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If you were in charge of the UK’s 4 Merlin theme parks, what would you do with each one?

Matt N

TS Member
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Mako (SeaWorld Orlando)
Hi guys. Merlin currently owns 4 theme parks in the UK; Alton Towers, Thorpe Park, Chessington World of Adventures and Legoland Windsor. They are arguably the UK’s 4 most popular theme parks, but I’ve noticed that there generally seems to be a lot of disagreement with some of the decisions Merlin make at the parks (I personally think they’re doing a fantastic job on the whole, even though there are some things I’d do differently, but each to their own!), so I’d be intrigued to know; if you were in charge of the 4 UK Merlin theme parks, what would you do with each one?


I’ll get the ball rolling with what I would personally do, listing each park in turn.

Alton Towers

  • I would build a roller coaster with a heavy focus on airtime. I feel as though this is something that the park lacks at present; even though the park has numerous rides with airtime (and in some cases, such as Wicker Man, quite a lot of airtime!), I don’t really think they have a properly airtime-focused coaster, and there are many roller coaster models available on the market that could satisfy this brief. In terms of a more specific ride type, I’d probably go with an Intamin LSM Launch Coaster, as I do feel that a multi-launch would work really well at the park, as well as satisfying the brief of airtime. Either that, or some form of RMC. In terms of where it would go, I’d personally either go with the area at the top of Forbidden Valley, currently occupied by Blade, Ripsaw’s empty site, Sub-Terra, and the food outlets (which would unfortunately necessitate the removal of Blade), or I’d possibly remove the Congo River Rapids and put it on that site; it could create a really nice Klugheim-esque vibe within Katanga Canyon (what with the thrill coaster joined with the family coaster), with lots of interactions with the Runaway Mine Train!
  • Expanding upon the point about potentially removing Congo River Rapids, I would also install a new water ride of some sort. I’m not sure what kind, but I think a Mack water coaster would work quite well; I’ve heard that the newer models do have sensors that adjust the wetness depending on the temperature (correct me if I’m wrong), so that would be well suited to the British climate. You could also do some really interesting things with it; I’ve always wanted to see a full-circuit, launched water coaster, so maybe that would be a fun world’s first for Alton to try?
  • I would also install a few flat rides, as there are quite a few places you could put them, and not that many left at Alton. In terms of what kinds, I’d personally go for a combination of more thrilling flat rides, as well as things with a broader appeal; I think a frisbee/gyro swing of some form would work well, and maybe a Zamperla Disk’O, for something with slightly broader appeal?
  • Furthermore, I would convert the Alton Towers Dungeon back into a family dark ride of some sort. As much as I’m sure that the Alton Towers Dungeon is fantastic if you’re into that sort of thing (I’m not into live actor attractions at all, personally), I think that that ride system would really work well as a family ride with more universal appeal, like what it was back before the Dungeons were a thing.
  • While we’re on the topic of dark rides, I might also potentially replace Duel with a spooky-themed trackless dark ride. I’ll admit that I’ve always really liked the idea of a spooky-themed trackless dark ride, and I think Duel’s space would have a huge amount of potential for one. I can just imagine a lovely, ambient, immersive spooky dark ride working so well in Gloomy Wood!
  • Finally, I’d either relocate or remove Spinball Whizzer in order to necessitate expansion of CBeebies Land onto that area. At the moment, it just kind of sits out on its own, and there’s something quite satisfying about the thought of CBeebies nicely fitting into that entire corner of the park.
Thorpe Park

  • Firstly, I’d build Thorpe Park a B&M hyper coaster, utilising the island next to Swarm and the land around the back of the park. As with Alton Towers, the park currently lacks a true airtime machine, as well as a non-inverting thrill coaster of a substantial length; I personally feel that a B&M hyper coaster would tick both of these boxes, while also being very reliable, high throughput, and providing the park with a true icon, in the same vein as the Big One is for Blackpool Pleasure Beach. I might make it big enough to be the UK’s tallest roller coaster, topping the Big One, but I even feel that a smaller B&M hyper of around 200ft, similar to Mako, would work fantastically.
  • In terms of a coaster, I’d also replace Logger’s Leap with one, although I’d replace it with something somewhat smaller in scale; a more moderate thrill, if you like, which is again something that I feel Thorpe Park would benefit from. In terms of specifically what, I feel that a GCI wooden roller coaster would work well; it would suit the Western theme of Old Town quite nicely, while also striking a nice balance of thrill and family appeal, with a low 1.2m height restriction (I think some GCIs might even be 1.1m, actually!). I’d probably build something more similar in scale and intensity to Joris as opposed to a massive beast like Troy or Wodan, as I feel something like that would still be very popular amongst thrill seekers while also tapping into the family thrill market somewhat, which I’d argue that no current coaster at Thorpe really does. I could even make it dual-tracked, like Joris is; that would add a nice unique feature to the ride, while also doubling capacity!
  • Furthermore, I would either remove or majorly rework Derren Brown’s Ghost Train. I know that it was expensive, and is also still fairly new, but the ride doesn’t seem to have been greatly successful thus far, and is also somewhat of a weight on Thorpe’s shoulders from a technical standpoint, what with all of the VR and effects to maintain. If it were possible, I would reuse the ride system that’s already there to make something with a slightly more universal appeal, as opposed to the adult horror attraction that it is currently. I get the impression that the ride system is actually very technically impressive, with a lot of potential, so I think it could possibly make a very good family dark ride!
  • I would also make the park into more of a resort, and push the Island Like No Other branding a lot more. I must admit, I’m actually a fan of the whole Island identity with the IMAScore audio; I think it’s quite clean, fresh, and suits the park well, so I’d push it a lot more, and I think making the park into more of a resort, with a larger hotel or two and maybe some other activities, such as an indoor waterpark like Alton Towers has, or a mini golf course or high ropes course, would be a great idea. Maybe even a nice entertainment complex. I feel like something like this would really boost Thorpe Park’s universal appeal; as well as their core thrill seeker market, making themselves into more of a resort might also make them appeal to families too.
  • This one might possibly be controversial, but I’d also remove the beach and the water slides (Depth Charge/Wet Wet Wet). In terms of what I’d replace them with, I’d probably go with some form of family ride package with a beach theme, to keep up the whole beach vibe that the area has currently and fit in with the island theme of the park, as well as boosting the amount of rides the park has for families. I’m thinking a couple of family flat rides, possibly a mid-ground family coaster too; I think a spinning coaster would be a nice fit at Thorpe. Something like Storm Chaser at Paultons. And maybe some sort of water ride too; perhaps a small log flume would fit nicely, to fill the void left by Logger’s Leap?
  • I would replace Slammer with a new thrilling flat ride. However, I’d also go with something that while thrilling, has a slightly more universal appeal, and a certain customisability that would differentiate it from Thorpe’s other flat rides; I’d personally put in a Gerstlauer Sky Roller there, as that is a ride that the rider can pretty much make as thrilling or as sedate as they want, which really widens the appeal. I believe these rides also have pretty low height restrictions, correct me if I’m wrong? I could theme it to a water tower, or a totem pole or something, to fit in with Old Town. I’m not really sure.
  • Finally, I’d remove The Walking Dead: The Ride and replace it with either a dark ride of some sort or a new enclosed roller coaster. I reckon a trackless dark ride would fit nicely, or maybe an Intamin Multidimensional Coaster; something enclosed and well-themed, that appeals to the whole family, kind of like what Movie Park Germany is building for this year.
Chessington World of Adventures

  • Admittedly, I’m not as familiar with Chessington (my last visit was in 2014), but I’d personally give the park a proper entrance area, with some nice shops and maybe a nice centrepiece drawing you in. From memory, Chessington’s current entrance just sort of puts you straight in the park next to Dragon’s Fury, so I think it would be nice to give the guest a real welcome experience.
  • In terms of rides, my first priority would be to put some sort of new roller coaster in. I think a family launch coaster of some form would work nicely; maybe something like Juvelen from Intamin, or maybe a Gerstlauer creation like FireChaser Express? The intention with this would be to make it Chessington’s new flagship coaster, something for all the family, and really heavily-themed. In terms of where it would go, I’d probably put it on the big lawn by Land of the Dragons.
  • This one might be a little controversial, but with this new headline coaster being installed, I would personally remove Vampire. I’ll admit that I’m not personally a huge fan of it, it’s getting quite old, and it annoys the neighbours near the park due to its location and the noise it generates. In terms of what I’d replace it with; taking into account the noise issues, I’d go with some sort of enclosed roller coaster. In terms of what type, I’d personally go with something that offers potential for a really immersive experience coaster, with some cool tricks on offer. I reckon a Mack Inverted Powered Coaster could work nicely, as it would provide an immersive experience, would also keep the suspended seating position of Vampire, and also offer quite a unique twist on the ride type. Maybe theme it to a tour of a vampire’s castle or something?
  • I’d also put in a new water ride somewhere within the park; in terms of proper water rides, they only currently have Tiger Rock (some might count Gruffalo too, but I’d call that more of a dark ride than a proper water ride). I reckon a rapids ride might work nicely, personally; I’d maybe put it on that big plot of land behind Wild Asia, and give it some nice Asian theming. I’d make sure to offer a nice element of chance, as a lot of my favourite rapids rides have, with plenty of different effects and waves, and I’d probably put a drop in there too, similar to what Infinity Falls at SeaWorld Orlando has.
  • While we’re in Wild Asia, I’d personally remove the indoor play area (I’ve forgotten what it’s called; isn’t it something like Temple of Mayhem?) and replace it with a dark ride, more specifically a Vekoma Madhouse. I think a Madhouse themed around a booby-trapped temple or something would work nicely, maybe with a nice pre-show or two to set the scene a bit a la Hex.
Legoland Windsor

  • As with Chessington, I’ll preface this by saying I’m not too familiar with Legoland; my only recent visit was on a very busy day in 2017, and I didn’t get to see too much of the park.
  • One thing I remember from my last visit to Legoland was that the paths were all very cramped, making it difficult to move around, and it made me quite anxious. Admittedly, it might not have helped that it was a busy day in the summer, so I might not be being entirely fair in that regard, but my point still stands. What I’m leading onto is that something I would firstly do is invest a bit into the infrastructure at the park, mainly widening the paths and making it a little easier to move around the park. This would be in order to help it cope a little more easily with those busier days.
  • The next thing I would do at Legoland Windsor is invest into a middle-ground family coaster of some sort, at a level of intensity above anything that they currently have. One thing I’ve always noticed about Legoland Windsor is that compared with the other Legoland parks, they seem to have a somewhat more kiddified roller coaster selection. While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, I feel as though the addition of a more thrilling family coaster would widen the park’s appeal. If you look at some of the other Legoland parks, most of them have at least one larger family coaster. For example, Legoland Billund has Polar X-plorer, a lot of them have fairly substantial wild mouse coasters, some of the newer Dragon coasters are actually pretty large in comparison to Windsor’s. In terms of what I’d go for, I’d personally go for something along the same sort of lines as Polar X-plorer, as I think that something like that could go down very well at Legoland and be quite different to any of their other rides.
  • I know this might seem oddly specific, but I’d also put in a clone of the new Lego Factory Adventure trackless dark ride being built at Legoland New York. I think it looks really cool, and I think the whole idea of having a tour of a Lego factory suits a park themed to Lego really well! In terms of where I’d put it, I’d probably try and put it near Miniland and all the other “building” type areas, so as to link all of those attractions together and create a whole “Lego building” type area of the park.
So, that’s what I’d personally do with the 4 UK Merlin parks if I were in charge! Do you like my ideas?


I encourage you to put on your own theme park management hats, and think of some things you’d really like to do at each UK Merlin park. So, what would you personally do if you were in charge?
 
Blow up Thorpe
Put CWOA out of it's misery
Lego can keep going
Fix Towers up
So you’re essentially saying that 4 Merlin parks would become 2 if you were in charge?

Fair enough; I guess the saying “less is more” comes to mind!
 
Alton Towers
I would not build a secret weapon for a while as there are already plenty of coasters.
Theme up the flat rides Alton Towers are getting this year to match the areas.
Put a proper show on in the theatre, whatever popular musical they can get the rights to, (personally I think SIX would fit at Alton Towers).
Retheme the dungeons boat ride into a more family friendly boat ride themed to the park's history featuring cameos from the Earls of Shrewsbury, John Broome and John Wardley (the latter two may be able to lend their voices to such a ride), as well as working models of the big coasters.
Close the park on some term-time week days but open the park longer on Weekends and Holidays, perhaps have a Friday night opening 4-10 to attract School Children.

Thorpe Park
Get an RMC (no surprises there)
Revert TWD back to X (2013-2017)
Remove the VR from DBGT and instead tell a story through more reliable effects (I am thinking along the lines of the Sweeney Todd scene from the London Dungeons)

Chessington
A launched coaster running through trenches so it feels faster whilst also acting as a noise barrier
Operate rides on full capacity (especially looking at Vampire, Tomb Blaster and Zufari).

Legoland
Keep updating with whatever new product lines come out,
Get a Motorbike Coaster, theme it to Lego Technic or something.
I'm not sure there is much to add here as the park has had a lot of investment recently.

Edit: @Poisson are you sure you haven't turned into @DiogoJ42?
 
Towers: I'd take Rita apart piece by piece and sell it as scrap metal. I don't even want thing to get a second chance at another park. Burn it with fire. (Actually serious)

Thorpe: Re-theme the Swarm into Love Island the ride because it's more befitting of the truly awful place that it is and people it attracts.

Legoland: I'd definitely install lots of low capacity abominations.....oh wait they already do that. In that case I'd make you pay an upcharge fee once you have already entered the park If the day ends in a 'Y'.

Chessington: Id let the animals roam free and have a survival of the fittest theme.
 
Interesting thread.

Overall I think Merlin do an alright job with how each park is marketed and positioned, but there’s certainly a few things I would do.

To start with at Alton towers I would have a bit focus on flat and filler rides, that would be my priority before the next coaster, and rides which are aimed for adults as well as children, and some thrilling flat rides as well. I think with the flat rides the park would have a good mixture of rides for the very young in the form of CBeebies, right up to coasters during thrill rides for adults. I would also sort out the gap from CBeebies to adult rides, and add more to David Walliams, rip the dungeons out and add a 4D.

Legoland is probably the park they are doing best at, it gets a good selection of regular new rides and has a good mixture of indoor and outdoor rides. Next priority for me there would be a new high capacity coaster, wind something a bit more thrilling. I’ll also do something with the god awful rapids, and sort the monster party building out . I would also retheme the imagination area, so it’s a little dull and empty now, but you can keep the 4D in there, just add some more rides and things to do. I would also get a new ride or walkthrough in the old Star Wars building, as that seems like a waste of space currently. Finally I would give the entrance area a bit of a make over as it’s a little drab and out of date now with he old pay booths which are no longer in use. Other than that I think Legoland seem to be doing fine and certainly gets the visitors in.

Now on to chessington, where do you start I would actually invest in a good selection of new rides, rather than just retheming everything (I would keep up with the rethemes as well on the rides which still need bringing up to scratch), as the one thing Chessie needs is more capacity, so I would get a new high capacity roller coaster and if possible a rapids ride. I would keep up with the ride and zoo format and keep adding rides which feature the animals if possible, to add a bit more to the area.
I would also try and sort the awful car parks and park entrance out, as they are certainly not great welcomes for a premium theme park.

And finally on to Thorpe, which is probably the hardest of them all. It’s got major coasters and major flat rides, but it just still fails. I would do something major to DBGT, eg rip it out and out something better there, or completely change it. I would also add some more family rides around the park. But top priority would be the Canada creek area, I would get a new water ride in there and completely re theme the whole area. A new coaster would also be high up on the list for the park and would go in that area. I would also have along hard think about what’s on park and how it all links together, eg walking dead and storm surge would be first to go. With those gone and the beach area, that gives you a large area to play with and make a nice welcome to the park. Maybe some kind of entertainment and bar area where the beach is, which can also be utilised at night for hotel guests and for events eg fright nights and in the summer.
I would then add more to the Swarm area and link that to the rest of the park, so it’s not just sat on its own.
 
This is a radical idea but with the current move away from annual passes this could be the perfect time for Chessington to shine. It's a small park that already hits capacity far too often, so why not go up market and make it a real premium park.

Initially focus on making the current upcharge animal experiences a core part of visiting Chessington. It's a similar model Disneyland is using to increase guest spend, but given how low Chessington's capacity is they should aim to make the addition experiences something people are going for and happy to pay extra.
Once the park is established as being different to a standard theme park the ride line-up can shift to focus on Dark Rides and Experiences. Chessington becomes the park you visit infrequently but for novel experiences you just don't get elsewhere.
 
Thorpe
Use the DBGT building to put a proper dark ride in, along the Spiderman line.
Replace Loggers Leap with a new Loggers Leap, exactly the same as the old one, just new.
Put in a new non-inverting coaster.
Re-think the beach and Depth Charge area.
Revert The Walking Dead back to X, or gut it and put a new indoor coaster in.
Check all theming and tidy back up to as-new levels.

Alton Towers
Fewer issues overall, but restore Duel back to as good as it was in the 90s, the guns can stay though.
Also tidy up the rapids (sort out the tunnel) and Air (sort out the tunnel).
Remove Dungeons and put in a new proper "Disney-style" family boat ride.
New live show somewhere.
New 4D show somewhere.
Bring back Henry Hound and some kind of daily live event to give a bit of life, even just the "goodbye" party on TowersStreet again.
Replace Ripsaw, Submission and the old Ug Swinger site with new flat rides.
Offer daily historical guided tours of the ruins and gardens to give something to do that isn't rides.
Its mainly about making sure there is enough to do for the older than CBeebies but not 1.4m group as well as rides for everyone from 6-66 (like the boat ride).
Also review opening hours, have 7pm Friday & Saturday in summer. Maybe longer for Wickerman, Nemesis & Galactica to tie back to the rollercoaster restaurant.
Also think about how better to do ERT, could hotel guests get some extra evening time like Phantasialand, or a fasttrack.

I'll come back to the others.
 
I’ve thought of something else I would do at Alton Towers if I were in charge, and I apologise in advance, as I feel like it could be somewhat controversial:

  • If I was in charge, I would overhaul both Nemesis and Oblivion. The type of overhaul I’d go for in both cases is one that maintains the basic feel that the rides have now, while also bringing them into the 21st century a little, and enhancing them a bit. This would mean different things in each case.
  • In terms of what I’d do with Nemesis, I’d personally give it a complete like-for-like retrack, similar to what happened on the Hulk at Islands of Adventure, in order to ensure its long-term future at Alton Towers. However, I’d also go a step further, and I’d also reprofile sections of it. While I wouldn’t call Nemesis a rough coaster per se, it’s certainly not the smoothest of coasters, in my opinion, and there are some sections where I personally feel as though the ride is showing its age a little; particular sections that come to mind include the zero-g roll and the second corkscrew, possibly the first corkscrew at times too. I’d also make a few thematic enhancements as well; I’d add a few more little details around the queue and area to make the ride’s story a little clearer, and I’d also revamp the station interior so that it feels like you’re well and truly inside the monster; I’m thinking some nice ambient lighting, smell pods, mist effects and a similar aesthetic to the station exterior would really add to that feeling of being inside the monster. Furthermore, while I’d keep the area and queue soundtrack the same, I’d also add some audio to the ride itself in some form, either through a dramatic onboard soundtrack or maybe even just with some suspense music up the lift hill like on Mako at SeaWorld Orlando, for example.
  • In terms of Oblivion, my plan would be a little different. I wouldn’t actually change anything about the physical track of Oblivion; given the circumstances that Alton Towers finds itself in, I think that the existing track layout works great, personally, and still rides very smoothly given its age, too. My Oblivion overhaul is almost entirely aesthetical and thematic, apart from some changes to the ride vehicles which I’ll get onto in a bit. While I’d keep the general vibe and theme of Oblivion the same, as I think it works really well, I would majorly modernise it, and perhaps make it a little more themed and immersive as opposed to just styled like it is now. I do feel that due to the technological/modern theming style Oblivion had when it opened, it kind of feels a little dated these days, and I’d argue that it kind of lost its presence within X-Sector once The Smiler opened. In terms of what route I’d go down in terms of changing Oblivion’s style; ironically, I’d actually look towards Oblivion The Black Hole at Gardaland in terms of the type of style I’d like to change Oblivion to. Obviously I wouldn’t want it to be a complete clone of O:TBH, and I would keep some of the elements that make Oblivion unique (e.g. Don’t Look Down, the suspenseful buildup with the Lord of Darkness videos), but I’d go for a similar sort of vibe, with a similarly modern and sleek theme, a bit more of a story, lots more little details and theming around the area, and a similar dramatic soundtrack to what O:TBH has to replace the dance track that Oblivion has now. I’d also put some suspenseful audio on the lift hill; maybe something subtle like a heartbeat sound as you’re climbing up and turning around to the drop, to really home in on that fear element of it. The final changes I would make to Oblivion are related to the cars; I would personally go down a similar route to the likes of SheiKra and make them floorless, in order to make the rider feel a little more exposed without the front on the cars. This might be a little controversial, but I’d also introduce a new, separate experience to Oblivion; Oblivion backwards, with the slogan “Don’t Look Back”, as opposed to “Don’t Look Down” for the forwards ride experience. This would involve flipping the back row of the cars around to face backwards instead of forwards, and I personally think it would really be rather novel and fun for a dive coaster; even though you wouldn’t be able to see the drop, I reckon the element of surprise, and not knowing when you’re going to drop, would add its own kind of fear to the experience.
Do you like my ideas, or do you hope I never get my hands on Alton Towers, so that these ideas can never come to fruition? I appreciate some might be a little controversial, so I’d be really intrigued to know your thoughts!
 
You mention Oblivion audio, there used to be a "don't look down" announcement at the top of the drop but that was removed due to the noise abatement order. If they can add audio without annoying local residents then I think a heartbeat would work to add to the anxiety. On the subject of the queue videos, I think they should revert the changes they made in 2015 (they basically removed any joke about the ride being unsafe)
 
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Big fan of the backwards oblivion idea! I think it's a great way of refreshing the ride without actually changing something so classic.
 
I don't find Nemesis the slightest bit rough even today. It still feels silky smooth to me. Don't know if it's because of my size and where the restraints hit on People of different sizes though.

Shawn of TPW did a Nemesis Marathon few years back didn't he? Something like 50 odd rides in a single day.

Matt you must have a very low threshold for roughness if you think Nemmy is rough. Of all the major coasters in the UK I find it to be one of the smoothest still
 
Matt you must have a very low threshold for roughness if you think Nemmy is rough. Of all the major coasters in the UK I find it to be one of the smoothest still
As I said, I wouldn’t call Nemesis a rough coaster, on the whole. The track itself is still very smooth, as is mostly the case with B&Ms. I was more referring to one or two of the transitions; I often find that the zero-g roll and the second corkscrew are a little bit jolty, and make me bang my head, meaning I can sometimes come off Nemesis with slightly sore ears. Occasionally, the first corkscrew can do this as well for me. Don’t get me wrong, I still really like Nemesis, but I’d enjoy it even more if it didn’t have those headbanging moments; they do take away from it slightly for me at the moment.

The fact that I’m not especially tall (5’9.5”) might not help, as my ears are probably in better contact with the restraints than they would be in the case of someone who was taller.
 
As I said, I wouldn’t call Nemesis a rough coaster, on the whole. The track itself is still very smooth, as is mostly the case with B&Ms. I was more referring to one or two of the transitions; I often find that the zero-g roll and the second corkscrew are a little bit jolty, and make me bang my head, meaning I can sometimes come off Nemesis with slightly sore ears. Occasionally, the first corkscrew can do this as well for me. Don’t get me wrong, I still really like Nemesis, but I’d enjoy it even more if it didn’t have those headbanging moments; they do take away from it slightly for me at the moment.

The fact that I’m not especially tall (5’9.5”) might not help, as my ears are probably in better contact with the restraints than they would be in the case of someone who was taller.

Yeah that's what I meant about height. I'm 6ft 5 so have no issues with the restraints.
 
Yeah that's what I meant about height. I'm 6ft 5 so have no issues with the restraints.
At 6’6”, my dad is similar; I don’t think he’s ever had headbanging on a ride before, as far as I can tell!

On the topic of this thread, I’ve thought of more things that I might do if I were in charge of the Merlin parks:
Alton Towers
  • I would think about giving Rita a bit of an overhaul as well as Nemesis and Oblivion. In terms of what I’d do; I’d personally give the ride a bit more of a theme and make it a bit more immersive, doing things such as adding some theming into the queue and giving the ride a properly ambient themed station, even a possible pre-launch scene with some effects, and an enclosed brake run in a similar style to Wicker Man. I’d also completely change the name and theme to move away from the race car theme entirely, as while Rita’s theme is a nice concept that I quite like and think is quite original, I’m not sure if it’s the most sympathetic to Dark Forest’s aesthetic in its current guise. Going along with this, I’d also repaint Rita to a more subdued tone that’s more in keeping with Dark Forest’s theme and change the trains, adding Taron-style lap bars or at very least softer OTSRs similar to Maverick’s and I305’s to the ride.
Thorpe Park
  • At Thorpe Park, I’d personally do something similar to Colossus to what I’d do with Nemesis at Alton Towers in that I’d give the ride a complete retrack, although in the case of Colossus, I’d also try and chuck in some slightly more accommodating ride vehicles in on the side, with some nice lap bars more akin to what the newer 10 inversion rides have. I would also alter the layout slightly to be more akin to the newer Rev. B models of the 10 inversion coaster, as I think that the first drop looks really cool on the newer model. I feel that this would preserve the longevity of Colossus as an icon of Thorpe Park, while also addressing the common elephants in the room that are the ride’s smoothness and its trains. This Colossus overhaul would mostly be track and train, as I actually can’t think of much I’d personally change about Colossus aesthetically; I’m a huge fan of the lavish theming and landscaping, and the general vibe of Lost City. If I was to do anything with Colossus thematically, I’d maybe add onboard sound onto the trains, and possibly some effects around the ride; I reckon some nice water splash effects might work, or maybe even some fire?
  • I might also possibly think about making some small tweaks to Saw: The Ride. While I think it has a great layout and fantastic theming, it’s currently too rough for my personal liking, so I would do something similar to what Dollywood did with Mystery Mine this off-season and retrack/reprofile some of the joltier sections of the ride; in particular, I’m thinking the first drop/Immelmann and the entirety of the post-MCBR section. I might also chuck in some new cars with lap bars while I’m at it, similar to what some of the newer Euro-Fighters such as Tantrum and Hydrus have; I think some of that fantastic airtime Saw has could feel even stronger with a nice lap bar restraint!
 
You mention Oblivion audio, there used to be a "don't look down" announcement at the top of the drop but that was removed due to the noise abatement order. If they can add audio without annoying local residents then I think a heartbeat would work to add to the anxiety. On the subject of the queue videos, I think they should revert the changes they made in 2015 (they basically removed any joke about the ride being unsafe)

Onboard audio in the ride seat would be the best way to do this. Imagine the guy from the queue video talking in your ear as you go up the lift hill, suggesting you don't know whats coming and playing the devil. Then a simple heartbeat as you round the corner, then silence and a whispered don't look down, just before you drop.
 
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