TowersStreet Wiki - User contributions [en]

Thorpe Park: The Musical

2011-04-11T08:16:00Z

Adsoldroyd: /* Version 1 (Variety) */ xD i <3 this page

'''Thorpe Park: The Musical''' is a brand new project recently announced by [[Merlin Entertainments Ltd]] as their first attempt to branch out into the theatre industry as an entertainment company, with a budget of £6 and planned premier in the Arena at [[Thorpe Park]].

Tickets are rumoured to be: Stalls at £1,000. Lower Circle at £2,000. Upper Circle at £4,000.

Fasttrack for this show is also rumoured to be £50456833546 to enter the Arena 1.1 milliseconds before everyone else.

== Plot ==

Rumoured to be written by Andrew Lloyd Webber, ''"... an action adventure within a Staines theme park, combining romance, tragedy, monologues about the sheer pain [[Chav|Chavs]] go through to be accepted in society... and lemurs..."''

==== Act 1 ====

Rides break down at Thorpe Park.

People complain. Rides get better. They break down again.

==== Act 2 ====

Someone has a epiphany. Nobody really cares. Another ride breaks down.

==== Act 3 ====

Agnes gives birth on X:\WTF. Still nobody really cares.

==== Act 4 ====

Someone goes toilet in the Tidal Wave pool. No-one notices.

==== Act 5 ====

Someone has a cup of tea and they wait for all this to blow over.

== Proposed Main Cast List ==

* Michael Ball - Marius the Mechanic
* Michael Crawford - Erik the Phantom Mechanic
* Lee Mead - Trevor the Varicoloured Chav
* Lea Michelle - Trevor's Pregnant Girlfriend, Agnes
* Richard O'Brien - Igor the Time-Warped Ride Operator
* Elaine Page - Doris the Guest Services Cat
* Tim Curry - The Real Nick Varney
* Barbra Streisand - Barbra Streisand
* Jasper Carrott - [[Where's Waldey?|Waldey]]
* Jonathan Ross - Man on SAW: The Ride
* Mazz Murray - Killer Queen (Laura Friedman - Head of Marketing)
* Louie Spence - Ride Operator

== Song List ==

=== Version 1 (Variety) ===
Although only half of the song list has been released, it has been rumoured Elton John will be working on the music with Barry Manilow on the lyrics, accompanied by Lil' Wayne and T-Pain as musical contributors.

#All Chavs Allowed
#Who Wants To Ride Anyway
#Queue Jumper! (Prosecutor!)
#Technical Delay - The Mechanic's Song
#Kumbayah! (Ride Is Broken, My Lord)
#The Pizza Hut Buffet Blues
#Let Me Detonate You
#The [[Rumba Rapids]] Rumba
#Stealthy
#Burn, Baby, Burn (Nemesis Inferno)
#Banana Salsa (Mr. Monkey Got it Going On)
#If Only Fish Could Fly (Feat. Mr. Kipper)
#If Only We Could Rollback (Time)
#One Delay More
#Fire Exit (No Way Out)
#There's Nothing Here For The Kids (feat. Kid Cudi)
#Another Man Rides The Rush
#The Music Of The Fright Night
#I Am The Agnes
#I Have A Complaint (There's No-One Home)

=== Version 2 (Daft Punk w00t!) ===

Other rumours tend to suggest that French House Band [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daft_Punk Daft Punk] will be scoring the musical. Naturally this makes the musical awesome.

#One More Ride
#Da Funky Stench Near SAW
#Robot Rocks Near Colossus
#Aerodynamic (Song for Stealth)
#Ride it, Break it, Fix it, Test it, Break it, Tape it, Kick 'n' Destroy it.
#Something About Colossus
#Rollin' and Scratchin' the floor with our feet.
#Alive (Just)
#Burnin' Witches
#Advertisments Rules The Nation

No wonder [[Thorpe Park]] are running out of money! <s>(Yeah right, I wish)</s>

<s>Never</s> Coming Soon.

== Merchandising ==
===Original Cast Recording Soundtrack===
*Digital Download (96 Kbps mp3!)
*Standard CD (Burnt onto a Tesco Value disc)
*Strictly Limited 2 disc edition (Second Disc featuring ride noises, some examples are "Exciting Chain lift!" and "Hydraulic Launch!")
*Strictly Strictly Limited Vinyl Edition (smashed, naturally)

===Clothing Range===
All clothes by Bench and Henleys.
*"Insert Name Here" went to Thorpe Park and all I got was this stupid T-Shirt.

== Unconfirmed "Ride it, Break it, Fix it, Test it, Break it, Tape it, Kick 'n' Destroy it lyrics (Daft Punk: Technologic)==

Buy it, ticket, queue it, use it,
Walk it, run it, ohhh - you broke it,
Screw it, change it, run it, twat it,
Snap it, work it, quick - re-open it,
Chav it, brap it, punch it, kick it,
Luv it, bruv it, quick - translate it,
Want it, wait it, broke it, evac it,
Twat and bop it, load - unload it,
Latch it, lock it, dispatch it, broke it,
Download it, hate it, dam - f*ck it,
Complain it, get s*it, threaten it, get it,
Got it, use it, yay - exit pass it,
Ride it, rate it, love it or hate it,
Lunch it, brunch it, queue? - oh f*ck it,
Want it, queue it, wait it, watch it,
Ride it, break it, test and tape it.

Ride it, swing it, queue it, review it,
Post it, read it, ohhh - you hate it,
Watch it, wait for it, ride it, broke it,
Snap it, work it, quick - re-open it,
Chav it, brap it, punch it, kick it,
Luv it, bruv it, quick - translate it,
Lunch it, queue still s*it, queue it, eat it,
Slurp and burp it, dam it taste s* it,
Latch it, lock it, dispatch it, broke it,
Download it, hate it, dam - f*ck it,
Complain it, get s*it, threaten it, get it,
Got it, use it, yay - exit pass it,
Ride it, rate it, love it or hate it,
Watch it, wait for it, quick - photo of it,
Want it, queue it, wait it, watch it,
Ride it, break it, test and tape it.

THORPE PARK!!!!!!! [4x]

Buy it, ticket, queue it, use it,
Walk it, run it, ohhh - you broke it,
Screw it, change it, run it, twat it,
Snap it, work it, quick - re-open it,
Chav it, brap it, punch it, kick it,
Luv it, bruv it, quick - translate it,
Want it, wait it, broke it, evac it,
Twat and bop it, load - unload it,
Latch it, lock it, dispatch it, broke it,
Download it, hate it, dam - f*ck it,
Complain it, get s*it, threaten it, get it,
Got it, use it, yay - exit pass it,
Ride it, rate it, love it or hate it,
Lunch it, brunch it, queue? - oh f*ck it,
Want it, queue it, wait it, watch it,
Ride it, break it, test and tape it.

Ride it, swing it, queue it, review it,
Post it, read it, ohhh - you hate it,
Watch it, wait for it, ride it, broke it,
Snap it, work it, quick - re-open it,
Chav it, brap it, punch it, kick it,
Luv it, bruv it, quick - translate it,
Lunch it, queue still s*it, queue it, eat it,
Slurp and burp it, dam it taste s* it,
Latch it, lock it, dispatch it, broke it,
Download it, hate it, dam - f*ck it,
Complain it, get s*it, threaten it, get it,
Got it, use it, yay - exit pass it,
Ride it, rate it, love it or hate it,
Watch it, wait for it, quick - photo of it,
Want it, queue it, wait it, watch it,
Ride it, break it, test and tape it.

Touch it, break it, close it, fix it,
Re-open it, ride it, dam, broke it.

Latch it, lock it, send it, broke it,
Phone it, code it, dam, I hate it,
Buy it, ticket, queue it, use it,
Thrash it, walk it, WAIT!!!, merchandising it,
Watch it, snap it, zoom it, photoshop it,
Snap it, work it, quick upload it,
Write it, review it, post it, thanks for it,
DAM it, check it, quick rewrite it,

Buy it, ticket, queue it, use it,
Walk it, run it, ohhh - you broke it,
Screw it, change it, run it, twat it,
Snap it, work it, quick - re-open it,
Chav it, brap it, punch it, kick it,
Luv it, bruv it, quick - translate it,
Lunch it, queue still s*it, queue it, eat it,
Slurp and burp it, dam it taste s* it,

Buy it, ticket, queue it, use it,
Walk it, run it, ohhh - you broke it,
Screw it, change it, run it, twat it,
Snap it, work it, quick - re-open it,
Chav it, brap it, punch it, kick it,
Luv it, bruv it, quick - translate it,
Want it, wait it, broke it, evac it,
Twat and bop it, load - unload it,
Latch it, lock it, dispatch it, broke it,
Download it, hate it, dam - f*ck it,
Complain it, get s*it, threaten it, get it,
Got it, use it, yay - exit pass it,
Ride it, rate it, love it or hate it,
Lunch it, brunch it, queue? - oh f*ck it,
Want it, queue it, wait it, watch it,
Ride it, break it, test and tape it.

Ride it, swing it, queue it, review it,
Post it, read it, ohhh - you hate it,
Watch it, wait for it, ride it, broke it,
Snap it, work it, quick - re-open it,
Chav it, brap it, punch it, kick it,
Luv it, bruv it, quick - translate it,
Lunch it, queue still s*it, queue it, eat it,
Slurp and burp it, dam it taste s* it,
Latch it, lock it, dispatch it, broke it,
Download it, hate it, dam - f*ck it,
Complain it, get s*it, threaten it, get it,
Got it, use it, yay - exit pass it,
Ride it, rate it, love it or hate it,
Watch it, wait for it, quick - photo of it,
Want it, queue it, wait it, watch it,
Ride it, break it, test and tape it.

Lock it, latch it, dispatch it, broke it,
Phone it, code it, dam, this ride's s*it,
Love it, hate it, post it, rate it,
Hype it, show it, ultimate ride it,
Build it, paint it, test it, advertise it,
Open it, ride it, dam, we broke it,
Want it, queue it, wait it, watch it,
Ride it, break it, kick 'n' destroy it.

THORPE PARK!!!!! x12

If the rides were songs, they would be these

2011-04-09T18:46:39Z

Adsoldroyd: Minor change to Hex. It makes more sense to be Sonic tbh.

If the ride music had to be replaced with real songs, they would be these:

[[Nemesis]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sUlDQtK5kY Hellraiser] - They've got to change it to this for at least a day!

[[Air]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSR6ZzjDZ94 More Than A Feeling] - This was in no way inspired by [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrY2Xtmd2qo this]

[[Duel]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClQcUyhoxTg Don't Fear The Reaper] - Nuff said

[[Sonic Spinball]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnR3Rln5qzc You Spin Me Right Round] - It would be hilarious if they played this in the queueline...chose this video because of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJv5qLsLYoo this]

[[The Flume]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8yx4k4tzqE Nice Weather For Ducks] - You probably know where I got this from

[[Rita]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Se5JLYKQfDU Lovely Rita] - Obviously

[[Sharkbait Reef]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZoCrD88RP4 Somewhere Beyond The Sea] - Is there anything else?

THE LIST NEEDS GROWING! ADD MORE AND ALTERNATIVES!

James' Residences

2011-04-06T06:30:15Z

Adsoldroyd: Just an opening. Expand if you wish, delete if you don't. xD

[[James]] has found many places to rest his head whilst avoiding the public at Alton Towers. Here is a list of the places believed to be slept in by him.

*Oblivion's Tunnel - closed Season 10-11
*In the Towers themselves - When he realised that cars were being released down the tunnel.
*Th13teen Crypt - His original hiding and thought-to-be birth place
*Duel's Hall of Poltergeists - Pretending to be a zombie, before his cover was blown
*Beastie's Empty Control Box - He nested here until the previous worker returned to collect his keys.

WHERE WILL HE HIDE NEXT?

File:Harrykiller.jpg

2011-03-16T21:26:51Z

Adsoldroyd: HAHAHA. Harry isn't alughing now :L

HAHAHA. Harry isn't alughing now :L

Enterprise

2011-03-16T21:19:33Z

Adsoldroyd: yay! a SPESH page for you to edit...

I LIKE SPINNY THINGS! No, really, it spins.

File:Faff.png

2011-03-16T20:15:31Z

Adsoldroyd: it is a faffy picture.

it is a faffy picture.

The Faff Revolution

2011-03-16T20:12:45Z

Adsoldroyd: adding bullets.

The Faff Revolution was the initial uprising of [[faff]], and ultimately [[anti-faff]].

== The Birth of Faff ==

Whilst the world was waking up to the umistakable scent of theme parks during the 60s and 70s, a huge boom for poorly constructed and completely useless memorabilla/souveniers erupted. Alton, spying a chance to fill their then-meagre pockets produced a series of nic-nac stalls, selling anything from postcards and pencils, to medals and mugs (which can be viewed on the [[Theme Park Mug Database]]). With the demand ever rising, people spent more and more time during their visits browsing through the selection of novelties. Whilst they gorged themselves on caps and t-shirts, those who were not drawn into the bustling shop noticed the strange ffects the theme park shops had. People were delayed, zombified. The faff had begun. Whilst queues formed, the faff spread, capturing a much wider selection of people. This outbreak was known as the faff pandemic.

== The Faff Pandemic ==

The faff out break had the thriving theme park community in uproar. Whilst absent-minded visitors browsed to their heart's content, the brave and noble-hearted members of the theme park community consulted the High Council of Wardley (motto: Pupillus pupilla Intemporaliter Propitius) who declared this state of faffing as a pandemic. Whilst reluctant, action had to be taken; an ongoing force against all those who faff. Anti-faff patrols were enforced by enthusiasts and faff awareness was spread. Thus beginning a new age;

== Rise of the Anti-Faff ==

Anti-Faff was generally up and running. Members of anti-faff patrols were expected to follow the 5 ultimate D's of anti-faffing:
*1). Distract
*2). Disrupt
*3). Defaff
*4). Destroy
*5). Distract (because that is twice as important)

== Extensive Faff ==

Faff is still a major cuase of theme park depression. 99% of TTF meets result in some form of extreme faff, causing loss of time and will to live.

The Faff Revolution

2011-03-16T20:11:57Z

Adsoldroyd: sort of finished. tis a bit crappy, but i thought faff needs another page... delete if u hate it. or edit it until its unrecognisable. cant blame you :D

The Faff Revolution was the initial uprising of [[faff]], and ultimately [[anti-faff]].

== The Birth of Faff ==

Whilst the world was waking up to the umistakable scent of theme parks during the 60s and 70s, a huge boom for poorly constructed and completely useless memorabilla/souveniers erupted. Alton, spying a chance to fill their then-meagre pockets produced a series of nic-nac stalls, selling anything from postcards and pencils, to medals and mugs (which can be viewed on the [[Theme Park Mug Database]]). With the demand ever rising, people spent more and more time during their visits browsing through the selection of novelties. Whilst they gorged themselves on caps and t-shirts, those who were not drawn into the bustling shop noticed the strange ffects the theme park shops had. People were delayed, zombified. The faff had begun. Whilst queues formed, the faff spread, capturing a much wider selection of people. This outbreak was known as the faff pandemic.

== The Faff Pandemic ==

The faff out break had the thriving theme park community in uproar. Whilst absent-minded visitors browsed to their heart's content, the brave and noble-hearted members of the theme park community consulted the High Council of Wardley (motto: Pupillus pupilla Intemporaliter Propitius) who declared this state of faffing as a pandemic. Whilst reluctant, action had to be taken; an ongoing force against all those who faff. Anti-faff patrols were enforced by enthusiasts and faff awareness was spread. Thus beginning a new age;

== Rise of the Anti-Faff ==

Anti-Faff was generally up and running. Members of anti-faff patrols were expected to follow the 5 ultimate D's of anti-faffing:
1). Distract
2). Disrupt
3). Defaff
4). Destroy
5). Distract (because that is twice as important)

== Extensive Faff ==

Faff is still a major cuase of theme park depression. 99% of TTF meets result in some form of extreme faff, causing loss of time and will to live.

The Faff Revolution

2011-02-25T18:58:22Z

Adsoldroyd: I have to go now, but this isn't finished (obviously). I could use a LOT of help getting this one going.

Big Thunder Mountain

2011-02-19T19:07:15Z

Adsoldroyd: Tbh, a VERY VERY basic start. I just thought a page would be good for this :P

Big Thunder Mountain is... I'll let you decide guys :P

Come Ride With Me

2011-02-02T20:23:45Z

Adsoldroyd: Sorry if it isn't good. Thought I would have a go myself, but it didn't really turn out right. Oh well, practise makes perfect!

To make Come Ride With Me, the TTF's cameras have been given unprecedented access to one of Britain's busiest Theme Park Resorts. For months, the producers have followed anyone and everyone to produce this portrait of life at the cutting edge of the UK Theme Park Industry. From entrance plaza ticket staff to ride hosts, from theme park border control to crazy theme park fans, and from low-cost theme park owners to their customers, all human life is here!

== Precious Little ==

Deep in the heart of Katanga Canyon, Precious Little is operating the Runaway Mine Train.

* "Sit back, hold tight, PRAAIISE THE LORD!"

However today, the ride has had to close early.

* "Evil things have happened, got distracted me from putting the bolts inbetween the cars, an tragically the train has snapped in the tunnell. The Lord works in mysterrriouss waayyys! But God, in all his almighty wisdom, has allowed me to spend the rest of the day getting a hand manicure from the shrimps in Sharkbait Reef. PRAAIISE THE LORD!"

== Peter and Judith ==

At Guest Services, guests Peter and Judith have been queuing to make a complaint.

* Judith: "We have had the THEME PARK VISIT from HELL. It all started when we missed the turning for Thorpe Park and ended up at Alton Towers. Oh hum we thought, lets make the best of a terrible situation."
* Peter: "We were walking up the Oblivion que-"
* Judith: "I'll take it from here Peter. We were walking up the Oblivion queue when some ride host pulled the chain over the queue line to let single riders past. Never mind I thought, until I noticed that in doing so she had sliced Peter in two. Not one to complain I made Peter drag his bottom half up to the station."
* Peter: "Blood was spirting everywh-"
* Judith "Yes, thank you Peter. Honestly, I can't get a word in edgeways!"
* Peter: "Sorry Judith"
*Judith: "Quite so! Blood was spirting everywhere and it was a terrible mess, then to make matters worse, Peter was too short to ride, and we were shown the exit. We have had the THEME PARK TRIP from HELL! We should have went to Thorpe Park"
* Peter: "If I had to sum this day up, I'd say, disapointing"

== Simon and Jackie ==

Simon and Jackie Trent, are one of Alton Towers only married couple ride operators. Four years ago Simon had an affair, and the couple heading through a stormy time.

* Simon: "Call ten single riders please"
* Jackie: "Ten single ri-"
* Simon: "Check restraints"
* Jackie: "I haven't finish calling the riders yet. Can we do one thing at a time please?!"

Today, Jackie has spotted something unusual on the Team Air list:

* Jackie: "She's here. The ride host Simon had the affair with. There she is over there. She's been sent over from Team Oblivion to cover today. "Assume The Position", that's just what she said to Simon. Right before he droped into her hole. She doesn't know me, but I know her. Of course I'm not going to stoop to that level. I've moved on"

(In control room)
* Simon: "I'm just nipping to the loo"
* Jackie "Well if you're both going in the tunnel stay out of the guests sight, and clean you mess afterwards. The mops are in there."
* Simon: "Eh?"
* Jackie: "DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO! You and her! In the tunnel! Screwing each other again!"
* Simon: "That was a long time ago!"
* Jackie: "Don't get snappy at me! I'm not the one who had the affair, now sit down and be quiet."
...

* Jackie: "If you want tonight I'll order us a takeaway for tea"
* Simon: "... Yeah..."

== Taaj Manzoor ==

Taaj is one of Alton Towers's cleaning staff, however his real ambition in life is to become a ride designer.

"OK, me most favouritist rides ever, in reversological order are Nemesis, Th13teen, Air, Th13teen after dark, The Beastie, SW6, Submission, Oblivion, Fourteen, Rita and me favouritist ride of all time is SW7, I mean know its not made yet but is gonna be the best ride ever, isn't it?"

== Ian Foot ==

Ian Foot is head of Alton Tower's devoted security team. Based in the Lost Children Windmill, he is dedicated to keeping troublemakers away from the resort. On his daily patrols around the park, he has found an 'undesirable' in the Berry Bish Bash area.

* Ian: We at the resort have reason to believe you have entered the park without purchasing a ticket or passing through the first entrance.
* Sanjit: That is ridiculous. What evidence do you have to prove me guilty?
* Ian: I don't have to justify our concerns to you, 'Sanjit', if that is indeed your name. I would also like to point out you were caught out using weapons in that attraction area.
* Sanjit: Don't be stupid. The Berry Bish Bash is all about firing balls at each other. It's a simple game.
* Ian: So you ''do'' admit it?
* Sanjit: I would like to see somebody higher up. You have no reason to accuse me.
* Ian: I'd like to see your ticket.
* Sanjit: Here (throws ticket across desk)
* Ian: (reading aloud) ADMITS ONE. ALTON TOWERS RESORT. FULLY... PAID... Right. Ok. What I am going to do on this occasion is let you off with a warning. But I want you to...
* Sanjit: I am going to complain about this. You'll see. I will have you fired.
8 Ian: At the end of the day, I have a duty to do. And if 'Sanjit' , was an undesirable, I'd never forgive myslef. See?