TowersStreet Wiki - User contributions [en]

Thorpe Park

2014-12-26T02:32:36Z

Djtruefitt: /* Misc */

''Oops, Maybe You Were looking For [[Fail]]''

''This article is about the only pikey stronghold south of Nottingham, for the caravan park in Cleethorpes, see [[Thorpe Park (the original and best)]].''

''(Some of this is graciously stolen from Unencyclopedia. Thanks!)''

[[File:Thorpe.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Their slogan is 'Twisted Pleasure... Twisted Pleasure in conning you out of your money, your dignity, your life's existence and '''NEW FOR 2014! THORPE PARK Resort waterside shipping container hotel! (oh and Angry Birds Land)!''']]

THORPE PARK (also known as [[Fail|Fail]] Park, Thorpe Krap, Hell or The place which we do not speak of) is one of Britain's worst nightmares and the British enthusiast's dream gone horribly wrong with added <nowiki>FAIL</nowiki>. A [[Chav|chav]] breeding ground and so called 'Thrill Capital', it's only thrills are the queuelines and the fact rides break down every day, on the hour and every hour. It is a place of terror for any family within children under 12 and no wait... let me rephrase that... it is Britain's most voted place of terror. Please note as of 2014 THORPE PARK is now known as THORPE PARK Resort (yes THORPE PARK is still in capitals, yet Resort isn't! Why you ask? We haven't a clue!)

The Scottish equivalent to Thorpe Park is [[M and Ds]]. No arguments. It just is.

The park's slogan is ''Join the queue for real fun!'' and it appears in all cases, this is true.

Sometimes, it's just less hassle to visit [[Chessington World of Adventures]]. Why? Because it's the land of [[John Wardley|God himself]]!

''See also: [[Thorpe Park: The Musical]]''

== History ==

The park was opened in 1979 as a very nice and decent place where everyone could go and have a jolly old time! Families liked it. Enthusiasts liked it. It had some lovely little rides and attractions too that were decent as well and sometimes... even good! Wonderful even. Of course this was back before the chavs were an invented species and the 21st century had come into motion.

Some former rides and attractions are as follows:

*Phantom Fantasia/Wicked Witches Haunt - Burnt down just after the news of a [[Intamin]] [[Roller_coaster|roller coaster]] came along. This was the Southern equivalent to [[Duel|The Haunted House]] at [[Alton Towers]], with a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbtftJXs0Ww 1990 onride] to prove it. There used to be an animatronic witch at the front of the ride who cackled at you for your stupid 80s mullet/90s shave. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ty_U9HPovTk#t=4m15s This is what remained of the fire incident. Look at what Intamin did to the park!]

*Magic Mill/Mr Rabbit's Tropical Travels - Also partially burnt down with Wicked Witches Haunt. This was a wonderful and pleasant ride that was the Southern equivalent to [[Toyland Tours]] at <nowiki>Alton Towers</nowiki> with another [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVOQD5IUp0g onride] to prove it. T'was rethemed to the Ranger County area and soon replaced by Nymphferior.

*Pirates 4D - Possibly one of the most decent 4D shows in the UK at the time with an animatronic pirate parrot, the film starred Leslie Nielsen and Eric Idle. The Naked Gun [[Meets|meets]] Monty Python with a big heap of pirate costumes? AHOY! Was removed for <s>[[Fail|FAIL]]</s> Time Voyagers.

*Thorpe Farm - Decent farm, [[Closed|closed]] because nobody cared for it anymore.

*Model World - Decent models of various visitor attractions around the world.

== Reliability record ==

Absolutely terrible. Put it this way - if you want to ride anything, don't bother spending £39, just walk round your local chav-infested town centre, it's a pretty similar experience as you usually cant ride anything decent at Thorpe anyway!

== 2011 Pass Holder Preview Day ==

The park received considerable criticism during their 2011 Pass Holder Preview day when approximately 97 people turned up, more than triple the expected amount.

Staff were unable to cope with the influx of people and a public toilet had to be opened in attempt to keep waste to a minimum.

X:\ No Way Out was required to run with one train, more than double the typical amount required on Pass Holder Preview Days.

== Rides & Attractions ==

=== Rollercoasters ===

*[[Colossus]]
*[[Nemesis Inferno]]
*[[Stealth]]
*[[SAW: The Ride]]
*[[X:\No Way Out]] - Now running forwards!!
*[[The swarm]]
*The Flying Fish

=== Thrill Rides ===

*[[Lost City|Rush]]
*[[Lost City|Vortex]]
*[[Lost City|Samurai]]
*[[Canada Creek|Slammer]]
*[[Calypso Quay|Detonator]]

=== Water Rides ===

*[[Tidal Wave]]
*[[Loggers Leap]]
*[[Neptunes Kingdom|Depth Charge]]
*[[Ribena Rumba Rapids]] ''(Due to the recent addition of Storm Surge Rumba Rapids suddenly doesn't feel so bad)''

=== Family Rides ===

*Mr Monkey's Banana Ride
*Rangers Carousel
*Rocky Express
*Quantum
*Storm in a Teacup

=== Misc ===

*[[SAW:Alive]]*Only open on the 5th Friday of every Month, during a full moon, when it snows.
*[[Time Voyagers]] NOW ANGRY BIRDS LAND 4D! !1!
*<nowiki>Tidal Wave</nowiki> Wetzone

=== The One Nobody Likes ===

*2011 new attraction: A '[[Storm_Surge|Storm Surge]]', the literal Cypress Gardens castaway!

[[Category:Theme Park]]

Thorpe Park

2014-12-26T02:32:22Z

Djtruefitt: /* Misc */

''Oops, Maybe You Were looking For [[Fail]]''

''This article is about the only pikey stronghold south of Nottingham, for the caravan park in Cleethorpes, see [[Thorpe Park (the original and best)]].''

''(Some of this is graciously stolen from Unencyclopedia. Thanks!)''

[[File:Thorpe.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Their slogan is 'Twisted Pleasure... Twisted Pleasure in conning you out of your money, your dignity, your life's existence and '''NEW FOR 2014! THORPE PARK Resort waterside shipping container hotel! (oh and Angry Birds Land)!''']]

THORPE PARK (also known as [[Fail|Fail]] Park, Thorpe Krap, Hell or The place which we do not speak of) is one of Britain's worst nightmares and the British enthusiast's dream gone horribly wrong with added <nowiki>FAIL</nowiki>. A [[Chav|chav]] breeding ground and so called 'Thrill Capital', it's only thrills are the queuelines and the fact rides break down every day, on the hour and every hour. It is a place of terror for any family within children under 12 and no wait... let me rephrase that... it is Britain's most voted place of terror. Please note as of 2014 THORPE PARK is now known as THORPE PARK Resort (yes THORPE PARK is still in capitals, yet Resort isn't! Why you ask? We haven't a clue!)

The Scottish equivalent to Thorpe Park is [[M and Ds]]. No arguments. It just is.

The park's slogan is ''Join the queue for real fun!'' and it appears in all cases, this is true.

Sometimes, it's just less hassle to visit [[Chessington World of Adventures]]. Why? Because it's the land of [[John Wardley|God himself]]!

''See also: [[Thorpe Park: The Musical]]''

== History ==

The park was opened in 1979 as a very nice and decent place where everyone could go and have a jolly old time! Families liked it. Enthusiasts liked it. It had some lovely little rides and attractions too that were decent as well and sometimes... even good! Wonderful even. Of course this was back before the chavs were an invented species and the 21st century had come into motion.

Some former rides and attractions are as follows:

*Phantom Fantasia/Wicked Witches Haunt - Burnt down just after the news of a [[Intamin]] [[Roller_coaster|roller coaster]] came along. This was the Southern equivalent to [[Duel|The Haunted House]] at [[Alton Towers]], with a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbtftJXs0Ww 1990 onride] to prove it. There used to be an animatronic witch at the front of the ride who cackled at you for your stupid 80s mullet/90s shave. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ty_U9HPovTk#t=4m15s This is what remained of the fire incident. Look at what Intamin did to the park!]

*Magic Mill/Mr Rabbit's Tropical Travels - Also partially burnt down with Wicked Witches Haunt. This was a wonderful and pleasant ride that was the Southern equivalent to [[Toyland Tours]] at <nowiki>Alton Towers</nowiki> with another [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVOQD5IUp0g onride] to prove it. T'was rethemed to the Ranger County area and soon replaced by Nymphferior.

*Pirates 4D - Possibly one of the most decent 4D shows in the UK at the time with an animatronic pirate parrot, the film starred Leslie Nielsen and Eric Idle. The Naked Gun [[Meets|meets]] Monty Python with a big heap of pirate costumes? AHOY! Was removed for <s>[[Fail|FAIL]]</s> Time Voyagers.

*Thorpe Farm - Decent farm, [[Closed|closed]] because nobody cared for it anymore.

*Model World - Decent models of various visitor attractions around the world.

== Reliability record ==

Absolutely terrible. Put it this way - if you want to ride anything, don't bother spending £39, just walk round your local chav-infested town centre, it's a pretty similar experience as you usually cant ride anything decent at Thorpe anyway!

== 2011 Pass Holder Preview Day ==

The park received considerable criticism during their 2011 Pass Holder Preview day when approximately 97 people turned up, more than triple the expected amount.

Staff were unable to cope with the influx of people and a public toilet had to be opened in attempt to keep waste to a minimum.

X:\ No Way Out was required to run with one train, more than double the typical amount required on Pass Holder Preview Days.

== Rides & Attractions ==

=== Rollercoasters ===

*[[Colossus]]
*[[Nemesis Inferno]]
*[[Stealth]]
*[[SAW: The Ride]]
*[[X:\No Way Out]] - Now running forwards!!
*[[The swarm]]
*The Flying Fish

=== Thrill Rides ===

*[[Lost City|Rush]]
*[[Lost City|Vortex]]
*[[Lost City|Samurai]]
*[[Canada Creek|Slammer]]
*[[Calypso Quay|Detonator]]

=== Water Rides ===

*[[Tidal Wave]]
*[[Loggers Leap]]
*[[Neptunes Kingdom|Depth Charge]]
*[[Ribena Rumba Rapids]] ''(Due to the recent addition of Storm Surge Rumba Rapids suddenly doesn't feel so bad)''

=== Family Rides ===

*Mr Monkey's Banana Ride
*Rangers Carousel
*Rocky Express
*Quantum
*Storm in a Teacup

=== Misc ===

*[[SAW:Alive]]*Only open on the 5th Friday of very Month, during a full moon, when it snows.
*[[Time Voyagers]] NOW ANGRY BIRDS LAND 4D! !1!
*<nowiki>Tidal Wave</nowiki> Wetzone

=== The One Nobody Likes ===

*2011 new attraction: A '[[Storm_Surge|Storm Surge]]', the literal Cypress Gardens castaway!

[[Category:Theme Park]]

Thorpe Park

2014-01-27T20:29:32Z

Djtruefitt:

''Oops, Maybe You Were looking For [[Fail]]''

''This article is about the only pikey stronghold south of Nottingham, for the caravan park in Cleethorpes, see [[Thorpe Park (the original and best)]].''

''(Some of this is graciously stolen from Unencyclopedia. Thanks!)''

[[File:Thorpe.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Their slogan is 'Twisted Pleasure... Twisted Pleasure in conning you out of your money, your dignity, your life's existence and '''NEW FOR 2014! THORPE PARK Resort waterside shipping container hotel! (oh and Angry Birds Land)!''']]

THORPE PARK (also known as [[Fail|Fail]] Park, Thorpe Krap, Hell or The place which we do not speak of) is one of Britain's worst nightmares and the British enthusiast's dream gone horribly wrong with added <nowiki>FAIL</nowiki>. A [[Chav|chav]] breeding ground and so called 'Thrill Capital', it's only thrills are the queuelines and the fact rides break down every day, on the hour and every hour. It is a place of terror for any family within children under 12 and no wait... let me rephrase that... it is Britain's most voted place of terror. Please note as of 2014 THORPE PARK is now known as THORPE PARK Resort (yes THORPE PARK is still in capitals, yet Resort isn't! Why you ask? We haven't a clue!)

The Scottish equivalent to Thorpe Park is [[M and Ds]]. No arguments. It just is.

The park's slogan is ''Join the queue for real fun!'' and it appears in all cases, this is true.

Sometimes, it's just less hassle to visit [[Chessington World of Adventures]]. Why? Because it's the land of [[John Wardley|God himself]]!

''See also: [[Thorpe Park: The Musical]]''

== History ==

The park was opened in 1979 as a very nice and decent place where everyone could go and have a jolly old time! Families liked it. Enthusiasts liked it. It had some lovely little rides and attractions too that were decent as well and sometimes... even good! Wonderful even. Of course this was back before the chavs were an invented species and the 21st century had come into motion.

Some former rides and attractions are as follows:

*Phantom Fantasia/Wicked Witches Haunt - Burnt down just after the news of a [[Intamin]] [[Roller_coaster|roller coaster]] came along. This was the Southern equivalent to [[Duel|The Haunted House]] at [[Alton Towers]], with a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbtftJXs0Ww 1990 onride] to prove it. There used to be an animatronic witch at the front of the ride who cackled at you for your stupid 80s mullet/90s shave. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ty_U9HPovTk#t=4m15s This is what remained of the fire incident. Look at what Intamin did to the park!]

*Magic Mill/Mr Rabbit's Tropical Travels - Also partially burnt down with Wicked Witches Haunt. This was a wonderful and pleasant ride that was the Southern equivalent to [[Toyland Tours]] at <nowiki>Alton Towers</nowiki> with another [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVOQD5IUp0g onride] to prove it. T'was rethemed to the Ranger County area and soon replaced by Nymphferior.

*Pirates 4D - Possibly one of the most decent 4D shows in the UK at the time with an animatronic pirate parrot, the film starred Leslie Nielsen and Eric Idle. The Naked Gun [[Meets|meets]] Monty Python with a big heap of pirate costumes? AHOY! Was removed for <s>[[Fail|FAIL]]</s> Time Voyagers.

*Thorpe Farm - Decent farm, [[Closed|closed]] because nobody cared for it anymore.

*Model World - Decent models of various visitor attractions around the world.

== Reliability record ==

Absolutely terrible. Put it this way - if you want to ride anything, don't bother spending £39, just walk round your local chav-infested town centre, it's a pretty similar experience as you usually cant ride anything decent at Thorpe anyway!

== 2011 Pass Holder Preview Day ==

The park received considerable criticism during their 2011 Pass Holder Preview day when approximately 97 people turned up, more than triple the expected amount.

Staff were unable to cope with the influx of people and a public toilet had to be opened in attempt to keep waste to a minimum.

X:\ No Way Out was required to run with one train, more than double the typical amount required on Pass Holder Preview Days.

== Rides & Attractions ==

=== Rollercoasters ===

*[[Colossus]]
*[[Nemesis Inferno]]
*[[Stealth]]
*[[SAW: The Ride]]
*[[X:\No Way Out]] - Now running forwards!!
*[[The swarm]]
*The Flying Fish

=== Thrill Rides ===

*[[Lost City|Rush]]
*[[Lost City|Vortex]]
*[[Lost City|Samurai]]
*[[Canada Creek|Slammer]]
*[[Calypso Quay|Detonator]]

=== Water Rides ===

*[[Tidal Wave]]
*[[Loggers Leap]]
*[[Neptunes Kingdom|Depth Charge]]
*[[Ribena Rumba Rapids]] ''(Due to the recent addition of Storm Surge Rumba Rapids suddenly doesn't feel so bad)''

=== Family Rides ===

*Mr Monkey's Banana Ride
*Rangers Carousel
*Rocky Express
*Quantum
*Storm in a Teacup

=== Misc ===

*[[SAW:Alive]]
*[[Time Voyagers]]
*<nowiki>Tidal Wave</nowiki> Wetzone

=== The One Nobody Likes ===

*2011 new attraction: A '[[Storm_Surge|Storm Surge]]', the literal Cypress Gardens castaway!

[[Category:Theme Park]]

Thorpe Park

2014-01-27T20:28:26Z

Djtruefitt:

''Oops, Maybe You Were looking For [[Fail]]''

''This article is about the only pikey stronghold south of Nottingham, for the caravan park in Cleethorpes, see [[Thorpe Park (the original and best)]].''

''(Some of this is graciously stolen from Unencyclopedia. Thanks!)''

[[File:Thorpe.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Their slogan is 'Twisted Pleasure... Twisted Pleasure in conning you out of your money, your dignity, your life's existence and '''NEW FOR 2011! Your eyesight!''']]

THORPE PARK (also known as [[Fail|Fail]] Park, Thorpe Krap, Hell or The place which we do not speak of) is one of Britain's worst nightmares and the British enthusiast's dream gone horribly wrong with added <nowiki>FAIL</nowiki>. A [[Chav|chav]] breeding ground and so called 'Thrill Capital', it's only thrills are the queuelines and the fact rides break down every day, on the hour and every hour. It is a place of terror for any family within children under 12 and no wait... let me rephrase that... it is Britain's most voted place of terror. Please note as of 2014 THORPE PARK is now known as THORPE PARK Resort (yes THORPE PARK is still in capitals, yet Resort isn't! Why you ask? We haven't a clue!)

The Scottish equivalent to Thorpe Park is [[M and Ds]]. No arguments. It just is.

The park's slogan is ''Join the queue for real fun!'' and it appears in all cases, this is true.

Sometimes, it's just less hassle to visit [[Chessington World of Adventures]]. Why? Because it's the land of [[John Wardley|God himself]]!

''See also: [[Thorpe Park: The Musical]]''

== History ==

The park was opened in 1979 as a very nice and decent place where everyone could go and have a jolly old time! Families liked it. Enthusiasts liked it. It had some lovely little rides and attractions too that were decent as well and sometimes... even good! Wonderful even. Of course this was back before the chavs were an invented species and the 21st century had come into motion.

Some former rides and attractions are as follows:

*Phantom Fantasia/Wicked Witches Haunt - Burnt down just after the news of a [[Intamin]] [[Roller_coaster|roller coaster]] came along. This was the Southern equivalent to [[Duel|The Haunted House]] at [[Alton Towers]], with a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbtftJXs0Ww 1990 onride] to prove it. There used to be an animatronic witch at the front of the ride who cackled at you for your stupid 80s mullet/90s shave. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ty_U9HPovTk#t=4m15s This is what remained of the fire incident. Look at what Intamin did to the park!]

*Magic Mill/Mr Rabbit's Tropical Travels - Also partially burnt down with Wicked Witches Haunt. This was a wonderful and pleasant ride that was the Southern equivalent to [[Toyland Tours]] at <nowiki>Alton Towers</nowiki> with another [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVOQD5IUp0g onride] to prove it. T'was rethemed to the Ranger County area and soon replaced by Nymphferior.

*Pirates 4D - Possibly one of the most decent 4D shows in the UK at the time with an animatronic pirate parrot, the film starred Leslie Nielsen and Eric Idle. The Naked Gun [[Meets|meets]] Monty Python with a big heap of pirate costumes? AHOY! Was removed for <s>[[Fail|FAIL]]</s> Time Voyagers.

*Thorpe Farm - Decent farm, [[Closed|closed]] because nobody cared for it anymore.

*Model World - Decent models of various visitor attractions around the world.

== Reliability record ==

Absolutely terrible. Put it this way - if you want to ride anything, don't bother spending £39, just walk round your local chav-infested town centre, it's a pretty similar experience as you usually cant ride anything decent at Thorpe anyway!

== 2011 Pass Holder Preview Day ==

The park received considerable criticism during their 2011 Pass Holder Preview day when approximately 97 people turned up, more than triple the expected amount.

Staff were unable to cope with the influx of people and a public toilet had to be opened in attempt to keep waste to a minimum.

X:\ No Way Out was required to run with one train, more than double the typical amount required on Pass Holder Preview Days.

== Rides & Attractions ==

=== Rollercoasters ===

*[[Colossus]]
*[[Nemesis Inferno]]
*[[Stealth]]
*[[SAW: The Ride]]
*[[X:\No Way Out]] - Now running forwards!!
*[[The swarm]]
*The Flying Fish

=== Thrill Rides ===

*[[Lost City|Rush]]
*[[Lost City|Vortex]]
*[[Lost City|Samurai]]
*[[Canada Creek|Slammer]]
*[[Calypso Quay|Detonator]]

=== Water Rides ===

*[[Tidal Wave]]
*[[Loggers Leap]]
*[[Neptunes Kingdom|Depth Charge]]
*[[Ribena Rumba Rapids]] ''(Due to the recent addition of Storm Surge Rumba Rapids suddenly doesn't feel so bad)''

=== Family Rides ===

*Mr Monkey's Banana Ride
*Rangers Carousel
*Rocky Express
*Quantum
*Storm in a Teacup

=== Misc ===

*[[SAW:Alive]]
*[[Time Voyagers]]
*<nowiki>Tidal Wave</nowiki> Wetzone

=== The One Nobody Likes ===

*2011 new attraction: A '[[Storm_Surge|Storm Surge]]', the literal Cypress Gardens castaway!

[[Category:Theme Park]]

Come Ride With Me

2011-01-28T22:35:38Z

Djtruefitt: /* Taaj Manzoor */

To make Come Ride With Me, the TTF's cameras have been given unprecedented access to one of Britain's busiest Theme Park Resorts. For months, the producers have followed anyone and everyone to produce this portrait of life at the cutting edge of the UK Theme Park Industry. From entrance plaza ticket staff to ride hosts, from theme park border control to crazy theme park fans, and from low-cost theme park owners to their customers, all human life is here!

== Precious Little ==

Deep in the heart of Katanga Canyon, Precious Little is operating the Runaway Mine Train.

* "Sit back, hold tight, PRAAIISE THE LORD!"

However today, the ride has had to close early.

* "Evil things have happened, got distracted me from putting the bolts inbetween the cars, an tragically the train has snapped in the tunnell. The Lord works in mysterrriouss waayyys! But God, in all his almighty wisdom, has allowed me to spend the rest of the day getting a hand manicure from the shrimps in Sharkbait Reef. PRAAIISE THE LORD!"

== Peter and Judith ==

At Guest Services, guests Peter and Judith have been queuing to make a complaint.

* Judith: "We have had the THEME PARK VISIT from HELL. It all started when we missed the turning for Thorpe Park and ended up at Alton Towers. Oh hum we thought, lets make the best of a terrible situation."
* Peter: "We were walking up the Oblivion que-"
* Judith: "I'll take it from here Peter. We were walking up the Oblivion queue when some ride host pulled the chain over the queue line to let single riders past. Never mind I thought, until I noticed that in doing so she had sliced Peter in two. Not one to complain I made Peter drag his bottom half up to the station."
* Peter: "Blood was spirting everywh-"
* Judith "Yes, thank you Peter. Honestly, I can't get a word in edgeways!"
* Peter: "Sorry Judith"
*Judith: "Quite so! Blood was spirting everywhere and it was a terrible mess, then to make matters worse, Peter was too short to ride, and we were shown the exit. We have had the THEME PARK TRIP from HELL! We should have went to Thorpe Park"
* Peter: "If I had to sum this day up, I'd say, disapointing"

== Simon and Jackie ==

Simon and Jackie Trent, are one of Alton Towers only married couple ride operators. Four years ago Simon had an affair, and the couple heading through a stormy time.

* Simon: "Call ten single riders please"
* Jackie: "Ten single ri-"
* Simon: "Check restraints"
* Jackie: "I haven't finish calling the riders yet. Can we do one thing at a time please?!"

Today, Jackie has spotted something unusual on the Team Air list:

* Jackie: "She's here. The ride host Simon had the affair with. There she is over there. She's been sent over from Team Oblivion to cover today. "Assume The Position", that's just what she said to Simon. Right before he droped into her hole. She doesn't know me, but I know her. Of course I'm not going to stoop to that level. I've moved on"

(In control room)
* Simon: "I'm just nipping to the loo"
* Jackie "Well if you're both going in the tunnel stay out of the guests sight, and clean you mess afterwards. The mops are in there."
* Simon: "Eh?"
* Jackie: "DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO! You and her! In the tunnel! Screwing each other again!"
* Simon: "That was a long time ago!"
* Jackie: "Don't get snappy at me! I'm not the one who had the affair, now sit down and be quiet."
...

* Jackie: "If you want tonight I'll order us a takeaway for tea"
* Simon: "... Yeah..."

== Taaj Manzoor ==

Taaj is one of Alton Towers's cleaning staff, however his real ambition in life is to become a ride designer.

OK, me most favouritist rides ever, in reversological order are Nemesis, Th13teen, Air, Th13teen after dark, The Beastie, SW6, Submission, Oblivion, Fourteen, Rita and me favouritist ride of all time is SW7, i mean know its not made yet but is gonna be the best ride ever, isn't it?

Come Ride With Me

2011-01-28T22:35:19Z

Djtruefitt: Added Taaj, you get me?

To make Come Ride With Me, the TTF's cameras have been given unprecedented access to one of Britain's busiest Theme Park Resorts. For months, the producers have followed anyone and everyone to produce this portrait of life at the cutting edge of the UK Theme Park Industry. From entrance plaza ticket staff to ride hosts, from theme park border control to crazy theme park fans, and from low-cost theme park owners to their customers, all human life is here!

== Precious Little ==

Deep in the heart of Katanga Canyon, Precious Little is operating the Runaway Mine Train.

* "Sit back, hold tight, PRAAIISE THE LORD!"

However today, the ride has had to close early.

* "Evil things have happened, got distracted me from putting the bolts inbetween the cars, an tragically the train has snapped in the tunnell. The Lord works in mysterrriouss waayyys! But God, in all his almighty wisdom, has allowed me to spend the rest of the day getting a hand manicure from the shrimps in Sharkbait Reef. PRAAIISE THE LORD!"

== Peter and Judith ==

At Guest Services, guests Peter and Judith have been queuing to make a complaint.

* Judith: "We have had the THEME PARK VISIT from HELL. It all started when we missed the turning for Thorpe Park and ended up at Alton Towers. Oh hum we thought, lets make the best of a terrible situation."
* Peter: "We were walking up the Oblivion que-"
* Judith: "I'll take it from here Peter. We were walking up the Oblivion queue when some ride host pulled the chain over the queue line to let single riders past. Never mind I thought, until I noticed that in doing so she had sliced Peter in two. Not one to complain I made Peter drag his bottom half up to the station."
* Peter: "Blood was spirting everywh-"
* Judith "Yes, thank you Peter. Honestly, I can't get a word in edgeways!"
* Peter: "Sorry Judith"
*Judith: "Quite so! Blood was spirting everywhere and it was a terrible mess, then to make matters worse, Peter was too short to ride, and we were shown the exit. We have had the THEME PARK TRIP from HELL! We should have went to Thorpe Park"
* Peter: "If I had to sum this day up, I'd say, disapointing"

== Simon and Jackie ==

Simon and Jackie Trent, are one of Alton Towers only married couple ride operators. Four years ago Simon had an affair, and the couple heading through a stormy time.

* Simon: "Call ten single riders please"
* Jackie: "Ten single ri-"
* Simon: "Check restraints"
* Jackie: "I haven't finish calling the riders yet. Can we do one thing at a time please?!"

Today, Jackie has spotted something unusual on the Team Air list:

* Jackie: "She's here. The ride host Simon had the affair with. There she is over there. She's been sent over from Team Oblivion to cover today. "Assume The Position", that's just what she said to Simon. Right before he droped into her hole. She doesn't know me, but I know her. Of course I'm not going to stoop to that level. I've moved on"

(In control room)
* Simon: "I'm just nipping to the loo"
* Jackie "Well if you're both going in the tunnel stay out of the guests sight, and clean you mess afterwards. The mops are in there."
* Simon: "Eh?"
* Jackie: "DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO! You and her! In the tunnel! Screwing each other again!"
* Simon: "That was a long time ago!"
* Jackie: "Don't get snappy at me! I'm not the one who had the affair, now sit down and be quiet."
...

* Jackie: "If you want tonight I'll order us a takeaway for tea"
* Simon: "... Yeah..."

== Taaj Manzoor ==

Taaj is one of Alton Towers's cleaning staff, however his real ambition in life is to become a film director.

OK, me most favouritist rides ever, in reversological order are Nemesis, Th13teen, Air, Th13teen after dark, The Beastie, SW6, Submission, Oblivion, Fourteen, Rita and me favouritist ride of all time is SW7, i mean know its not made yet but is gonna be the best ride ever, isn't it?

Oblivion

2010-11-20T21:40:02Z

Djtruefitt:

Located in [[X-Sector]], Oblivion opened in 1998 as the world's first vertical (well, almost vertical) drop [[Roller_coaster|roller coaster]]. Measured from the drop to the breaks it holds the record for world's shortest coaster in terms of duration. Oblivion was designed by [[GOD|God]]. Oblivion is also known for it's incessant, annoying queueline which spirals up a very, very, very steep and unecessary hill, which explains it's slight unpopularity. It also explains the shorter queueing cycle than [[Nemesis]], [[Air]] and [[Rita]], which all take over 200 minutes to queue whilst Oblivion's is under 200 minutes. However, the [[Lord of the Darkness]] 'attempts' to cheer visitors up through his informative, creepy but very entertaining videos. They sometimes work.

[[File:Lord of the Darkness5.jpg|right|thumb|300px|"Don't... look... down"! lol jks now u hav no bottle1]]
== Construction ==
During 1997, Fantasy World, as the area was then known, was mostly [[Closed|closed]] off to allow for the construction of the ride. Guards were stationed around the area to fend off enthusiasts trying to take photos of the ride. Like [[Thirteen|Thirteen]], a massive pit was dug which served as a mass grave for those caught trying to reveal the secrets of the ride. This was to double as a tunnel through which the ride passes.

== Secret Research ==
Not much about the nature of the track in the tunnel is known. It is widely speculated that shuttles do not in fact travel straight though and out the other side as it appears to observers. Unconfirmed rumours suggest that there is an underground station located adjacent to a secret research facility where <s>riders</s> victims are experimented on. Once these experiments are completed, they are taken back onto a shuttle which is launched out of the tunnel. This launch is carefully synchronised with a train dropping into the hole to avoid arousing suspicion. Victims are drugged so they have no memory of the experiments, and all they remember is a straight section of track. Delays to experiments are passed off as 'breakdowns', often undercover researches will use a mobile phone or camera on the lift hill to give an excuse to stop the 'ride'.

In an attempt to bring this appalling abuse of human rights to an end, MI5 stationed undercover agents in Farley near the entrance to [[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]], using the pseudonym of 'the Ropers'. Their mission was to bring the experiments to an end without attracting attention. They attempted to achieve this by complaining about the noise made by the ride, however so far they have been unsuccessful.

== Mini Museum ==
Within the queueline of Oblivion, there are several items and objects left over from previous attractions, made to look spooky in a secret research facility... queue. Most of these objects of enthusiast interest however are usually left to dust and are unfortunately useful for chavs who can't be arsed to stick their chewing gum in the bins. This has made many enthusiasts cry and nearly commit suicide down the tunnel.

[[Category: Roller Coaster]]
[[Category: Wardley's Index]]

Squirrel Nutty

2010-11-08T23:45:41Z

Djtruefitt:

High above the wonderful Storybook Land and kind of a bit above the edge bit of Old McDonald's Farm, is every enthusiast's dream ride, Squirrel Nutty, on which you actually don't even have to pedal yourself along. Fantastic!

It breaks several records such as the highest ride within either Storybook Land or Old McDonald's Farm ever, fastest ride within either Storybook Land or Old McDonald's Farm ever, most squirrel orientated ride within either Storybook Land or Old McDonald's Farm ever and the only ride at [[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]] that involves trees. Apart from [[Hex|Hex]]. And maybe sort of [[Th13teen|Th13teen]]. The [[The Flume|Log Flume]] used to be too. There may be others.

After being warned not to bang your head, you climb into your acorn, banging your head, then the acorn slides along the track. Is the acorn being pushed by the squirrel? This is unclear as we have no pre-show to explain the story of the ride, which is almost certainly the only bad thing about the whole experience.

Excitement on this ride hits its peak if you get to 'race a tractor', making Squirrel Nutty the closest we get to a racing coaster in the park (the fact that it's not a coaster is obviously outweighed by the fact the car racing themed ride doesn't actually race anything (apart from the people in 13's queue ;)...

[[Category: Ride]]

Squirrel Nutty

2010-11-08T23:45:17Z

Djtruefitt:

High above the wonderful Storybook Land and kind of a bit above the edge bit of Old McDonald's Farm, is every enthusiast's dream ride, Squirrel Nutty, on which you actually don't even have to pedal yourself along. Fantastic!

It breaks several records such as the highest ride within either Storybook Land or Old McDonald's Farm ever, fastest ride within either Storybook Land or Old McDonald's Farm ever, most squirrel orientated ride within either Storybook Land or Old McDonald's Farm ever and the only ride at [[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]] that involves trees. Apart from [[Hex|Hex]]. And maybe sort of [[Th13teen|Th13teen]]. The [[The Flume|Log Flume]] used to be too. There may be others.

After being warned not to bang your head, you climb into your acorn, banging your head, then the acorn slides along the track. Is the acorn being pushed by the squirrel? This is unclear as we have no pre-show to explain the story of the ride, which is almost certainly the only bad thing about the whole experience.

Excitement on this ride hits its peak if you get to 'race a tractor', making Squirrel Nutty the closest we get to a racing coaster in the park (the fact that it's not a coaster is obviously outweighed by the fact the car racing themed ride doesn't actually race anything(actually it races the people in 13's queue ;)...

[[Category: Ride]]