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TST's Amateur Poetry Topic

Meat Pie

TS Member
So... I think the topic title pretty much explains itself. I sometimes write some amateur (the polite word for bad ;)) poetry and wondered if anyone else here also partakes? I would love to see what our community has got to offer! Don't be embarrassed to share your efforts as this topic welcomes all poems of any quality, as long as they are your own creation. :)

To start us off, here is one I wrote quite recently:

Bear Traps

The bullet proof glass hangs delicately by night,
Where I can indulge in the romance of weeping.
Sits in the pits of every daylight conversation,
That’ll keep it in medical isolation.
The rope snaps in the sting of post-modern self review.
Artefacts remain, always tomorrow’s foundation.

Misappropriated information spelt out by the self-help shaman.
“Just lighten up bud. Be more positive. Go get ‘em, go get ‘em.”
A smile that shatters every bone.
Time to begrudge the lobotomised masses.
I’ll wander between bear traps.
 
I don't have time to comment on that now, Meat Pie, and I really am sorry. If I forget give me a nudge at some point and I'll take the time to properly study it as it seems very raw and personal as I enjoy reading and learning from others almost as much as creating my own. :)

I really enjoy writing poetry when I feel down, but unfortunately I lost a lot of my work in unfortunate circumstances. Nonetheless, I've been writing recently but can only share the start of what is more 'prose' than poetry. I am kind of hoping to discover if anyone feels it is worth continuing as this bit is mainly 'setting the scene' for a more interesting development. I know it's not very emotionally driven at the present moment. ???

Here's the opening, inspired by the wonderful country Australia, anyway. :)

"A sweeping landscape, as russet and bitter as the blazing Sun that scorches it, basks in the glow of the radiant dawn. The acacia trees flourish amid the barren terrain, beneath a single, wispy cloud that meanders across the broad, azure skies. Auburn mountains sit poised upon the distant horizon, indistinct in the haze of the overbearing heat, their jagged edges piercing into the sapphire blue above.
Nestling in a bed of sprawling wheatgrass lays the native, his ebony skin glistening in the oppressing humidity; his eyes gazing upon the henna-stained expanse before him. Beyond a patch of lush vegetation, he could distinguish a series of sloping tents pitched against a crumbling ridge in the rusty soil. The White Man. "
 
Sorry to dig this one back up but I have some stuff I'd really love some feedback on, if anyone fancies a read. :)




Jester

Lumbering jester, he shuffles towards us,
crimson face writhing at the ground, flaccid arms swaying.
Snigger for the fool, with his stained wrist;
didn’t he know not to wear his heart upon his sleeve?

Her gentle, cool hand clasped in my own,
it tautens as he lurches nearer.
Beneath that silken, perfumed skin, just for one moment,
I feel the dagger that pierced the joker’s heart.

That wretched, scarlet face raises desperately towards me,
his sunken eyes search my own, plead for anything.
Sneers subside; I search for a consolation,
I settle to offer a glance of pity.

Then, he seems to pause, for an eternity,
the hollow clown fixated, petrified.
I embrace my arm around her nestling shoulder,
and we walk on.




Saplings

Saplings, side by side we grew,
both embedded in the fertile soil of potential.
Together we strived towards the alluring Sun,
in its spacious skies, we pointed hopefully towards the vastness above.

Bear of leaves and lean as twigs,
we still aspired to great heights,
to reach the looming azure breadth beyond,
to touch our potential by the very tips of our branches.

Yet when the Sun began to lower in the hazy evenings,
no longer were our branches adjacent;
above you towered, shimmering emerald jewels for leaves,
your very roots interwoven as they deracinated, strangled my own.

But even beneath your colossal trunk,
as my leaves withered, perpetually beneath your shadow,
it did not matter, I felt the Sun on me, still;
you were always a sapling, to me.


Thanks for your time!
 
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