around the 2:2 and third brackets it's really beginning to put me off going back, especially at 9 grand a year, and with the career I want to go into being so dependent on how well I do at uni there's nothing I can do about it

And the worst part? It wasn't even my work that let me down - it was these godawful group projects that I'm forced into and being put with people that have no drive or focus in the subject means I end up worse off (I've tried to say something, but having mild AS doesn't exactly help proceedings). And it isn't going to improve next year - with me driving into uni every day from Cornwall it's going to get even more difficult to get stuff done

Sorry to vent out here, I'm not exactly an active poster :'(

We've just received a phone call saying my dad has had a stroke at work

Hope he's ok, quite a few members on here have had/got family members who have had a stroke including me so if you need to talk I'm here.

Thanks

From what I've heard it was only minor, and he's doing really well at the hospital.

It's just ended after nine of the best months of my life with my girlfriend whom I was deeply in love with. And it wasn't even either of our faults. Long story but we were basically forced apart quite spectacularly through outside interference.

Now I feel empty, betrayed, and like there's a hole in me that can never be filled. I also feel like I'll never be happy again, literally, I think of the future and I'm just like "Why bother?".

And it was horrendously sudden. Literally, on Sunday I thought she was the best thing since sliced bread and thought I wanted to spent the rest of my life with her. Now I know I'll never see her again, never hear her whisper in my ear, never hold her in my arms ever again (Had to add the cheese in there).

And to top it all I reckon I've cocked up my maths and geography exams this week because I;ve been that distraught.

I know everyone has suffered break ups and their first heartbreak and all that, but I just feel so... lost. Everything I look at, every sound I hear, everything makes me think of her. It seems like life is hopeless at the moment.

There. I've had my rant. I certainly do feel 'down' although I fear that is a dramatic understatement.