Rumba Rapids

Don't be fooled. It really is that bad.

Rumba Rapids is an Intamin river rapi...ahem, river ride at Thorpe Park that Ribena soiled in 2002. Taking a dump on rides isn't what you'd associate with the makers of such a tasty drink, but heh, that's Thorpe for you. Fortunately the deal ended in 2007, but Ribena couldn't be arsed to reclaim their crappy theming or corporate image after the chavs had done their worst to it. The ride is therefore probably much the same now as it was under sponsorship, i.e. still sh*t.

Ride experience

The fun of a rapids ride comes not from actually getting wet, which can be pretty unpleasant, but from the potential for getting wet. Unfortunately, unlike Congo River Rapids at Alton Towers (which gets the fun-to-wetness balance more or less right), Rumba Rapids can barely muster a wave that'll make your boat rock, let alone chuck some water up at you. The result is that the entire ride is a complete snorefest from start to fini...hang on, what's that? Oh nooooooooo!

So that visitors to Thorpe Park that actually wasted time queueing for RR can retain at least trace quantities of dignity in front of friends that rerode Inferno instead, it seems it was decided that some way of compensating for the ride's inherent lack of wetness was needed. Yep, you guessed it, there's a sodding water cannon before the lift back towards the turntable. This isn't fun, and is unacceptable wetness, for three reasons:

1. You're more or less guaranteed to get wet. There's virtually no chance of you looking like you're in for a soaking, then escaping, so it's not remotely fun.

2. The rest of the ride is so dull that it doesn't feel worth getting wet for.

3. You're at Thorpe Park, what were you THINKING when deciding to ride chav rapids?!

Music

As TVTropes say, your mileage may vary, but to some enthusiasts, RR's soundtrack is its saving grace. It has occasionally been argued that, almost like The Ultimate and The Pirate Of Sharkbait Reef, it's so bad it's good. The tune, while horrifically cheesy, is an undeniable ear worm, though not to the extent of Toyland Tours's music. Some members of TST actually dance in the queueline because it's the only thing worth doing, on a pretty worthless ride. At least some people make the effort to be entertaining!