Why, the I Feel Down Topic?

Discussion in 'Corner Coffee' started by TheMan, 18th Oct 2012.

  1. TheMan

    TheMan TowersStreet Member

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    These are my considerations. I only write them, in the hope it may help some of you.

    Firstly, the I Feel Down topic seems quite unusual in a forum. I've not really noted one, certainly not one as prominent, as the one on TsT. This got me considering... why?

    I've jumped in there, and tried to offer some advice at points, but I feel some of the problems people discuss (quite bravely and openly) are well beyond my remit! Yes, I've done the proverbial Life Coaching, been around positive psychology and how it's applied in businesses/educational establishments etc - and quite high profile at times. I've spoken to many, many successful people over the years - with the sole idea of discovering, and helping others harness their secrets... what did they do so differently?

    I expected, to find a myriad of methods, complex and enlightening or testing etc. I didn't find this at all. I found their real backgrounds to be complex, enlightening, and certainly at times testing - but the solution, their secret was simple, and pretty much unanimous.

    World famous chefs, Olympic gold medalists, Sirs, Dames, Multi Platinum producers, billionaires - you name it, I met or spoke with them (all in a great cause too by the way - not for any financial gain, loss in fact lol!).

    Fact is, I can count on one hand, those who had a great start. Those whose opportunities, simply fell at their feet, were almost anonymous. Maybe, it is because those whom were willing to divulge their secrets, to give generously of their time and spirit, better appreciated what they had? You'd be surprised at some in that list I can tell you!

    This is a message of hope to all whom may be having a bad day or time of it right now. The simple answer is to be positive, pro-active, and determined. These are the words of those who achieved it, not mine. I use them, every day my self to try and become a better person, to achieve my dreams which now in my mid 30s, I have come very close to but not quite achieved yet! Some of which I have dedicated over 2 decades to practicing, learning and crafting.

    We are never a finished article, life is never perfect, people out there can be crappy and try and get in your way - but ultimately, in the main, how we react to that is one of the most important aspects of life itself. Put simply, to be in control, of the things we're in control of!

    There are a few on that page, that are overly cruel and judgmental.... to themselves, yet wonderfully kind to others? Treat your self better, not at the expense of others of course, but when you treat and appreciate the great things about you, more people will relate to that.

    If you're insecure, we often write stories in our minds as to what others are thinking about us, or how much better than us they are, but I certainly realised from my work, that even those right at the top echolons of society - have had very similar experiences! One TV personality in particular, wrote to me a near entire chapter on their own insecurities as a teenager - now a millionaire, TV presenter turned multi-national production company boss, was once incredibly insecure about themselves. Some of these people went on to become friends, with l'il old me! The point of this though, is that everyone has insecurities, even those who appear hugely confident! I still do that's for sure ;D

    I'm financially worse off for the experience, it took so much of my time and energy, and the project did not go to plan due to reasons I will not divulge in public (likewise the project itself).

    We have as a society, become more fractious, diverse, and marginalised. It can be harder now than ever to make real friends (ironic, given modern technology and the advent of "social media") - life is more material based (much of which I like incidentally ;D), but they are the reasons that we need to now be more careful than ever, to tend to our inner feelings more.

    All in all, I wonder - is our love of Themeparks, based on a need to focus on something outwardly, to distract from our innermost feelings with which we struggle? They are after all based on escapism.

    Anyway, it's lovely to witness the support in that topic - I just feel I cannot sit with some knowledge/experience that may help even just one person, and not express it.

    I wish you all the best, and I'll be happy to suggest some basic techniques that I my self use, or have seen others use, to help them keep focused and hopefully even just a little happier - but as always, if things get too bad, go and speak to someone, the word community was not invented because humans do well alone, we are indeed a social creature.

    TheMan
     
    Posted 18th Oct 2012
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  2. Alastair

    Alastair TS Forum Team Team Member

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    Love the insight and thought behind your posts TheMan :)
     
    Posted 18th Oct 2012
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  3. TheMan

    TheMan TowersStreet Member

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    Thanks mate appreciate that! Not always sure how my thoughts translate into text on here, so the feedback is also quite a relief ha-ha! ;D

    Also have to say, your name is fantastic!! Makes me laugh everytime I see it - The Psychoaster ;D - just quality.
     
    Posted 18th Oct 2012
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  4. Meat Pie

    Meat Pie TowersStreet Member

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    Gee... Thanks for that...

    If you think there is any simple answer to being happy than I think you are very misguided. You make happiness sound like a choice when actually it's nothing of the sort. You can't just switch a switch and choose to be all of the things that you listed in the above quote. It is so-so-so much more complex than that. Telling people to just lighten up and apply some pseudo-self-help guff really doesn't cut it for a lot of people who have deep-seated issues.

    Now I have to say that I recognise you made your post with the best of intentions, and I'm gonna come across like some nasty grouch. However, I'm currently in a downward curve in my ever fragile emotional state and reading posts which are so ignorant and so far removed from the truth which seem to suggest that all you need to do is try harder to be happy, or that muddling through with a false smile on your face will solve everything, distresses me to no end.
     
    Posted 18th Oct 2012
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  5. TheMan

    TheMan TowersStreet Member

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    I didn't arrive at this thought process by some ill conceived silver spoon moment.

    I arrived here after the death of my best friend and business partner, and undergoing a massive thought process change, derived via advice of my beloved deceased confident and co-conspirator.

    Your perception of this advice, clouds the truth that lies behind it. I am not saying you should accept it, nor indeed try it, if it does not ring true with you. I am not either suggesting that people walk around being falsely happy. However, we are talking doctorate level university, research, and conscious based reasoning here.

    You do indeed choose, whether to be happy or not, whether to be confident or not, and how to react to situations - even those that are extremely difficult. I am not saying it is the only way, or indeed people should pressure themselves - as that is juxtaposed to the solution itself. So therefore it cannot be a falsehood, as it exists.

    You will miss opportunities that arise, or chances of support at times, if you are not in a frame of mind to be open to them - we can only process a tiny fraction of our days events, it is a subconscious choice as to what that information is, that we take on board. What we take on board, is defined by the filters through which we perceive the world (religious belief, is an obvious example of this - things are measured in relation to a creator, rather than natural or scientific at times - not saying either is right/wrong by the way). It is not however, defined to structured beliefs, indeed those structured beliefs them selves will be different in each person, leading to a totally different perspective and recollection of events. This and more creates those filters, by which we judge events and our selves even. Many medical professionals are also coming to this realisation - it isn't psycho mumbo jumbo. There are very real, very physical, positive implications for taking on a more positive attitude.

    That's not to say it is easy, or indeed perfect - much is trial and error, to find out what works for you, but to find that out - you must try it.

    Our incredible olympic athletes, particularly the track cyclists, are using similar methods - I was impressed to note, even the BBC did a feature on it - all be it 5 minutes long, it was definitive in its explanation of what creates success! Those Golds, no accident, years and years of pain, dedication, their success is directly proportional.

    Do you think they could achieve that, if they didn't believe they could win? They rehearse their success both physically, and mentally, do an exhaustive level. I'm not suggesting that, what I am saying though, is that it most definitely works!

    I used to be of the exact mindset of which you speak - has life been smooth since, not at all! However, it has improved markedly in many ways. I reached a point I thought, I've tried everything else so I'm going to listen to what these guys have to say, and give a fair go, as I was at my wits end.

    What is most difficult to deal with however at that point, is the realisation that you have only just begun with a step, and that it will be hard work to maintain that level of dedication at times. This correlated directly, with what many other people told me, far far more experienced and successful than I have ever been!

    So who do I listen to? Those who have been there, done it, got through it, and are now massively successful - or those whom like me before, thought it was a load of nonsense?

    And then what do I do, not share this information freely, in my own time, with nothing to gain from it?

    What would be the point?

    And what of those, whom I know this will help? My advice is to of course, choose your own methods of coping etc, but there are others for whom this will help.

    These aren't my ideas - I can't take credit for them, and it is there for people to try for them selves if they wish - but without trying it, properly, how do you ever know? That was simply my own thought process.

    Anyway I'm neither judging your post, nor suggesting that you take on board what I say - merely that, I felt it would be helpful to share what others were most generous enough to share with me.

    Essentially what I was saying there, is that because you have not seen or experienced it, does not negate it's existence.

    Obviously, I also hope that life improves significantly for you.

    Kindest
    TheMan
     
    Posted 18th Oct 2012
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  6. Meat Pie

    Meat Pie TowersStreet Member

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    It's naive and quite frankly unintelligible that just because something worked for you means it will work for everyone else.

    By all means, if you wished to come along, and much like everyone else on this forum, offer up what your personal solution to happiness was and offer it as potential help in a humble way, that's one thing.

    It's quite another to come brandishing your solution as something that universally works for all and announcing it in your own topic like some grand messiah spreading his wisdom to the unknowing masses. It's arrogant.

    Any reputable psychiatrist would tell you it's a fallacy that there is any one solution, and what you are saying has the potential to genuinely hurt people. I know of people who've tried all kinds of programmes that assured them they would be 'cured', only for it to have little effect. Having been told it was a definite way to happiness and having it still fail, they fell beyond any hope and the whole affair had very messy consequences.

    What you are saying is dangerous.
     
    Posted 18th Oct 2012
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  7. TheMan

    TheMan TowersStreet Member

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    I think you should re read my thread mate.

    At no point do I suggest this will work for everyone, at no point do I say it is a cure all, in fact I say you should do what feels right for you.

    Now disagree with what I am saying by all means, I do however find that resorting to comments such as this

    When I in fact state this quite clearly
    And no, any reputable psychiatrist will not tell you, that finding a method to be more positive about things, that works best for you, that that is a fallacy. You should research Neuro Linguistic Programming, Positive Psychology, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - as well as Hypnotherapy amongst others, and read what they say, take it on board, then make a judgment before suggesting what you say is true.

    (EDIT: If you're quietly of a more spiritual/theological nature, you can try Buddhism, Indian Vedas, Confucianism, many Eastern philosophies, there's about 5 different Indian ones alone I'm presently looking into, fascinating insights!)

    I am not saying people should take on board what I say, if they do not wish to. I am not either resorting to what ultimately are simply insults to try and accentuate a point.

    I have no suggested a single method for this - I have said I will make suggestions if people wish, but that there is more out there to research, many different schools of thought, that people will find work better for them than others.

    What is your alternative, to stay negative? The methods I use, will not work for everyone, probably very few - that's why there are so many - however, they all pretty much ultimately result in the same goal, and use very similar techniques, to attain more happiness in their lives, and more comfortable and at ease with them selves.

    They even teach meditation in hospitals now for goodness sake! I've seen it used in the education system to fantastic success, big businesses too. Do you honestly think, these big companies and educational institutions are placing more importance on these issues, because they don't work?

    Really, to resort to such insults in a fashion that is contrary to an ever growing wealth of knowledge, research and evidence is not something I will just sit back and allow, particularly not when you suggest such things as dangerous!

    I have no idea, what "programmes" you are talking about - there is indeed some carp out there, that is for sure, and most certainly also charlatans as exist everywhere. To suggest the principle of being sensibly positive, and taking some solice from those who have been through it and come through to make a success of themselves, as dangerous, messiah like, and arrogant is not what I would term as a measured, reasoned or even well researched response.

    Particularly, when I only posted this, to share a few bits of advice some very generous and decent professional individuals share with me!

    That being said, I also would not post it, nor indeed respond, if I did not feel these points could be suitably, empirically backed up - and not by that of mere anecdotes.
     
    Posted 18th Oct 2012
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  8. Sam

    Sam TowersStreet Member

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    Well this escalated quickly...
     
    Posted 18th Oct 2012
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  9. TheMan

    TheMan TowersStreet Member

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    You know I have an opinion or two Sam my friend ;D

    It's not about right and wrong anyway, it is about knowing there are many things out there that can help you feel a bit more positive about your self or your day.

    No miracles, though they do happen, the alternative is I keep what was said to my self, and don't fulfill the reason I undertook the project or research in the first place - to help other people lead happier lives where they can.

    Those who want it, can take it or try it, those who don't - no worries, it's not like I'm offering therapy lol! I needed this stuff in my life to help me through some tough times, and it helped, and it's been around as a basic philosophy for a good few thousand years longer than I have ;D
     
    Posted 18th Oct 2012
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  10. DiogoJ42

    DiogoJ42 TowersStreet Member

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    I think I can see what you are trying to say, The Man.

    As you have no doubt noticed, ours is a rather complex community, where many members have complex problems. They can range from having a bad day, through gereric teenage angst to full blown depression, and everything in between, and then some. But one thing we are usually quite good at is "being here for each other", providing the proverbial shoulders and ears that people need when they are down.

    I guess the fact that a lot of us meet up on a regular basis, and often spend whole weekends together talking and drinking into the small hours has formed enough friendships in the group that people feel comfortable discussing their problems on what is, lets not forget, a public forum... Now that I put it that way, it does seem slightly odd.

    I have as many problems as the next man, and often feel low (though by no means depressed). But whenever I go to post in the I Feel Down topic, reading the last few posts usually makes me think... "wow, I really have nothing to complain about. I can't post that, it will be insulting after what X has just said!" :-[

    It is a rather unusual topic to have on a theme park forum. But of more interest, perhaps worryingly so, is how often the topic is at the top of the "new posts" search. Does this imply that our community is more prone to negative feelings? Or are they more widespread than society makes out, and we are just more open about it than others?

    If you think you know, send your answer on a postcard or stuck down envelope, to:
    Blue Peter "WTF is wrong with the universe?" competition,
    PO Box 666
    BBC Television Center,
    London,
    W12 7RJ
     
  11. Meat Pie

    Meat Pie TowersStreet Member

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    Funny, you only adopted this idea in your second post. The same second post which went on to say that emotion is a choice. For that alone, I find you a cold and quite frankly scary person.

    Let's look back to your first post shall we?:
    But not just that, the way you communicate your first post is thoroughly authoritative and that I find utterly repulsive. It is made explicitly clear to anyone reading it, that you think that your solution is a solution that will work for everybody.

    And NO, any reputable psychiatrist does not say that there is one clear cut method to happiness. Yes, there are techniques, many of which can help certain people but they will not help everyone 'unanimously.'

    You must be a terrible lifecoach if you think people are capable of just changing their emotions if they work hard enough at it. So everyone depressed in the world... You are just lazy and not trying hard enough to be positive!

    This is the biggest load of tripe that I've ever had delivered to me through such patronisingly superior and egotistical set of posts.
     
  12. TheMan

    TheMan TowersStreet Member

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    Meat, I posted multiple examples where I pointed out this was not my invention

    I posted multiple times to find what works best for you

    You are using tit bits and soundbites out of context to try and verify a point that has no basis in facts I'm afraid. You are sharing your opinions as facts, yet trying to make out that I am saying there is a definitive answer and methodology that will work for everyone, when clearly I have said the complete opposite!

    The fact is, your filters you build up over time, will affect how you view the world - that really is psychology 101 mate. Like seriously, lay man stuff. You even try and debunk that, and with what? Anecdotes.

    OK I shall take on board your views, become entrenched in negativity, and instead of sharing the experiences of those whom have actually managed to get themselves through some pretty serious problems and into a position of a stable, happy life, through hard work and dedication, we shall throw our hands up in the air and proclaim it is

    dangerous to be positive!

    Quote me please, in context, where I have said there is one size that fits all, where I have said it is easy, where I have said I believe my self to be absolutely correct and everyone should listen to me and do as I say. Not quoting crap like this
    which is a truism, about research I did, on behalf of a charity cause, dealing with some of the highest achievers in the world, whom graciously and generously gave of their time!

    I'd be interested to see, if you showed them the same levels of complete disdain, disrespect and frankly rude behaviour! I made clear from the off, I am not saying this is something I invented, not even remotely so!

    Far, far from it... - I even pointed out, I expected to hear different things from these people, so it was a surprise to find it was mostly all the same advice, over and over again! - Hence the Unanimous comment.

    Clear now? Good! No more misquotations then now I hope.

    Respectful debate, researched, and supportive yes, show me one single shred of research that backs up your claims, that positive thinking and a determined attitude to achieve in life is bad, or counter productive and I'll show you a thousand that say otherwise. Not that that is what this post was about!

    You also have either misunderstood, I have not explained clearly, or you're deliberately trying to obfuscate the point on choosing your emotions. To be clear, I said you view the world through filters that you have created your entire life, you're reading this post through them - that's a fact, simple research will show you this, no memory you create is ever accurate, it is always coloured by your perceptions. Thus, when we begin to make choices as to what we wish to perceive more of in our lives, it colours our perception once more, and we will notice more of something... ie, opportunities to be happier!

    It is not rocket science in it's theory, how it works is (indeed, consciousness in this form, is still hotly debated and researched, and is now at quantum biology level - where our perception or "observations" collapse a wave of potentials. That is, all things exist in equal potentials until an observer collapses that wave of possibilities, into a decision. The latest Quantum Biology theory, is that consciousness "collapses" the physical brain. Therefore, we as consciousness, created the brain by choosing to observe that reality - thus meaning, consciousness precedes the brain, and is not merely a part of it.

    Why is this relevant? Because this is the level at which science is now exploring consciousness and human potentials. Yet you say, thinking positive is "dangerous" - no mate, genuinely, such a closed mind is dangerous because we would not be exploring the incredible potentials of the mind, and indeed our selves, if as a species we allowed such murmurings to be the basis of our intentions.

    So essentially mate, debate me yes, by all means, but to use such rude and brusque methods to try and impose your beliefs is rather ironic, given there are a wealth of people willing to give of their time, and decency, to improve and help the lives of others, by sharing their experiences/research or methods in this field! There are 100s of books you can buy, forums you can join, seminars you can go to, methods you can use - some dating back thousands of years, so I will not simply sit here and allow you to question my integrity, and intentions behind posting or indeed, the kind people whom have given their time to try to help others!

    And... Just to put this beyond doubt,

    I note you ignore the multiple professional disciplines, educational establishments, and business practices that regularly incorporate these methods - particularly positive psychology nowadays, to improve the welfare and well being of their staff, and the performance of their institutions in general...

    Once again, your refutation does not equate to non existence. I did not know about much of this, until I opened my mind a bit and I am glad I did - awareness, brings choice, I made mine - I simply say to others who may be struggling, to take a bit of hope, and maybe there's a technique or two that may begin to brighten your days a bit more.

    I have no set belief system mate, I base mine purely on evidence - if that changes, so does my belief system - I am not set in a particular way, method, or belief. So far however, you have not pointed out one shred of credible evidence that backs up your point, only trying to insult my personality and debunk my posts with out of context quotations.

    Also, it is wholly inappropriate to apportion your own sense of perception, in a fashion that is alarmist, rude and unreasonable, and potentially put others off even exploring potentials because of your own misconceptions! If you aren't interested, don't engage, simple - but don't continue with only insults, no factual back ups, and ludicrous anecdotes/misrespresented quotes, presented in a fashion to try and make me appear dangerous, messiah like, egotistical and arrogant! Your words, not mine, and certainly not something I choose to put up with.
     
  13. Scott

    Scott Former TS Team Member

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    For a topic that was seemingly meant to offer advice, it doesn't seem too wise to turn onto someone who has openly admitted depressive thoughts and that the ideas offered in the OP wouldn't work for him...

    I think the issue with your ideas TheMan is that what you have written could be inferred as gospel which will work for everyone and that if people who are depressed do not try it, then they are doomed and shouldn't bother trying. I think it may have just made some people feel patronised for having issues. Obviously you have good intentions, but everyone deals with their problems in different ways and offering individual help in the 'I feel down' thread may be more worthwhile than making a self-proclaimed help thread.
     
  14. James

    James TS Founding Member

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    This topic is getting rather aggressive.

    Could we calm down a bit please. In any argument please make sure you respect the views of others and not start to insult or mock one another. Speak in a well mannered way too and consider how your post could be perceived.

    Thanks.
     
  15. TheMan

    TheMan TowersStreet Member

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    It's not always easy to relay some complicated, and particularly in this Country lol, rather unfamiliar philosophies :D

    I posted about that in the feel down topic, and in this earlier (I think lol!) - that I find remarkable, and really rather lovely, that one moment someone is down and struggling, but no sooner have they posted, someone else posts something else - and that same person, is there offering words of support and encouragement! Essentially, what I'm saying boils down to is, go a bit easier on your selves, and recognise all the wonderful stuff you do for others - I certainly won't stop pointing out when I see great acts of kindess taking place :)

    I did allude to the fact, that sometimes that familiarity is a good thing, other times, not so much, from someone outside looking in - what is clear, and undeniable, is there are strong friendships and support networks amongst you all, created over many years, that has indeed created a lovely community. I just think perhaps, sometimes, (and I mean no disrespect by this I assure you), it is forgotten this is a public forum with visitors who aren't as familiar with the friendships etc. This post is a prime example, as a new member, simply offering some words others have offered to me, it's extraordinary to find such responses - and actually, quite unusual. Rarely have I come across such fiercely contested debating, it would be easy to forget this is a Roller Coaster forum lol!

    Our problems are all relative mate, for everyone who has a problem, or indeed a great experience, someone else will have a better/worse one, Ad Infinitum. Someone else could be over exaggerating their experience, whilst you may have better coping mechanisms and actually be worse off! It's such a subjective thing. I get down quite frequently, I'm certainly not always bouncing off ceilings with joy ha-ha! I have insecurities, annoyances, worries - the reason for posting this was, I was relieved to find that there were things that worked, and a pretty common thread that ran through them all! Like I say, it was a tragedy that actually led me here, not being born with a silver spoon - far, far from it.

    From the little observation I have done, there seems to be a broad cross section of individuals whom are possibly going through much in their lives due to aspects of their life, that are still not considered by many as "normal". For example, being gay - now I have a very close relative, whom since coming out, has had a ludicrous amount of extra problems - simply for the fact he is gay! I find this, extraordinary in the 21st century, but I cannot dismiss the fact that they have indeed had their lives made unforgivably difficult as a result. I only say this, as I see much reference to sexuality on this forum - more so once again, than I recall seeing on any other general interest forums. So perhaps it is, that the problems people experience here, are actually more intense than others, and that in growing so closely as a community together for many years, that it is seen as acceptable to be more open about deeper emotional feelings, and therefore it is more public. On the whole though, I think that it is your latter point, that these feelings are more prominent than society as a whole has led us to believe, but a warm, if quite insular community here, has resulted in creating a forum more open to these issues being aired more publicly.

    This is a good thing I think in fairness, because others whom may be lost or feeling they're alone in this, may actually find solace in, what in reality, is the most unlikely of forums! I do also think, escapism also plays a part though - I go to Theme Parks for a day "away from it all" no question, that's why Varney's VAT campaign annoyed me so much ;D

    Hahahahaha!! Do we get a discount with a blue peter badge? :D

    Anyway, hope nothing came across aloof or offensive in there, text doesn't always translate intentions so well lol! They are of course only my observations/opinions etc.

    All I would say in general is that, the older I get, and the more so called "knowledge" I accumulate - the less I feel I know! ;D

    Thanks for the post though mate, enjoyed responding too it :)

    Kindest
     
  16. Sazzle

    Sazzle TS Administrator Team Member

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    *takes team badge off (I'm upset - its not Scarefest themed :(!!)*

    Unfortunately I can't really admit to taking on board much of what you've said, TheMan.

    I see the 'I Feel Down' topic as a way in which members can express their worries, concerns and other such life issues, with the warm knowledge that people care. I don't think anyone cares about the deep psychology behind it - its a way to vent, get advice, and grow friendships.

    The fact of the matter remains that if a new member posted in there with troubles, seeking help and advice, they wouldn't be shunned be because of their low post count, nor on account of never met any of us. There are a lot of regular posters on the forum who have never been on a meet/conversed outside of the forum context... that doesn't mean they deserve less help, and doesn't mean they'd get a lesser standard of support.

    People who are posting their problems may also demonstrate their ability to support others, but why should that be subject to psychological scrutiny? I can always provide help and support to my friends, but I am rarely able to sort my own problems!

    Admittedly the viewing of such a topic by an outsider can create the impression that we have a closed community, and this is unfortunate, yet the topic shouldn't be moved/hidden. Members are aware that their problems and responses are publicly viewable, and so are comfortable with this - the outsider who isn't contributing to the topic doesn't carry any weight.

    No level of life experience and no qualification is an alternative to sharing a problem. A problem shared is a problem halved (or divided between ten, depending on the amount of post responses ;)).

    In lay man's terms... is it wrong to have the topic? Nope. People are people - individuals. It takes some people years to find happiness and overcome barriers, yet others it might take only weeks or months.

    What's the big deal with the five post cafuffle? Or am I having a blonde day...?

    Sent from my HTC Desire using Tapatalk 2
     
  17. TheMan

    TheMan TowersStreet Member

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    I think with respect I made clear this was not the case. That this advice came from other sources, and that was used by me in one of the more traumatic moments of my life. I've put it up only for those who may feel it could be of use to them, if it doesn't resonate with you, don't use it.

    I have actually said now multiple times also, that I'd encourage others to go easy on themselves, and recognise how much good they actually do as well - particularly when one begins to feel of no use to the world. Why has this has attracted such derision I have no idea!

    I stand by this, my post is not gospel or preachy, it is researched and backed by fact - it is not a discussion of a mysterious omnipresent being. I deal with facts. Those facts helped me. I pass them on with no guarantee of miracles, ease of use, or appropriateness for any individual.

    Interpretation is most certainly an issue here, one I have recently alluded to also - it is hard to disseminate feeling into text, with no understanding of the person whom has written it. Therefore often, it is up to the reader to discern context. However I have gone out of my way now to clarify this quite clearly, and I will maintain my right to defend myself staunchly against comments of a personal nature, on a thread that was simply put up to share advice others had kindly given to me.

    As much as I would like to take credit for these methods, ways of thinking, etc - I cannot, and most critically, have not.

    And yes, Meat has indeed shown signs of depressive thoughts - we're on a public forum, does that therefore mean one can reduce that down to personal assertions and insults? No. In fact, the first reply I simply sought to clarify where perhaps misunderstandings had occurred. The second time however, that was not the case.

    Are you now taking responsibility for his actions? I don't mind debate and friendly discussion, I also maintain my right to defend my intentions and actions.

    Remember what I posted here - a rough prose, of A LOT of research, and generosity of many phenomenal people - not some hate infested, or religious, argument or demand!

    At multiple points, I have said, this is for those basically who feel it may help - and everyone will obviously follow their own path. So in essence, with respect of course, I disagree entirely with what you have made out my post to be.

    I hope also now, that any misunderstandings, on what is a positive post, that I took my time to post out of kindness and consideration for others.

    I'm by no means suggesting anyone is doomed, either, where that comes from I have no idea. And why the "self proclaimed help thread" comment? So what are you suggesting, I wait for others to get to the point they have to post in the I feel down topic, and then I reply to each person individually? Seriously?

    The main reason I made this post, to clarify this matter now 100%, was that I felt that, with the experience I have had and through the generosity of many others, it would be easier to not actually interfere or interject in conversations others were having, and provide a simple place where people could choose to find this information... if they wanted it. IN actually, a less pushy fashion than what posting individually on the other page amounts to!

    Ironic don't you find?

    I didn't go bashing anyone's door down to read this. You all came and read it of your own free will, you are equally as free to ignore it if it is not for you - that doesn't mean I will ever become an apologist.

    I even opened up, and detailed reasons as I the point in time I felt this worked best for me - a very, very unpleasant time indeed!

    Certainly never expected this response that's for sure.

    It's also clear that some will choose to post their thoughts on the I Feel Down topic, others will not feel comfortable doing so. It is perhaps more aimed at those, who are feeling helpless quietly, to whom this post is aimed. It was more to say - don't despair, many have been through stuff like this, come out the other end, and there are plenty of things out there to help you do it too!

    If I help even one solitary person, have the tiniest modicum more happiness as a result, it is worth it - and the reason I have such thick skin now, is through the amount of stuff I have been through in my own personal life.

    Wow though man, seriously?
    :eek:
     
  18. BigAl

    BigAl TowersStreet Member

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    Everyone knows there's only one universal way to cheer yourself up...


    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M[/youtube]


    ;D
     
  19. TheMan

    TheMan TowersStreet Member

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    Ha-ha, that's quite alright! You won't be the only one ;D

    Actually, a few members are clearly of the thought that it is quite unusual to have such an active topic on a forum totally unrelated. I think it is a wonderful thing, and have had nothing but praise for it and those whom participate - the brave individuals who do post, will encourage more to do so, and raising that point will also encourage more to feel comfortable enough to do the same.

    Actually, unless I am vastly different here, I have felt a times most certainly singled out as an outsider, and would not feel comfortable posting in there - as right from the off, I have had people mocking, and insulting any opinions that I have had (particularly kind ones actually). Take it or leave it, I'm generally not fussed by it, but I feel it would be remiss to think I'd be alone in that feeling.

    I am not scrutinising it - I made observations, that it was unusual, but that it is in fact a wonderful thing - I actually made reference to my own personal experiences and the fact that I like Theme Parks for their "getting away from it all", other points I made are in direct response to questions other members have posed. When you look honestly, at why these things happen you are more likely to find a solution that can actually be of help. I actually included my self in that, not like some separate issue to which I am not privy. And again, the purpose of this was not to scrutinise, but to just point out - it got me thinking, and I wondered if the advice I had been given, or my experiences could be of use to some.

    I agree, there is no way this should be hidden or moved - I don't recall even alluding to anything of the sort? Quite the opposite in fact, I have done nothing but praised the openness of this page and those whom are kind and generous to contribute to it - including, those having problems! I felt highlighting the kinder nature of this, would also help increase the feeling of self worth of those individuals contributing - why not? You have someone feeling crap about them selves and feeling worthless, who then helps out someone else, they clearly are of worth to many people :) - this is, a wonderful thing!

    Can do nothing but agree with you there lol!

    Just want to make clear to everyone, I'm not suggesting it is wrong to have the topic, quite the contrary, I apologise if that has come across as the case anywhere in my posts. My point was simply, that it was unusual - and recognising such may actually help improve the feelings of those involved in it, but to also point out - there are techniques and help available that can help in every day life, to leading an, even slightly, happier existence.

    Anyway like I say, text doesn't always translate the best, but I can assure you I am judging/scrutinising nobody, and the point of this post was to firstly point out the kindness of some people on here, and hopefully shine a light on a more general set of principles that are available to people, with much support around, if they so choose.

    Kindest
     
  20. TheMan

    TheMan TowersStreet Member

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    And after my serious response once again there, can I thank Big Al for bringing some much needed joviality to proceedings

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaand after 3......

    Allllllllllllllllwaaaaays look on the........

    Thanks dude ;D - you're a legend
     

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