TowersStreet Wiki - User contributions [en]

Submission

2012-12-22T00:33:33Z

Alexander:

Submission is a cruel and misanthropic flat ride, located at [[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]]. It is considered by many to be "a complete load of old bollocks", however, this claim is hard to verify as approximately only 3 people have ever ridden it... and one of those was "for a dare".

== History ==
Submission was developed in secret under the codename 'SW4.5' (Sore Willy 4.5) and inflicted upon an unwitting public in 2001. It is thought by many to have inspired [[Thorpe_Park|Thorpe Park]]'s eventual collection of twisted torture devices aimed at the "young teen" demographic.

While labelled as a "Chance Double Inverter", it is nothing of the kind. [[File:Submission.jpg|300px|thumb|"I'll only ride it if you do."]] The mythical 'second arm' (a topic which was found in a recent study to constitute approximately 68% of all posting of TST) is a fake, or 'dummy' arm, installed to give the impression of a popular, high capacity, queue munching visual spectacle. It has ''never'' worked. Nor will it ever. Ever. So stop going on about it. In attempt to disguise this fact, [[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]] occasionally rotate the entire ride 180 degrees to give the impression that both arms are genuine, a technique that appears to fool the vast majority of the park guests.

In its distinguished history, Submission (the name being a throwback to an ill-fated sponsorship deal with Subway) has thrilled literally... some guests.

== Recent Controversy ==
Submission recently hit the headlines, when incredibly reliable and accurate scientific studies found that it increased riders' chances of developing a combination of paranoid schizophrenia and diarrhoea by as much as 93%.

It also causes horrible pain to any head, shoulders, chest, knees and crotch area which decreases life span heavily and increases reproductive organ deficiency.

Anybody who wishes to re-ride Submission because they thought it was fun is typically beaten with a Doc Martens boot and left for dead in the [[Thirteen]] crypt, or if they are forced to by another then their lighter sentence is being beaten with a Chelsea Boot and left for dead in the [[Thirteen|Thirteen]] crypt.

== Trivia ==
Submission is known to be the favourite ride of BNP leader Nick Griffin.

[[Category: Ride]]

Chav

2012-12-22T00:33:23Z

Alexander:

The '''Chav''' is a species of human being that is commonly found in cities, towns and theme parks. Members of the Chav race can often be distinguished from ordinary people by their choice of vocabularly, earings, cigarettes and the tendancy to call everybody they pass by on the street a "gayboy".

Chavs make up 78.6% of the General Public, and are the most successful species of human (Probably because of their inability to control their breeding habits). They often avoid the [[Alton Towers]] smoking ban because they think they are cool. Another popular habit is to spit at people from high places, showing off their saliva glands to the to attract a mate.

However, a Chav tends to be rather friendly and therefore most vulnerable when alone or with parents. It's best to catch them in this situation in order to gently converse. This may result in the Chav having an epiphany and change in lifestyle, depending on how you talk to them. An extreme example is switching from being a 'hard man' to 'softly spoken gentleman'.

== Dealing With Chavs ==

Chavs are a tricky race to deal with and can unexpectedly draw the average man, woman or TSTer into their clutches. The most common phrase to be repeated when one or one's friend is caught in this situation is "''Remain Calm''" but how to deal with the problem is most touchy and careful so to make a wrong move will cause terrible consequences.

==== In Reality ====

If you come across a Chav and the hoarde it has gathered, then:

* Keep a good distance away.
* Do not 'tut'.
* Do not say anything in their presence.
* Do not make eye contact.
* Walk away quickly from the area.

==== At Theme Parks ====

Chavs sadly do exist at our local leisure, amusement and theme parks, visiting either because a 'fast and wikid' ride is in their interest or because they wish to heckle the General Public by:

* [[Queues|Queue]] jumping
* Smoking
* Spitting gum and/or saliva
* Littering
* Being 'ard man innit

Two common examples of theme parks that Chavs aim to desecrate are Alton Towers and [[Thorpe Park]], both vastly different in market and ride lineup. Although Thorpe Park is more up 'da' street for Southern Chavs with having 'fast and wikid mint' thrill rides that suit their bragging skills, a minor amount will be willing to travel longer to meet their Midland relatives for a day out at Alton Towers.

Chavs tend to be more at home at Thorpe Park because the staff understand their needs for domination, loud chart music, a lack of theming and a map only they would be proud of showing off to their 'mates'. There is normally nothing to be done about avoiding Chavs at Thorpe unless you went on a really quiet day, otherwise you're stuffed on a busy day when you're stuck between two groups of the race in a 2 hour queue for either [[Colossus]], [[SAW: The Ride]] or [[Stealth]]. The claustrophobia will automatically worsen when the ride breaks down. It is heavily advised you think through your decisions before queueing on a busy day.

Meanwhile at Alton Towers, Chavs have to try harder to win their dominance within the park as it is a family resort, meaning innocent sprogs are running about with their possibly dangerous parents as well as enthusiasts such as [[TowersTimes|TST]], who can easily block the queues by linking arms and stop a Chav or even a group from queue jumping. Most Chavs are seen lingering around [[Rita]], [[Congo River Rapids]] where they tend to stand up, [[Air]] where they collonise on the breakrun (Spitting amongst other things) and [[Nemesis]], where particularly on the latter, a group will argue that "''dis is not da real Nemezis, da real one is at Thorpe, I saw dat last week innit so dey shud rename it''" before attempting to chuck their empty bottles through the loop 'for da lolz'.

The main Chav grounds within both theme parks are Burger King and KFC, both of which can be avoidable if the General Public are smart enough to head for less grease worthy eateries. You can recognise a group of Chavs in a fast food place simply by the amount of chairs missing and speed of the staff working behind the counter.

=== Useful Phrases ===

*Brrrap brrrap, innit!
*Innit, blad!
*Innit, breadbins!
*I is well 'ard, innit!
*Wikid! ''(Considered by many chavologists to be an invalid Chav phrase because of the absence of the word "innit")''
*Leg it ta [[Rita]], innit! It's well sick, blud!
*You f*****, s*** l**** r*****ing, innit!
*Let wu' go then, innit! ''(Generally only heard in locations "oop North" of England)''
*P*sseh ride, innit!
*Innit!

Thirteen

2012-12-22T00:33:09Z

Alexander:

'''Thirteen''' (or <nowiki>Th13teen</nowiki>... or 13.... or Thir13teen... or ThFAILteen... or ThThirteenteen... or Fou14teen... or Da F1RtEen) is currently considered the best [[roller coaster]] in the world, just above the acclaimed [[X:\No Way Out|X:\WTF]] at [[Thorpe_Park|Thorpe Park]], and Gouderix at Parc Asterix in France. It's situated in the [[Dark Forest|Intamin Forest]] at [[Alton Towers]]. It is also the hiding place of [[James]].

== Construction ==

It was constructed personally by [[John Wardley]] out of whatever scarce resources were available at the time (namely optimism, hyperbole, bits of old fluff, PVA glue and some steel that was pinched from a skip round the back of [[Drayton_Manor|Drayton Manor]] - rumour has it this was earmarked for their long rumoured '[[Blue_Fire|Blue Fire]] type thingy', plans which have consequently been put on hold while they build a hotel that approximately nobody will ever feasibly use). John then set about building what [[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]]' [[Marketing_Department|marketing department]] dubbed, "every [[Roller_coaster|roller coaster]] you've ever dreamed of... after eating too much cheese."

The construction of <nowiki>Th13teen</nowiki> was shrouded in mystery. So much so, that a mass grave was excavated on-site early on, to [[File:Th13teenhole.jpg|thumb|right|The mass grave used to dispose of those who threatened to reveal Thirteen's secrets]] bury anyone who dared reveal the secrets of 'SW6' to the rabid 'enthusiast community'. It was during this phase, that [[Alton Towers]] colluded with 'Team [[TT|TT]]' to keep the masses ignorant... sort of like communism. The team shamelessly accepted bribes (mostly crude polaroid snaps of [[John_Wardley|John Wardley's]] bum), in return for removing any vaguely accurate information from the boards of TST.

Ultimately however, all original plans were scrapped when 'an old [[Castle|castle]] thing' sprung up overnight on the ground previously home to the [[Corkscrew|Corkscrew]] (the <nowiki>'castle'</nowiki> is rumoured to have fallen out of a rider's pocket back in 1987, owing to the appalling lack of bag storage available, and simply nobody had noticed until now). Engineers decided to just build a bit of track, and feed it into the '<nowiki>castle</nowiki> thing' and see what happened. As it turns out, an elevator-like device gingerly lowered riders into the world's first crypt paradoxically located on the ground floor of a structure.

== Public Opinion ==

Skip forward to March 20th 2010 and Thir13irteen opened to great fanfare. Poor weather and even the presence of Jonathan Ross failed to dampen spirits. [[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]]' marketing team (often mistaken for mythical '[[Wraiths|wraiths]]') were quick to seek out public opinion of the new ride. Opinions generally ranged from "Yeah, quite good. Bit short though" to "Yeah, I really enjoyed it... but it was a bit short". The day was overshadowed however, when [[John_Wardley|John Wardley]] was kidnapped by a crowd of 'enthusiasts', after uncharacteristically deciding to go for a walk without an armed guard. His whereabouts remain unknown...

The ride experience of <nowiki>Th13teen</nowiki> has been described as having "more trims than a mens' barber shop on a Saturday morning" as well as being "a rollerskate around the woods, then finishing with a Tower Of Terror imitation drop". Oxford University's top linguistic experts are still working round the clock to de-code this sentence, to establish whether the quoted person enjoyed or hated the experience of <nowiki>Th13teen</nowiki>.

One particularly eloquent forum goer described Thirteen thus:

:''"this ride appears to be nothing more than the impromptu and accidental love child of The [[Frog Hopper]] and [[Runaway_Mine_Train|Runaway Mine Train]], conceived following half a can of cider during an emotional school prom, discarded to fend for itself in woodland once reserved for duelling [[Schwarzkopf]]s and cross-valley woodies and unearthed during excavations for a tombstone marking the departure of the marketing director following not so much shooting themselves in the foot, but blowing off all four limbs after climbing inside an unexploded world war II bomb and promptly being left lying in the mud, swallowing the occasional passing slug in order to survive."''

== Technical Difficulties ==
:''See also: [[Dedicated Trackside Flux Sensor]]''

<nowiki>Th13teen</nowiki> has recently been experiencing persistent technical issues. These have been initially addressed by imposing a strict weight limit on the trains - a move which has caused Theme Park Review to cancel their planned trip to [[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]] this Summer, after a suggestion of eating fewer burgers was unanimously vetoed.

== [[The_Marmite_Ride|The Marmite Ride]] ==
<nowiki>Th13teen</nowiki> - proclaimed as "<nowiki>The Ultimate</nowiki> [[Roller_coaster|roller coaster]]" - has unfortunately divided opinions between anyone who has or hasn't ridden it, thus creating tension and worldwide backlash. The main reasons as to this divide in many communities is the way the [[Roller_coaster|roller coaster]] was marketed (as a thrill ride, when in fact it was meant for families), and the ride experience itself with the 'OHAI GUYZ' world's first free-falling drop.

Thus this has now coined the phrase, [[The Marmite Ride]] because it is either loved and adored, pampered and made delicate like a Ming vase... or despised, spat on, kicked and regularly picked on. You could say it's the reason why it has so many technical delays, unlike [[Air]] who just has massive hissy fits.

[[Category: Roller Coaster]]

Doodle Doo Derby

2012-12-22T00:33:00Z

Alexander:

Doodle Doo Derby is situated within the realms of [[Old MacDonald's Farm]] at [[Alton Towers]], a minature carousel that just goes around in a circle for those height challenged both as children and as adults.

It is a occasional hotspot for TST, who are typically over 15 and are usually too old for this sort of ride but still ride it anyway for a bit of fun.

It probably does not help that the seats are themed like farmyard animals like ducks, pigs, cows and sheep which all strangely appear the same size. It also doesn't help that there are buttons on these animals to make funny sounds, which can be pressed at multiple times to make a mass array of noise, often upsetting the nearest 5 year old.

The most uplifting thing about Doodle is the '[[Air|Air]] gates' used for letting the visitors get on the ride. It is also probably the most technologically updated thing in the Farm area too, ignoring [[Ribena Berry Bish Bash]].

[[Category: Ride]]

Europa Park

2012-12-22T00:32:52Z

Alexander:

TST's international fap park. Famously has a [[monofail]] manufactured by [[Von_Roll|Von Roll]].

Home of [[Bench]] - the ride.

== See Also==

[[Roland Mack]]

Europa Park's Official Fan Site: http://europatimes.co.uk/

[[Category:Theme Park]]

Alternative ride names

2012-12-22T00:32:44Z

Alexander:

According to the bizarre and convoluted unwritten rules of TST meet ups, rides are not referred to by their real names wherever possible, either because people can't be bothered saying the full name, or to mock an unpopular ride.

A list of common alternative names is shown below, names that are strictly abbreviations are not included:

== [[Alton Towers]] ==
*Enterprise - Brenda
*Nemesis: Sub-Terra - Terry, Sub-Terrible, Sub-Par, Sh*t-Terra
*[[Blade]] - Bland
*[[Nemesis|Nemesis]] - Nemmy
*[[Oblivion|Oblivion]] - Blivvy, BOLIVIA (shouted)
*[[Ripsaw|Ripsaw]] - Rippy
*[[Sharkbait_Reef|Sharkbait Reef]] - Sharkbait Beef
*[[Sonic_Spinball|Sonic Spinball]] - Chronic Sh*tball, Sonic Shamballs, Stupid Shitball, Sonic Spinfail, Screwball,
*[[Submission]] - Substandard
*[[Th13teen|Th13teen]] - ThFAILteen, Breakdown: The Ride, Thibby
*[[Air]] - F<nowiki>air</nowiki>: The Ride, Concrete: The Ride, Breakdown: The Ride, Annoyance Is Regular, Aerodynamic Infernal Rage, Another Indecent Ride

== [[Chessington World of Adventures]] ==

*[[Bubbleworks|Bubbleworks]] - Michael Bubleworks, Troubleworks
*Dragon Falls - Rascist Falls
*[[Rameses_Revenge|Rameses Revenge]] - Rammy, Rippy Ripoff
*[[Vampire|Vampire]] - CAMPire

== [[Disney|Disneyland]] ==

*Space Mountain - Sparse Mountain, Brace Mountain

== [[Drayton Manor]] ==

*Apocalypse - Poccy
*G-Force - G-Farce
*Splash Canyon - Syphilis Canyon

== [[Europa Park]] ==

:''Otherwise known as OYROPA''

* Atlantica Super-Splash - Hot Portuguese Ass
* Blue Fire - Bluefie
* Geisterschloss - Schloss
* Matterhorn Blitz - Matterhorn Sh*ts
* Piccolo Mondo - Luxury [[Bench]]
* Poseidon - Possie
* Schneeflocken - '''[[Bench|BENCH]]'''!!
* Schweizer Bobbahn - Schweizer Bob-BORED BARNES, Roland's Love Bobs
* Silver Star - Silvia
* Whale Adventures - Whale Watching

== [[Flamingoland]] ==
:''(Otherwise known as Flamingobland or Mingoland)''

*Velocity - Veloshitty

== [[Legoland]] ==

:''(Otherwise known as Legobland)''

*Viking River Rapids - Ghetto Splash

== [[Camelot]] ==
:''(Otherwise known as Cum-a-lot)''

== [[Lightwater Valley]] ==
*''(Otherwise known as Sh*tewater Valley or Fappwater Valley)''
*[[The Ultimate]] - [[Ultimache|UltimACHE]]
*Whirlwind - Top Buzz 2

== [[Mandyland|Pleasure Beach Blackpool]] ==
:''(Otherwise known as Mandyland)''

*The Arena - Iceland.co.uk, Mandy's Grotto
*Ghost Train - Trauma Train, Ghost Towers
*Grand National - The Nash
*Impossible - Impossible it's still here!, Boring Swing
*Infusion - Intrusion, Traumafusion, Confusion, Loggie's Killer
*River Caves - Racist Caves
*[[Rollercoaster (PBB)|Nickelodeon Streak]] - Rola-Cola, Streaker, 'The Orange One'
*Steeplechase - Sleep-lechase
*[[Valhalla]] - Valerie
*Wild Mouse - Bone-Crusher, The Bruiser

== [[Thorpe Park]] ==
:''(Otherwise known as THORPE PARK!!!!!!! or FORP PARK!!1!)''

*[[Colossus|Colossus]] - Colossucks, Lolossus, For-the-lossus
*[[Nemesis Inferno]] - <nowiki>Nemesis</nowiki> Inferior, Nymphferior, Ninfailo
*Rumba Rapids - Brapids, Drybina Slumba Cr*pids
*[[Lost City|Rush]] - Thrush
*[[Lost City|Samurai]] - Scamurai, Shamurai
*[[SAW:_The_Ride|SAW: The Ride]] - Snore: The Ride, SORE: The Ride
*Slammer - Schwammer, Schwammy Wammy, Clamper
*Storm Surge - Storm Drain
*[[Lost City|Vortex]] - Bore-tex
*[[X:\No Way Out]] - X:\WTF

== Noob Names ==

In addition to above, there are a number of common mistakes made by theme park [[Noobs|noobs]] regarding ride names. Some of the more frequent include:

*[[Sonic_Spinball|Sonic Spinball]] - Pinball Wizzard
*[[Squirrel_Nutty|Squirrel Nutty]] - Squirrel Nutkin
*[[Duel]] - Haunted House, Target Zone
*[[The Flume]] - Log Flume
*[ride name] - The [ride name] *exception to this being anyone saying "The Blade", which is just uber-cool, or anything else that actually does have 'the' in the name.
*<nowiki>Nemesis Inferno - Nemesis</nowiki>. This is '''clearly unacceptable'''. There is only one <nowiki>Nemesis</nowiki>, and it lives in Staffordshire.

[[Category:Meet Memes]]
[[Category:TST Induction]]

Roland Mack

2012-12-22T00:32:30Z

Alexander:

Roland [[Mack|Mack]] is is a deity, revered as a [[GOD|God]] by [[Rollercoaster|rollercoaster]] enthusiasts. He is prayed to each day, and has hundreds of monuments to his greatness around the world. These are ridden by thousands every day, simply as a mark of respect to the great man. These come in a few main categories:

[[File:roland.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Mmmmmm...tastes like win]]

'''[[The Flume|Roland's love boats]]''' 
'''Roland's love wagons''' 
'''[[Marauders Mayhem|Roland's saucy love cups]]''' 
'''[[Runaway Mine Train|Roland's love train]]''' 
'''Roland's love bobs''' 
'''Roland [[Mack|Mack]] and his Chamber of Secrets (a [[Vekoma]] [[Mad House]] rip-off)''' 
'''Roland's tax returns''' 
'''Roland's big Bratwurst bonanza''' 
'''Roland's leiderhosen adventure''' 
'''Roland's tache''' 
'''Roland's happy hour''' 
'''Roland's Merlin hotline''' 
'''Roland's non-existent concept of modesty''' 
'''Roland's Blue Frier ([[Europa Park|Europa's]] ALL NEW fish'n'chip shop)''' 
'''Roland's Hollywood monumental movie''' 
'''Roland's Merkel Madness!''' 
'''Roland's big baps''' 
'''Roland [[Mack|Mack]]'s Goblet of Fire''' 
'''Roland's Frankfurt forest''' 
'''[[Terror Tomb|Roland's Love Affair]]''' 
'''[[Terror Tomb|Roland's Bastard Love Child]]''' 

Often these rides are known to emit Roland's love juices, which are treated as holy water by enthusiasts.

== I Love Roland! ==

When riding a [[Mack|Mack]] ride on a TST meet, it is generally required to express one's undying love for Roland <nowiki>Mack</nowiki> - the man who makes people smile.

As of 2012, Roland is officially the King Of Fun, according to the Ice Show at Europa Park.

== See Also ==

[[Europa Park]]

[[Category: Meet Memes]]

TST Chat

2012-12-22T00:32:21Z

Alexander:

Chat is another page on [[TowersTimes|TowersTimes]] for members and guests to interact through the use of internet instant messaging, used for these sole purposes: Chat, slam, annoy, tease and posting random rubbish. The chatroom is a regular buyer in [[Canned_Laughter|Canned Laughter]] as well as [[Tumbleweed]], both being part of the regular Chat routine if particular members are being failures at jokes or the room is just too quiet.

It was installed in the 1800s after the moderators and administrators of the TST found that a <s>large</s> small proportion of members couldn't be bothered out of laziness to actually post IN the forums themselves. This included some of the moderators and administrators too.

TST Chat is admittedly responsible for the jokes: [[Splat]], [[Where's Waldey?]] and [[VAN]], the latter of which was caused by a certain drunken Admin. There are more jokes around but these are the only ones bothered enough to appear so far.

TST Chat ranges, when you appear in the room, between mere childishness and absolute immaturity and very rarely hitting the serious. Although when it comes to that level, some member has to say something very immature to bring back Chat into its normal levels.

Who knows what'll happen if there is a serious Chat session for more than a hour, maybe the world will spontaenously combust? Or [[Mack]] will cease to exist? Will [[John Wardley]] be turned into a lady and spend more time fussing over what shoes to wear on-park? Or perhaps [[Thorpe Park]] will be loved and admired by all?

Oh... the horrible possibilities are endless! Oh the humanity!

In order to be more 'savvy' and understandable with [[TowersTimes|TowersTimes]] members who stay within the realms of Chat and speak utter things you wouldn't understand, then please direct yourself to the [[GeNeDo Diagram]], which sums up the demographic of members.

== Moderation ==

TT Chat is overlooked by one, or several admins, who seem to permanently live there, and one or more bots - the most recent being [[John Wardley]] in robot form. Chat can get quite lively on a Friday or Saturday night so the [[ban stick]] - whilst an uncommon sight - does come out from time to time to provide some anal probing.

== Special Events ==

Every now and then TST Chat will be graced by special events. A common, and highly popular one is radio, which may rear its head at any given time to provide chat with a bit of ambient music. To spot upcoming events like radio simply watch for the [http://prntscr.com/1mm5a banner] at the top of the forums.

== Epic Quotez ==
[04:25] Craig: all nighter tbh

[04:25] Sammy: SHUT UP BATES

[04:26] Sammy: NO

[04:26] Craig: ive got 3 hours sleep, then meeting tiff for lunch, then driving to dom's

[04:26] Sammy: NO WAY IN HELL

[04:26] Craig: ALL NIGHTER!

[04:26] Craig: DO IT!

[04:26] Sammy: NO

[04:26] Sammy: FUCK OFFF

[04:26] Craig: WUSS

[04:26] Sammy: TOMORROW

[04:26] Craig: IM NOT UP TOMORROW

[04:26] Sammy: WELL

[04:26] Sammy: YOU ARE SHIT

[04:27] Sammy: JUST COS YOU WILL BE GETTING FUCKED

----

[01:42] <Joelio> i'm a bit of a nob
----

[22:47] Diogo: after a hard days riding you need a proper bed

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[22:14] DannyJ: had swim in my mates poo today

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Kamfira: I can go to very far lengths!

----

[22:37] * Vezza gets on her knees

----

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_III> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_I> lets see how this works out

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_II> lets see how this works out

[01:16] <Joel_I> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_III> lets see how this works out

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_II> lets see how this works out

[01:16] <Joel_III> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_I> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_I> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_I> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

----

[01:30] <DannyJ> why doesnt [[Nemesis|nemesis]] fall of its track ?

----

[09:45] <Joel> It's all foookin Bill's fault.

----

[22:25] <Rowe> Seriously, no female will want Joelio-repellant

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[23:44] <DannyJ> can i bee the lanky suport slaper ?

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[21:52] Rowe: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.

[21:53] michael: Why Rowe?

[21:53] Rowe: Joelio's in the roooooooooooooooooooom!

[21:53] Mitch: Well... there's round 2 of "Strangest things to hear on joining [[TT|TT]] Chat"

----

[21:05] ''Dorsia left the chat room.''

[21:05] Joelio: Hey Dorsia

[21:05] Joelio: Oh shit

[21:05] Air_Dan: SHE JUST LEFT KNOBHEAD.

[21:05] Air_Dan: That is all.

----

[23:41] Craig: half price virgin ftw :P

----

[23:34] <zs_chris> you obviously do not understand the complications of the aviation industry.

[23:34] <zs_chris> I could be a vital part of my job.

[23:34] <zs_chris> it*

[23:35] <Joelio> Lol, I think you're the most vital part of your job

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[23:38] * Ogoid|drunk|cooking|NOM is scared by the quantity of tequila and Vodka he has consumed in the past week

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[23:58] <Noraa> this chaT HAS TURNED INTO A ZYLOS/KHLORY FLIRTING SESH WITH JOELIO TRYING TO JOIN IN - THREESOMEEEEEEEEEE AND DANNYJ TALKING ABOUT RANDOM SHITE.

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[00:36] <Aly> "Oh wardley wardley, how was I supposed to know. That [[Th13teen|Th13teen]] was a kids ride. Someone from the marketing team told me. It was was a thril seekers ride wardley, thats why I marketed it so" *
* To the tune of "Hit my baby one more time"

----

[23:49] <Rowe> I could go at it in bed for hours

[00:28] <Rowe> Glomping me will only prolong your time in bed

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[00:21] * Sasquatch DOESN'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.

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[21:41] <Rowe> "Chris is an amazing lover and nearly godlike at sex... oh and he was a good temp admin too."

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[22:48] <Sasquatch> How's this for a topic: 101 things we love about Rowe

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[23:23] <Parrybo> Rowe's cool... I want one

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[01:44] <Parrybo> i might knock one off then go to bed

[01:45] * Joely ears prick up

[01:45] <Ogoid> lol

[01:45] <Parrybo> ewww

[01:45] <Parrybo> that made me feel dirty

----

[20:23] <Joely> Bet some PHP cunt made it like EST or something

[20:23] <Chris_> The function expects to be given a string containing a US English date format and will try to parse that format into a Unix timestamp

[20:24] <Aly> I love it when you two talk dirty :P

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[20:08] <Joely> Condoms, lube and 3 cucumbers.

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[21:24] <Sasquatch> Cheese you sexy beast!

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[21:55] <Sasquatch> Aly, you sexy beast!

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[21:53] <Noraa> oh, Aly_ WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU, BASTARDING CUNT!

----

[19:10] <Rowe> Just go for it!

[19:10] <Islander> Hmm.

[19:10] <Islander> Do you, Chris_, accept Rowe to be your (probably) unlawful wedded wife_?

[19:10] <Chris_> yesh

[19:10] <Islander> kthnx

[19:11] <Islander> Rowe, d'you take dis man to be da same???????????????

[19:11] <Rowe> Yeeeees!

[19:11] <Islander> Innit bruv!

[19:11] <Islander> I now pronownce youz husband_ and wife_!

[19:11] <Chris_> yays

[19:11] - Rowe changes nick to Rowe_

[19:11] <Islander> You may snog the bride :)

[19:11] * Chris_ snogz the bride

[19:11] <Islander> Please go here, and pretend your names are Joan and Dave:

[19:11] <Islander> http://webspace.webring.com/people/cu/um_3734/wedding.htm

[19:12] <Islander> Ensure sound is on.

[19:12] <Chris_> wow at that website

[19:12] * Rowe_ enjoys the snogz and wraps her arms around Chris_' neck.

----

[20:29] <Islander> We really need two chat rooms... a TST chat room, and a clean version...

----

[22:57] <Vez> wow craig :D

[22:59] <Craig> yeah im done now :P

[23:02] <Craig> did someone hear?

----

[01:43] <Sasquatch> We can make love, yes?

[01:43] * BrettS passes chris a towel

[01:43] <DannyJ> ok Sasquatch

----

[18:48] <D4n> Evening Joely, Joelio & Rowe :)

[18:49] <Rowe_> Oh and you're not going to say hello to X, Jupiter or Shent? That's very thoughtful of you!

[18:50] <D4n> I'll say hello to Jupiter & Shent, I dislike X though, so think I shall ignore him. :)

[18:50] * X shifts eyes on D4n

[18:51] <D4n> ... wha... wha... :o

----

[20:54] <Rowe_> Ooof Chris_, this advantage of power is getting me hot tbh

----

[21:20] <D4n> Lucky? I'd love to get kicked out of this Hell hole ;)

[21:20] <Rowe_> Yet you always come back

[21:21] <D4n> That's... true...

[21:21] <Rowe_> Lawl [[Fail|fail]]

[21:21] * D4n 's argument falls flat on it's face

----

[20:06] * D4n was kicked by Wardley

----

[23:33] * Chris_ lieks boobs

[23:33] * Rowe_ has boobs

----

[00:29] <Chris_> Is it me, or is the text on chat kinda blurry this evening>

[00:29] <Rowe_> Just you, sweetie.

[00:29] <Chris_> I find it difficult to read

----

[21:47] <Aly> !bumme

[21:47] * Joel winks at Aly

[21:47] <Joel> I'm not that much of a tart, Aly - at least give it a few minutes!

[21:47] * Joel loads up the Travelodge website, and books a room near Aly

[21:47] * Joel packs the broom handle and KY Jelly, and sets out in his car....

[21:47] <Aly> :P

[21:47] <Joel> RUN Aly !! ;)

----

[23:52] * Ogoid wants pussy

----

[01:14] <Bote> But you'd have a water pipe up your arse

----
[19:10] *** Jem8472 has joined #tt

[19:10] <Diogo> Arrr!

[19:10] *** Jem8472 has quit (Quit: www.towerstimesforum.co.uk)

[19:10] <Diogo> arrr :(

[19:10] *** Jem8472 has joined #tt

[19:11] <Diogo> Arrr!

[19:11] <Jem8472> Hello!

[19:11] *** Aly has joined #tt

[19:11] <Diogo> arrr :(

----

[22:19] <Chris_> I dont want to have sex with you aly!

----

[23:20] <Michael> I won't be on for the rest of the night! :)

----

[19:32] <Chris_> GLEE <3

[19:32] <Mike> 'Glee FTFW

[19:32] <Aly> POOF

[19:32] <Aly> EVEN BIGGER POOF!

----

[21:51] <Zamperlas_Bitch> (aka Michael) Let's be honest, D4n's a sexy beast. :P

----

[20:45] <Chris> omg my life sucks

[20:45] <Chris> I hate you all

----

[20:53] <Rowe> It's up to John to reveal what his editing weapon is, not me.

----
[23:12] <Michael> *' **I don't [/anal]

[23:14] <Islander> You don't anal? Huh?

----

[01:02] <MattH> i want lees babies tbh

[01:02] <Chris> I thought you were straight?

[01:02] <MattH> well, only when im sober

----

[22:32] <@Chris> I presume you and dave had the same issue? :P

[22:32] <Rowe> Yup.

[22:32] <Rowe> We just didn't know how to do it...

----

[19:42] <Bote> "Are you ready weeds? Start tumblin'!"

[19:42] <SasqWatch> ^ lol

[19:42] <Bote> These weeds are made for tumblin'. And that's just what they'll do.

[19:42] <Bote> One of these days these weeds are guna tumble all over you

[19:43] <Bote> ba da da da da da da

----

(Chris takes a look at Grindr)

[21:50] <Aly> why did you open it? :P

[21:51] * Ian knows Chris secretly bookmarked it

[21:51] * Aly pulls Chris out the closet :p

[21:51] <Chris> I wanted to see what their website was like!

[21:51] <Aly> full of gays? :P

[21:52] <Chris> its yellow ;)

----

[22:02] <Chris> This chat needs more boobs

----

[22:22] <Jordan> So... who's voting Ultimate then? :P

[22:22] <Chris> not me...

[22:22] <Jordan> Why not Chris?

[22:22] <Chris> Because I dont rate it

[22:23] <Chris> I find it painful, dangerous and poorly designed

[22:23] <Chris> it also has no theming :P

[22:23] <Jordan> :P

[22:23] <ILoveLWV> I find YOU painful, dangerous and poorly designed >_>

----

[20:29] Aly: nope, I'm a gay!

[20:30] Aly: its true. honest!

[20:30] • Aly bums Chris as proof

[20:30] Chris: :|

[20:30] Jordan: Tut tut! :P

[20:30] Rowie: Chris.

[20:31] Rowie: Invest in a chastity belt for Opening Meet.

----

[02:04] <Chris> Hey everyone, Joel is making me do work at 2am. Sympathy plox

[02:04] <Joel> !k Chris Get on with it.

[02:04] *** Chris has been kicked by X (Get on with it.)

----

[23:02] <Islander> I think Rowe just killed Dave.

[23:02] <Rowe> That was Dave's fault tbh.

----

[22:28] <Craig> aly wouldnt come out of his mother's vagina until a light up set of stairs were placed there and he was able to mince down with a feather boa on

----

[23:03] <DormiensDave> i'm 26, thats almost pension age in TST

[23:04] <Aly> noo to colours :P

[23:04] <Ogoid> OI!

[23:04] <Aly> Pension Age?

[23:04] <DormiensDave> and if anyone tels Badger i said that i will kill them

[23:04] <Aly> You practically DEAD and BURIED to most TST'ers

----
[21:01] <Jem8472> Hellllllo!

[21:01] <Squashwatch> How the fucking gypsy cunt are you?

[21:01] <zs_chris> shit, bugger, arsehole, piss, cock, fart.

[21:01] <Ogoid> Flange!

----
[21:27] <Ogiod> call that big?

[21:27] <Aly> well it is for the virgins ;)

[21:27] <Ogiod> I'm 8' mate ;)

----

[19:19] <Ian> I love joels cock.

[19:19] <Ian> end of.

----

[19:26] <Ian> Ooooh :P

[19:26] <Ian> I'll give you £20 to take me Michael ;)

----

[20:03] * Aly gags Ian!

[20:04] <Ian> Kinky ;)

[20:04] <Aly> whats kinky about gagging you Ian!: PO

[20:04] <Aly> Filthy Boy!

[20:04] <Ian> Maybe I'm into that sort of thing Aly

[20:04] <Aly> :O

[20:05] * Aly backs away slowly from Ian!

[20:05] <Aly> Whatever flots yer Bote

----

[20:30] <Joel> If it involves my arse, then yes :P

----

[22:46] * Benedique left the chat room. (Quit: takeaway timeeeeeeee)

[22:46] <Joelio> <pervy comment towards dom>

----

[22:36] <SAM93> And Aly... You can fuck me if you wish... Not too fussed tbh

----

[23:18] <Jem8472> ummmm cheese and biscuits FTW!

[23:18] <Magrathea> Since when has Rowe been "biscuits"? :P

----

[20:37] <Benedique> net split?

[20:37] <Sasquatch> Lamesplit!!

[20:37] <Magrathea> FROGSPLIT!

[20:37] <Michael> net split :D

[20:37] <Sasquatch> sad faaaaace!!

----

[20:54] <Chris> Disney, Disney, Disney. *faps*

----

[17:19] <@Ian> Hey Joel :D

[17:19] <~Joel> Hello!

[17:21] <@Ian> So what's shakin' then?

[17:22] * ~Joel thinks about this one

[17:22] <~Joel> Japan?

----

[23:04] <Aly> gets me WELL horny ;)

[23:04] <Joel> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

----

[21:20] * Chris also gives aly one...

[21:20] <Chris> Aly <3

----

[20:51] * Joel wants to see Chris hunt the prey, Hollie, down in a true Scouse fashion

[20:52] * Chris turns on the legendary scouse/wilsy charm

----

[00:10] <Joelio> Ellie: Have you ever propped up your bedsheets with your c**k to read a book at night?

----

[21:14] <nickdaegg> But I don't want to leave my car in the Vane car park if it means that someone's going to fervently rub their crotch on it

----

[23:15] <Chris> #and the world spins round and round

[23:15] <Chris> *earth

[23:15] <Ian> :P

[23:15] <Chris> actually Ive forgot the words

----

[01:46] * Bear grabs Dar and shakes his * violently

[01:46] <Bear> ...

[01:46] <Bear> ...

[01:47] <Bear> *Hand

[01:47] <Dar> :O

[01:47] <Dar> There was a moment that I panicked tbh!

----

[21:33:38] <Benedique> Guys who can sing and play instruments capture my heart instantly

[21:33:50] Craig can play an epic triangle

----

[21:28] <Dar> Jesus 'Chris't, it wasn't a pun. Frankly I'm s'Martin'g from the 'Dar't of meanness that you shot towards me. It's un'Bear'able.

----

[21:22] <D4n> There's also something catchy about - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcy6e8qM9U4 ;)

[21:23] <Dar> There's something catchy about the clap.

[21:23] <Dar> Moral: Not all catchy things are good

----

[19:04] <Magrathea> You can spot my crotch at some points but that's about it.

[19:05] <D4n> Ooooh... yipee!

[19:05] <Magrathea> Sex sells.

[19:07] <D4n> Indeed. I'm enjoying viewing your crotch so much that I only have one hand free to write this comment. ;)

[19:07] Magrathea runs. Far far away.

[19:09] <D4n> Although... working on the "sex sells" basis... surely Rowe should have been scripted to say "I'm weeeet" rather than "I'm soaaaaaaked"... yar?

[19:10] <Magrathea> She does later say "I'm wet on camera.."

[19:10] <D4n> Niiice. :P

----

[02:06] * MattH remembers... Fleety is only a friend, and will stay that way, but she IS HAWT!

----

[21:57] <Ogoid> basicly, TST's just one big gang bang, isnt it?

----

[21:35] <D4n> I wouldn't recommend riding Joelio tbh.

----

[22:36] <@Crofty> take your boobs with you please. xx

[22:36] <Ellie> i will :)

[22:36] Ellie has quit (Quit: www.towerstimesforum.co.uk).

[22:36] <Joelio> Lol

[22:37] <Joelio> Her Norks are Corkers tbh

[22:37] <Joelio> :)

----

[02:44] <Ogoid> its not a 90s dance tune without the following : 1) random keyboard middle 8 that bears no relation the the rest of the song, and 2) a video filmed at a fun fair! :P

----

[19:03] <Joel|DotCom> Raggghhhh

[19:03] <Joel|DotCom> Time to give arms a work out

----

[02:22:57] Joelio slips a shit out, like an artilery piece would eject a shell.

[02:23:10] <@Craig> how errr lovely

[02:23:21] <Joelio> :P

[02:23:34] <Joelio> Its very romantic Craig, tbh.

[02:23:38] <@Craig> im sure it is

[02:24:45] <Joelio> I won't oversell it tbh, its just shit slipping out of a shaft like a bob skeleton sportsman would slip and slide around a luge track.

----

[23:20] <James> Argh! I just creamed so loudly.

[23:20] <James> :O

[23:20] <James> *screamed

[23:20] <Rowe> LOL

[23:20] <James> SCREAMED.

----

[22:56] <Magrathea> That's MY crotch being violated!

----

[22:13:37] <Joelio> No idea Mike, i'm sat at home bollock naked, wanking like a monkey

----

[22:56:14] Rowe has quit (Quit: *Disappears in a flash of purple smoke, complete with lightning sound effects, the flutter of bats and Dave's evil laughter in the background.).

----

[20:50] <Jordan> SamWan, are you the woman in the relationship then? :P

[20:50] <SamWan> Nope....

[20:50] <Sam> I can't imagine Sam being a top

[20:50] <Sam> No offence...

[20:51] <SamWan> Stfu Sam

[20:51] <SamWan> I can be a top all I like!!!

[20:51] <Sam> Lol actually I guess you have to be top with R Tuggers

[20:51] <Jared> Wait, explain the term "Top" for me in this sense?

[20:52] <Sam> If it was the other way round you'd be all "...is it in yet? I can't feel it..."

----

[10:48] <Mike> .....basically thats how wet TST trolls get when they come into contact with me ;) :P

[10:48] <D4n> You realise how dirty that sounds, right? :P

[10:49] <Mike> thankfully, not many people are here to see it :P

[10:49] <D4n> Wiki tbh.

[10:49] <Mike> You wouldnt dare xD

----

[00:46] *** Rowe quit (Quit: *Sets off two massive glitter cannons, a group of rainbow gels with a drumroll and exits promptly via trap door* Didn't want to make a big deal out of leaving, bye all!)

----

[02:40] <JohnWan> Sam, I think you're BARKING up the wrong tree

[02:41] <JohnWan> Sam, you're making a PAW effort at a comeback.

[02:42] <Joelio> John, you're being un-FUR

[02:42] <Ogoid> I'm sure you will COLLAR yourself a man soon enough Sam ;)

[02:42] <Chris> this is turning into an interesting TAIL

[02:42] <JohnWan> Just don't LEAD anyone on.

[02:43] <Aly> I'm sure Sam will VET the new men accordingly ;)

[02:44] <Aly> perhaps Sam wants 101 dominations?

[02:45] <Jordan> Aly, I think Sam wants to give you a good HOUNDing ;-)

[02:46] <Joelio> Lets put a HALTER on Johns shit puns.

[02:46] <Benedique> Can we all stop SNIFFING around the issue here please.

[02:49] <Jordan> Go FETCH the wiki page someone

----

[21:12] <Ogoid> Urgh, why do young teen girls have to SCREAM so much???

----

[04:29] <Joelio> for my half 4 wank Craig, it'll be YOU today, not dom

----

<nowiki>[23:29:36] <~Joel> "Location of vehicle: ___ LOWER BITTEL RESEVOIR (in the water) ___"</nowiki>

<nowiki>[23:30:35] <~Joel> "Sketch the accident: ~~~~~~~~[ Tesco.com ]D~~~~~~~~</nowiki>

<nowiki>[23:30:43] <~Joel> ~ = water</nowiki>

----

[00:53] <Craig> stu wouldn't know subtlety if it came up and anally raped him

----

[20:15:38] <Martin> "Look at those boobs" "Forget those, look at Nemie's new wheels!"

[20:15:44] <Magrathea> ^this

[20:15:57] <Magrathea> Wheels <3

[20:15:58] Magrathea has quit (Quit: Magrathea).

[20:16:13] <@Chris> ^ he got too excited about the wheels

----

[02:04:00] <AdamJames> I'm as straight as a lamppost.

[02:04:05] <AdamJames> I think that just about covers it.

[02:04:13] <Dan77> what happeds if a car crashes in to it though?

----

[20:48] <Jared> Who wants to see Rowe's bum? Haha

[20:47] • Ogoid throws his head back and emits a dirty laugh

[20:48] <Joelio> Rowe's bum ftw

----

[23:47] <SAM93> Craig is fat and old!!!

----

[00:42:50] DannyJ cums ove the RR summer release

[00:43:11] <StevieHunter> has the CT out yet?

[00:43:43] <towersfreak> stop speaking in acronims

[00:44:48] <towersfreak> brb

----

[00:52] <Joelio> Dom doesn't know what she's let herself into

[00:52] <Dar> last two words are the wrong way round Joelio

----

[20:57:00] <Hello> FUCK THIS ALTON TOWERS IS THE BIGGEST PIECE OF SHIT ON EARTH WHY ARE YOU SAD ENOUGH TO BE ON A FORUM ABOUT IT

----

[02:16] <Rowe> Sex music comes on.

----

[21:10] <Hark> Who got fingered?

[21:10] <Ian> Eww

[21:10] <Craig> oh god yeah!

----

[22:17] <DormiensDave> Is the Ellie in here big breasted small blond ellie or big breasted violent tall ellie?

----

Drunken gibberish postings by Dom & Aly

[01:38:13] <DominiqueAndAly> y46u

[01:38:14] <DominiqueAndAly> i76

[01:38:15] <DominiqueAndAly> 65

[01:38:16] <DominiqueAndAly> t

[01:38:17] <DominiqueAndAly> i

[01:38:18] <DominiqueAndAly> y5

[01:38:19] <DominiqueAndAly> yu

[01:38:20] <Joelio> We could probably summarise it

'''removed 8 posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:38:28] <Jem8472> nahhhhh

'''removed 8 more posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:38:36] <Jem8472> post the whole mental rambling

'''removed yet another 8 posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:38:44] <Jem8472> anyway what happened to the flood kick thing?

[01:38:44] <DominiqueAndAly> jj

[01:38:45] <Joelio> DominiqueAndAly: <various drunk tyipngs>

'''this time 11 posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:38:56] <Joelio> no idea, but I wish it was back

[01:38:56] <DominiqueAndAly> trh

[01:38:57] <DominiqueAndAly> tt

[01:38:58] <DominiqueAndAly> hy

[01:38:59] <Jem8472> but would not be as funny as this TBH

'''this time 18 posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:39:17] DominiqueAndAly has quit (Excess Flood).

[01:39:19] <Jem8472> Maybe we should bill them for wasting chat space

[01:39:23] DominiqueAndAly joined the channel.

[01:39:23] <Jem8472> about fooking time

[01:39:27] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:27] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:27] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:27] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:28] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:28] <Joelio> LOL

'''removed lots of shit posting by DominiqueAndAly something along the lines of:'''

[01:39:28] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:28] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:40:54] DominiqueAndAly is now known as Craih.

[01:40:59] <Craih> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:40:59] <Joelio> my ego side enjoys Dom calling my name :P

'''5 minuets of Authentic Frontier Gibberish removed'''

[01:45:46] Craih is now known as Craig.

[01:45:50] <Craig> lol

[01:45:51] <Craig> :P

[01:45:52] Craig is now known as lol.

[01:45:58] <lol> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:45:58] <lol> hh

[01:50:40] <Joelio> :)

[01:55:44] <lol> God damn it I'v e forgoet craigs password in my drunken state

[01:57:31] <Joelio> his password is

[01:57:39] <Joelio> "CockFan99"

[01:58:40] <Joelio> due to his love of cock.

[01:58:57] <Joelio> Its a bit obvious though as he's quite gay

----

<kamfira> id offer nick varney one tbh
(The above was obviously said in relation to MAPs

----

[20:39:22] <Jared> Geez. Stop typing my name... I'm trying to transfer 1TB of photos atm...

[20:39:32] <D4n> Sorry Jared.

[20:39:39] <D4n> I'll stop now

[20:39:40] <D4n> ... Jared.

[20:39:47] <Jared> WHAT

[20:39:48] <Oli> Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared ;D

[20:39:59] Aly thinks Jared is being unreasonable

[20:40:02] <Aly> :P

[20:40:04] <D4n> I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch your name... Jared isit?

[20:40:08] Jared leaves

----

[19:02:55] <Oli> Periods?

[19:03:05] <Georgia> :O

[19:03:13] <Oli> ...

[19:03:18] <D4n> Not quite the same thing, Oli. ;)

[19:03:23] <@Magrathea> Ahhhh, fair enough :)

[19:03:27] <Oli> D4n said it not me...

[19:03:34] <D4n> You lying bastard.

[19:03:37] <D4n> ;)

[19:03:37] <Oli> :P

[19:03:42] <@Magrathea> Stop hiding behind your boyfriend, Oli :P

[19:03:48] <D4n> OI.

[19:03:52] <Oli> No Homo Boyfriends though...

[19:04:01] <@Magrathea> pffft. I've known about you two for AGES.

[19:04:08] <Oli> Shush JIM

[19:04:10] <Jem8472> I know I have not been in chat recently but D4n now gay?

[19:04:15] <D4n> NO.

[19:04:18] <Oli> lol

[19:04:18] <D4n> No no no.

[19:04:20] <D4n> ARGGGGH

[19:04:21] <Jem8472> things move fast round here

[19:04:21] <Rowe> LOL. D4n. Gay.

[19:04:21] D4n has quit (Client exited).

[19:04:28] <Jem8472> radge quit?

[19:04:31] <Oli> Rage Quit!

[19:04:34] <@Magrathea> :P

----

[19:40] <Ogoid> OH. My. WARDLEY! O.O How have I never eaten BBQ Rib flavour Doritos until now?!?

[19:40] Ogoid noms furiously

[19:40] <Rowe> Are they gorgeous?

[19:40] <Rowe> TELL ME THEY'RE GORGEOUS!

[19:40] <Ogoid> It's like eating an orgasm.

----

[22:25] <Benedique> my womb is reserved for Craig Bates tbh

----
[22:53:30] <kamfira> i love the front

[22:53:40] <oldgitBEN> i love it at the back *giggles*

[22:53:41] Aly prefers the back

[22:53:45] <kamfira> but then i love to be jumped up on

[22:53:48] <Ogoid> you would, Aly

[22:53:48] <kamfira> well, this says it all

[22:53:49] Aly winks at Ben

[22:53:54] <Ogoid> brb

[22:54:01] <Aly> :P

[22:54:16] <Joelio> Hmm, Vez loves being jumped on

----

[20:38:06] <@Ian> I'm still here Vez :P

[20:38:15] <@Ian> (Not sure if that's a good thing)

[20:38:17] <kamfira> YAY

[20:38:19] <kamfira> lets get baby making

----

21:21 Ian Under where your arse was LOL!

21:21 Ian You were sat on it

----

22:55 <Joelio> fuck my pasty white skin :P

----

[23:18] <@Magrathea> Camelot Accident FTL :|

[23:18] <Sam> Oooh I need to do my hourly news check to see if that cunt has been killed yet

(NOTE: Sam was referring to Gadaffi)

----

[20:03] <Dagan> fist him :P

[20:03] <TowersFreak> ewwwww

[20:03] <Dagan> um.. wait...

[20:03] <@Chris> :o

[20:03] <Jonathan> No, Dagan. Just no.

[20:03] <TowersFreak> lmao

[20:04] <Joelio> LOL Dagan!

----

[23:49:18] <natalie> I still have boobs yes joelio

[23:49:25] <Joelio> I know you do Nat! :D

[23:49:32] <Jem8472> Joelio you are obessed with Boobs! :P

[23:49:34] <Jem8472> http://youtu.be/Q5OZCWaJBdc

[23:49:35] <Jem8472> WANT

[23:49:41] <Joelio> I mean err... you have boobs, haven't noticed?

[23:50:18] <natalie> haha lol I'll get em out for you one day when you grow up lol

[23:50:28] <@Chris> :O

[23:50:43] <Towers-Loaf> :O

[23:50:55] <Towers-Loaf> thinking about we were on the last public train that ever went round (the others being media, compitition winners and staff)

[23:50:57] <Jem8472> *listens for the scrabble of keyboards to get that quote on the wiki*

----

[21:47] <kamfira> OH FOR FUCKS SAKE STOP FUCKING TALKING ABOUT SHITECRAFT

[21:47] <DanB> I WILL IF YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT FUCKING HORSES ALL THE TIME!

----

[18:47] <Joelio> Nemesis theme is great to have an angry wank to...

----

[00:39] <Benedique> FUCKING ALTON TOWERS

[00:39] <Benedique> I've just been chewing on the fish shower gel from ATH and it's burst in my mouth

[00:39] <Benedique> all I can taste is nasty shower gel ... EURGHHHHHHHHHH

[00:40] <Joelio> was that practice for Saturday Dom? :P

[00:40] <Benedique> eurghhh I'm spitting bubbles and soap suds :'(

[00:40] <@Ian> Foaming at the mouth are we Dom?

----

[15:42:54] <Applejack> Yay!

[15:42:57] <Mike> tbh - looks-wise, there isnt mcuh difference between Applejack and this D4n guy I know....

[15:43:04] <Georgia> LOLOLOLOLOL.

[15:43:05] <Rarity> Mike do you have a problem with moi?

[15:43:12] <Applejack> I am D4n's twin.

[15:43:16] <Applejack> Neiiigghh.

[15:43:20] <Fluttershy> Applejack's a bitch though. :(

[15:43:25] <Applejack> :'(

[15:43:31] <Fluttershy> Jus' sayin'

[15:43:38] <Fluttershy> Applejack and Rainbow Dash ftl.

[15:43:46] <Fluttershy> Fluttershy and Pinkie <3

[15:43:51] <Rarity> OI.

[15:43:52] <Mike> Just figured out who is who :P

[15:43:55] <Applejack> Pinkie and Flutteryshy FTFL.

[15:43:56] <Rarity> What about me?

[15:44:07] Mike thinks AppleJack and Rarity should kiss and make up :P

[15:44:14] <Fluttershy> Flutteryshy? Piss off Applejack.

[15:44:14] Mike gets popcorn

[15:44:29] <Rarity> I, for one, am not a lesbian.

[15:44:34] <Mike> Kinky roleplaying isit now? :P

[15:44:36] <Applejack> Typo you noob.

[15:45:00] <Georgia> I think it is Mike...

[15:45:09] <Georgia> Applejack.... just.... go away.

[15:45:31] <Mike> Well, considering you're controlling him, thats not hard ;) :P

[15:45:39] <Rarity> Georgia would you like a makeover?

[15:45:52] <Georgia> Uhhmm... I'm not really a girly girl. :)

[15:46:02] <Fluttershy> Mike... how are you managing to control 3 accounts at once? :P

[15:46:07] <Rarity> You disappoint me

[15:46:10] <Mike> I m not ;P

[15:46:16] <Fluttershy> Clearly, you are.

[15:46:17] <Applejack> This is Mike.

[15:46:20] <Rarity> I'm not Mike

[15:46:23] <Applejack> I have taken Applejack hostage.

[15:46:35] <Fluttershy> You ARE Applejack...

[15:46:49] <Applejack> This is Mike currently typing, noob.

[15:46:51] <Mike> :P

[15:46:57] <Mike> It blatenty isnt ;)

[15:47:03] <Applejack> Yes it issss!

[15:47:12] <Georgia> Sorry Rarity:(

[15:47:16] <Mike> Applejack Username: georgiaa

[15:47:20] <Rarity> You should be :(

[15:47:25] <Mike> (from IRC's getinfo command :P )

[15:47:33] <Rarity> None of my pony friends are as glamorous as I.

[15:47:34] <Applejack> You lie.

[15:47:35] <Applejack> I lie!

[15:47:38] <Applejack> Muhhahahahaaaaa.

[15:47:39] <Rarity> And nor are you. :(

[15:48:07] <Georgia> :(

[15:48:24] <Applejack> I like to eat sprout milkshake.

[15:48:33] <Rarity> Hmm... perhaps I could tempt Mike?

[15:48:38] <Applejack> 'Cos Imma frickin pony.

[15:48:39] <Rarity> Gays like makeovers, yar?

[15:48:41] <Georgia> LOL yeah!

[15:48:52] <Fluttershy> :P

[15:49:34] <Rarity> I think I might have offended him.

[15:49:35] Mike hides

[15:49:40] <Rarity> How unfortunate.

[15:49:46] <Rarity> ... that said. I can't offend myself.

[15:49:58] Fluttershy is confused now. :P

[15:50:00] Applejack Licks Mike.

[15:50:07] <Fluttershy> Oh. Dear. God.

[15:50:08] <Mike> :O

[15:50:10] Applejack Tenderly.

[15:50:20] Mike could get used to this tbh

[15:50:25] <Mike> :P

[15:50:26] <Applejack> ;)

[15:50:29] <Georgia> :|

[15:50:40] <Rarity> I, unlike Applejack, have far too much decency to lick one.

[15:50:59] <Rarity> Disgusting habit

[15:51:03] Applejack Shats on Rarity for having too much decency.

[15:51:09] <Rarity> MY MANE!

[15:51:12] <Rarity> YOU BITCH!

[15:51:17] <Applejack> :):)

[15:51:28] Fluttershy notes that the last 15 minutes of chat has ALL been Wiki-worthy. :P

[15:51:41] <Applejack> HEY EVERYONE.

[15:51:46] <Applejack> :)

[15:51:52] <Rarity> Piss off yo' bitch.

[15:51:56] <Rarity> Stealing my screen-time.

[15:52:05] <Fluttershy> Rarity uses full-stops <3

[15:52:12] <Fluttershy> ... nice tactic there, Mike.

[15:52:19] <Fluttershy> ... make people think that it's me. :P

[15:52:20] Applejack Shoots out another load of shat for Rarity's mane.

[15:52:32] <Rarity> I shall not tolerate such behaviour.

[15:52:37] <Applejack> You just did.:)

[15:52:47] <Rarity> I shall report you to the appropriate authorities.

[15:52:50] <Applejack> :D

[15:53:07] <Rarity> You whore.

[15:53:10] <Applejack> ;)

[15:53:17] <Applejack> You luurrrvveee it really.

[15:53:38] <Rarity> I do not.

[15:53:46] <Applejack> You do.

[15:54:12] <Rarity> I shall not enter a fruitless debate in which I am arguing regarding my own opinion.

[15:54:16] <Rarity> I am aware of my opinion.

[15:54:19] <Rarity> You are not.

[15:54:34] Fluttershy chants "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

[15:55:10] Rarity has quit (Client exited).

[15:55:11] Applejack Can't really be bothered to figure out what Rarity just said, so pukes up a load of carrots.

[15:55:16] <Fluttershy> ^ Rage quit. :P

----

[01:31:59] Jem8472 pokes Joelios lifeless body with a stick

[01:32:17] <Jem8472> Nope dead

----

[01:45:31] <Jen> I'll get naked on webcam Joelio

[01:45:40] <Ogoid> pics or gtfo!

----

[23:47:30] <Scott> Wet t-shirt compy for Project Balloon

[23:47:38] <Ogoid> YES!

[23:47:38] <&Chris> I like this idea

[23:47:40] <Mike> ^^^tthis!

----

[20:09:32] Magrathea reappears at the mention of estrogen

----

[21:12] <D4n> ... shame Ian changed his username. 
[21:13] <Joel|Phone> Right 
[21:13] <Joel|Phone> Gwazi reopening 
[21:13] <Joel|Phone> So. Off again 
[21:13] <D4n> It's shit. 
[21:13] <Joel|Phone> Laters! 
[21:13] <D4n> ... but have fun! :P 
... 
[21:14] *** D4n has been kicked by Crabbe (You're shit tbh (Joel)) 

----

[16:31] <Georgia> Other ways to get kicked?

[16:31] <Georgia> Cunt

[16:31] <Georgia> Shit

[16:31] <Georgia> Fuck

[16:31] <Georgia> Bastard

[16:31] *** D4n joined #tt

[16:31] <Jonathan> Bollocks

[16:31] <D4n> ...

[16:31] <Jonathan> Oops...

[16:31] <Georgia> LOL

[16:31] <D4n> How rude!

----

22:40 AdamJames Hi Jordan

22:41 AdamJames Are you riding a virgin atm?

(after silly blabbering about MAP's)

22:43 Jordan||train The one I'm riding is rather slow and dirty tonight

----

[21:57] <Aly> I'm just a horny person Stu :P

----

[23:59] <Joelio> To me, sperm is like robinsons cordial.

----

[20:55] <Oli> I would clean sick from a platter of dog shit for money at the moment.

----

[23:20] <Aly> "You'll be gripping on the edge your seat as Aly's battering ram smashes down the door to Vazza Cazza"

----

[19:34] <Joelio> Crushes ftw, I have a crush on 'N' TSTers, where N is the number of female TSTers :) 
[19:34] <Jordan> JoelioCrushes = TSTMember.all.where('age >= 16 and gender = "female" ') 
[19:35] <Joelio> or in C#.. int crushes = TSTMembers.Females.Length; 
[19:37] <Joelio> Atleast my object is better designed tbh 
[19:37] <Sam> JohnHardingCrushes = TSTMember.all.where('name = "Sam" ') 
[19:37] <Joelio> I have KC in an enum... so she's type safe ;) 
[19:38] <herewegoagain> I'm reallllly confused

----

[20:57] <Jonathan> My flatmates just decided to tape a load of empty bin-bags over my door for some reason.

...

[20:57] <Joelio> because they're wankers Jon

[20:57] <Dar> LOL

[20:58] <Magrathea|Eating> That's a rubbish prank..

[20:58] <Magrathea|Eating> .

[20:58] <Dar> Joelio is just a big bag of dribbly shit

[20:58] <Magrathea|Eating> *haw haww*

[20:58] <Joelio> To teach them a lesson you should set fire to your room and die due to smoke inhilation

[20:58] <Dar> Laughing at your own pun James?

[20:58] <Joelio> (I don't want you to die, so do so at your own risk)

[20:58] <Dar> Not cool. Not cool duded

[20:58] <Magrathea|Eating> PRECISELY.

[20:58] <Jonathan> Or chunder outside their rooms.

[20:59] <Jonathan> Nah, that's taking things too far.

[20:59] <Bear> Shit in a biscuit tin and leave it outside their door

[20:59] <Dar> Shit outside their room

[20:59] <Joelio> Vomit in one of theirmouths while they sleep

[20:59] <Dar> or ^^^ that or ^that

[20:59] <Joelio> Shit in their slippers

[21:00] <Joelio> Crisp a thin shit into a laptop bag

[21:00] <towersfreak> shit in a paperbag and light it on fire so he has to stamp it out

[21:00] <towersfreak> lol

[21:00] <Jonathan> In my old school, someone once had a shit outside a classroom.

[21:00] <Dar> Jizz into their milk

[21:00] <Joelio> create a paper mache of each of them using used toilet roll

[21:00] <towersfreak> wipe ur bellend around rim of there drinking glases

[21:01] <towersfreak> the rim

[21:01] <Magrathea|Eating> Hehehe. Rim.

[21:01] <Dar> Jizz into their toothpaste (someone I know did this as a prank on their holiday to Ibiza)

[21:01] <Joelio> encase yourself into a wall cavity and eject your erect penis to use a surprise coat hanger upon their return from lectures tomorrow

[21:02] <towersfreak> eurghhhhhhhhhh

[21:02] *<Jonathan> is moving his mouse towards the Wiki...

[21:02] <Joelio> absorb their housekeys into your anus, via rapid decompression

...

[21:06] <towersfreak> clean bird shit of a car with there toothbrush and put it back

[21:06] <towersfreak> off

[21:07] <Joelio> shit a sticky log on the sofa arm, where the TV remote usually rests

[21:07] <Jonathan> There aren't any sofas in my flat, Joelio.

[21:07] <Joelio> shit in the houses supply of nutella

[21:08] <Joelio> deep fry some dogshit and hand them a bag of tasty 'Krispy Kremes'

[21:08] <Joelio> (dog shit is preferable due to consistency)

[21:09] <Joelio> drink a litre of chocolate milkshake next to some randomer, whilst shitting diarrhea into a urinal

[21:09] <Joelio> (to give the illusion of it passing straight through)

[21:11] <Joelio> likewise, sit on your shitter eating double chocolate carte d'or, whilst easing out standard 'uman logs

[21:11] *** MattH joined #tt

[21:11] <Joelio> and that concludes our shite ten minutes

----

[18:03] <MinteButtons> I have a photo of me with pony feet and hands. Your argument is invalid

[18:03] <MinteButtons> And doing an epic bro-hoof

...

[18:04] <MinteButtons> I mauled a pinata and put my feet in the feet

----

[00:44] <Scott> When staying at my gfs in 1st year, hers went off, I'd never heard it before, and in a deep sleep at 4am I took the batteries out of her alarm, lobbed it at her wall and was like "ITS STILL GOING OFF... WHYYYY?!"

----

[23:15] <Craig> sod all your coming out crap, try going back IN to your gran :P

[23:16] <Scott> what?

[23:16] <Aly> LMFAOO

[23:16] <Scott> you went in your gran?

[23:16] <Aly> That was the best time EVER :P

[23:16] <Vez> double entendre fail.

[23:16] <Scott> :p

[23:16] <Magrathea> Going IN?! :P

[23:16] <Scott> *fires up the wiki*

[23:16] <Aly> Wasn't that when I was at your bit Craig? :P

[23:16] <Vez> one for the wiki

[23:16] <Aly> Your Gran thought Dom was a male :P

----

<Dan77> just like Jonathan, hes a hoover only thing he needs to be good at is sucking....

----

[20:57] *** Joel quit (Quit: Dingdong. This Virgin is rough!)

----

[20:48] <Magrathea> I miss my breasts..

----

[21:56] <Joelio> thing about chocolate oranges is, I don't know whether to eat them, or to shove them up my ass

----

[00:47] <Jonathan> Stupid question, but why do TN hate us?

[00:47] <Joelio> Because we're dickheads?

----

[01:48] * Jem starts some new rumours

[01:48] <Longy> Too far

[01:49] <Jonathan> WTF, James?! :O

[01:49] <Magrathea> http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151109623020343&set=a.10150705301945343.711526.545100342&type=1&theater :P

[01:49] <Longy> Don't want to click

[01:49] <Longy> It doesn't work

[01:49] * PoisonTom96 stirs vigoursly jem's new rumours

[01:49] <Magrathea> Oh gawwwd, guys, it's nothing! :P

[01:49] <Jem> :P

[01:50] <Longy> :O

[01:50] <PoisonTom96> no worky what is it???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????

[01:50] <Magrathea> What are you vigorously doing to Jem? :P

[01:51] <Magrathea> It's nothing, it's just a photo

[01:51] * Longy feels insecure

[01:51] * Jem feels violated

[01:51] * PoisonTom96 disturbes Longy

[01:51] * Longy goes and cries in a corner

[01:51] * PoisonTom96 violates jem with a machete

[01:51] * Magrathea hides

[01:52] * Longy finds Magrathea

[01:52] * PoisonTom96 finds magrathea and longy and pervs on them both

[01:52] * Jem wonders why everyone is using this type of post

[01:52] * Longy legs it

[01:52] * Magrathea does NOT appreciate being perved on :(

[01:52] <Magrathea> I am a HETEROSEXUAL MALE.

[01:52] * Magrathea flounces out

[01:53] * Longy punches a wall

[01:53] * PoisonTom96 slaps MAG

[01:53] * Longy slaps PoisonTom96

[01:53] <Magrathea> Ow! :(

[01:53] * PoisonTom96 headbutts a sheep

[01:53] * Longy laughs

[01:53] * Magrathea hits PoisonTom96 with his handbag.

[01:53] * Jem lets of a low yeild nuclear weapon

[01:54] * Longy backs away

[01:54] * PoisonTom96 blows up Jem with a nuke

[01:54] <PoisonTom96> it's 2012 people it has begun

[01:54] * Longy believes that we all shall be dead

[01:55] * Magrathea hides behind Joelio

[01:55] * Longy locks everyone in a room and blows it up

[01:55] * PoisonTom96 sets many a chav on FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[01:55] * Longy looks towards Poisontom666

[01:56] * Jonathan notes that ALL of this is Wiki-worthy. :P

[01:56] * Longy was thinking the exact same thing

[01:56] * PoisonTom96 blows up every copy of Call Of Duty

[01:56] * Longy doesn't care

[01:56] * Jem delets the wiki

[01:56] * Longy creates the wiki

[01:56] * PoisonTom96 wants this on Wiki

[01:56] * Longy likes the wiki

[01:57] * PoisonTom96 nods at Longy approvingly

[01:57] * Longy nods back

[01:57] * Longy stares at the magical lava lamp which appears in the room

[01:58] <PoisonTom96> will anyone wiki this or not?

[01:58] <Jonathan> Right, I need to go to bed, and I frankly don't give a shit about the 60 second rule. I'm off.

[01:58] <Jem> night jonathan

[01:58] * Longy thinks Magrathea should wiki it

----

[00:22] <Benedique> Aahhh no worries, it's Friday night - he's probably out with 'the secret association of closet gays'. This week they are visiting a wardrobe factory so that they can all hide inside.

----

[01:06] <Joelio> Lol, only just realised that Craig is employed by Orange (his girlfriend :P)

[01:06] <Jonathan> LOL

[01:06] <Sammy> LOL

[01:06] <Chris> :P

[01:06] <PoisonTom96> LOL

[01:06] <Dan77> LOL

[01:06] <Craig> Everything Everywhere actually Joelio (your mother :P)

[01:07] <Joelio> OH LOL

----

[20:50] * Aly got distracted :P

[20:50] <Scott|afk> ;)

[20:50] *** Aly has left #tt

[20:50] <Joel> :P

[20:51] <Scott|afk> LOL

[20:51] * Joel giggles

[20:51] <Joel> I wonder if I can make him restart again

[20:51] <Chris> LOL

[20:51] *** Aly has joined #tt

[20:51] <Chris> Aly :(

[20:51] <Scott|afk> WTF Aly!

[20:51] <Aly> :'(

[20:51] * Joel stifles his tittering in the corner

[20:51] <Scott|afk> Just kick it tbh

[20:51] *** Aly has left #tt

[20:51] *** Aly has joined #tt

[20:52] <Chris> Aly, your internet is screwed

[20:52] <Aly> I think so lol

[20:52] *** Aly has left #tt

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[20:52] *** Aly has left #tt

[20:52] <Scott|afk> :p

[20:52] *** Aly has joined #tt

[20:52] <Jonathan> :P

[20:52] <Aly> Umm wow?

[20:52] <Aly> :P

[20:53] <Joel> Oooooohhhhh HOKEY COKEY!

[20:53] <Scott|afk> :p

[20:53] <Scott|afk> IN, OUT, IN, OUT...

[20:53] <Aly> Its like CHAT SEX!

[20:53] <Chris> :P

[20:53] <Joel> Oh jesus

[20:53] <Joel> I cant do it anymore.

[20:53] * Joel bawlks

[20:53] <Scott|afk> Tired?

[20:53] <Aly> lol

[20:54] <Aly> :P

[20:54] * Joel giggles at having fun with Aly

[20:54] <Aly> :'(

[20:54] <Aly> Your mean :P

----

[18:35] <Ian> It's not a real relationaship until one gives the other a cold tbh :P

[18:35] <Dagan> or herpes

----

[23:07] *** oldgitBEN has joined #tt

[23:07] <Vez> in, out, shake the cum about, you do hokey cokey and you decide your sexuality, thats what its all about,HEY

[23:07] <Magrathea> AHAHAH.

[23:07] <DormiensDave> Hell if he plays safe and is happy let him dip his wick

[23:07] <oldgitBEN> best opening line to join chat, ever!

[23:07] <oldgitBEN> thanks vez

----

[01:25] <Sammy> No matter how many times I offer a Blow job he just wont take it and demands money!

----

[01:19] <Magrathea> I'd sooner be a Ladyboy tbh

----

[22:27] <Joelio> If we're not getting drunk and having vast amount of casual sex at the Vane, then we're killing :')

----

[18:55] <Sammy> in other news, sounds like I may be bringing Quaisah to Towers at some point :p

[18:56] <Joelio> :|

[18:56] <Joelio> Whom?

[18:56] <~Joel> Whats one of them?

[18:56] <Joelio> Is that a type of Mexican dish?

[18:56] <Sammy> She is my new flat mate

----

[20:51] * Ian is now playing: The Naked And Famous - All Of This

[20:52] <Scott> HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT

[20:52] <Scott> xD

[20:52] <Aly> mIRC :P

[20:52] <Ian> mIRC script :P

[20:52] <Ian> Joel put it in for me :P

[20:53] <Scott> Giggidy

[20:53] <Scott> :p

[20:53] <Magrathea> AHAHAAHAHa

----

[21:00] *** PT has joined #tt

[21:00] <Georgia> PT YOU SHIT GARGLING FUCK NUGGET.

[21:00] <Georgia> :)

[21:00] <Scott> Well timed Georgia

[21:00] <Magrathea> :D <3

[21:00] <PT> Georgia YOU GOATS DANGLER :P

[21:00] <Jonathan> Brilliant timing, Georgia! :D

[21:01] <Ian> LMFAO Georgia :P

----

[21:39] <Aly> and that my gran bums me :P

[21:39] <JamesDLD> omg

[21:39] <Aly> not actual bums :P

[21:39] <Adz> with a strap on?

[21:39] <Scott> LOLLLLL

[21:39] <Aly> bums as in loves me to bits :P

----

[21:29] Joel sleeps with a oven glove on his knob to stop getting burnt!

[21:29] <Scott> LOL

[21:29] <Aly> You can get oven gloves that small?

----

[00:30] <Joel> ALEXANDER MCINULTY

[00:30] <Joel> MY OFFICE, NOW

[00:30] <Aly> Yes Sir! :(

[00:30] * Joel slams the door shut

[00:30] <Aly> :|

[00:30] * Aly gulps

[00:31] * Joel <fierce shouting>

[00:31] * Aly <screaming>

[00:31] * Joel <slams fist on desk>

[00:31] * Joelio #include <iostream>

[00:32] * Aly <smashes picture>

[00:32] * jem8472 puts a glass up to the door

[00:32] <Joel> ... AND DONT YOU DAREEEE EVER LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT AGAIN! ....

[00:32] * Joel flings door open of office

[00:33] * Aly storms out shouting at Joel

[00:33] * jem8472 whistles

[00:33] * Aly storms back in Joel's office

[00:34] * Aly shouts "AND ANOTHER THING. THE DRIVERS DINNAE NEED FUCKING DONUTS TAE SIT OAN!"

[00:34] <jem8472> :P

[00:35] <jem8472> There never is a dull moment on TST :P

[00:35] * Aly pushes Joels computer off the desk

[00:35] * Aly "Don't you fucking DARE look at that thing when I'm speaking to you!"

[00:36] * Joel bitch slaps Aly

[00:36] * Aly claws Joels FACE!

[00:36] * Ian cowers in the corner

[00:36] <jem8472> anyone want popcorn?

[00:37] * Ian hurls the odd piece of stationary, such as the hole punch and stapler, at Aly

[00:37] <Ian> Leave him alone! :(

[00:37] * Aly locks Ian in the stationary cupboard

[00:38] <Joel> OY!

[00:38] * Ian entertains himself with the pack of extra large marker pens

[00:38] <jem8472> :P

[00:38] <Joel> Its ok, its the Alton Towers Trips stationary cupboard ;)

[00:38] <Joel> Go wild Ian :P

[00:38] * Joel scowls at Aly

----

02:10 <MeatPie>: http://prntscr.com/l9xcs

02:11 <MeatPie>: Sly? Damn... I was trying to be blatant!

02:11 <Craig>: the builder was a lovely touch

02:11 <Thomas>: OH MY FUCK LOL

02:11 <Thomas>: THAT is funnny

02:11 <Jem>: LOL

02:11 <Jem>: thats fucking awesome

----

Rumba Rapids

2012-12-22T00:31:00Z

Alexander:

[[File:Rumbarapids1.jpg|300px|thumb|left|Don't be fooled. It really is that bad.]]Rumba Rapids is an [[Intamin]] river rapi...ahem, river ride at [[Thorpe Park]] that Ribena soiled in 2002. Taking a dump on rides isn't what you'd associate with the makers of such a tasty drink, but heh, that's Thorpe for you. Fortunately the deal ended in 2007, but Ribena couldn't be arsed to reclaim their crappy theming or corporate image after the chavs had done their worst to it. The ride is therefore probably much the same now as it was under sponsorship, i.e. still sh*t.

== Ride experience ==
The fun of a rapids ride comes not from actually getting wet, which can be pretty unpleasant, but from the potential for getting wet. Unfortunately, unlike [[Congo_River_Rapids|Congo River Rapids]] at [[Alton Towers]] (which gets the fun-to-wetness balance more or less right), Rumba Rapids can barely muster a wave that'll make your boat rock, let alone chuck some water up at you. The result is that the entire ride is a complete snorefest from start to fini...hang on, what's that? Oh nooooooooo!

So that visitors to <nowiki>Thorpe Park</nowiki> that actually wasted time queueing for RR can retain at least trace quantities of dignity in front of friends that rerode [[Nemesis Inferno|Inferno]] instead, it seems it was decided that some way of compensating for the ride's inherent lack of wetness was needed. Yep, you guessed it, there's a sodding water cannon before the lift back towards the turntable. This isn't fun, and is unacceptable wetness, for three reasons:

1. You're more or less guaranteed to get wet. There's virtually no chance of you looking like you're in for a soaking, then escaping, so it's not remotely fun.

2. The rest of the ride is so dull that it doesn't feel worth getting wet for.

3. You're at <nowiki>Thorpe Park</nowiki>, what were you THINKING when deciding to ride [[Chav|chav]] rapids?!

== Music ==
As TVTropes say, your mileage may vary, but to some enthusiasts, RR's soundtrack is its saving grace. It has occasionally been argued that, almost like [[The Ultimate]] and The Pirate Of [[Sharkbait_Reef|Sharkbait Reef]], it's so bad it's good. The tune, while horrifically cheesy, is an undeniable ear worm, though not to the extent of [[Toyland_Tours|Toyland Tours]]'s music. Some members of TST actually dance in the queueline because it's the only thing worth doing, on a pretty worthless ride. At least some people make the effort to be entertaining!

[[Category: Ride]]

Faff

2012-12-22T00:30:52Z

Alexander:

Faff is the enemy.

'''DO NOT''' give in to the faff!

Resist its evil, terrifying ways!

It will be the end of us all...

ALL OF US I TELL YOU!

Oh the humanity of meets, driven down by standing around, having conversations AND NOT '''RIDING''' ANYTHING!

And apparantly in an attempt to counter faff, some [[TST Meets|TST meets]] have a dedicated [[anti-faff]] patrol who only occasionally appear. Yeah. 'Dedication'.

A whole website is dedicated to Faff, view information about it here:[[Faffbook|Faffbook]]

== Faff External Link Of Evidence That Faff Truly Exists Within This Link And Beyond The Internet... Link ==

More information on the theory of faff can be found in this [http://www.coasterforce.com/Display_Article/article/38 Coasterforce article]

Laser Raiders

2012-12-22T00:30:39Z

Alexander:

Located in [[Legoland|LEGOLAND]]® Windsor, ''Laser Raiders'' is the best dark ride in the world, bar none, according to some TST members.

It surpasses the likes of ''[[Duel|Duel]]'' at [[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]], or ''[[Tomb_Blaster|Tomb Blaster]]'' at [[Chessington_World_of_Adventures|Chessington World of Adventures]] - it's awesomeness really cannot be understated. The fact that the queueline-within-a-queueline system is fundamentally flawed, and often takes in excess of two hours, is immaterial, as is the high visibility of every piece of non-scenery in the ride, and the huge laser beams created by the hair-dryer-like [[Guns|guns]] - it's ''interactive'', and that's all that matters.

[[Category: ride]]

TST Chat

2012-12-17T04:32:37Z

Alexander: moved TTF Chat to TST Chat

Chat is another page on [[TowersTimes|TowersTimes]] for members and guests to interact through the use of internet instant messaging, used for these sole purposes: Chat, slam, annoy, tease and posting random rubbish. The chatroom is a regular buyer in [[Canned_Laughter|Canned Laughter]] as well as [[Tumbleweed]], both being part of the regular Chat routine if particular members are being failures at jokes or the room is just too quiet.

It was installed in the 1800s after the moderators and administrators of the TTF found that a <s>large</s> small proportion of members couldn't be bothered out of laziness to actually post IN the forums themselves. This included some of the moderators and administrators too.

TTF Chat is admittedly responsible for the jokes: [[Splat]], [[Where's Waldey?]] and [[VAN]], the latter of which was caused by a certain drunken Admin. There are more jokes around but these are the only ones bothered enough to appear so far.

TTF Chat ranges, when you appear in the room, between mere childishness and absolute immaturity and very rarely hitting the serious. Although when it comes to that level, some member has to say something very immature to bring back Chat into its normal levels.

Who knows what'll happen if there is a serious Chat session for more than a hour, maybe the world will spontaenously combust? Or [[Mack]] will cease to exist? Will [[John Wardley]] be turned into a lady and spend more time fussing over what shoes to wear on-park? Or perhaps [[Thorpe Park]] will be loved and admired by all?

Oh... the horrible possibilities are endless! Oh the humanity!

In order to be more 'savvy' and understandable with [[TowersTimes|TowersTimes]] members who stay within the realms of Chat and speak utter things you wouldn't understand, then please direct yourself to the [[GeNeDo Diagram]], which sums up the demographic of members.

== Moderation ==

TT Chat is overlooked by one, or several admins, who seem to permanently live there, and one or more bots - the most recent being [[John Wardley]] in robot form. Chat can get quite lively on a Friday or Saturday night so the [[ban stick]] - whilst an uncommon sight - does come out from time to time to provide some anal probing.

== Special Events ==

Every now and then TTF Chat will be graced by special events. A common, and highly popular one is radio, which may rear its head at any given time to provide chat with a bit of ambient music. To spot upcoming events like radio simply watch for the [http://prntscr.com/1mm5a banner] at the top of the forums.

== Epic Quotez ==
[04:25] Craig: all nighter tbh

[04:25] Sammy: SHUT UP BATES

[04:26] Sammy: NO

[04:26] Craig: ive got 3 hours sleep, then meeting tiff for lunch, then driving to dom's

[04:26] Sammy: NO WAY IN HELL

[04:26] Craig: ALL NIGHTER!

[04:26] Craig: DO IT!

[04:26] Sammy: NO

[04:26] Sammy: FUCK OFFF

[04:26] Craig: WUSS

[04:26] Sammy: TOMORROW

[04:26] Craig: IM NOT UP TOMORROW

[04:26] Sammy: WELL

[04:26] Sammy: YOU ARE SHIT

[04:27] Sammy: JUST COS YOU WILL BE GETTING FUCKED

----

[01:42] <Joelio> i'm a bit of a nob
----

[22:47] Diogo: after a hard days riding you need a proper bed

----

[22:14] DannyJ: had swim in my mates poo today

----

Kamfira: I can go to very far lengths!

----

[22:37] * Vezza gets on her knees

----

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_III> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_I> lets see how this works out

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_II> lets see how this works out

[01:16] <Joel_I> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_III> lets see how this works out

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_II> lets see how this works out

[01:16] <Joel_III> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_I> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_I> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_I> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

----

[01:30] <DannyJ> why doesnt [[Nemesis|nemesis]] fall of its track ?

----

[09:45] <Joel> It's all foookin Bill's fault.

----

[22:25] <Rowe> Seriously, no female will want Joelio-repellant

----

[23:44] <DannyJ> can i bee the lanky suport slaper ?

----

[21:52] Rowe: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.

[21:53] michael: Why Rowe?

[21:53] Rowe: Joelio's in the roooooooooooooooooooom!

[21:53] Mitch: Well... there's round 2 of "Strangest things to hear on joining [[TT|TT]] Chat"

----

[21:05] ''Dorsia left the chat room.''

[21:05] Joelio: Hey Dorsia

[21:05] Joelio: Oh shit

[21:05] Air_Dan: SHE JUST LEFT KNOBHEAD.

[21:05] Air_Dan: That is all.

----

[23:41] Craig: half price virgin ftw :P

----

[23:34] <zs_chris> you obviously do not understand the complications of the aviation industry.

[23:34] <zs_chris> I could be a vital part of my job.

[23:34] <zs_chris> it*

[23:35] <Joelio> Lol, I think you're the most vital part of your job

----

[23:38] * Ogoid|drunk|cooking|NOM is scared by the quantity of tequila and Vodka he has consumed in the past week

----

[23:58] <Noraa> this chaT HAS TURNED INTO A ZYLOS/KHLORY FLIRTING SESH WITH JOELIO TRYING TO JOIN IN - THREESOMEEEEEEEEEE AND DANNYJ TALKING ABOUT RANDOM SHITE.

----

[00:36] <Aly> "Oh wardley wardley, how was I supposed to know. That [[Th13teen|Th13teen]] was a kids ride. Someone from the marketing team told me. It was was a thril seekers ride wardley, thats why I marketed it so" *
* To the tune of "Hit my baby one more time"

----

[23:49] <Rowe> I could go at it in bed for hours

[00:28] <Rowe> Glomping me will only prolong your time in bed

----

[00:21] * Sasquatch DOESN'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.

----

[21:41] <Rowe> "Chris is an amazing lover and nearly godlike at sex... oh and he was a good temp admin too."

----

[22:48] <Sasquatch> How's this for a topic: 101 things we love about Rowe

----

[23:23] <Parrybo> Rowe's cool... I want one

----

[01:44] <Parrybo> i might knock one off then go to bed

[01:45] * Joely ears prick up

[01:45] <Ogoid> lol

[01:45] <Parrybo> ewww

[01:45] <Parrybo> that made me feel dirty

----

[20:23] <Joely> Bet some PHP cunt made it like EST or something

[20:23] <Chris_> The function expects to be given a string containing a US English date format and will try to parse that format into a Unix timestamp

[20:24] <Aly> I love it when you two talk dirty :P

----

[20:08] <Joely> Condoms, lube and 3 cucumbers.

----

[21:24] <Sasquatch> Cheese you sexy beast!

----

[21:55] <Sasquatch> Aly, you sexy beast!

----

[21:53] <Noraa> oh, Aly_ WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU, BASTARDING CUNT!

----

[19:10] <Rowe> Just go for it!

[19:10] <Islander> Hmm.

[19:10] <Islander> Do you, Chris_, accept Rowe to be your (probably) unlawful wedded wife_?

[19:10] <Chris_> yesh

[19:10] <Islander> kthnx

[19:11] <Islander> Rowe, d'you take dis man to be da same???????????????

[19:11] <Rowe> Yeeeees!

[19:11] <Islander> Innit bruv!

[19:11] <Islander> I now pronownce youz husband_ and wife_!

[19:11] <Chris_> yays

[19:11] - Rowe changes nick to Rowe_

[19:11] <Islander> You may snog the bride :)

[19:11] * Chris_ snogz the bride

[19:11] <Islander> Please go here, and pretend your names are Joan and Dave:

[19:11] <Islander> http://webspace.webring.com/people/cu/um_3734/wedding.htm

[19:12] <Islander> Ensure sound is on.

[19:12] <Chris_> wow at that website

[19:12] * Rowe_ enjoys the snogz and wraps her arms around Chris_' neck.

----

[20:29] <Islander> We really need two chat rooms... a TTF chat room, and a clean version...

----

[22:57] <Vez> wow craig :D

[22:59] <Craig> yeah im done now :P

[23:02] <Craig> did someone hear?

----

[01:43] <Sasquatch> We can make love, yes?

[01:43] * BrettS passes chris a towel

[01:43] <DannyJ> ok Sasquatch

----

[18:48] <D4n> Evening Joely, Joelio & Rowe :)

[18:49] <Rowe_> Oh and you're not going to say hello to X, Jupiter or Shent? That's very thoughtful of you!

[18:50] <D4n> I'll say hello to Jupiter & Shent, I dislike X though, so think I shall ignore him. :)

[18:50] * X shifts eyes on D4n

[18:51] <D4n> ... wha... wha... :o

----

[20:54] <Rowe_> Ooof Chris_, this advantage of power is getting me hot tbh

----

[21:20] <D4n> Lucky? I'd love to get kicked out of this Hell hole ;)

[21:20] <Rowe_> Yet you always come back

[21:21] <D4n> That's... true...

[21:21] <Rowe_> Lawl [[Fail|fail]]

[21:21] * D4n 's argument falls flat on it's face

----

[20:06] * D4n was kicked by Wardley

----

[23:33] * Chris_ lieks boobs

[23:33] * Rowe_ has boobs

----

[00:29] <Chris_> Is it me, or is the text on chat kinda blurry this evening>

[00:29] <Rowe_> Just you, sweetie.

[00:29] <Chris_> I find it difficult to read

----

[21:47] <Aly> !bumme

[21:47] * Joel winks at Aly

[21:47] <Joel> I'm not that much of a tart, Aly - at least give it a few minutes!

[21:47] * Joel loads up the Travelodge website, and books a room near Aly

[21:47] * Joel packs the broom handle and KY Jelly, and sets out in his car....

[21:47] <Aly> :P

[21:47] <Joel> RUN Aly !! ;)

----

[23:52] * Ogoid wants pussy

----

[01:14] <Bote> But you'd have a water pipe up your arse

----
[19:10] *** Jem8472 has joined #tt

[19:10] <Diogo> Arrr!

[19:10] *** Jem8472 has quit (Quit: www.towerstimesforum.co.uk)

[19:10] <Diogo> arrr :(

[19:10] *** Jem8472 has joined #tt

[19:11] <Diogo> Arrr!

[19:11] <Jem8472> Hello!

[19:11] *** Aly has joined #tt

[19:11] <Diogo> arrr :(

----

[22:19] <Chris_> I dont want to have sex with you aly!

----

[23:20] <Michael> I won't be on for the rest of the night! :)

----

[19:32] <Chris_> GLEE <3

[19:32] <Mike> 'Glee FTFW

[19:32] <Aly> POOF

[19:32] <Aly> EVEN BIGGER POOF!

----

[21:51] <Zamperlas_Bitch> (aka Michael) Let's be honest, D4n's a sexy beast. :P

----

[20:45] <Chris> omg my life sucks

[20:45] <Chris> I hate you all

----

[20:53] <Rowe> It's up to John to reveal what his editing weapon is, not me.

----
[23:12] <Michael> *' **I don't [/anal]

[23:14] <Islander> You don't anal? Huh?

----

[01:02] <MattH> i want lees babies tbh

[01:02] <Chris> I thought you were straight?

[01:02] <MattH> well, only when im sober

----

[22:32] <@Chris> I presume you and dave had the same issue? :P

[22:32] <Rowe> Yup.

[22:32] <Rowe> We just didn't know how to do it...

----

[19:42] <Bote> "Are you ready weeds? Start tumblin'!"

[19:42] <SasqWatch> ^ lol

[19:42] <Bote> These weeds are made for tumblin'. And that's just what they'll do.

[19:42] <Bote> One of these days these weeds are guna tumble all over you

[19:43] <Bote> ba da da da da da da

----

(Chris takes a look at Grindr)

[21:50] <Aly> why did you open it? :P

[21:51] * Ian knows Chris secretly bookmarked it

[21:51] * Aly pulls Chris out the closet :p

[21:51] <Chris> I wanted to see what their website was like!

[21:51] <Aly> full of gays? :P

[21:52] <Chris> its yellow ;)

----

[22:02] <Chris> This chat needs more boobs

----

[22:22] <Jordan> So... who's voting Ultimate then? :P

[22:22] <Chris> not me...

[22:22] <Jordan> Why not Chris?

[22:22] <Chris> Because I dont rate it

[22:23] <Chris> I find it painful, dangerous and poorly designed

[22:23] <Chris> it also has no theming :P

[22:23] <Jordan> :P

[22:23] <ILoveLWV> I find YOU painful, dangerous and poorly designed >_>

----

[20:29] Aly: nope, I'm a gay!

[20:30] Aly: its true. honest!

[20:30] • Aly bums Chris as proof

[20:30] Chris: :|

[20:30] Jordan: Tut tut! :P

[20:30] Rowie: Chris.

[20:31] Rowie: Invest in a chastity belt for Opening Meet.

----

[02:04] <Chris> Hey everyone, Joel is making me do work at 2am. Sympathy plox

[02:04] <Joel> !k Chris Get on with it.

[02:04] *** Chris has been kicked by X (Get on with it.)

----

[23:02] <Islander> I think Rowe just killed Dave.

[23:02] <Rowe> That was Dave's fault tbh.

----

[22:28] <Craig> aly wouldnt come out of his mother's vagina until a light up set of stairs were placed there and he was able to mince down with a feather boa on

----

[23:03] <DormiensDave> i'm 26, thats almost pension age in TTF

[23:04] <Aly> noo to colours :P

[23:04] <Ogoid> OI!

[23:04] <Aly> Pension Age?

[23:04] <DormiensDave> and if anyone tels Badger i said that i will kill them

[23:04] <Aly> You practically DEAD and BURIED to most TTF'ers

----
[21:01] <Jem8472> Hellllllo!

[21:01] <Squashwatch> How the fucking gypsy cunt are you?

[21:01] <zs_chris> shit, bugger, arsehole, piss, cock, fart.

[21:01] <Ogoid> Flange!

----
[21:27] <Ogiod> call that big?

[21:27] <Aly> well it is for the virgins ;)

[21:27] <Ogiod> I'm 8' mate ;)

----

[19:19] <Ian> I love joels cock.

[19:19] <Ian> end of.

----

[19:26] <Ian> Ooooh :P

[19:26] <Ian> I'll give you £20 to take me Michael ;)

----

[20:03] * Aly gags Ian!

[20:04] <Ian> Kinky ;)

[20:04] <Aly> whats kinky about gagging you Ian!: PO

[20:04] <Aly> Filthy Boy!

[20:04] <Ian> Maybe I'm into that sort of thing Aly

[20:04] <Aly> :O

[20:05] * Aly backs away slowly from Ian!

[20:05] <Aly> Whatever flots yer Bote

----

[20:30] <Joel> If it involves my arse, then yes :P

----

[22:46] * Benedique left the chat room. (Quit: takeaway timeeeeeeee)

[22:46] <Joelio> <pervy comment towards dom>

----

[22:36] <SAM93> And Aly... You can fuck me if you wish... Not too fussed tbh

----

[23:18] <Jem8472> ummmm cheese and biscuits FTW!

[23:18] <Magrathea> Since when has Rowe been "biscuits"? :P

----

[20:37] <Benedique> net split?

[20:37] <Sasquatch> Lamesplit!!

[20:37] <Magrathea> FROGSPLIT!

[20:37] <Michael> net split :D

[20:37] <Sasquatch> sad faaaaace!!

----

[20:54] <Chris> Disney, Disney, Disney. *faps*

----

[17:19] <@Ian> Hey Joel :D

[17:19] <~Joel> Hello!

[17:21] <@Ian> So what's shakin' then?

[17:22] * ~Joel thinks about this one

[17:22] <~Joel> Japan?

----

[23:04] <Aly> gets me WELL horny ;)

[23:04] <Joel> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

----

[21:20] * Chris also gives aly one...

[21:20] <Chris> Aly <3

----

[20:51] * Joel wants to see Chris hunt the prey, Hollie, down in a true Scouse fashion

[20:52] * Chris turns on the legendary scouse/wilsy charm

----

[00:10] <Joelio> Ellie: Have you ever propped up your bedsheets with your c**k to read a book at night?

----

[21:14] <nickdaegg> But I don't want to leave my car in the Vane car park if it means that someone's going to fervently rub their crotch on it

----

[23:15] <Chris> #and the world spins round and round

[23:15] <Chris> *earth

[23:15] <Ian> :P

[23:15] <Chris> actually Ive forgot the words

----

[01:46] * Bear grabs Dar and shakes his * violently

[01:46] <Bear> ...

[01:46] <Bear> ...

[01:47] <Bear> *Hand

[01:47] <Dar> :O

[01:47] <Dar> There was a moment that I panicked tbh!

----

[21:33:38] <Benedique> Guys who can sing and play instruments capture my heart instantly

[21:33:50] Craig can play an epic triangle

----

[21:28] <Dar> Jesus 'Chris't, it wasn't a pun. Frankly I'm s'Martin'g from the 'Dar't of meanness that you shot towards me. It's un'Bear'able.

----

[21:22] <D4n> There's also something catchy about - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcy6e8qM9U4 ;)

[21:23] <Dar> There's something catchy about the clap.

[21:23] <Dar> Moral: Not all catchy things are good

----

[19:04] <Magrathea> You can spot my crotch at some points but that's about it.

[19:05] <D4n> Ooooh... yipee!

[19:05] <Magrathea> Sex sells.

[19:07] <D4n> Indeed. I'm enjoying viewing your crotch so much that I only have one hand free to write this comment. ;)

[19:07] Magrathea runs. Far far away.

[19:09] <D4n> Although... working on the "sex sells" basis... surely Rowe should have been scripted to say "I'm weeeet" rather than "I'm soaaaaaaked"... yar?

[19:10] <Magrathea> She does later say "I'm wet on camera.."

[19:10] <D4n> Niiice. :P

----

[02:06] * MattH remembers... Fleety is only a friend, and will stay that way, but she IS HAWT!

----

[21:57] <Ogoid> basicly, TTF's just one big gang bang, isnt it?

----

[21:35] <D4n> I wouldn't recommend riding Joelio tbh.

----

[22:36] <@Crofty> take your boobs with you please. xx

[22:36] <Ellie> i will :)

[22:36] Ellie has quit (Quit: www.towerstimesforum.co.uk).

[22:36] <Joelio> Lol

[22:37] <Joelio> Her Norks are Corkers tbh

[22:37] <Joelio> :)

----

[02:44] <Ogoid> its not a 90s dance tune without the following : 1) random keyboard middle 8 that bears no relation the the rest of the song, and 2) a video filmed at a fun fair! :P

----

[19:03] <Joel|DotCom> Raggghhhh

[19:03] <Joel|DotCom> Time to give arms a work out

----

[02:22:57] Joelio slips a shit out, like an artilery piece would eject a shell.

[02:23:10] <@Craig> how errr lovely

[02:23:21] <Joelio> :P

[02:23:34] <Joelio> Its very romantic Craig, tbh.

[02:23:38] <@Craig> im sure it is

[02:24:45] <Joelio> I won't oversell it tbh, its just shit slipping out of a shaft like a bob skeleton sportsman would slip and slide around a luge track.

----

[23:20] <James> Argh! I just creamed so loudly.

[23:20] <James> :O

[23:20] <James> *screamed

[23:20] <Rowe> LOL

[23:20] <James> SCREAMED.

----

[22:56] <Magrathea> That's MY crotch being violated!

----

[22:13:37] <Joelio> No idea Mike, i'm sat at home bollock naked, wanking like a monkey

----

[22:56:14] Rowe has quit (Quit: *Disappears in a flash of purple smoke, complete with lightning sound effects, the flutter of bats and Dave's evil laughter in the background.).

----

[20:50] <Jordan> SamWan, are you the woman in the relationship then? :P

[20:50] <SamWan> Nope....

[20:50] <Sam> I can't imagine Sam being a top

[20:50] <Sam> No offence...

[20:51] <SamWan> Stfu Sam

[20:51] <SamWan> I can be a top all I like!!!

[20:51] <Sam> Lol actually I guess you have to be top with R Tuggers

[20:51] <Jared> Wait, explain the term "Top" for me in this sense?

[20:52] <Sam> If it was the other way round you'd be all "...is it in yet? I can't feel it..."

----

[10:48] <Mike> .....basically thats how wet TTF trolls get when they come into contact with me ;) :P

[10:48] <D4n> You realise how dirty that sounds, right? :P

[10:49] <Mike> thankfully, not many people are here to see it :P

[10:49] <D4n> Wiki tbh.

[10:49] <Mike> You wouldnt dare xD

----

[00:46] *** Rowe quit (Quit: *Sets off two massive glitter cannons, a group of rainbow gels with a drumroll and exits promptly via trap door* Didn't want to make a big deal out of leaving, bye all!)

----

[02:40] <JohnWan> Sam, I think you're BARKING up the wrong tree

[02:41] <JohnWan> Sam, you're making a PAW effort at a comeback.

[02:42] <Joelio> John, you're being un-FUR

[02:42] <Ogoid> I'm sure you will COLLAR yourself a man soon enough Sam ;)

[02:42] <Chris> this is turning into an interesting TAIL

[02:42] <JohnWan> Just don't LEAD anyone on.

[02:43] <Aly> I'm sure Sam will VET the new men accordingly ;)

[02:44] <Aly> perhaps Sam wants 101 dominations?

[02:45] <Jordan> Aly, I think Sam wants to give you a good HOUNDing ;-)

[02:46] <Joelio> Lets put a HALTER on Johns shit puns.

[02:46] <Benedique> Can we all stop SNIFFING around the issue here please.

[02:49] <Jordan> Go FETCH the wiki page someone

----

[21:12] <Ogoid> Urgh, why do young teen girls have to SCREAM so much???

----

[04:29] <Joelio> for my half 4 wank Craig, it'll be YOU today, not dom

----

<nowiki>[23:29:36] <~Joel> "Location of vehicle: ___ LOWER BITTEL RESEVOIR (in the water) ___"</nowiki>

<nowiki>[23:30:35] <~Joel> "Sketch the accident: ~~~~~~~~[ Tesco.com ]D~~~~~~~~</nowiki>

<nowiki>[23:30:43] <~Joel> ~ = water</nowiki>

----

[00:53] <Craig> stu wouldn't know subtlety if it came up and anally raped him

----

[20:15:38] <Martin> "Look at those boobs" "Forget those, look at Nemie's new wheels!"

[20:15:44] <Magrathea> ^this

[20:15:57] <Magrathea> Wheels <3

[20:15:58] Magrathea has quit (Quit: Magrathea).

[20:16:13] <@Chris> ^ he got too excited about the wheels

----

[02:04:00] <AdamJames> I'm as straight as a lamppost.

[02:04:05] <AdamJames> I think that just about covers it.

[02:04:13] <Dan77> what happeds if a car crashes in to it though?

----

[20:48] <Jared> Who wants to see Rowe's bum? Haha

[20:47] • Ogoid throws his head back and emits a dirty laugh

[20:48] <Joelio> Rowe's bum ftw

----

[23:47] <SAM93> Craig is fat and old!!!

----

[00:42:50] DannyJ cums ove the RR summer release

[00:43:11] <StevieHunter> has the CT out yet?

[00:43:43] <towersfreak> stop speaking in acronims

[00:44:48] <towersfreak> brb

----

[00:52] <Joelio> Dom doesn't know what she's let herself into

[00:52] <Dar> last two words are the wrong way round Joelio

----

[20:57:00] <Hello> FUCK THIS ALTON TOWERS IS THE BIGGEST PIECE OF SHIT ON EARTH WHY ARE YOU SAD ENOUGH TO BE ON A FORUM ABOUT IT

----

[02:16] <Rowe> Sex music comes on.

----

[21:10] <Hark> Who got fingered?

[21:10] <Ian> Eww

[21:10] <Craig> oh god yeah!

----

[22:17] <DormiensDave> Is the Ellie in here big breasted small blond ellie or big breasted violent tall ellie?

----

Drunken gibberish postings by Dom & Aly

[01:38:13] <DominiqueAndAly> y46u

[01:38:14] <DominiqueAndAly> i76

[01:38:15] <DominiqueAndAly> 65

[01:38:16] <DominiqueAndAly> t

[01:38:17] <DominiqueAndAly> i

[01:38:18] <DominiqueAndAly> y5

[01:38:19] <DominiqueAndAly> yu

[01:38:20] <Joelio> We could probably summarise it

'''removed 8 posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:38:28] <Jem8472> nahhhhh

'''removed 8 more posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:38:36] <Jem8472> post the whole mental rambling

'''removed yet another 8 posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:38:44] <Jem8472> anyway what happened to the flood kick thing?

[01:38:44] <DominiqueAndAly> jj

[01:38:45] <Joelio> DominiqueAndAly: <various drunk tyipngs>

'''this time 11 posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:38:56] <Joelio> no idea, but I wish it was back

[01:38:56] <DominiqueAndAly> trh

[01:38:57] <DominiqueAndAly> tt

[01:38:58] <DominiqueAndAly> hy

[01:38:59] <Jem8472> but would not be as funny as this TBH

'''this time 18 posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:39:17] DominiqueAndAly has quit (Excess Flood).

[01:39:19] <Jem8472> Maybe we should bill them for wasting chat space

[01:39:23] DominiqueAndAly joined the channel.

[01:39:23] <Jem8472> about fooking time

[01:39:27] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:27] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:27] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:27] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:28] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:28] <Joelio> LOL

'''removed lots of shit posting by DominiqueAndAly something along the lines of:'''

[01:39:28] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:28] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:40:54] DominiqueAndAly is now known as Craih.

[01:40:59] <Craih> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:40:59] <Joelio> my ego side enjoys Dom calling my name :P

'''5 minuets of Authentic Frontier Gibberish removed'''

[01:45:46] Craih is now known as Craig.

[01:45:50] <Craig> lol

[01:45:51] <Craig> :P

[01:45:52] Craig is now known as lol.

[01:45:58] <lol> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:45:58] <lol> hh

[01:50:40] <Joelio> :)

[01:55:44] <lol> God damn it I'v e forgoet craigs password in my drunken state

[01:57:31] <Joelio> his password is

[01:57:39] <Joelio> "CockFan99"

[01:58:40] <Joelio> due to his love of cock.

[01:58:57] <Joelio> Its a bit obvious though as he's quite gay

----

<kamfira> id offer nick varney one tbh
(The above was obviously said in relation to MAPs

----

[20:39:22] <Jared> Geez. Stop typing my name... I'm trying to transfer 1TB of photos atm...

[20:39:32] <D4n> Sorry Jared.

[20:39:39] <D4n> I'll stop now

[20:39:40] <D4n> ... Jared.

[20:39:47] <Jared> WHAT

[20:39:48] <Oli> Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared ;D

[20:39:59] Aly thinks Jared is being unreasonable

[20:40:02] <Aly> :P

[20:40:04] <D4n> I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch your name... Jared isit?

[20:40:08] Jared leaves

----

[19:02:55] <Oli> Periods?

[19:03:05] <Georgia> :O

[19:03:13] <Oli> ...

[19:03:18] <D4n> Not quite the same thing, Oli. ;)

[19:03:23] <@Magrathea> Ahhhh, fair enough :)

[19:03:27] <Oli> D4n said it not me...

[19:03:34] <D4n> You lying bastard.

[19:03:37] <D4n> ;)

[19:03:37] <Oli> :P

[19:03:42] <@Magrathea> Stop hiding behind your boyfriend, Oli :P

[19:03:48] <D4n> OI.

[19:03:52] <Oli> No Homo Boyfriends though...

[19:04:01] <@Magrathea> pffft. I've known about you two for AGES.

[19:04:08] <Oli> Shush JIM

[19:04:10] <Jem8472> I know I have not been in chat recently but D4n now gay?

[19:04:15] <D4n> NO.

[19:04:18] <Oli> lol

[19:04:18] <D4n> No no no.

[19:04:20] <D4n> ARGGGGH

[19:04:21] <Jem8472> things move fast round here

[19:04:21] <Rowe> LOL. D4n. Gay.

[19:04:21] D4n has quit (Client exited).

[19:04:28] <Jem8472> radge quit?

[19:04:31] <Oli> Rage Quit!

[19:04:34] <@Magrathea> :P

----

[19:40] <Ogoid> OH. My. WARDLEY! O.O How have I never eaten BBQ Rib flavour Doritos until now?!?

[19:40] Ogoid noms furiously

[19:40] <Rowe> Are they gorgeous?

[19:40] <Rowe> TELL ME THEY'RE GORGEOUS!

[19:40] <Ogoid> It's like eating an orgasm.

----

[22:25] <Benedique> my womb is reserved for Craig Bates tbh

----
[22:53:30] <kamfira> i love the front

[22:53:40] <oldgitBEN> i love it at the back *giggles*

[22:53:41] Aly prefers the back

[22:53:45] <kamfira> but then i love to be jumped up on

[22:53:48] <Ogoid> you would, Aly

[22:53:48] <kamfira> well, this says it all

[22:53:49] Aly winks at Ben

[22:53:54] <Ogoid> brb

[22:54:01] <Aly> :P

[22:54:16] <Joelio> Hmm, Vez loves being jumped on

----

[20:38:06] <@Ian> I'm still here Vez :P

[20:38:15] <@Ian> (Not sure if that's a good thing)

[20:38:17] <kamfira> YAY

[20:38:19] <kamfira> lets get baby making

----

21:21 Ian Under where your arse was LOL!

21:21 Ian You were sat on it

----

22:55 <Joelio> fuck my pasty white skin :P

----

[23:18] <@Magrathea> Camelot Accident FTL :|

[23:18] <Sam> Oooh I need to do my hourly news check to see if that cunt has been killed yet

(NOTE: Sam was referring to Gadaffi)

----

[20:03] <Dagan> fist him :P

[20:03] <TowersFreak> ewwwww

[20:03] <Dagan> um.. wait...

[20:03] <@Chris> :o

[20:03] <Jonathan> No, Dagan. Just no.

[20:03] <TowersFreak> lmao

[20:04] <Joelio> LOL Dagan!

----

[23:49:18] <natalie> I still have boobs yes joelio

[23:49:25] <Joelio> I know you do Nat! :D

[23:49:32] <Jem8472> Joelio you are obessed with Boobs! :P

[23:49:34] <Jem8472> http://youtu.be/Q5OZCWaJBdc

[23:49:35] <Jem8472> WANT

[23:49:41] <Joelio> I mean err... you have boobs, haven't noticed?

[23:50:18] <natalie> haha lol I'll get em out for you one day when you grow up lol

[23:50:28] <@Chris> :O

[23:50:43] <Towers-Loaf> :O

[23:50:55] <Towers-Loaf> thinking about we were on the last public train that ever went round (the others being media, compitition winners and staff)

[23:50:57] <Jem8472> *listens for the scrabble of keyboards to get that quote on the wiki*

----

[21:47] <kamfira> OH FOR FUCKS SAKE STOP FUCKING TALKING ABOUT SHITECRAFT

[21:47] <DanB> I WILL IF YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT FUCKING HORSES ALL THE TIME!

----

[18:47] <Joelio> Nemesis theme is great to have an angry wank to...

----

[00:39] <Benedique> FUCKING ALTON TOWERS

[00:39] <Benedique> I've just been chewing on the fish shower gel from ATH and it's burst in my mouth

[00:39] <Benedique> all I can taste is nasty shower gel ... EURGHHHHHHHHHH

[00:40] <Joelio> was that practice for Saturday Dom? :P

[00:40] <Benedique> eurghhh I'm spitting bubbles and soap suds :'(

[00:40] <@Ian> Foaming at the mouth are we Dom?

----

[15:42:54] <Applejack> Yay!

[15:42:57] <Mike> tbh - looks-wise, there isnt mcuh difference between Applejack and this D4n guy I know....

[15:43:04] <Georgia> LOLOLOLOLOL.

[15:43:05] <Rarity> Mike do you have a problem with moi?

[15:43:12] <Applejack> I am D4n's twin.

[15:43:16] <Applejack> Neiiigghh.

[15:43:20] <Fluttershy> Applejack's a bitch though. :(

[15:43:25] <Applejack> :'(

[15:43:31] <Fluttershy> Jus' sayin'

[15:43:38] <Fluttershy> Applejack and Rainbow Dash ftl.

[15:43:46] <Fluttershy> Fluttershy and Pinkie <3

[15:43:51] <Rarity> OI.

[15:43:52] <Mike> Just figured out who is who :P

[15:43:55] <Applejack> Pinkie and Flutteryshy FTFL.

[15:43:56] <Rarity> What about me?

[15:44:07] Mike thinks AppleJack and Rarity should kiss and make up :P

[15:44:14] <Fluttershy> Flutteryshy? Piss off Applejack.

[15:44:14] Mike gets popcorn

[15:44:29] <Rarity> I, for one, am not a lesbian.

[15:44:34] <Mike> Kinky roleplaying isit now? :P

[15:44:36] <Applejack> Typo you noob.

[15:45:00] <Georgia> I think it is Mike...

[15:45:09] <Georgia> Applejack.... just.... go away.

[15:45:31] <Mike> Well, considering you're controlling him, thats not hard ;) :P

[15:45:39] <Rarity> Georgia would you like a makeover?

[15:45:52] <Georgia> Uhhmm... I'm not really a girly girl. :)

[15:46:02] <Fluttershy> Mike... how are you managing to control 3 accounts at once? :P

[15:46:07] <Rarity> You disappoint me

[15:46:10] <Mike> I m not ;P

[15:46:16] <Fluttershy> Clearly, you are.

[15:46:17] <Applejack> This is Mike.

[15:46:20] <Rarity> I'm not Mike

[15:46:23] <Applejack> I have taken Applejack hostage.

[15:46:35] <Fluttershy> You ARE Applejack...

[15:46:49] <Applejack> This is Mike currently typing, noob.

[15:46:51] <Mike> :P

[15:46:57] <Mike> It blatenty isnt ;)

[15:47:03] <Applejack> Yes it issss!

[15:47:12] <Georgia> Sorry Rarity:(

[15:47:16] <Mike> Applejack Username: georgiaa

[15:47:20] <Rarity> You should be :(

[15:47:25] <Mike> (from IRC's getinfo command :P )

[15:47:33] <Rarity> None of my pony friends are as glamorous as I.

[15:47:34] <Applejack> You lie.

[15:47:35] <Applejack> I lie!

[15:47:38] <Applejack> Muhhahahahaaaaa.

[15:47:39] <Rarity> And nor are you. :(

[15:48:07] <Georgia> :(

[15:48:24] <Applejack> I like to eat sprout milkshake.

[15:48:33] <Rarity> Hmm... perhaps I could tempt Mike?

[15:48:38] <Applejack> 'Cos Imma frickin pony.

[15:48:39] <Rarity> Gays like makeovers, yar?

[15:48:41] <Georgia> LOL yeah!

[15:48:52] <Fluttershy> :P

[15:49:34] <Rarity> I think I might have offended him.

[15:49:35] Mike hides

[15:49:40] <Rarity> How unfortunate.

[15:49:46] <Rarity> ... that said. I can't offend myself.

[15:49:58] Fluttershy is confused now. :P

[15:50:00] Applejack Licks Mike.

[15:50:07] <Fluttershy> Oh. Dear. God.

[15:50:08] <Mike> :O

[15:50:10] Applejack Tenderly.

[15:50:20] Mike could get used to this tbh

[15:50:25] <Mike> :P

[15:50:26] <Applejack> ;)

[15:50:29] <Georgia> :|

[15:50:40] <Rarity> I, unlike Applejack, have far too much decency to lick one.

[15:50:59] <Rarity> Disgusting habit

[15:51:03] Applejack Shats on Rarity for having too much decency.

[15:51:09] <Rarity> MY MANE!

[15:51:12] <Rarity> YOU BITCH!

[15:51:17] <Applejack> :):)

[15:51:28] Fluttershy notes that the last 15 minutes of chat has ALL been Wiki-worthy. :P

[15:51:41] <Applejack> HEY EVERYONE.

[15:51:46] <Applejack> :)

[15:51:52] <Rarity> Piss off yo' bitch.

[15:51:56] <Rarity> Stealing my screen-time.

[15:52:05] <Fluttershy> Rarity uses full-stops <3

[15:52:12] <Fluttershy> ... nice tactic there, Mike.

[15:52:19] <Fluttershy> ... make people think that it's me. :P

[15:52:20] Applejack Shoots out another load of shat for Rarity's mane.

[15:52:32] <Rarity> I shall not tolerate such behaviour.

[15:52:37] <Applejack> You just did.:)

[15:52:47] <Rarity> I shall report you to the appropriate authorities.

[15:52:50] <Applejack> :D

[15:53:07] <Rarity> You whore.

[15:53:10] <Applejack> ;)

[15:53:17] <Applejack> You luurrrvveee it really.

[15:53:38] <Rarity> I do not.

[15:53:46] <Applejack> You do.

[15:54:12] <Rarity> I shall not enter a fruitless debate in which I am arguing regarding my own opinion.

[15:54:16] <Rarity> I am aware of my opinion.

[15:54:19] <Rarity> You are not.

[15:54:34] Fluttershy chants "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

[15:55:10] Rarity has quit (Client exited).

[15:55:11] Applejack Can't really be bothered to figure out what Rarity just said, so pukes up a load of carrots.

[15:55:16] <Fluttershy> ^ Rage quit. :P

----

[01:31:59] Jem8472 pokes Joelios lifeless body with a stick

[01:32:17] <Jem8472> Nope dead

----

[01:45:31] <Jen> I'll get naked on webcam Joelio

[01:45:40] <Ogoid> pics or gtfo!

----

[23:47:30] <Scott> Wet t-shirt compy for Project Balloon

[23:47:38] <Ogoid> YES!

[23:47:38] <&Chris> I like this idea

[23:47:40] <Mike> ^^^tthis!

----

[20:09:32] Magrathea reappears at the mention of estrogen

----

[21:12] <D4n> ... shame Ian changed his username. 
[21:13] <Joel|Phone> Right 
[21:13] <Joel|Phone> Gwazi reopening 
[21:13] <Joel|Phone> So. Off again 
[21:13] <D4n> It's shit. 
[21:13] <Joel|Phone> Laters! 
[21:13] <D4n> ... but have fun! :P 
... 
[21:14] *** D4n has been kicked by Crabbe (You're shit tbh (Joel)) 

----

[16:31] <Georgia> Other ways to get kicked?

[16:31] <Georgia> Cunt

[16:31] <Georgia> Shit

[16:31] <Georgia> Fuck

[16:31] <Georgia> Bastard

[16:31] *** D4n joined #tt

[16:31] <Jonathan> Bollocks

[16:31] <D4n> ...

[16:31] <Jonathan> Oops...

[16:31] <Georgia> LOL

[16:31] <D4n> How rude!

----

22:40 AdamJames Hi Jordan

22:41 AdamJames Are you riding a virgin atm?

(after silly blabbering about MAP's)

22:43 Jordan||train The one I'm riding is rather slow and dirty tonight

----

[21:57] <Aly> I'm just a horny person Stu :P

----

[23:59] <Joelio> To me, sperm is like robinsons cordial.

----

[20:55] <Oli> I would clean sick from a platter of dog shit for money at the moment.

----

[23:20] <Aly> "You'll be gripping on the edge your seat as Aly's battering ram smashes down the door to Vazza Cazza"

----

[19:34] <Joelio> Crushes ftw, I have a crush on 'N' TTFers, where N is the number of female TTFers :) 
[19:34] <Jordan> JoelioCrushes = TTFMember.all.where('age >= 16 and gender = "female" ') 
[19:35] <Joelio> or in C#.. int crushes = TTFMembers.Females.Length; 
[19:37] <Joelio> Atleast my object is better designed tbh 
[19:37] <Sam> JohnHardingCrushes = TTFMember.all.where('name = "Sam" ') 
[19:37] <Joelio> I have KC in an enum... so she's type safe ;) 
[19:38] <herewegoagain> I'm reallllly confused

----

[20:57] <Jonathan> My flatmates just decided to tape a load of empty bin-bags over my door for some reason.

...

[20:57] <Joelio> because they're wankers Jon

[20:57] <Dar> LOL

[20:58] <Magrathea|Eating> That's a rubbish prank..

[20:58] <Magrathea|Eating> .

[20:58] <Dar> Joelio is just a big bag of dribbly shit

[20:58] <Magrathea|Eating> *haw haww*

[20:58] <Joelio> To teach them a lesson you should set fire to your room and die due to smoke inhilation

[20:58] <Dar> Laughing at your own pun James?

[20:58] <Joelio> (I don't want you to die, so do so at your own risk)

[20:58] <Dar> Not cool. Not cool duded

[20:58] <Magrathea|Eating> PRECISELY.

[20:58] <Jonathan> Or chunder outside their rooms.

[20:59] <Jonathan> Nah, that's taking things too far.

[20:59] <Bear> Shit in a biscuit tin and leave it outside their door

[20:59] <Dar> Shit outside their room

[20:59] <Joelio> Vomit in one of theirmouths while they sleep

[20:59] <Dar> or ^^^ that or ^that

[20:59] <Joelio> Shit in their slippers

[21:00] <Joelio> Crisp a thin shit into a laptop bag

[21:00] <towersfreak> shit in a paperbag and light it on fire so he has to stamp it out

[21:00] <towersfreak> lol

[21:00] <Jonathan> In my old school, someone once had a shit outside a classroom.

[21:00] <Dar> Jizz into their milk

[21:00] <Joelio> create a paper mache of each of them using used toilet roll

[21:00] <towersfreak> wipe ur bellend around rim of there drinking glases

[21:01] <towersfreak> the rim

[21:01] <Magrathea|Eating> Hehehe. Rim.

[21:01] <Dar> Jizz into their toothpaste (someone I know did this as a prank on their holiday to Ibiza)

[21:01] <Joelio> encase yourself into a wall cavity and eject your erect penis to use a surprise coat hanger upon their return from lectures tomorrow

[21:02] <towersfreak> eurghhhhhhhhhh

[21:02] *<Jonathan> is moving his mouse towards the Wiki...

[21:02] <Joelio> absorb their housekeys into your anus, via rapid decompression

...

[21:06] <towersfreak> clean bird shit of a car with there toothbrush and put it back

[21:06] <towersfreak> off

[21:07] <Joelio> shit a sticky log on the sofa arm, where the TV remote usually rests

[21:07] <Jonathan> There aren't any sofas in my flat, Joelio.

[21:07] <Joelio> shit in the houses supply of nutella

[21:08] <Joelio> deep fry some dogshit and hand them a bag of tasty 'Krispy Kremes'

[21:08] <Joelio> (dog shit is preferable due to consistency)

[21:09] <Joelio> drink a litre of chocolate milkshake next to some randomer, whilst shitting diarrhea into a urinal

[21:09] <Joelio> (to give the illusion of it passing straight through)

[21:11] <Joelio> likewise, sit on your shitter eating double chocolate carte d'or, whilst easing out standard 'uman logs

[21:11] *** MattH joined #tt

[21:11] <Joelio> and that concludes our shite ten minutes

----

[18:03] <MinteButtons> I have a photo of me with pony feet and hands. Your argument is invalid

[18:03] <MinteButtons> And doing an epic bro-hoof

...

[18:04] <MinteButtons> I mauled a pinata and put my feet in the feet

----

[00:44] <Scott> When staying at my gfs in 1st year, hers went off, I'd never heard it before, and in a deep sleep at 4am I took the batteries out of her alarm, lobbed it at her wall and was like "ITS STILL GOING OFF... WHYYYY?!"

----

[23:15] <Craig> sod all your coming out crap, try going back IN to your gran :P

[23:16] <Scott> what?

[23:16] <Aly> LMFAOO

[23:16] <Scott> you went in your gran?

[23:16] <Aly> That was the best time EVER :P

[23:16] <Vez> double entendre fail.

[23:16] <Scott> :p

[23:16] <Magrathea> Going IN?! :P

[23:16] <Scott> *fires up the wiki*

[23:16] <Aly> Wasn't that when I was at your bit Craig? :P

[23:16] <Vez> one for the wiki

[23:16] <Aly> Your Gran thought Dom was a male :P

----

<Dan77> just like Jonathan, hes a hoover only thing he needs to be good at is sucking....

----

[20:57] *** Joel quit (Quit: Dingdong. This Virgin is rough!)

----

[20:48] <Magrathea> I miss my breasts..

----

[21:56] <Joelio> thing about chocolate oranges is, I don't know whether to eat them, or to shove them up my ass

----

[00:47] <Jonathan> Stupid question, but why do TN hate us?

[00:47] <Joelio> Because we're dickheads?

----

[01:48] * Jem starts some new rumours

[01:48] <Longy> Too far

[01:49] <Jonathan> WTF, James?! :O

[01:49] <Magrathea> http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151109623020343&set=a.10150705301945343.711526.545100342&type=1&theater :P

[01:49] <Longy> Don't want to click

[01:49] <Longy> It doesn't work

[01:49] * PoisonTom96 stirs vigoursly jem's new rumours

[01:49] <Magrathea> Oh gawwwd, guys, it's nothing! :P

[01:49] <Jem> :P

[01:50] <Longy> :O

[01:50] <PoisonTom96> no worky what is it???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????

[01:50] <Magrathea> What are you vigorously doing to Jem? :P

[01:51] <Magrathea> It's nothing, it's just a photo

[01:51] * Longy feels insecure

[01:51] * Jem feels violated

[01:51] * PoisonTom96 disturbes Longy

[01:51] * Longy goes and cries in a corner

[01:51] * PoisonTom96 violates jem with a machete

[01:51] * Magrathea hides

[01:52] * Longy finds Magrathea

[01:52] * PoisonTom96 finds magrathea and longy and pervs on them both

[01:52] * Jem wonders why everyone is using this type of post

[01:52] * Longy legs it

[01:52] * Magrathea does NOT appreciate being perved on :(

[01:52] <Magrathea> I am a HETEROSEXUAL MALE.

[01:52] * Magrathea flounces out

[01:53] * Longy punches a wall

[01:53] * PoisonTom96 slaps MAG

[01:53] * Longy slaps PoisonTom96

[01:53] <Magrathea> Ow! :(

[01:53] * PoisonTom96 headbutts a sheep

[01:53] * Longy laughs

[01:53] * Magrathea hits PoisonTom96 with his handbag.

[01:53] * Jem lets of a low yeild nuclear weapon

[01:54] * Longy backs away

[01:54] * PoisonTom96 blows up Jem with a nuke

[01:54] <PoisonTom96> it's 2012 people it has begun

[01:54] * Longy believes that we all shall be dead

[01:55] * Magrathea hides behind Joelio

[01:55] * Longy locks everyone in a room and blows it up

[01:55] * PoisonTom96 sets many a chav on FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[01:55] * Longy looks towards Poisontom666

[01:56] * Jonathan notes that ALL of this is Wiki-worthy. :P

[01:56] * Longy was thinking the exact same thing

[01:56] * PoisonTom96 blows up every copy of Call Of Duty

[01:56] * Longy doesn't care

[01:56] * Jem delets the wiki

[01:56] * Longy creates the wiki

[01:56] * PoisonTom96 wants this on Wiki

[01:56] * Longy likes the wiki

[01:57] * PoisonTom96 nods at Longy approvingly

[01:57] * Longy nods back

[01:57] * Longy stares at the magical lava lamp which appears in the room

[01:58] <PoisonTom96> will anyone wiki this or not?

[01:58] <Jonathan> Right, I need to go to bed, and I frankly don't give a shit about the 60 second rule. I'm off.

[01:58] <Jem> night jonathan

[01:58] * Longy thinks Magrathea should wiki it

----

[00:22] <Benedique> Aahhh no worries, it's Friday night - he's probably out with 'the secret association of closet gays'. This week they are visiting a wardrobe factory so that they can all hide inside.

----

[01:06] <Joelio> Lol, only just realised that Craig is employed by Orange (his girlfriend :P)

[01:06] <Jonathan> LOL

[01:06] <Sammy> LOL

[01:06] <Chris> :P

[01:06] <PoisonTom96> LOL

[01:06] <Dan77> LOL

[01:06] <Craig> Everything Everywhere actually Joelio (your mother :P)

[01:07] <Joelio> OH LOL

----

[20:50] * Aly got distracted :P

[20:50] <Scott|afk> ;)

[20:50] *** Aly has left #tt

[20:50] <Joel> :P

[20:51] <Scott|afk> LOL

[20:51] * Joel giggles

[20:51] <Joel> I wonder if I can make him restart again

[20:51] <Chris> LOL

[20:51] *** Aly has joined #tt

[20:51] <Chris> Aly :(

[20:51] <Scott|afk> WTF Aly!

[20:51] <Aly> :'(

[20:51] * Joel stifles his tittering in the corner

[20:51] <Scott|afk> Just kick it tbh

[20:51] *** Aly has left #tt

[20:51] *** Aly has joined #tt

[20:52] <Chris> Aly, your internet is screwed

[20:52] <Aly> I think so lol

[20:52] *** Aly has left #tt

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[20:52] *** Aly has left #tt

[20:52] *** Aly has joined #tt

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[20:52] *** Aly has left #tt

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[20:52] *** Aly has left #tt

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[20:52] *** Aly has left #tt

[20:52] *** Aly has joined #tt

[20:52] *** Aly has left #tt

[20:52] <Scott|afk> :p

[20:52] *** Aly has joined #tt

[20:52] <Jonathan> :P

[20:52] <Aly> Umm wow?

[20:52] <Aly> :P

[20:53] <Joel> Oooooohhhhh HOKEY COKEY!

[20:53] <Scott|afk> :p

[20:53] <Scott|afk> IN, OUT, IN, OUT...

[20:53] <Aly> Its like CHAT SEX!

[20:53] <Chris> :P

[20:53] <Joel> Oh jesus

[20:53] <Joel> I cant do it anymore.

[20:53] * Joel bawlks

[20:53] <Scott|afk> Tired?

[20:53] <Aly> lol

[20:54] <Aly> :P

[20:54] * Joel giggles at having fun with Aly

[20:54] <Aly> :'(

[20:54] <Aly> Your mean :P

----

[18:35] <Ian> It's not a real relationaship until one gives the other a cold tbh :P

[18:35] <Dagan> or herpes

----

[23:07] *** oldgitBEN has joined #tt

[23:07] <Vez> in, out, shake the cum about, you do hokey cokey and you decide your sexuality, thats what its all about,HEY

[23:07] <Magrathea> AHAHAH.

[23:07] <DormiensDave> Hell if he plays safe and is happy let him dip his wick

[23:07] <oldgitBEN> best opening line to join chat, ever!

[23:07] <oldgitBEN> thanks vez

----

[01:25] <Sammy> No matter how many times I offer a Blow job he just wont take it and demands money!

----

[01:19] <Magrathea> I'd sooner be a Ladyboy tbh

----

[22:27] <Joelio> If we're not getting drunk and having vast amount of casual sex at the Vane, then we're killing :')

----

[18:55] <Sammy> in other news, sounds like I may be bringing Quaisah to Towers at some point :p

[18:56] <Joelio> :|

[18:56] <Joelio> Whom?

[18:56] <~Joel> Whats one of them?

[18:56] <Joelio> Is that a type of Mexican dish?

[18:56] <Sammy> She is my new flat mate

----

[20:51] * Ian is now playing: The Naked And Famous - All Of This

[20:52] <Scott> HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT

[20:52] <Scott> xD

[20:52] <Aly> mIRC :P

[20:52] <Ian> mIRC script :P

[20:52] <Ian> Joel put it in for me :P

[20:53] <Scott> Giggidy

[20:53] <Scott> :p

[20:53] <Magrathea> AHAHAAHAHa

----

[21:00] *** PT has joined #tt

[21:00] <Georgia> PT YOU SHIT GARGLING FUCK NUGGET.

[21:00] <Georgia> :)

[21:00] <Scott> Well timed Georgia

[21:00] <Magrathea> :D <3

[21:00] <PT> Georgia YOU GOATS DANGLER :P

[21:00] <Jonathan> Brilliant timing, Georgia! :D

[21:01] <Ian> LMFAO Georgia :P

----

[21:39] <Aly> and that my gran bums me :P

[21:39] <JamesDLD> omg

[21:39] <Aly> not actual bums :P

[21:39] <Adz> with a strap on?

[21:39] <Scott> LOLLLLL

[21:39] <Aly> bums as in loves me to bits :P

----

[21:29] Joel sleeps with a oven glove on his knob to stop getting burnt!

[21:29] <Scott> LOL

[21:29] <Aly> You can get oven gloves that small?

----

[00:30] <Joel> ALEXANDER MCINULTY

[00:30] <Joel> MY OFFICE, NOW

[00:30] <Aly> Yes Sir! :(

[00:30] * Joel slams the door shut

[00:30] <Aly> :|

[00:30] * Aly gulps

[00:31] * Joel <fierce shouting>

[00:31] * Aly <screaming>

[00:31] * Joel <slams fist on desk>

[00:31] * Joelio #include <iostream>

[00:32] * Aly <smashes picture>

[00:32] * jem8472 puts a glass up to the door

[00:32] <Joel> ... AND DONT YOU DAREEEE EVER LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT AGAIN! ....

[00:32] * Joel flings door open of office

[00:33] * Aly storms out shouting at Joel

[00:33] * jem8472 whistles

[00:33] * Aly storms back in Joel's office

[00:34] * Aly shouts "AND ANOTHER THING. THE DRIVERS DINNAE NEED FUCKING DONUTS TAE SIT OAN!"

[00:34] <jem8472> :P

[00:35] <jem8472> There never is a dull moment on TTF :P

[00:35] * Aly pushes Joels computer off the desk

[00:35] * Aly "Don't you fucking DARE look at that thing when I'm speaking to you!"

[00:36] * Joel bitch slaps Aly

[00:36] * Aly claws Joels FACE!

[00:36] * Ian cowers in the corner

[00:36] <jem8472> anyone want popcorn?

[00:37] * Ian hurls the odd piece of stationary, such as the hole punch and stapler, at Aly

[00:37] <Ian> Leave him alone! :(

[00:37] * Aly locks Ian in the stationary cupboard

[00:38] <Joel> OY!

[00:38] * Ian entertains himself with the pack of extra large marker pens

[00:38] <jem8472> :P

[00:38] <Joel> Its ok, its the Alton Towers Trips stationary cupboard ;)

[00:38] <Joel> Go wild Ian :P

[00:38] * Joel scowls at Aly

----

02:10 <MeatPie>: http://prntscr.com/l9xcs

02:11 <MeatPie>: Sly? Damn... I was trying to be blatant!

02:11 <Craig>: the builder was a lovely touch

02:11 <Thomas>: OH MY FUCK LOL

02:11 <Thomas>: THAT is funnny

02:11 <Jem>: LOL

02:11 <Jem>: thats fucking awesome

----

TST Skype

2012-12-17T04:32:28Z

Alexander: moved TTF Skype to TST Skype

Every <s>now and then</s> other day, TTFers from all ends of the country meet on Skype when [[TTF Chat]] just [[Ripsaw|doesn't cut it]]. This usually creates spoken drivel through to the early hours of the following morning.

== Quotes ==

- Diogo: Oh, hang on, it just got bigger - what do I do?!?!? 

----

- Diogo: I don't want to know where you're rubbing that...

----

- Cheese: Is that a rat sitting on your sofa thing, Diogo?

- Islander: No, I think you'll find that's Kelpie...

- ''Kelpie Waves at Cheese''

- [a little while later]

- Cheese: It is almost justified, to be honest. Err, err, I mean the wiki page, not calling Kelpie a rat!

----

- Sasquatch: "You can't have a group as large as TTF without someone catching Chlamydia"

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- Chris: "It's a good day when I don't have tits"

----

- Cap'n Ogoid: I think I've been drinking too much lately

- ''Cap'n Ogoid swigs beer''

----

- Sam:

There once was a woman called Hills,

At Chessington she sought her thrills,

Her relationship with Diogo

Was like riding a TOGO,

She's just in it for his RCT skills

----

- John:

It's pictures. You can't wank over pictures.

----

- Diogo:

I have nothing against cheese on sausage. But a cheesey sausage, on the other hand, is not something you'd want to encounter...

----

[02:20:25] Jenna: and it's less offensive than some of the other things they call me 
[02:20:43] Jenna: I'm not telling you 
[02:20:52] Joelio: Lets work them out... 
[02:20:52] Jenna: because you'll then use them 
[02:20:57] Joelio: Jenson? 
[02:21:02] Joelio: Johannson? 
[02:21:10] Joelio: Johannasberg? 
[02:21:17] Joelio: Jopperberg 

[02:21:25] Jenna: what is with all the giant/big connotations Dan? 
[02:21:29] Jenna: what are you trying to say? 
[02:21:43] Jenna: but fat ones always seem to come to ur mind 
[02:21:56] Jenna: well that's easy to see 
[02:23:06] Jenna: idiot 
[02:23:10] Jenna: pig jokes now 
[02:23:48] Jenna: oh god and we're back to the time of the month again 

[02:25:21] Jenna: just Dan is on hitlist atm 
[02:25:28] Jenna: for calling me a bitch and fat 
[02:25:44] Joelio: I suppose Dan did plump for some bad comments. 
[02:26:05] Joelio: Its a big ask, making him shut up. 
[02:26:09] Jenna: that's just brilliant 
[02:26:21] Joelio: Just take everything with a large pinch of salt. 
[02:26:37] Jenna: Joelio you can fuck off too 
[02:27:00] Joelio: He's obese of a bad bunch ;) 
[02:27:26] Jenna: yeh right 
[02:28:20] Joelio: Lol, i'm in stitches here 
[02:28:45] Joelio: Jennas been tooting her horn... in the big gastric band in the sky 
[02:28:52] Jenna: JOELIO! 
[02:29:01] Joelio: I can't stomach this anymore 
[02:29:04] Jenna: I'm gonna kill you 
[02:29:13] Jenna: fucker 
[02:29:28] Joelio: Jonna you must ride with me on Congo River Lipids :D 
[02:29:35] Jenna: I'm not gonna ride anything with you 
[02:29:51] Jordan: You can take the 'with' out of your sentence Joelio :P 
[02:29:57] Jenna: urgh 
[02:30:05] Joelio: Whatever floats your fat boat 
[02:30:10] Jenna: cheek! 
[02:30:19] Jordan: Lots and lots of cheek tbh :P 
[02:30:23] Jenna: Jordan! 
[02:30:45] Jenna: right I'm coming to Scarefest now, fuck the mazes 
[02:31:00] Jenna: Dan! 
[02:31:05] Jenna: ur STILL making fat jokes 
[02:31:42] Jenna: JORDAN 
[02:31:53] Joelio: weight a minute, what is this? 
[02:31:53] Jordan: :-P 
[02:31:58] Jenna: JOELIO! 
[02:32:12] Joelio: Look what i've pound, another fat joke. 
[02:32:17] Jenna: ur a shit 
[02:32:23] Jordan: She'll kilo you, Joel ;) 
[02:32:27] Joelio: :P 
[02:32:33] Joelio: Mass one now. 
[02:32:42] Jenna: Dan that was dire 
[02:32:51] Jordan: *diet 
[02:32:56] Joelio: Lol 
[02:33:01] Jenna: maybe you should just shush and leave it to the experts 

----

[1:09:52 AM] Rowe White: "What shall we do with a sodded Ogoid? What shall we do with a sodded Ogoid? What shall we do with a sodded Ogoid EARLY on the Skype-morn!" :P

----

[02:42 AM] towersfreak: "If I had a vagina, I wouldn't be here right now. I would be upstairs fingering myself."

----

Kelpie:

''T*o the tune of Oh Christmas Tree*''

Oh Pedobear, Oh Pedobear,

Why are you looking over there?

Oh Pedobear, Oh Pedobear,

Why are you looking over there?

Was that a young girl that you saw,

That you could go touch with your paw?

Oh Pedobear, Oh Pedobear,

Why are you looking over there?

----

[9:02:40 PM] Joelio: I would wildly bum rice pudding, if forced

----

[1:33:28 AM] Diogo: I want to be king of boobies

BALSDON!

TST Autos

2012-12-17T04:32:15Z

Alexander: moved TTF Autos to TST Autos

__NOTOC__
__NOEDITSECTION__
Due to the surprisingly high number of theme park industry figureheads choosing to sell their cars second-hand recently, [[TowersTimes]] have decided to open their own used-car exchange. Since then, we have been inundated with hundreds of adverts from members looking to 'trade up' their theme park transportation vehicles. We've had to pick a select few to show here.

<div style="float: left; width: 32%; text-align: center; margin-right: 1%;">

== Mercedes for Sale ==

[[File:Cars JW.png|300px]]

* Registration: F442 YAX
* Price: £750
* Contact: J Wardley, Barry Island

''Look at this car! WOW!''

'''Note from ed:''' This vehicle appears to have [[:File:JW_Ticket.jpg|been caught speeding on the M25]]. May want to keep this in mind before purchasing.

</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 32%; text-align: center; margin-right: 1%;">

== Nearly-new Machine ==

[[File:Cars AT.jpg|300px]]

* Registration: W4 T3R
* Price: £435
* Contact: A Thompson, Blackpool

''Please note that the carpets may need cleaning. Free furry dice included. Pickup only.''

</div>
<div style="float: left; width: 33%; text-align: center;">

== The ULTIMATE Used-Car ==

[[File:Cars MA.jpg|300px]]

* Registration: UL11 MTE
* Price: £199
* Contact: M Angove, Trafford, Manchester

''This is every used-car you've ever dreamed of all rolled into one. Teenage racers would love the extreme thrill of driving this car.''

</div>
<div style="clear: both; "></div> 
---- 
<div style="float: left; width: 32%; text-align: center; margin-right: 1%;">

== Love-mobile ==

[[File:Car RM.jpg|300px]]

* Registration: MA CK 123
* Price: €780
* Contact: R Mack, Rust, Germany

''Ideal for speeding around German theme parks. Some say it has a force of attraction to women nearby...''

</div>
<div style="clear: both;"></div>

[[Category:Creations]]

Splash Landings Hotel

2012-12-17T04:31:33Z

Alexander:

Named after Richy Splashwell, Splash Landin's is de second hotel at de [[Alton Towers]] resort, built for and opened in mid 2003 and bein' a complete contrast fe di first hotel, themed around a Caribbean village... in a hotel. It makes no sense but then again, it's more logical dan [[Mandyland]]. It has it's own water park Cariba Creek, which de visitors in said hotel didn't haffi let off for at one point but thru' de company are coil stealers, di visitors at Splash Landin's haffi let off alongside general guests both on park and at di hotel even if they have the [[Merlin Annual Pass]].

== De Plannin' and Construction, mon ==

=== Plannin', mon ===

The second hotel had been in de pipeline for many years, said fe be influenced by a member of [[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]]' staff goin' on holiday fe de Caribbean but really couldn't be arsed fe cotch deh thru' commutin' from di Caribbean fe Staffordshire would be pretty hard, although less difficult dan getting to anywhere from Clapham Junction.

''"A second hotel? Why no. It'll make more coil for us and won't be behind schedule at all! Oh and kids will gaan fe bed it cus of wow factor, etc ectera"'' - Someone of importance

The other ideas for Splash Landin's came up in 1997 while de design team attempted fe dink through di logic of dis ya idea, keepin' inna idea of [[Theatrical Brilliance|Deatrical Brilliance]] at least somewhere fe make it a beenie impressive. Apparantly di story behind the hotel is that it's a paradise island that's SINKING and the visitors haffi keep it afloat by pumping the water through. Yeah. Funny how dis ya is inna Midlands of England and nowhere near the sea.

=== Construction, mon ===

The area next fe de [[Alton Towers Hotel]] was cleared in late 2001, strippin' de grass and removin' a load of rocks [[Nemesis]] had left behind after her paddywhack about hearin' [[Oblivion]] was a success in 1998. Flimsy cardboard was put up around di area for di next 2 years even though nothing interesting was happening, seeing as the builders weren't arsed enough fe get constructing until late 2002 when one of the wives asked:

*Wife: "Darlin', have the i had a bad day?"
*Builder: "Yes indeed I have. De park was bad and quiet today, got a heap of re-rides. Shame I so-so got on [[Air]] once."
*Wife: "No no, darlin', I meant constructing de cris water park and hotel set fe open for June 1st 2003?"
*Builder: "... FFFFFFFFFFFFFU-"

The second hotel wasn't finished in time for June 2003, with untiled floors, an unfinished water park and workmen still hangin' around de place. People complained alot, got deir compensation and buggered off. Dankfully someone imported about a quarter of a Caribbean Island which got di schedule finished quicker dan it did previously.

== De Hotel, mon ==

The majority of enthusiasts tend fe agree dat de hotel is very bad lookin' and entertainin' in terms of subtly put theming etc, even though it is a bleeding obvious theme of a Caribbean beach village. Dey have funky lifts with novelty jingles, massive windows for di kids fe press their noses up against and other bits and bobs people will find intriguing for at least 10 seconds before forgetting it again. It's ridiculously flamboyant in terms of colours and is very much de tropical version of [[Cloud_Cuckoo_Land|Cloud Cuckoo Land]]. It has been said dat di interior is so loudly painted, it is on par with di French.

However, di rooms themselves are pretty much the same <s>size, design and</s> price as the <nowiki>Alton Towers Hotel</nowiki>, but at least a beenie cheaper. Dey are pretty nicely themed though.

=== Features, mon ===

*Cariba Creek Water Park

*Ma Garritas Bar - Opposite de reception and is TST's regular haunt on resort for gettin' smashed just as much as havin' a bad time. Dere is sometimes entertainment... starring TST.

*[[Flambo's Feast]] - Nice lookin' restaurant, bad run-dung and always busy.

*The Games Room - For de people who don't gaan fe bed fe swim.