The I Feel Down Topic.

Adam

TS Member
Favourite Ride
The Smiler
Like the "I Feel Happy" topic, thought I'd bring it onto TST.

Moderator Note:

Whilst this thread is here to get things off your chest or to seek some wise words of encouragement and maybe some advice, sometimes people need a little more support than some wise words, particularly if you feel that you are having thoughts of harm or suicide.

We would strongly encourage you to speak to a support group who you can remain anonymous to and are trained to help with the most difficult or even trivial of life moments, thoughts of harm or suicide, and emotional stress and trauma.

Charities such as The Samaritans are often referred to in life and dismissed by many, but really are an amazing support channel who can help you through lifes bumps, no matter how big or small.

If you feel someone needs further support in the thread, please flag the post to the team who can advise the poster on better support channels.

Of course, for all of the other bumps in the road, you'll find many people in this topic with open ears and some wise words to help.

Thank you.
 

EuroSatch

TS Member
The I feel down topic

Well, it wouldn't be right to have the "happy" topic without having sadness to restore balance.

I've recently hit quite a low. I graduated in 2006, and since then I have bounced my way between jobs without really having a y idea of what I want to do. I started in retail, as I moved from a part time job to full time. Then I found a job through an environmental recruitment agency that fell flat on its face and I quit after three weeks - they hadn't a clue what my job was meant to be, and I quit after something to do with a petrol station in Essex. Don't ask.

Following that, I tired me hand at teaching. I graduated in geology, and converted to physics so that I could teach secondary science. I held, and still do, a massive passion for physics and science, and was excited to be able to part this knowledge onto young scientists. I had a small breakdown during the PGCE and ended up quitting to maintain my sanity. Following this I worked at Towers for a season.

I thought I hit my lucky break in the career world when I left Towers to work for a well known bank. I moved in with Simon after a 2 year relationship, and moved back to live close to my friends from uni in 2009. However the job wasn't all that amazing, as I worked in a call centre collecting debt. After 18 months, the minimum time in a role, I moved into my current job as a Risk Assessor. I thought this would be the start of my career, and I had a good run in, gaining praise from my managers, working up my personal authority ladder, and stretching myself a little but.

However, I never felt I fitted in. My colleagues, who at first were friendly, ostracised me when I wasn't interested in talking about motorbikes, football, babies and how much they are bringing home to their wives. No one asked about my personal life outside of work, many people from other departments didn't speak to me or show an interest in who I was. The environment gradually grew more and more tense, with me witnessing homophobic remarks and other derogatory comments. The more I got to know the people, the more I realised who right wing everybody was, and how they were only interested in making money. At the same time, I received very little feedback from managers and generally kept myself to myself.

Today I had my mid-year review. On top of being given an awful decision sample and being told how disappointing it was that I hadn't improved and was getting 'unacceptable' marks on it - despite the fact that the feedback was in direct contradiction to my previous samples, and I had worked on it to make sure I addressed these issues, and despite me bringing up the fact that I made decisions with conflicting advise, and also despite the fact that this is 15 decisions out of 800 a month and are targeted to find the errors and not focus on the remaining 785 decisions that were good. I was also told that my manager, who had given my no feedback, had been getting aggregated that I was continually missing something out of reviews, and told my immediate manager to "address" this, where I was given no opportunity to address at the beginning and take measures to make sure I do include this... On top of all this I was told that I am being scored down for the mid-year results because I am quiet.

By quiet, they mean that I haven't made the effort to go out to other departments and make myself known. These same departments are the ones where when I started, they didn't come and say hello and ask my name. Half of them still don't know my name. The same departments who have made homophobic comments across the office.

Those of you who know me will know I am naturally quiet, and naturally shy. But contrary to what my manager believes, I am happy to build friendships and relationships with people once I get to know them. I do speak to a lot of people in the office, and initiate or continue small talk. But ever since I have been in the department, everyone who has come to ask questions has always had their favourite person to go to. My desk is positioned so that I can't see people coming down my row, and there have been occasions where people have started down my row, noticed that their favourite person isn't there, and have decided to go to the other side of the bank of desks. Apparently that has been noted as me not being approachable.

I would also stress that the atmosphere that I had to work in with my colleagues did make me retreat within myself, as a naturally shy person would, because I didn't feel that I could be myself, and I didn't feel welcome.

This is on top of many other pressures I have been facing, that some people may know about, but I'm not going to divulge here, and a general sense of not fitting in. The last two days I have felt under immense stress and unwell. I just burst into tears in the car for 20 minutes.
 

Simon

TS Member
And to top it all, some miserable hanger-on continues to live in your spare room and just won't get the hint?

Aww mister *hugs*. At least you weren't on your own for the crying bit, that'd be worse. Love you.
 

Sam

TS Member
Just said goodbye to my boyfriend for the summer as he's going back home tomorrow. Will barely get to see him for the next few months, and not for a few weeks from now. :(
 

Alastair

TS Team
Favourite Ride
Indiana Jones Adventure
Irish Chris said:
Ireland getting stuffed 4-0 by Spain! :'(

Unlucky mate! Truly outclassed though, hopefully you can grind out a result against Italy. The Irish fans were immense though, think there was probably more there than England fans at the France game ;D
 

adsyrah

TS Member
Sam said:
Just said goodbye to my boyfriend for the summer as he's going back home tomorrow. Will barely get to see him for the next few months, and not for a few weeks from now. :(

*hug*

I live in Manchester, my bf in Birmingham. I'm about to move up to Newcastle.

Long distance sucks :(
 

Sam

TS Member
adsyrah said:
Sam said:
Just said goodbye to my boyfriend for the summer as he's going back home tomorrow. Will barely get to see him for the next few months, and not for a few weeks from now. :(

*hug*

I live in Manchester, my bf in Birmingham. I'm about to move up to Newcastle.

Long distance sucks :(

Fortunately for me it'll be just during holidays. And it's an open relationship, so I'm not exactly sexually house-bound. :p

I miss him already though. Newcastle to Birmingham is a long way, do you drive or get the train?
 

adsyrah

TS Member
Sam said:
Fortunately for me it'll be just during holidays. And it's an open relationship, so I'm not exactly sexually house-bound. :p

I miss him already though. Newcastle to Birmingham is a long way, do you drive or get the train?

At the moment I get the megabus from Manc to Brum. When I move to Newcastle it'll be the train.

It's not too bad, 2-2.5 hours each way is easily doable. Just not a perfect situation!
 

Stelios

TS Member
Favourite Ride
Nemesis
I've "severely" bumped my head at school from a noticeboard resting against the wall was being played with by swinging it up and down. I was unaware of this for the few seconds or so that they were doing this so I was just sat there casually eating cereal when bam. The noticeboard whacks me in the face, I've been "extremely lucky" not to of had brain damage. But my head is aching badly I have a headsplitting headache am feeling queasy and sickly as well as cuts and bruises.

Feeling rather low but lucky that I didn't bang it on the side of my head where I have less receptors.
 

Panda

TS Member
Favourite Ride
Monster, Walygator Parc
Not feeling down as such, just rather annoyed and I feel like I'm taking it out on people who really don't deserve it (Such as several TSTers and this topic).

I have issues at home, which consequently often leaves me in a bad mood for school. Seems only a small handful are interested in making sure I'm feeling fine, yet none of these I'd consider as my 'closer' friends. Even as I type this I'm isolated from the group, which only ever happens when I'm not happy.

Makes me reconsider again if there's really any place for me anywhere.
 

Joseph

TS Member
Favourite Ride
Nemesis
Georgiaa said:
Makes me reconsider again if there's really any place for me anywhere.
I feel like this right now so here we go this is why i'm down.

So my "Best freind" (Who I took to Alton Towers for his birthday) has decided not to invite me to his birthday party. He has invited 4 people 1 from another school a year ten he's freinds with and the two other people I used to hang-around with who hate me. Oh and I have over ten exams starting next Friday and ending next Thursday (and on that day I have 4). Lifes a pile of poo
 

Stelios

TS Member
Favourite Ride
Nemesis
Joseph said:
Georgiaa said:
Makes me reconsider again if there's really any place for me anywhere.
I feel like this right now so here we go this is why i'm down.

So my "Best freind" (Who I took to Alton Towers for his birthday) has decided not to invite me to his birthday party. He has invited 4 people 1 from another school a year ten he's freinds with and the two other people I used to hang-around with who hate me. Oh and I have over ten exams starting next Friday and ending next Thursday (and on that day I have 4). Lifes a pile of poo

It is, I hope your situation improves. But did you also know that we had 101 Other Words to describe life in the TTF Tavern. I'd highly reccommend going to the Tavern to relieve stress.

Oh and Georgiaa, you certainly and always will fit in here so we're here for you when your feeling low. I'm sure it will improve and you can start anew in Year 10. I give my deepest sympathies and best of luck. You'll make friends (again) in no time as your epic personality shows!
 

Vicki

TS Member
I'm about to graduate, in a subject where it's going to be very hard for me to work (film/tv production) because I can't drive.

Not through choice mind, my eyesight isn't good enough. I can operate a camera no problem, but I just can't drive, and it seems that even in London, all entry level jobs, even in post production, want you to be able to drive :(

I'm really into photography, and I'm good at that too, but again, same issue.

I've got a freelance editing job starting in September, running til May, for around 5-8 hours work a week (from home) but that's only £50 a week, for 25 weeks, so after that, and during, I need another plan.

I dunno, I just feel disheartened by the whole media industry thing, and don't know what other jobs I'd be good at, and enjoy.
 
Top