TowersStreet Wiki - User contributions [en]

2014-02-20T23:21:00Z

Andrew:

When a ride is new/rethemed/or awesome, it is ruined, another greedy sinister facility.

== Sponsored Rides ==
*[[Oblivion|Fanta: The Ride]] - Now with 95% less Fanta.

== Dead Sponsors ==
When the company doesn't renew a contract, the theme park hides the fact it was ever sponsored, notable ones include.

*[[Air]] - Cadbury Zeroes.
*[[Berry Bish Bash]] - Suprisingly Ribena. Who would've guessed?
*[[Rumba Rapids]] - Suprisingly Ribena, at [[Thorpe Park|Thorpe]].
*[[The Flume]] - Expired in 2009, began the demise of The Flume.

Europa's Law

2013-09-08T12:58:16Z

Andrew: Created page with "File:1175379 666890619990825 492461163 n.jpg Credit to BigAl"

[[File:1175379 666890619990825 492461163 n.jpg]]

Credit to BigAl

File:1175379 666890619990825 492461163 n.jpg

2013-09-08T12:39:24Z

Andrew: Picture

Picture

Nemesis: Sub-Terra

2013-08-13T21:32:21Z

Andrew:

Nemesis Sub Terra is an underground roller coaster apparently according to the majority of visitors when it's really just a glorified Frog Hopper (Similar to [[Thirteen]] ). Many people think of it as 'da new Nemisis ride' or 'Da 1 dat drops, innit'. The second name is probably better than the current name as it doesn't shame Nemesis into hiding and cutting her own body parts off.

When looking for the ride, many guests get confused as all they see is a giant tin shed with some Merlin satellite dishes. This 'theming' is of course Merlin's specialty. To hide the fact that the ride doesn't go underground at all, there are some lifts which definitely do not just rumble and bounce a bit. Kinky stuff.

When the ride opened in 2012 (after Nemesis even though some refer to it as a prequel. Towers logic!) many chavs thought that it was 'crap,innit' so Towers management got scared and thought they wouldn't make a glorious profit. This prompted them to shove another shipping container on the end for cheaper scares. Superb work, Alton Towers. Superb.

The Phalanx (Not Phallus) is the group in charge of the ride (or facility as they like to call it) and it is their duty to shout in your face. You may occasionally get some spit on you which is another £5 charge for extra 4D effects. Because the name of the group sounds like male genitalia, designers decided that they better make the logo look like that too. The ride literally makes people wet...

Nemesis: Sub-Terra

2013-08-13T21:31:52Z

Andrew:

Nemesis Sub Terra is an underground roller coaster apparently according to the majority of visitors when it's really just a glorified Frog Hopper (Similar to [[TH13TEEN]] ). Many people think of it as 'da new Nemisis ride' or 'Da 1 dat drops, innit'. The second name is probably better than the current name as it doesn't shame Nemesis into hiding and cutting her own body parts off.

When looking for the ride, many guests get confused as all they see is a giant tin shed with some Merlin satellite dishes. This 'theming' is of course Merlin's specialty. To hide the fact that the ride doesn't go underground at all, there are some lifts which definitely do not just rumble and bounce a bit. Kinky stuff.

When the ride opened in 2012 (after Nemesis even though some refer to it as a prequel. Towers logic!) many chavs thought that it was 'crap,innit' so Towers management got scared and thought they wouldn't make a glorious profit. This prompted them to shove another shipping container on the end for cheaper scares. Superb work, Alton Towers. Superb.

The Phalanx (Not Phallus) is the group in charge of the ride (or facility as they like to call it) and it is their duty to shout in your face. You may occasionally get some spit on you which is another £5 charge for extra 4D effects. Because the name of the group sounds like male genitalia, designers decided that they better make the logo look like that too. The ride literally makes people wet...

If the rides were songs, they would be these

2013-08-13T13:27:48Z

Andrew:

{{cleanup}}

If the ride music had to be replaced with real songs, they would be these:

== Alton Towers ==

[[Air]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSR6ZzjDZ94 More Than A Feeling] - This was in no way inspired by [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrY2Xtmd2qo this]

[[Air]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isxmjugRnLU If We Ever - High Contrast] - Fast paced but not intense, just like Air.

[[Air]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Mt0ee9FraQ In The Air Tonight] - An ambient piece for the ride

[[Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: The Ride]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52_aCVBFlkE Pure Imagination] - Something the creators of this ride didn't have

[[Duel]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClQcUyhoxTg Don't Fear The Reaper] - Nuff said

[[The Flume]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8yx4k4tzqE Nice Weather For Ducks] - You probably know where this came from!

[[Hex]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnR3Rln5qzc You Spin Me Right Round] - It would be hilarious if they played this in the vault...choose this video because of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJv5qLsLYoo this]

[[Monorail]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jF_yLodI1CQ Monorail] - Monorail!

[[Nemesis]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sUlDQtK5kY Hellraiser] - They've got to change it to this for at least a day!

[[Rita]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Se5JLYKQfDU Lovely Rita] - Obviously

[[Runaway Mine Train]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdRxXID_b28 Rock' n Roll Train] - Wouldn't be surprised if it did run right of the tracks

[[Sharkbait Reef]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oH6mw2Rc3DQ Somewhere Beyond The Sea] - Is there anything else?

[[Skyride]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8q43cFxXdA Firestarter] - Speaks for itself

[[Sonic Spinball]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFMPnbiC1fc I'm Spinning Around] - literal much?

[[The Smiler]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MwjX4dG72s Yellow] Obvious reasons!

== Thorpe Park ==

[[Nemesis Inferno]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lhf9U5Wf3Q Ring Of Fire] - Just because

== Chessington World Of Adventures ==

[[Vampire]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9WeTf67YLY Bat Out Of Hell] - Igor should play this on the organ

== Lightwater Valley ==

[[The Ultimate]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAOdlgFJDAI I Bruise Easily] - Ultimate = Bruises

Nemesis: Sub-Terra

2013-08-13T13:09:16Z

Andrew:

Nemesis Sub Terra is an underground roller coaster apparently according to the majority of visitors. Many people think of it as 'da new Nemisis ride' or 'Da 1 dat drops, innit'. The second name is probably better than the current name as it doesn't shame Nemesis into hiding and cutting her own body parts off.

When looking for the ride, many guests get confused as all they see is a giant tin shed with some Merlin satellite dishes. This 'theming' is of course Merlin's specialty. To hide the fact that the ride doesn't go underground at all, there are some lifts which definitely do not just rumble and bounce a bit. Kinky stuff.

When the ride opened in 2012 (after Nemesis even though some refer to it as a prequel. Towers logic!) many chavs thought that it was 'crap,innit' so Towers management got scared and thought they wouldn't make a glorious profit. This prompted them to shove another shipping container on the end for cheaper scares. Superb work, Alton Towers. Superb.

The Phalanx (Not Phallus) is the group in charge of the ride (or facility as they like to call it) and it is their duty to shout in your face. You may occasionally get some spit on you which is another £5 charge for extra 4D effects. Because the name of the group sounds like male genitalia, designers decided that they better make the logo look like that too. The ride literally makes people wet...

Nemesis: Sub-Terra

2013-08-13T13:08:22Z

Andrew: Created page with "Nemesis Sub Terra is an underground roller coaster apparently according to the majority of visitors. Many people think of it as 'da new Nemisis ride' or 'Da 1 dat drops, innit..."

Nemesis Sub Terra is an underground roller coaster apparently according to the majority of visitors. Many people think of it as 'da new Nemisis ride' or 'Da 1 dat drops, innit'. The second name is probably better than the current name as it doesn't shame Nemesis into hiding and cutting her own body parts off.

When looking for the ride, many guests get confused as all they see is a giant tin shed with some Merlin satellite dishes. This 'theming' is of course Merlin's specialty. To hide the fact that the ride doesn't go underground at all, there are some lifts which definitely do not just rumble and bounce a bit. Kinky stuff.

When the ride opened in 2012 (after Nemesis even though some refer to it as a prequel. Towers logic!) many chavs thought that it was 'crap,innit' so Towers management got scared and thought they wouldn't make a glorious profit. This prompted them to shove another shipping container on the end for cheaper scares. Superb work, Alton Towers. Superb.

The Phalanx (Not Phallic) is the group in charge of the ride (or facility as they like to call it) and it is their duty to shout in your face. You may occasionally get some spit on you which is another £5 charge for extra 4D effects. Because the name of the group sounds like male genitalia, designers decided that they better make the logo look like that too. The ride literally makes people wet...

The Smiler

2013-08-13T12:49:40Z

Andrew:

'''The Smiler''' (previously known as '''Secret Weapon 7''' and commonly abbreviated to '''<nowiki>SW7</nowiki>''') will be the latest in the long line of over-hyped coasters at [[Alton Towers]], designed by the [[Marketing Department]]. Contrary to previous rumours, the ride did not turn out to be the world's first stand-up wooden babycoaster, including a FREE stay-down breakfast. ''The Smiler'' might open sometime in 2013, however delays are being strategically planned so that the ride can indeed be opened as new for [[2014]].

The [[rollercoaster]] will be manufactured by <s>[[Pinfari]]</s> [[Gerstlauer]] (following Vekoma being deemed as too expensive), and feature <s>8</s> 14 inversions, hence the rumoured name, [[Th13teen|FOU13TEEN]]. You will have to sign a form declaring that you are not a [[Chav|chav]] in order to be allowed to ride; all chavs (along with [[Trolls|trolls]], [[Noobs|noobs]], and people who don't write [[Hex - The Legend of the Towers]] out in full) will be sent to [[Rita|Rita]] instead, to ride her like the whore she is.

In addition to this, additional rumours arose on the <nowiki>Alton Towers</nowiki> [[Faffbook|Facebook]] page that <nowiki>SW7</nowiki> will be named "THE FLYING KINKONATOR" will be built over <nowiki>Hex</nowiki> in a few years.

The ride will be themed on Stephen King's IT, specifically Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Staff will sell Fasttracks while in costume and character of Pennywise, IE) "don'tcha wanna Fastrack? Don'tcha wannit? Don'tcha WANNIT!?, DON'TCHA WANNIT!!??" but they will not be permitted to bare fangs until the Scarefest fortnight.

The ride opened in March... Erm, April... Okay, mid-May. Oh fine, it opened on the final day of May. Then it broke down some more due to the vast amount stickers in the queue. A bolt also fell from the ride once and apparently it hit someone. That was a load of nonsense you blithering idiots.

Aside from these issues, the ride was fairly well received (aside from the vast amounts of concrete earning it the nickname of 'Concrete: The Ride)and many people were saying that it was better than Nemesis. Nope.jpeg.

The Smiler does a lot of loop-de-loops as well making it the best ride eva! Well, the second best after TH13TEEN of course. The washing machine only gets turned on for members of that other forum and spin_doctor and it's meant to be pretty darn fun. Pity that we all can't try it out!
[[Category:Alton Towers]]
[[Category:Ride]]

The Smiler

2013-08-13T12:44:49Z

Andrew:

TOGO

2011-01-01T20:42:37Z

Andrew: I thought it was funny! And Rowe's approved it so that should be dandy!