TowersStreet Wiki - User contributions [en]

Wardley's Jacket

2012-01-05T11:06:29Z

Kydog1299: Corrected a minuscule type #petty

[[File:WikiArticleAward.jpg|600px|centre]]

[[File:John_Haunted_House_Jacket.jpg|200px|thumb|right|The Jacket in the Haunted House circa pre-opening 1992.]]

[[File:WardleysJacket1.jpg|200px|thumb|right|The Jacket observing Nemesis pre-opening 1994.]]

[[File:MegaJacket.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Charlie Dinn borrows the Jackets power at the opening of Megafobia in 1996.]]

[[File:WardleysJacket2.jpg|200px|thumb|right|The Jacket discussing Oblivion pre-opening 1998.]]

[[File:WardleysJacket3.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Simon Thomas comparing the Jacket's awesome power to Air pre-opening 2002.]]

''In every video I watch with [[John_Wardley|John Wardley]] in, he's wearing that jacket and I dont think it's a coincidence.''

'''Wardley's Jacket''', also known as the 'holy garment', is so prominent in the theme park industry, the threads rumoured to go back to the creation of Uncle Frankenstein's Scream Machine at Barry Island and more likely later on the reinvention of [[Chessington World of Adventures]], that it has appeared as itself in the media and especially within the realms of Blue Peter.

It is sometimes said "That is how all enthusiasts started out... watching Blue Peter and seeing the wonderful power of [[John_Wardley|John Wardley]] and his Jacket." It is also sometimes said the Jacket is the British equivalent to [[Roland Mack]]'s tailored snazzy suits, but we all know who has the better garment.

=== The Jacket's Powers ===

''[[God]] I have to say this but LOVIN THE JACKET o.O''

The General Public themselves who have looked back on these press releases and noticed the regular occurence of Wardley's Jacket, are beginning to feel more blessed by God every day. The Jacket gives them the understanding towards becoming even the tiniest percentage of enthusiasm towards theme parks in later life. The Jacket gives them that helpful power to see the world through the eyes of us, who have seen John Wardley and his creations in reality.

The Jacket was said to have a soothing effect on the ride and thus helped the riders feel more tranquil about something they might have decided to have found 'crap', in simple terms. It also helped ensure the long likeable life of certain areas and rides around parks such as [[Alton Towers]] and Chessington.

The influence of the jacket reaches further, beyond the rides that Wardley designed. The Jacket makes an appearance at the opening of Megafobia in 1996. Was it merely coincidence that Megafobia became one of the world’s top wooden roller coasters?

=== Where Is The Jacket? ===

''It seems that whenever I see John Wardley he is always wearing that brown leather jacket XD He is truly a genius.''

At one point, much to the dismay of enthusiasts, the Jacket had gone missing from the public eye under unexplained circumstances. It made fans more distraught at the opening of [[Th13teen]], their negative opinions on the [[Roller_coaster|roller coaster]] caused by the missing Jacket. Instead of the Jacket, John Wardley was wearing a black waterproof coat, which didn't have the same effect as the Jacket, which led to many enthusiasts in mourning in the Opening Day rain and believing the Jacket to have gone for good.

No argument; the Jacket wasn't there, thus Th13teen was not blessed properly.

However it is argued [[Oblivion|Oblivion]] was not blessed properly for the Jacket was not present there, and instead a red/black coat was worn. But in a loophole involving one of [[Wardley's Heavenly Items]] (the [[Nemesis|Nemesis]] woolly cap) in attendance with the Jacket previously during the testing, the woolly cap's energy combined with the power of the Jacket which made doubly sure that Oblivion would be a big success. This is presented in both the Oblivion videos below.

==== NEW! The Jacket Was Never Missing... ====

In strange twist of events (No, not [[Hex|that tale with a twist]]), it has been reported by a famous brand of sauce that God gave up the powerful Jacket to a charity auction with the [http://www.coasterclub.org/ ECC]. But not on why it was auctioned and why God had given up that powerful item. This led to many questions being asked and almost to even a topic on this previously unknown event.

Some say it has been passed onto the next Messiah of the Theme Park industry...

Others say it has gone on permanent holiday to the sunny Seychelles...

All we know is, that was Wardley's Jacket.

Wow.

==== The Infamous Castrated 'Jacket' ====

But, in May 2010, a version of the jacket was spotted by another member when John Wardley was queueing for his 1987 creative input ride, the [[Runaway Mine Train]] and photo evidence has been recorded [http://forum.towerstimes.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=26830 here]. However, the jacket you see in the photo there looks similar to the Jacket in terms of design, colour and wearer except it is missing the faux-sheepskin collar, which gave the Jacket part of the source of it's ovewhelming power. Thus that jacket in the photo is known as 'Wardley's Castrated Jacket'.

=== Recorded Media Events Involving Wardley's Jacket ===

* '''NEW''' [http://forum.towerstimes.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=14683&start=780 ''Themes, Dreams and Scream Machines'' appearance]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6J8sglHd44#t=1m31s Nemesis on Blue Peter]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bgkuzpzi5xQ#t=1m16s Oblivion on Blue Peter]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQD9bw3c41w#t=1m18s Air on Blue Peter]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbIpgG0q2go#t=2m08s Nemesis on the 'The Scream Machine']
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHaMLv4BmpI#t=5m27s Oblivion's Testing on 'The Magic Factory']
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=260x8_sv4Qs#t=7m00s Park Life meets Wardley's Jacket during Air Opening]

[[Category: Wardley's Index]]

TST Chat

2011-10-04T19:14:39Z

Kydog1299:

Chat is another page on [[TowersTimes|TowersTimes]] for members and guests to interact through the use of internet instant messaging, used for these sole purposes: Chat, slam, annoy, tease and posting random rubbish. The chatroom is a regular buyer in [[Canned_Laughter|Canned Laughter]] as well as [[Tumbleweed]], both being part of the regular Chat routine if particular members are being failures at jokes or the room is just too quiet.

It was installed in the 1800s after the moderators and administrators of the TTF found that a <s>large</s> small proportion of members couldn't be bothered out of laziness to actually post IN the forums themselves. This included some of the moderators and administrators too.

TTF Chat is admittedly responsible for the jokes: [[Splat]], [[Where's Waldey?]] and [[VAN]], the latter of which was caused by a certain drunken Admin. There are more jokes around but these are the only ones bothered enough to appear so far.

TTF Chat ranges, when you appear in the room, between mere childishness and absolute immaturity and very rarely hitting the serious. Although when it comes to that level, some member has to say something very immature to bring back Chat into its normal levels.

Who knows what'll happen if there is a serious Chat session for more than a hour, maybe the world will spontaenously combust? Or [[Mack]] will cease to exist? Will [[John Wardley]] be turned into a lady and spend more time fussing over what shoes to wear on-park? Or perhaps [[Thorpe Park]] will be loved and admired by all?

Oh... the horrible possibilities are endless! Oh the humanity!

In order to be more 'savvy' and understandable with [[TowersTimes|TowersTimes]] members who stay within the realms of Chat and speak utter things you wouldn't understand, then please direct yourself to the [[GeNeDo Diagram]], which sums up the demographic of members.

== Moderation ==

TT Chat is overlooked by one, or several admins, who seem to permanently live there, and one or more bots - the most recent being [[John Wardley]] in robot form. Chat can get quite lively on a Friday or Saturday night so the [[ban stick]] - whilst an uncommon sight - does come out from time to time to provide some anal probing.

== Special Events ==

Every now and then TTF Chat will be graced by special events. A common, and highly popular one is radio, which may rear its head at any given time to provide chat with a bit of ambient music. To spot upcoming events like radio simply watch for the [http://prntscr.com/1mm5a banner] at the top of the forums.

== Epic Quotez ==

[01:42] <Joelio> i'm a bit of a nob
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[22:47] Diogo: after a hard days riding you need a proper bed

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[22:14] DannyJ: had swim in my mates poo today

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Kamfira: I can go to very far lengths!

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[22:37] * Vezza gets on her knees

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[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_III> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_I> lets see how this works out

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_II> lets see how this works out

[01:16] <Joel_I> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_III> lets see how this works out

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_II> lets see how this works out

[01:16] <Joel_III> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_I> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_I> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_I> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

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[01:30] <DannyJ> why doesnt [[Nemesis|nemesis]] fall of its track ?

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[09:45] <Joel> It's all foookin Bill's fault.

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[22:25] <Rowe> Seriously, no female will want Joelio-repellant

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[23:44] <DannyJ> can i bee the lanky suport slaper ?

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[21:52] Rowe: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.

[21:53] michael: Why Rowe?

[21:53] Rowe: Joelio's in the roooooooooooooooooooom!

[21:53] Mitch: Well... there's round 2 of "Strangest things to hear on joining [[TT|TT]] Chat"

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[21:05] ''Dorsia left the chat room.''

[21:05] Joelio: Hey Dorsia

[21:05] Joelio: Oh shit

[21:05] Air_Dan: SHE JUST LEFT KNOBHEAD.

[21:05] Air_Dan: That is all.

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[23:41] Craig: half price virgin ftw :P

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[23:34] <zs_chris> you obviously do not understand the complications of the aviation industry.

[23:34] <zs_chris> I could be a vital part of my job.

[23:34] <zs_chris> it*

[23:35] <Joelio> Lol, I think you're the most vital part of your job

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[23:38] * Ogoid|drunk|cooking|NOM is scared by the quantity of tequila and Vodka he has consumed in the past week

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[23:58] <Noraa> this chaT HAS TURNED INTO A ZYLOS/KHLORY FLIRTING SESH WITH JOELIO TRYING TO JOIN IN - THREESOMEEEEEEEEEE AND DANNYJ TALKING ABOUT RANDOM SHITE.

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[00:36] <Aly> "Oh wardley wardley, how was I supposed to know. That [[Th13teen|Th13teen]] was a kids ride. Someone from the marketing team told me. It was was a thril seekers ride wardley, thats why I marketed it so" *
* To the tune of "Hit my baby one more time"

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[23:49] <Rowe> I could go at it in bed for hours

[00:28] <Rowe> Glomping me will only prolong your time in bed

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[00:21] * Sasquatch DOESN'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.

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[21:41] <Rowe> "Chris is an amazing lover and nearly godlike at sex... oh and he was a good temp admin too."

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[22:48] <Sasquatch> How's this for a topic: 101 things we love about Rowe

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[23:23] <Parrybo> Rowe's cool... I want one

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[01:44] <Parrybo> i might knock one off then go to bed

[01:45] * Joely ears prick up

[01:45] <Ogoid> lol

[01:45] <Parrybo> ewww

[01:45] <Parrybo> that made me feel dirty

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[20:23] <Joely> Bet some PHP cunt made it like EST or something

[20:23] <Chris_> The function expects to be given a string containing a US English date format and will try to parse that format into a Unix timestamp

[20:24] <Aly> I love it when you two talk dirty :P

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[20:08] <Joely> Condoms, lube and 3 cucumbers.

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[21:24] <Sasquatch> Cheese you sexy beast!

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[21:55] <Sasquatch> Aly, you sexy beast!

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[21:53] <Noraa> oh, Aly_ WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU, BASTARDING CUNT!

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[19:10] <Rowe> Just go for it!

[19:10] <Islander> Hmm.

[19:10] <Islander> Do you, Chris_, accept Rowe to be your (probably) unlawful wedded wife_?

[19:10] <Chris_> yesh

[19:10] <Islander> kthnx

[19:11] <Islander> Rowe, d'you take dis man to be da same???????????????

[19:11] <Rowe> Yeeeees!

[19:11] <Islander> Innit bruv!

[19:11] <Islander> I now pronownce youz husband_ and wife_!

[19:11] <Chris_> yays

[19:11] - Rowe changes nick to Rowe_

[19:11] <Islander> You may snog the bride :)

[19:11] * Chris_ snogz the bride

[19:11] <Islander> Please go here, and pretend your names are Joan and Dave:

[19:11] <Islander> http://webspace.webring.com/people/cu/um_3734/wedding.htm

[19:12] <Islander> Ensure sound is on.

[19:12] <Chris_> wow at that website

[19:12] * Rowe_ enjoys the snogz and wraps her arms around Chris_' neck.

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[20:29] <Islander> We really need two chat rooms... a TTF chat room, and a clean version...

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[22:57] <Vez> wow craig :D

[22:59] <Craig> yeah im done now :P

[23:02] <Craig> did someone hear?

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[01:43] <Sasquatch> We can make love, yes?

[01:43] * BrettS passes chris a towel

[01:43] <DannyJ> ok Sasquatch

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[18:48] <D4n> Evening Joely, Joelio & Rowe :)

[18:49] <Rowe_> Oh and you're not going to say hello to X, Jupiter or Shent? That's very thoughtful of you!

[18:50] <D4n> I'll say hello to Jupiter & Shent, I dislike X though, so think I shall ignore him. :)

[18:50] * X shifts eyes on D4n

[18:51] <D4n> ... wha... wha... :o

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[20:54] <Rowe_> Ooof Chris_, this advantage of power is getting me hot tbh

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[21:20] <D4n> Lucky? I'd love to get kicked out of this Hell hole ;)

[21:20] <Rowe_> Yet you always come back

[21:21] <D4n> That's... true...

[21:21] <Rowe_> Lawl [[Fail|fail]]

[21:21] * D4n 's argument falls flat on it's face

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[20:06] * D4n was kicked by Wardley

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[23:33] * Chris_ lieks boobs

[23:33] * Rowe_ has boobs

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[00:29] <Chris_> Is it me, or is the text on chat kinda blurry this evening>

[00:29] <Rowe_> Just you, sweetie.

[00:29] <Chris_> I find it difficult to read

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[21:47] <Aly> !bumme

[21:47] * Joel winks at Aly

[21:47] <Joel> I'm not that much of a tart, Aly - at least give it a few minutes!

[21:47] * Joel loads up the Travelodge website, and books a room near Aly

[21:47] * Joel packs the broom handle and KY Jelly, and sets out in his car....

[21:47] <Aly> :P

[21:47] <Joel> RUN Aly !! ;)

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[23:52] * Ogoid wants pussy

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[01:14] <Bote> But you'd have a water pipe up your arse

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[19:10] *** Jem8472 has joined #tt

[19:10] <Diogo> Arrr!

[19:10] *** Jem8472 has quit (Quit: www.towerstimesforum.co.uk)

[19:10] <Diogo> arrr :(

[19:10] *** Jem8472 has joined #tt

[19:11] <Diogo> Arrr!

[19:11] <Jem8472> Hello!

[19:11] *** Aly has joined #tt

[19:11] <Diogo> arrr :(

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[22:19] <Chris_> I dont want to have sex with you aly!

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[23:20] <Michael> I won't be on for the rest of the night! :)

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[19:32] <Chris_> GLEE <3

[19:32] <Mike> 'Glee FTFW

[19:32] <Aly> POOF

[19:32] <Aly> EVEN BIGGER POOF!

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[21:51] <Zamperlas_Bitch> (aka Michael) Let's be honest, D4n's a sexy beast. :P

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[20:45] <Chris> omg my life sucks

[20:45] <Chris> I hate you all

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[20:53] <Rowe> It's up to John to reveal what his editing weapon is, not me.

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[23:12] <Michael> *' **I don't [/anal]

[23:14] <Islander> You don't anal? Huh?

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[01:02] <MattH> i want lees babies tbh

[01:02] <Chris> I thought you were straight?

[01:02] <MattH> well, only when im sober

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[22:32] <@Chris> I presume you and dave had the same issue? :P

[22:32] <Rowe> Yup.

[22:32] <Rowe> We just didn't know how to do it...

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[19:42] <Bote> "Are you ready weeds? Start tumblin'!"

[19:42] <SasqWatch> ^ lol

[19:42] <Bote> These weeds are made for tumblin'. And that's just what they'll do.

[19:42] <Bote> One of these days these weeds are guna tumble all over you

[19:43] <Bote> ba da da da da da da

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(Chris takes a look at Grindr)

[21:50] <Aly> why did you open it? :P

[21:51] * Ian knows Chris secretly bookmarked it

[21:51] * Aly pulls Chris out the closet :p

[21:51] <Chris> I wanted to see what their website was like!

[21:51] <Aly> full of gays? :P

[21:52] <Chris> its yellow ;)

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[22:02] <Chris> This chat needs more boobs

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[22:22] <Jordan> So... who's voting Ultimate then? :P

[22:22] <Chris> not me...

[22:22] <Jordan> Why not Chris?

[22:22] <Chris> Because I dont rate it

[22:23] <Chris> I find it painful, dangerous and poorly designed

[22:23] <Chris> it also has no theming :P

[22:23] <Jordan> :P

[22:23] <ILoveLWV> I find YOU painful, dangerous and poorly designed >_>

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[20:29] Aly: nope, I'm a gay!

[20:30] Aly: its true. honest!

[20:30] • Aly bums Chris as proof

[20:30] Chris: :|

[20:30] Jordan: Tut tut! :P

[20:30] Rowie: Chris.

[20:31] Rowie: Invest in a chastity belt for Opening Meet.

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[02:04] <Chris> Hey everyone, Joel is making me do work at 2am. Sympathy plox

[02:04] <Joel> !k Chris Get on with it.

[02:04] *** Chris has been kicked by X (Get on with it.)

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[23:02] <Islander> I think Rowe just killed Dave.

[23:02] <Rowe> That was Dave's fault tbh.

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[22:28] <Craig> aly wouldnt come out of his mother's vagina until a light up set of stairs were placed there and he was able to mince down with a feather boa on

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[23:03] <DormiensDave> i'm 26, thats almost pension age in TTF

[23:04] <Aly> noo to colours :P

[23:04] <Ogoid> OI!

[23:04] <Aly> Pension Age?

[23:04] <DormiensDave> and if anyone tels Badger i said that i will kill them

[23:04] <Aly> You practically DEAD and BURIED to most TTF'ers

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[21:01] <Jem8472> Hellllllo!

[21:01] <Squashwatch> How the fucking gypsy cunt are you?

[21:01] <zs_chris> shit, bugger, arsehole, piss, cock, fart.

[21:01] <Ogoid> Flange!

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[21:27] <Ogiod> call that big?

[21:27] <Aly> well it is for the virgins ;)

[21:27] <Ogiod> I'm 8' mate ;)

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[19:19] <Ian> I love joels cock.

[19:19] <Ian> end of.

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[19:26] <Ian> Ooooh :P

[19:26] <Ian> I'll give you £20 to take me Michael ;)

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[20:03] * Aly gags Ian!

[20:04] <Ian> Kinky ;)

[20:04] <Aly> whats kinky about gagging you Ian!: PO

[20:04] <Aly> Filthy Boy!

[20:04] <Ian> Maybe I'm into that sort of thing Aly

[20:04] <Aly> :O

[20:05] * Aly backs away slowly from Ian!

[20:05] <Aly> Whatever flots yer Bote

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[20:30] <Joel> If it involves my arse, then yes :P

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[22:46] * Benedique left the chat room. (Quit: takeaway timeeeeeeee)

[22:46] <Joelio> <pervy comment towards dom>

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[22:36] <SAM93> And Aly... You can fuck me if you wish... Not too fussed tbh

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[23:18] <Jem8472> ummmm cheese and biscuits FTW!

[23:18] <Magrathea> Since when has Rowe been "biscuits"? :P

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[20:37] <Benedique> net split?

[20:37] <Sasquatch> Lamesplit!!

[20:37] <Magrathea> FROGSPLIT!

[20:37] <Michael> net split :D

[20:37] <Sasquatch> sad faaaaace!!

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[20:54] <Chris> Disney, Disney, Disney. *faps*

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[17:19] <@Ian> Hey Joel :D

[17:19] <~Joel> Hello!

[17:21] <@Ian> So what's shakin' then?

[17:22] * ~Joel thinks about this one

[17:22] <~Joel> Japan?

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[23:04] <Aly> gets me WELL horny ;)

[23:04] <Joel> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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[21:20] * Chris also gives aly one...

[21:20] <Chris> Aly <3

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[20:51] * Joel wants to see Chris hunt the prey, Hollie, down in a true Scouse fashion

[20:52] * Chris turns on the legendary scouse/wilsy charm

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[00:10] <Joelio> Ellie: Have you ever propped up your bedsheets with your c**k to read a book at night?

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[21:14] <nickdaegg> But I don't want to leave my car in the Vane car park if it means that someone's going to fervently rub their crotch on it

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[23:15] <Chris> #and the world spins round and round

[23:15] <Chris> *earth

[23:15] <Ian> :P

[23:15] <Chris> actually Ive forgot the words

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[01:46] * Bear grabs Dar and shakes his * violently

[01:46] <Bear> ...

[01:46] <Bear> ...

[01:47] <Bear> *Hand

[01:47] <Dar> :O

[01:47] <Dar> There was a moment that I panicked tbh!

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[21:33:38] <Benedique> Guys who can sing and play instruments capture my heart instantly

[21:33:50] Craig can play an epic triangle

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[21:28] <Dar> Jesus 'Chris't, it wasn't a pun. Frankly I'm s'Martin'g from the 'Dar't of meanness that you shot towards me. It's un'Bear'able.

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[21:22] <D4n> There's also something catchy about - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcy6e8qM9U4 ;)

[21:23] <Dar> There's something catchy about the clap.

[21:23] <Dar> Moral: Not all catchy things are good

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[19:04] <Magrathea> You can spot my crotch at some points but that's about it.

[19:05] <D4n> Ooooh... yipee!

[19:05] <Magrathea> Sex sells.

[19:07] <D4n> Indeed. I'm enjoying viewing your crotch so much that I only have one hand free to write this comment. ;)

[19:07] Magrathea runs. Far far away.

[19:09] <D4n> Although... working on the "sex sells" basis... surely Rowe should have been scripted to say "I'm weeeet" rather than "I'm soaaaaaaked"... yar?

[19:10] <Magrathea> She does later say "I'm wet on camera.."

[19:10] <D4n> Niiice. :P

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[02:06] * MattH remembers... Fleety is only a friend, and will stay that way, but she IS HAWT!

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[21:57] <Ogoid> basicly, TTF's just one big gang bang, isnt it?

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[21:35] <D4n> I wouldn't recommend riding Joelio tbh.

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[22:36] <@Crofty> take your boobs with you please. xx

[22:36] <Ellie> i will :)

[22:36] Ellie has quit (Quit: www.towerstimesforum.co.uk).

[22:36] <Joelio> Lol

[22:37] <Joelio> Her Norks are Corkers tbh

[22:37] <Joelio> :)

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[02:44] <Ogoid> its not a 90s dance tune without the following : 1) random keyboard middle 8 that bears no relation the the rest of the song, and 2) a video filmed at a fun fair! :P

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[19:03] <Joel|DotCom> Raggghhhh

[19:03] <Joel|DotCom> Time to give arms a work out

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[02:22:57] Joelio slips a shit out, like an artilery piece would eject a shell.

[02:23:10] <@Craig> how errr lovely

[02:23:21] <Joelio> :P

[02:23:34] <Joelio> Its very romantic Craig, tbh.

[02:23:38] <@Craig> im sure it is

[02:24:45] <Joelio> I won't oversell it tbh, its just shit slipping out of a shaft like a bob skeleton sportsman would slip and slide around a luge track.

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[23:20] <James> Argh! I just creamed so loudly.

[23:20] <James> :O

[23:20] <James> *screamed

[23:20] <Rowe> LOL

[23:20] <James> SCREAMED.

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[22:56] <Magrathea> That's MY crotch being violated!

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[22:13:37] <Joelio> No idea Mike, i'm sat at home bollock naked, wanking like a monkey

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[22:56:14] Rowe has quit (Quit: *Disappears in a flash of purple smoke, complete with lightning sound effects, the flutter of bats and Dave's evil laughter in the background.).

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[20:50] <Jordan> SamWan, are you the woman in the relationship then? :P

[20:50] <SamWan> Nope....

[20:50] <Sam> I can't imagine Sam being a top

[20:50] <Sam> No offence...

[20:51] <SamWan> Stfu Sam

[20:51] <SamWan> I can be a top all I like!!!

[20:51] <Sam> Lol actually I guess you have to be top with R Tuggers

[20:51] <Jared> Wait, explain the term "Top" for me in this sense?

[20:52] <Sam> If it was the other way round you'd be all "...is it in yet? I can't feel it..."

----

[10:48] <Mike> .....basically thats how wet TTF trolls get when they come into contact with me ;) :P

[10:48] <D4n> You realise how dirty that sounds, right? :P

[10:49] <Mike> thankfully, not many people are here to see it :P

[10:49] <D4n> Wiki tbh.

[10:49] <Mike> You wouldnt dare xD

----

[00:46] *** Rowe quit (Quit: *Sets off two massive glitter cannons, a group of rainbow gels with a drumroll and exits promptly via trap door* Didn't want to make a big deal out of leaving, bye all!)

----

[02:40] <JohnWan> Sam, I think you're BARKING up the wrong tree

[02:41] <JohnWan> Sam, you're making a PAW effort at a comeback.

[02:42] <Joelio> John, you're being un-FUR

[02:42] <Ogoid> I'm sure you will COLLAR yourself a man soon enough Sam ;)

[02:42] <Chris> this is turning into an interesting TAIL

[02:42] <JohnWan> Just don't LEAD anyone on.

[02:43] <Aly> I'm sure Sam will VET the new men accordingly ;)

[02:44] <Aly> perhaps Sam wants 101 dominations?

[02:45] <Jordan> Aly, I think Sam wants to give you a good HOUNDing ;-)

[02:46] <Joelio> Lets put a HALTER on Johns shit puns.

[02:46] <Benedique> Can we all stop SNIFFING around the issue here please.

[02:49] <Jordan> Go FETCH the wiki page someone

----

[21:12] <Ogoid> Urgh, why do young teen girls have to SCREAM so much???

----

[04:29] <Joelio> for my half 4 wank Craig, it'll be YOU today, not dom

----

<nowiki>[23:29:36] <~Joel> "Location of vehicle: ___ LOWER BITTEL RESEVOIR (in the water) ___"</nowiki>

<nowiki>[23:30:35] <~Joel> "Sketch the accident: ~~~~~~~~[ Tesco.com ]D~~~~~~~~</nowiki>

<nowiki>[23:30:43] <~Joel> ~ = water</nowiki>

----

[00:53] <Craig> stu wouldn't know subtlety if it came up and anally raped him

----

[20:15:38] <Martin> "Look at those boobs" "Forget those, look at Nemie's new wheels!"

[20:15:44] <Magrathea> ^this

[20:15:57] <Magrathea> Wheels <3

[20:15:58] Magrathea has quit (Quit: Magrathea).

[20:16:13] <@Chris> ^ he got too excited about the wheels

----

[02:04:00] <AdamJames> I'm as straight as a lamppost.

[02:04:05] <AdamJames> I think that just about covers it.

[02:04:13] <Dan77> what happeds if a car crashes in to it though?

----

[20:48] <Jared> Who wants to see Rowe's bum? Haha

[20:47] • Ogoid throws his head back and emits a dirty laugh

[20:48] <Joelio> Rowe's bum ftw

----

[23:47] <SAM93> Craig is fat and old!!!

----

[00:42:50] DannyJ cums ove the RR summer release

[00:43:11] <StevieHunter> has the CT out yet?

[00:43:43] <towersfreak> stop speaking in acronims

[00:44:48] <towersfreak> brb

----

[00:52] <Joelio> Dom doesn't know what she's let herself into

[00:52] <Dar> last two words are the wrong way round Joelio

----

[20:57:00] <Hello> FUCK THIS ALTON TOWERS IS THE BIGGEST PIECE OF SHIT ON EARTH WHY ARE YOU SAD ENOUGH TO BE ON A FORUM ABOUT IT

----

[02:16] <Rowe> Sex music comes on.

----

[21:10] <Hark> Who got fingered?

[21:10] <Ian> Eww

[21:10] <Craig> oh god yeah!

----

[22:17] <DormiensDave> Is the Ellie in here big breasted small blond ellie or big breasted violent tall ellie?

----

Drunken gibberish postings by Dom & Aly

[01:38:13] <DominiqueAndAly> y46u

[01:38:14] <DominiqueAndAly> i76

[01:38:15] <DominiqueAndAly> 65

[01:38:16] <DominiqueAndAly> t

[01:38:17] <DominiqueAndAly> i

[01:38:18] <DominiqueAndAly> y5

[01:38:19] <DominiqueAndAly> yu

[01:38:20] <Joelio> We could probably summarise it

'''removed 8 posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:38:28] <Jem8472> nahhhhh

'''removed 8 more posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:38:36] <Jem8472> post the whole mental rambling

'''removed yet another 8 posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:38:44] <Jem8472> anyway what happened to the flood kick thing?

[01:38:44] <DominiqueAndAly> jj

[01:38:45] <Joelio> DominiqueAndAly: <various drunk tyipngs>

'''this time 11 posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:38:56] <Joelio> no idea, but I wish it was back

[01:38:56] <DominiqueAndAly> trh

[01:38:57] <DominiqueAndAly> tt

[01:38:58] <DominiqueAndAly> hy

[01:38:59] <Jem8472> but would not be as funny as this TBH

'''this time 18 posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:39:17] DominiqueAndAly has quit (Excess Flood).

[01:39:19] <Jem8472> Maybe we should bill them for wasting chat space

[01:39:23] DominiqueAndAly joined the channel.

[01:39:23] <Jem8472> about fooking time

[01:39:27] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:27] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:27] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:27] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:28] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:28] <Joelio> LOL

'''removed lots of shit posting by DominiqueAndAly something along the lines of:'''

[01:39:28] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:28] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:40:54] DominiqueAndAly is now known as Craih.

[01:40:59] <Craih> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:40:59] <Joelio> my ego side enjoys Dom calling my name :P

'''5 minuets of Authentic Frontier Gibberish removed'''

[01:45:46] Craih is now known as Craig.

[01:45:50] <Craig> lol

[01:45:51] <Craig> :P

[01:45:52] Craig is now known as lol.

[01:45:58] <lol> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:45:58] <lol> hh

[01:50:40] <Joelio> :)

[01:55:44] <lol> God damn it I'v e forgoet craigs password in my drunken state

[01:57:31] <Joelio> his password is

[01:57:39] <Joelio> "CockFan99"

[01:58:40] <Joelio> due to his love of cock.

[01:58:57] <Joelio> Its a bit obvious though as he's quite gay

----

<kamfira> id offer nick varney one tbh
(The above was obviously said in relation to MAPs

----

[20:39:22] <Jared> Geez. Stop typing my name... I'm trying to transfer 1TB of photos atm...

[20:39:32] <D4n> Sorry Jared.

[20:39:39] <D4n> I'll stop now

[20:39:40] <D4n> ... Jared.

[20:39:47] <Jared> WHAT

[20:39:48] <Oli> Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared ;D

[20:39:59] Aly thinks Jared is being unreasonable

[20:40:02] <Aly> :P

[20:40:04] <D4n> I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch your name... Jared isit?

[20:40:08] Jared leaves

----

[19:02:55] <Oli> Periods?

[19:03:05] <Georgia> :O

[19:03:13] <Oli> ...

[19:03:18] <D4n> Not quite the same thing, Oli. ;)

[19:03:23] <@Magrathea> Ahhhh, fair enough :)

[19:03:27] <Oli> D4n said it not me...

[19:03:34] <D4n> You lying bastard.

[19:03:37] <D4n> ;)

[19:03:37] <Oli> :P

[19:03:42] <@Magrathea> Stop hiding behind your boyfriend, Oli :P

[19:03:48] <D4n> OI.

[19:03:52] <Oli> No Homo Boyfriends though...

[19:04:01] <@Magrathea> pffft. I've known about you two for AGES.

[19:04:08] <Oli> Shush JIM

[19:04:10] <Jem8472> I know I have not been in chat recently but D4n now gay?

[19:04:15] <D4n> NO.

[19:04:18] <Oli> lol

[19:04:18] <D4n> No no no.

[19:04:20] <D4n> ARGGGGH

[19:04:21] <Jem8472> things move fast round here

[19:04:21] <Rowe> LOL. D4n. Gay.

[19:04:21] D4n has quit (Client exited).

[19:04:28] <Jem8472> radge quit?

[19:04:31] <Oli> Rage Quit!

[19:04:34] <@Magrathea> :P

----

[19:40] <Ogoid> OH. My. WARDLEY! O.O How have I never eaten BBQ Rib flavour Doritos until now?!?

[19:40] Ogoid noms furiously

[19:40] <Rowe> Are they gorgeous?

[19:40] <Rowe> TELL ME THEY'RE GORGEOUS!

[19:40] <Ogoid> It's like eating an orgasm.

----

[22:25] <Benedique> my womb is reserved for Craig Bates tbh

----
[22:53:30] <kamfira> i love the front

[22:53:40] <oldgitBEN> i love it at the back *giggles*

[22:53:41] Aly prefers the back

[22:53:45] <kamfira> but then i love to be jumped up on

[22:53:48] <Ogoid> you would, Aly

[22:53:48] <kamfira> well, this says it all

[22:53:49] Aly winks at Ben

[22:53:54] <Ogoid> brb

[22:54:01] <Aly> :P

[22:54:16] <Joelio> Hmm, Vez loves being jumped on

----

[20:38:06] <@Ian> I'm still here Vez :P

[20:38:15] <@Ian> (Not sure if that's a good thing)

[20:38:17] <kamfira> YAY

[20:38:19] <kamfira> lets get baby making

----

21:21 Ian Under where your arse was LOL!

21:21 Ian You were sat on it

----

22:55 <Joelio> fuck my pasty white skin :P

----

[23:18] <@Magrathea> Camelot Accident FTL :|

[23:18] <Sam> Oooh I need to do my hourly news check to see if that cunt has been killed yet

(NOTE: Sam was referring to Gadaffi)

----

[20:03] <Dagan> fist him :P

[20:03] <TowersFreak> ewwwww

[20:03] <Dagan> um.. wait...

[20:03] <@Chris> :o

[20:03] <Jonathan> No, Dagan. Just no.

[20:03] <TowersFreak> lmao

[20:04] <Joelio> LOL Dagan!

----

[23:49:18] <natalie> I still have boobs yes joelio

[23:49:25] <Joelio> I know you do Nat! :D

[23:49:32] <Jem8472> Joelio you are obessed with Boobs! :P

[23:49:34] <Jem8472> http://youtu.be/Q5OZCWaJBdc

[23:49:35] <Jem8472> WANT

[23:49:41] <Joelio> I mean err... you have boobs, haven't noticed?

[23:50:18] <natalie> haha lol I'll get em out for you one day when you grow up lol

[23:50:28] <@Chris> :O

[23:50:43] <Towers-Loaf> :O

[23:50:55] <Towers-Loaf> thinking about we were on the last public train that ever went round (the others being media, compitition winners and staff)

[23:50:57] <Jem8472> *listens for the scrabble of keyboards to get that quote on the wiki*

----

[21:47] <kamfira> OH FOR FUCKS SAKE STOP FUCKING TALKING ABOUT SHITECRAFT

[21:47] <DanB> I WILL IF YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT FUCKING HORSES ALL THE TIME!

----

[18:47] <Joelio> Nemesis theme is great to have an angry wank to...

----

[00:39] <Benedique> FUCKING ALTON TOWERS

[00:39] <Benedique> I've just been chewing on the fish shower gel from ATH and it's burst in my mouth

[00:39] <Benedique> all I can taste is nasty shower gel ... EURGHHHHHHHHHH

[00:40] <Joelio> was that practice for Saturday Dom? :P

[00:40] <Benedique> eurghhh I'm spitting bubbles and soap suds :'(

[00:40] <@Ian> Foaming at the mouth are we Dom?

----

[15:42:54] <Applejack> Yay!

[15:42:57] <Mike> tbh - looks-wise, there isnt mcuh difference between Applejack and this D4n guy I know....

[15:43:04] <Georgia> LOLOLOLOLOL.

[15:43:05] <Rarity> Mike do you have a problem with moi?

[15:43:12] <Applejack> I am D4n's twin.

[15:43:16] <Applejack> Neiiigghh.

[15:43:20] <Fluttershy> Applejack's a bitch though. :(

[15:43:25] <Applejack> :'(

[15:43:31] <Fluttershy> Jus' sayin'

[15:43:38] <Fluttershy> Applejack and Rainbow Dash ftl.

[15:43:46] <Fluttershy> Fluttershy and Pinkie <3

[15:43:51] <Rarity> OI.

[15:43:52] <Mike> Just figured out who is who :P

[15:43:55] <Applejack> Pinkie and Flutteryshy FTFL.

[15:43:56] <Rarity> What about me?

[15:44:07] Mike thinks AppleJack and Rarity should kiss and make up :P

[15:44:14] <Fluttershy> Flutteryshy? Piss off Applejack.

[15:44:14] Mike gets popcorn

[15:44:29] <Rarity> I, for one, am not a lesbian.

[15:44:34] <Mike> Kinky roleplaying isit now? :P

[15:44:36] <Applejack> Typo you noob.

[15:45:00] <Georgia> I think it is Mike...

[15:45:09] <Georgia> Applejack.... just.... go away.

[15:45:31] <Mike> Well, considering you're controlling him, thats not hard ;) :P

[15:45:39] <Rarity> Georgia would you like a makeover?

[15:45:52] <Georgia> Uhhmm... I'm not really a girly girl. :)

[15:46:02] <Fluttershy> Mike... how are you managing to control 3 accounts at once? :P

[15:46:07] <Rarity> You disappoint me

[15:46:10] <Mike> I m not ;P

[15:46:16] <Fluttershy> Clearly, you are.

[15:46:17] <Applejack> This is Mike.

[15:46:20] <Rarity> I'm not Mike

[15:46:23] <Applejack> I have taken Applejack hostage.

[15:46:35] <Fluttershy> You ARE Applejack...

[15:46:49] <Applejack> This is Mike currently typing, noob.

[15:46:51] <Mike> :P

[15:46:57] <Mike> It blatenty isnt ;)

[15:47:03] <Applejack> Yes it issss!

[15:47:12] <Georgia> Sorry Rarity:(

[15:47:16] <Mike> Applejack Username: georgiaa

[15:47:20] <Rarity> You should be :(

[15:47:25] <Mike> (from IRC's getinfo command :P )

[15:47:33] <Rarity> None of my pony friends are as glamorous as I.

[15:47:34] <Applejack> You lie.

[15:47:35] <Applejack> I lie!

[15:47:38] <Applejack> Muhhahahahaaaaa.

[15:47:39] <Rarity> And nor are you. :(

[15:48:07] <Georgia> :(

[15:48:24] <Applejack> I like to eat sprout milkshake.

[15:48:33] <Rarity> Hmm... perhaps I could tempt Mike?

[15:48:38] <Applejack> 'Cos Imma frickin pony.

[15:48:39] <Rarity> Gays like makeovers, yar?

[15:48:41] <Georgia> LOL yeah!

[15:48:52] <Fluttershy> :P

[15:49:34] <Rarity> I think I might have offended him.

[15:49:35] Mike hides

[15:49:40] <Rarity> How unfortunate.

[15:49:46] <Rarity> ... that said. I can't offend myself.

[15:49:58] Fluttershy is confused now. :P

[15:50:00] Applejack Licks Mike.

[15:50:07] <Fluttershy> Oh. Dear. God.

[15:50:08] <Mike> :O

[15:50:10] Applejack Tenderly.

[15:50:20] Mike could get used to this tbh

[15:50:25] <Mike> :P

[15:50:26] <Applejack> ;)

[15:50:29] <Georgia> :|

[15:50:40] <Rarity> I, unlike Applejack, have far too much decency to lick one.

[15:50:59] <Rarity> Disgusting habit

[15:51:03] Applejack Shats on Rarity for having too much decency.

[15:51:09] <Rarity> MY MANE!

[15:51:12] <Rarity> YOU BITCH!

[15:51:17] <Applejack> :):)

[15:51:28] Fluttershy notes that the last 15 minutes of chat has ALL been Wiki-worthy. :P

[15:51:41] <Applejack> HEY EVERYONE.

[15:51:46] <Applejack> :)

[15:51:52] <Rarity> Piss off yo' bitch.

[15:51:56] <Rarity> Stealing my screen-time.

[15:52:05] <Fluttershy> Rarity uses full-stops <3

[15:52:12] <Fluttershy> ... nice tactic there, Mike.

[15:52:19] <Fluttershy> ... make people think that it's me. :P

[15:52:20] Applejack Shoots out another load of shat for Rarity's mane.

[15:52:32] <Rarity> I shall not tolerate such behaviour.

[15:52:37] <Applejack> You just did.:)

[15:52:47] <Rarity> I shall report you to the appropriate authorities.

[15:52:50] <Applejack> :D

[15:53:07] <Rarity> You whore.

[15:53:10] <Applejack> ;)

[15:53:17] <Applejack> You luurrrvveee it really.

[15:53:38] <Rarity> I do not.

[15:53:46] <Applejack> You do.

[15:54:12] <Rarity> I shall not enter a fruitless debate in which I am arguing regarding my own opinion.

[15:54:16] <Rarity> I am aware of my opinion.

[15:54:19] <Rarity> You are not.

[15:54:34] Fluttershy chants "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

[15:55:10] Rarity has quit (Client exited).

[15:55:11] Applejack Can't really be bothered to figure out what Rarity just said, so pukes up a load of carrots.

[15:55:16] <Fluttershy> ^ Rage quit. :P

----

[01:31:59] Jem8472 pokes Joelios lifeless body with a stick

[01:32:17] <Jem8472> Nope dead

----

[01:45:31] <Jen> I'll get naked on webcam Joelio

[01:45:40] <Ogoid> pics or gtfo!

----

[23:47:30] <Scott> Wet t-shirt compy for Project Balloon

[23:47:38] <Ogoid> YES!

[23:47:38] <&Chris> I like this idea

[23:47:40] <Mike> ^^^tthis!

----

[20:09:32] Magrathea reappears at the mention of estrogen

TST Chat

2011-08-04T19:56:05Z

Kydog1299:

TST Chat

2011-08-04T19:55:36Z

Kydog1299:

Chat is another page on [[TowersTimes|TowersTimes]] for members and guests to interact through the use of internet instant messaging, used for these sole purposes: Chat, slam, annoy, tease and posting random rubbish. The chatroom is a regular buyer in [[Canned_Laughter|Canned Laughter]] as well as [[Tumbleweed]], both being part of the regular Chat routine if particular members are being failures at jokes or the room is just too quiet.

It was installed in the 1800s after the moderators and administrators of the TTF found that a <s>large</s> small proportion of members couldn't be bothered out of laziness to actually post IN the forums themselves. This included some of the moderators and administrators too.

TTF Chat is admittedly responsible for the jokes: [[Splat]], [[Where's Waldey?]] and [[VAN]], the latter of which was caused by a certain drunken Admin. There are more jokes around but these are the only ones bothered enough to appear so far.

TTF Chat ranges, when you appear in the room, between mere childishness and absolute immaturity and very rarely hitting the serious. Although when it comes to that level, some member has to say something very immature to bring back Chat into its normal levels.

Who knows what'll happen if there is a serious Chat session for more than a hour, maybe the world will spontaenously combust? Or [[Mack]] will cease to exist? Will [[John Wardley]] be turned into a lady and spend more time fussing over what shoes to wear on-park? Or perhaps [[Thorpe Park]] will be loved and admired by all?

Oh... the horrible possibilities are endless! Oh the humanity!

In order to be more 'savvy' and understandable with [[TowersTimes|TowersTimes]] members who stay within the realms of Chat and speak utter things you wouldn't understand, then please direct yourself to the [[GeNeDo Diagram]], which sums up the demographic of members.

== Moderation ==

TT Chat is overlooked by one, or several admins, who seem to permanently live there, and one or more bots - the most recent being [[John Wardley]] in robot form. Chat can get quite lively on a Friday or Saturday night so the [[ban stick]] - whilst an uncommon sight - does come out from time to time to provide some anal probing.

== Special Events ==

Every now and then TTF Chat will be graced by special events. A common, and highly popular one is radio, which may rear its head at any given time to provide chat with a bit of ambient music. To spot upcoming events like radio simply watch for the [http://prntscr.com/1mm5a banner] at the top of the forums.

== Epic Quotez ==

[01:42] <Joelio> i'm a bit of a nob
----

[22:47] Diogo: after a hard days riding you need a proper bed

----

[22:14] DannyJ: had swim in my mates poo today

----

Kamfira: I can go to very far lengths!

----

[22:37] * Vezza gets on her knees

----

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_III> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_I> lets see how this works out

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_II> lets see how this works out

[01:16] <Joel_I> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_III> lets see how this works out

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_II> lets see how this works out

[01:16] <Joel_III> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_I> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_I> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_I> me and my?

[01:16] <Joel_II> me and my?

----

[01:30] <DannyJ> why doesnt [[Nemesis|nemesis]] fall of its track ?

----

[09:45] <Joel> It's all foookin Bill's fault.

----

[22:25] <Rowe> Seriously, no female will want Joelio-repellant

----

[23:44] <DannyJ> can i bee the lanky suport slaper ?

----

[21:52] Rowe: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.

[21:53] michael: Why Rowe?

[21:53] Rowe: Joelio's in the roooooooooooooooooooom!

[21:53] Mitch: Well... there's round 2 of "Strangest things to hear on joining [[TT|TT]] Chat"

----

[21:05] ''Dorsia left the chat room.''

[21:05] Joelio: Hey Dorsia

[21:05] Joelio: Oh shit

[21:05] Air_Dan: SHE JUST LEFT KNOBHEAD.

[21:05] Air_Dan: That is all.

----

[23:41] Craig: half price virgin ftw :P

----

[23:34] <zs_chris> you obviously do not understand the complications of the aviation industry.

[23:34] <zs_chris> I could be a vital part of my job.

[23:34] <zs_chris> it*

[23:35] <Joelio> Lol, I think you're the most vital part of your job

----

[23:38] * Ogoid|drunk|cooking|NOM is scared by the quantity of tequila and Vodka he has consumed in the past week

----

[23:58] <Noraa> this chaT HAS TURNED INTO A ZYLOS/KHLORY FLIRTING SESH WITH JOELIO TRYING TO JOIN IN - THREESOMEEEEEEEEEE AND DANNYJ TALKING ABOUT RANDOM SHITE.

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[00:36] <Aly> "Oh wardley wardley, how was I supposed to know. That [[Th13teen|Th13teen]] was a kids ride. Someone from the marketing team told me. It was was a thril seekers ride wardley, thats why I marketed it so" *
* To the tune of "Hit my baby one more time"

----

[23:49] <Rowe> I could go at it in bed for hours

[00:28] <Rowe> Glomping me will only prolong your time in bed

----

[00:21] * Sasquatch DOESN'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.

----

[21:41] <Rowe> "Chris is an amazing lover and nearly godlike at sex... oh and he was a good temp admin too."

----

[22:48] <Sasquatch> How's this for a topic: 101 things we love about Rowe

----

[23:23] <Parrybo> Rowe's cool... I want one

----

[01:44] <Parrybo> i might knock one off then go to bed

[01:45] * Joely ears prick up

[01:45] <Ogoid> lol

[01:45] <Parrybo> ewww

[01:45] <Parrybo> that made me feel dirty

----

[20:23] <Joely> Bet some PHP cunt made it like EST or something

[20:23] <Chris_> The function expects to be given a string containing a US English date format and will try to parse that format into a Unix timestamp

[20:24] <Aly> I love it when you two talk dirty :P

----

[20:08] <Joely> Condoms, lube and 3 cucumbers.

----

[21:24] <Sasquatch> Cheese you sexy beast!

----

[21:55] <Sasquatch> Aly, you sexy beast!

----

[21:53] <Noraa> oh, Aly_ WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU, BASTARDING CUNT!

----

[19:10] <Rowe> Just go for it!

[19:10] <Islander> Hmm.

[19:10] <Islander> Do you, Chris_, accept Rowe to be your (probably) unlawful wedded wife_?

[19:10] <Chris_> yesh

[19:10] <Islander> kthnx

[19:11] <Islander> Rowe, d'you take dis man to be da same???????????????

[19:11] <Rowe> Yeeeees!

[19:11] <Islander> Innit bruv!

[19:11] <Islander> I now pronownce youz husband_ and wife_!

[19:11] <Chris_> yays

[19:11] - Rowe changes nick to Rowe_

[19:11] <Islander> You may snog the bride :)

[19:11] * Chris_ snogz the bride

[19:11] <Islander> Please go here, and pretend your names are Joan and Dave:

[19:11] <Islander> http://webspace.webring.com/people/cu/um_3734/wedding.htm

[19:12] <Islander> Ensure sound is on.

[19:12] <Chris_> wow at that website

[19:12] * Rowe_ enjoys the snogz and wraps her arms around Chris_' neck.

----

[20:29] <Islander> We really need two chat rooms... a TTF chat room, and a clean version...

----

[22:57] <Vez> wow craig :D

[22:59] <Craig> yeah im done now :P

[23:02] <Craig> did someone hear?

----

[01:43] <Sasquatch> We can make love, yes?

[01:43] * BrettS passes chris a towel

[01:43] <DannyJ> ok Sasquatch

----

[18:48] <D4n> Evening Joely, Joelio & Rowe :)

[18:49] <Rowe_> Oh and you're not going to say hello to X, Jupiter or Shent? That's very thoughtful of you!

[18:50] <D4n> I'll say hello to Jupiter & Shent, I dislike X though, so think I shall ignore him. :)

[18:50] * X shifts eyes on D4n

[18:51] <D4n> ... wha... wha... :o

----

[20:54] <Rowe_> Ooof Chris_, this advantage of power is getting me hot tbh

----

[21:20] <D4n> Lucky? I'd love to get kicked out of this Hell hole ;)

[21:20] <Rowe_> Yet you always come back

[21:21] <D4n> That's... true...

[21:21] <Rowe_> Lawl [[Fail|fail]]

[21:21] * D4n 's argument falls flat on it's face

----

[20:06] * D4n was kicked by Wardley

----

[23:33] * Chris_ lieks boobs

[23:33] * Rowe_ has boobs

----

[00:29] <Chris_> Is it me, or is the text on chat kinda blurry this evening>

[00:29] <Rowe_> Just you, sweetie.

[00:29] <Chris_> I find it difficult to read

----

[21:47] <Aly> !bumme

[21:47] * Joel winks at Aly

[21:47] <Joel> I'm not that much of a tart, Aly - at least give it a few minutes!

[21:47] * Joel loads up the Travelodge website, and books a room near Aly

[21:47] * Joel packs the broom handle and KY Jelly, and sets out in his car....

[21:47] <Aly> :P

[21:47] <Joel> RUN Aly !! ;)

----

[23:52] * Ogoid wants pussy

----

[01:14] <Bote> But you'd have a water pipe up your arse

----
[19:10] *** Jem8472 has joined #tt

[19:10] <Diogo> Arrr!

[19:10] *** Jem8472 has quit (Quit: www.towerstimesforum.co.uk)

[19:10] <Diogo> arrr :(

[19:10] *** Jem8472 has joined #tt

[19:11] <Diogo> Arrr!

[19:11] <Jem8472> Hello!

[19:11] *** Aly has joined #tt

[19:11] <Diogo> arrr :(

----

[22:19] <Chris_> I dont want to have sex with you aly!

----

[23:20] <Michael> I won't be on for the rest of the night! :)

----

[19:32] <Chris_> GLEE <3

[19:32] <Mike> 'Glee FTFW

[19:32] <Aly> POOF

[19:32] <Aly> EVEN BIGGER POOF!

----

[21:51] <Zamperlas_Bitch> (aka Michael) Let's be honest, D4n's a sexy beast. :P

----

[20:45] <Chris> omg my life sucks

[20:45] <Chris> I hate you all

----

[20:53] <Rowe> It's up to John to reveal what his editing weapon is, not me.

----
[23:12] <Michael> *' **I don't [/anal]

[23:14] <Islander> You don't anal? Huh?

----

[01:02] <MattH> i want lees babies tbh

[01:02] <Chris> I thought you were straight?

[01:02] <MattH> well, only when im sober

----

[22:32] <@Chris> I presume you and dave had the same issue? :P

[22:32] <Rowe> Yup.

[22:32] <Rowe> We just didn't know how to do it...

----

[19:42] <Bote> "Are you ready weeds? Start tumblin'!"

[19:42] <SasqWatch> ^ lol

[19:42] <Bote> These weeds are made for tumblin'. And that's just what they'll do.

[19:42] <Bote> One of these days these weeds are guna tumble all over you

[19:43] <Bote> ba da da da da da da

----

(Chris takes a look at Grindr)

[21:50] <Aly> why did you open it? :P

[21:51] * Ian knows Chris secretly bookmarked it

[21:51] * Aly pulls Chris out the closet :p

[21:51] <Chris> I wanted to see what their website was like!

[21:51] <Aly> full of gays? :P

[21:52] <Chris> its yellow ;)

----

[22:02] <Chris> This chat needs more boobs

----

[22:22] <Jordan> So... who's voting Ultimate then? :P

[22:22] <Chris> not me...

[22:22] <Jordan> Why not Chris?

[22:22] <Chris> Because I dont rate it

[22:23] <Chris> I find it painful, dangerous and poorly designed

[22:23] <Chris> it also has no theming :P

[22:23] <Jordan> :P

[22:23] <ILoveLWV> I find YOU painful, dangerous and poorly designed >_>

----

[20:29] Aly: nope, I'm a gay!

[20:30] Aly: its true. honest!

[20:30] • Aly bums Chris as proof

[20:30] Chris: :|

[20:30] Jordan: Tut tut! :P

[20:30] Rowie: Chris.

[20:31] Rowie: Invest in a chastity belt for Opening Meet.

----

[02:04] <Chris> Hey everyone, Joel is making me do work at 2am. Sympathy plox

[02:04] <Joel> !k Chris Get on with it.

[02:04] *** Chris has been kicked by X (Get on with it.)

----

[23:02] <Islander> I think Rowe just killed Dave.

[23:02] <Rowe> That was Dave's fault tbh.

----

[22:28] <Craig> aly wouldnt come out of his mother's vagina until a light up set of stairs were placed there and he was able to mince down with a feather boa on

----

[23:03] <DormiensDave> i'm 26, thats almost pension age in TTF

[23:04] <Aly> noo to colours :P

[23:04] <Ogoid> OI!

[23:04] <Aly> Pension Age?

[23:04] <DormiensDave> and if anyone tels Badger i said that i will kill them

[23:04] <Aly> You practically DEAD and BURIED to most TTF'ers

----
[21:01] <Jem8472> Hellllllo!

[21:01] <Squashwatch> How the fucking gypsy cunt are you?

[21:01] <zs_chris> shit, bugger, arsehole, piss, cock, fart.

[21:01] <Ogoid> Flange!

----
[21:27] <Ogiod> call that big?

[21:27] <Aly> well it is for the virgins ;)

[21:27] <Ogiod> I'm 8' mate ;)

----

[19:19] <Ian> I love joels cock.

[19:19] <Ian> end of.

----

[19:26] <Ian> Ooooh :P

[19:26] <Ian> I'll give you £20 to take me Michael ;)

----

[20:03] * Aly gags Ian!

[20:04] <Ian> Kinky ;)

[20:04] <Aly> whats kinky about gagging you Ian!: PO

[20:04] <Aly> Filthy Boy!

[20:04] <Ian> Maybe I'm into that sort of thing Aly

[20:04] <Aly> :O

[20:05] * Aly backs away slowly from Ian!

[20:05] <Aly> Whatever flots yer Bote

----

[20:30] <Joel> If it involves my arse, then yes :P

----

[22:46] * Benedique left the chat room. (Quit: takeaway timeeeeeeee)

[22:46] <Joelio> <pervy comment towards dom>

----

[22:36] <SAM93> And Aly... You can fuck me if you wish... Not too fussed tbh

----

[23:18] <Jem8472> ummmm cheese and biscuits FTW!

[23:18] <Magrathea> Since when has Rowe been "biscuits"? :P

----

[20:37] <Benedique> net split?

[20:37] <Sasquatch> Lamesplit!!

[20:37] <Magrathea> FROGSPLIT!

[20:37] <Michael> net split :D

[20:37] <Sasquatch> sad faaaaace!!

----

[20:54] <Chris> Disney, Disney, Disney. *faps*

----

[17:19] <@Ian> Hey Joel :D

[17:19] <~Joel> Hello!

[17:21] <@Ian> So what's shakin' then?

[17:22] * ~Joel thinks about this one

[17:22] <~Joel> Japan?

----

[23:04] <Aly> gets me WELL horny ;)

[23:04] <Joel> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

----

[21:20] * Chris also gives aly one...

[21:20] <Chris> Aly <3

----

[20:51] * Joel wants to see Chris hunt the prey, Hollie, down in a true Scouse fashion

[20:52] * Chris turns on the legendary scouse/wilsy charm

----

[00:10] <Joelio> Ellie: Have you ever propped up your bedsheets with your c**k to read a book at night?

----

[21:14] <nickdaegg> But I don't want to leave my car in the Vane car park if it means that someone's going to fervently rub their crotch on it

----

[23:15] <Chris> #and the world spins round and round

[23:15] <Chris> *earth

[23:15] <Ian> :P

[23:15] <Chris> actually Ive forgot the words

----

[01:46] * Bear grabs Dar and shakes his * violently

[01:46] <Bear> ...

[01:46] <Bear> ...

[01:47] <Bear> *Hand

[01:47] <Dar> :O

[01:47] <Dar> There was a moment that I panicked tbh!

----

[21:33:38] <Benedique> Guys who can sing and play instruments capture my heart instantly

[21:33:50] Craig can play an epic triangle

----

[21:28] <Dar> Jesus 'Chris't, it wasn't a pun. Frankly I'm s'Martin'g from the 'Dar't of meanness that you shot towards me. It's un'Bear'able.

----

[21:22] <D4n> There's also something catchy about - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcy6e8qM9U4 ;)

[21:23] <Dar> There's something catchy about the clap.

[21:23] <Dar> Moral: Not all catchy things are good

----

[19:04] <Magrathea> You can spot my crotch at some points but that's about it.

[19:05] <D4n> Ooooh... yipee!

[19:05] <Magrathea> Sex sells.

[19:07] <D4n> Indeed. I'm enjoying viewing your crotch so much that I only have one hand free to write this comment. ;)

[19:07] Magrathea runs. Far far away.

[19:09] <D4n> Although... working on the "sex sells" basis... surely Rowe should have been scripted to say "I'm weeeet" rather than "I'm soaaaaaaked"... yar?

[19:10] <Magrathea> She does later say "I'm wet on camera.."

[19:10] <D4n> Niiice. :P

----

[02:06] * MattH remembers... Fleety is only a friend, and will stay that way, but she IS HAWT!

----

[21:57] <Ogoid> basicly, TTF's just one big gang bang, isnt it?

----

[21:35] <D4n> I wouldn't recommend riding Joelio tbh.

----

[22:36] <@Crofty> take your boobs with you please. xx

[22:36] <Ellie> i will :)

[22:36] Ellie has quit (Quit: www.towerstimesforum.co.uk).

[22:36] <Joelio> Lol

[22:37] <Joelio> Her Norks are Corkers tbh

[22:37] <Joelio> :)

----

[02:44] <Ogoid> its not a 90s dance tune without the following : 1) random keyboard middle 8 that bears no relation the the rest of the song, and 2) a video filmed at a fun fair! :P

----

[19:03] <Joel|DotCom> Raggghhhh

[19:03] <Joel|DotCom> Time to give arms a work out

----

[02:22:57] Joelio slips a shit out, like an artilery piece would eject a shell.

[02:23:10] <@Craig> how errr lovely

[02:23:21] <Joelio> :P

[02:23:34] <Joelio> Its very romantic Craig, tbh.

[02:23:38] <@Craig> im sure it is

[02:24:45] <Joelio> I won't oversell it tbh, its just shit slipping out of a shaft like a bob skeleton sportsman would slip and slide around a luge track.

----

[23:20] <James> Argh! I just creamed so loudly.

[23:20] <James> :O

[23:20] <James> *screamed

[23:20] <Rowe> LOL

[23:20] <James> SCREAMED.

----

[22:56] <Magrathea> That's MY crotch being violated!

----

[22:13:37] <Joelio> No idea Mike, i'm sat at home bollock naked, wanking like a monkey

----

[22:56:14] Rowe has quit (Quit: *Disappears in a flash of purple smoke, complete with lightning sound effects, the flutter of bats and Dave's evil laughter in the background.).

----

[20:50] <Jordan> SamWan, are you the woman in the relationship then? :P

[20:50] <SamWan> Nope....

[20:50] <Sam> I can't imagine Sam being a top

[20:50] <Sam> No offence...

[20:51] <SamWan> Stfu Sam

[20:51] <SamWan> I can be a top all I like!!!

[20:51] <Sam> Lol actually I guess you have to be top with R Tuggers

[20:51] <Jared> Wait, explain the term "Top" for me in this sense?

[20:52] <Sam> If it was the other way round you'd be all "...is it in yet? I can't feel it..."

----

[10:48] <Mike> .....basically thats how wet TTF trolls get when they come into contact with me ;) :P

[10:48] <D4n> You realise how dirty that sounds, right? :P

[10:49] <Mike> thankfully, not many people are here to see it :P

[10:49] <D4n> Wiki tbh.

[10:49] <Mike> You wouldnt dare xD

----

[00:46] *** Rowe quit (Quit: *Sets off two massive glitter cannons, a group of rainbow gels with a drumroll and exits promptly via trap door* Didn't want to make a big deal out of leaving, bye all!)

----

[02:40] <JohnWan> Sam, I think you're BARKING up the wrong tree

[02:41] <JohnWan> Sam, you're making a PAW effort at a comeback.

[02:42] <Joelio> John, you're being un-FUR

[02:42] <Ogoid> I'm sure you will COLLAR yourself a man soon enough Sam ;)

[02:42] <Chris> this is turning into an interesting TAIL

[02:42] <JohnWan> Just don't LEAD anyone on.

[02:43] <Aly> I'm sure Sam will VET the new men accordingly ;)

[02:44] <Aly> perhaps Sam wants 101 dominations?

[02:45] <Jordan> Aly, I think Sam wants to give you a good HOUNDing ;-)

[02:46] <Joelio> Lets put a HALTER on Johns shit puns.

[02:46] <Benedique> Can we all stop SNIFFING around the issue here please.

[02:49] <Jordan> Go FETCH the wiki page someone

----

[21:12] <Ogoid> Urgh, why do young teen girls have to SCREAM so much???

----

[04:29] <Joelio> for my half 4 wank Craig, it'll be YOU today, not dom

----

<nowiki>[23:29:36] <~Joel> "Location of vehicle: ___ LOWER BITTEL RESEVOIR (in the water) ___"</nowiki>

<nowiki>[23:30:35] <~Joel> "Sketch the accident: ~~~~~~~~[ Tesco.com ]D~~~~~~~~</nowiki>

<nowiki>[23:30:43] <~Joel> ~ = water</nowiki>

----

[00:53] <Craig> stu wouldn't know subtlety if it came up and anally raped him

----

[20:15:38] <Martin> "Look at those boobs" "Forget those, look at Nemie's new wheels!"

[20:15:44] <Magrathea> ^this

[20:15:57] <Magrathea> Wheels <3

[20:15:58] Magrathea has quit (Quit: Magrathea).

[20:16:13] <@Chris> ^ he got too excited about the wheels

----

[02:04:00] <AdamJames> I'm as straight as a lamppost.

[02:04:05] <AdamJames> I think that just about covers it.

[02:04:13] <Dan77> what happeds if a car crashes in to it though?

----

[20:48] <Jared> Who wants to see Rowe's bum? Haha

[20:47] • Ogoid throws his head back and emits a dirty laugh

[20:48] <Joelio> Rowe's bum ftw

----

[23:47] <SAM93> Craig is fat and old!!!

----

[00:42:50] DannyJ cums ove the RR summer release

[00:43:11] <StevieHunter> has the CT out yet?

[00:43:43] <towersfreak> stop speaking in acronims

[00:44:48] <towersfreak> brb

----

[00:52] <Joelio> Dom doesn't know what she's let herself into

[00:52] <Dar> last two words are the wrong way round Joelio

----

[20:57:00] <Hello> FUCK THIS ALTON TOWERS IS THE BIGGEST PIECE OF SHIT ON EARTH WHY ARE YOU SAD ENOUGH TO BE ON A FORUM ABOUT IT

----

[02:16] <Rowe> Sex music comes on.

----

[21:10] <Hark> Who got fingered?

[21:10] <Ian> Eww

[21:10] <Craig> oh god yeah!

----

[22:17] <DormiensDave> Is the Ellie in here big breasted small blond ellie or big breasted violent tall ellie?

----

Drunken gibberish postings by Dom & Aly

[01:38:13] <DominiqueAndAly> y46u

[01:38:14] <DominiqueAndAly> i76

[01:38:15] <DominiqueAndAly> 65

[01:38:16] <DominiqueAndAly> t

[01:38:17] <DominiqueAndAly> i

[01:38:18] <DominiqueAndAly> y5

[01:38:19] <DominiqueAndAly> yu

[01:38:20] <Joelio> We could probably summarise it

'''removed 8 posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:38:28] <Jem8472> nahhhhh

'''removed 8 more posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:38:36] <Jem8472> post the whole mental rambling

'''removed yet another 8 posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:38:44] <Jem8472> anyway what happened to the flood kick thing?

[01:38:44] <DominiqueAndAly> jj

[01:38:45] <Joelio> DominiqueAndAly: <various drunk tyipngs>

'''this time 11 posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:38:56] <Joelio> no idea, but I wish it was back

[01:38:56] <DominiqueAndAly> trh

[01:38:57] <DominiqueAndAly> tt

[01:38:58] <DominiqueAndAly> hy

[01:38:59] <Jem8472> but would not be as funny as this TBH

'''this time 18 posts of Authentic Frontier Gibberish by <DominiqueAndAly>'''

[01:39:17] DominiqueAndAly has quit (Excess Flood).

[01:39:19] <Jem8472> Maybe we should bill them for wasting chat space

[01:39:23] DominiqueAndAly joined the channel.

[01:39:23] <Jem8472> about fooking time

[01:39:27] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:27] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:27] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:27] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:28] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:28] <Joelio> LOL

'''removed lots of shit posting by DominiqueAndAly something along the lines of:'''

[01:39:28] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:39:28] <DominiqueAndAly> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:40:54] DominiqueAndAly is now known as Craih.

[01:40:59] <Craih> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:40:59] <Joelio> my ego side enjoys Dom calling my name :P

'''5 minuets of Authentic Frontier Gibberish removed'''

[01:45:46] Craih is now known as Craig.

[01:45:50] <Craig> lol

[01:45:51] <Craig> :P

[01:45:52] Craig is now known as lol.

[01:45:58] <lol> Joelio Jem8472 Nora

[01:45:58] <lol> hh

[01:50:40] <Joelio> :)

[01:55:44] <lol> God damn it I'v e forgoet craigs password in my drunken state

[01:57:31] <Joelio> his password is

[01:57:39] <Joelio> "CockFan99"

[01:58:40] <Joelio> due to his love of cock.

[01:58:57] <Joelio> Its a bit obvious though as he's quite gay

----

<kamfira> id offer nick varney one tbh
(The above was obviously said in relation to MAPs

---

[20:39:22] <Jared> Geez. Stop typing my name... I'm trying to transfer 1TB of photos atm...

[20:39:32] <D4n> Sorry Jared.

[20:39:39] <D4n> I'll stop now

[20:39:40] <D4n> ... Jared.

[20:39:47] <Jared> WHAT

[20:39:48] <Oli> Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared ;D

[20:39:59] Aly thinks Jared is being unreasonable

[20:40:02] <Aly> :P

[20:40:04] <D4n> I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch your name... Jared isit?

[20:40:08] Jared leaves

The John Wardley Song

2011-06-16T11:38:05Z

Kydog1299: Removed "the song itself" link, as the video has been removed from YouTube.

[[File:Artwork.jpg|300px|thumb|right|John Wardley's the one on the right, by the way.]]

The brainchild of a very amusing, entertaining and witty young TTFer named after a [[Duel]] [[Electric Bill|animatronic]], '''The John Wardley Song''' is a very intriguing, historically accurate tune devoted to the theme park life of <nowiki>John Wardley</nowiki>. The current video for the song is three photos of our dearest John, two of them photoshopped to the extent of '''LEGENDARY''' and the other (the single artwork to the left) being him near harassed by a animatronic ghoul monster of some sort in the Haunted House in the [[Wardley's Jacket|famed Jacket]]. The response towards this song has been dominantly successful with only a few voices (screaming from the crypt) going against it.

===Music Video===
A music video had been in planning since June of 2010. However, the video entered a two month hiatus when an outbreak of "can't-be-bothered-ness" temporarily ceased its production. However, filming eventually restarted in September, with shooting locations including the theme parks [[Alton Towers]], [[Chessington World of Adventures]] and [[Thorpe Park]] themselves.

The official video was released on the 22nd of December 2010, after a delay of about four months. The video features cameo appearances from [[Marketing Department|Morwenna Angove]], [[Roland Mack]], [[Abdab]], [[Lord of the Darkness|Renny Krupinski]] and [[Where's Waldey?|Waldey]], as well as signature dance moves performed by John Wardley himself.

=== Important Links of Interest To Finding Out More About This Wonderful Song ===
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rW8I6PWyFs The new music video!]
*[http://forum.towerstimes.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=55&t=27789 Original Topic and Lyrics]

[[Category: Wardley's Index]]

Depth Charge

2011-06-16T11:35:42Z

Kydog1299: Brought page upto date as Storm Surge is now open.

Depth Charge is a ride at [[Thorpe_Park|Thorpe Park]] for which people queue up winding stairs for hours for, because everyone loves riding down a slide in a dinghy.

This ride fits in with <nowiki>Thorpe Park</nowiki>'s slogan - "Join the queue for real fun" - and often the queue time exceeds that of [[Stealth|Stealth]]. It is often touted as the least exciting water ride by the General Public but we all know that title goes to [[Ribena Rumba Rapids]].

Depth Charge has a new friend from 2011, as [[Storm_Surge|Storm Surge]] - another inflatable dinghy ride, has joined next door with a rather more interesting ride experience than Depth Charge will ever have...

'''YAY!'''

[[Category: Ride]]

TST Chat

2011-06-03T09:51:26Z

Kydog1299:

Maurer Söhne

2011-05-04T21:24:05Z

Kydog1299:

Maurer Söhne are infamous within the enthusiast community for designing rides which are unsafe. In brief - avoid.

Changed names to [[Mourn A Sön]].

[[Category:Manufacturer]]

Blade

2011-05-04T17:00:34Z

Kydog1299: "more superior" changed to "superior"

[[File:Blade0001.jpg|300px|thumb|left|Smug Huss sitting in a superior ride's seat.]]

'''<s>THE</s> Blade''' is a [[Huss]] swinging ship located in the grave of the former [[Thunderlooper]] from the 1990s, in the aptly named area of [[Forbidden Valley]].

The ride comes with two <s>real</s> blades at the ends in order to successfully maim anybody who dares step upon the former ride's resting place, whilst the ride is in motion that is. It is also a dealer in [[faff]], this is but an automatic function as a swinging ship much like [[Black Buccaneer]] at [[Chessington World of Adventures]] and Mr Monkey's Banana Ride at [[Thorpe Park]], and also an automatic function as a Huss creation.

=== Where The Heck IS <s>The</s> Blade?! ===

Sandwiched between [[Ripsaw]] and [[Nemesis]], <s>The</s> Blade sits rather peacefully with the queueline unnoticed to just about everyone and the ride itself in full view within the pit.

Thus some visitors trying to find the queue entrance are very much... bamboozled and end up having to go for the Disabled entrance instead. This doesn't work. By the time the real queue entrance is found, visitors are too tired to go on it after doing a long walking spree across Forbidden Valley and so sit back to watch more people fail in queueing.

If people can actually locate the queue entrance within two minutes, they've more or less bound to start queueing for the ride and so begin a longer wait than it says on the queue time boards/shows from the view across from Burger King on the opposite side, due to the ride's unfortunate faffery.

[[Category: Faff Ride]]
[[Category: Ride]]

Residents of The Haunted House

2011-05-04T12:14:37Z

Kydog1299: Corrected £10, 0000 with £100, 000.

There are and have been many residents of the Haunted House over the years, here is a collection of them. Many of these pictures are shamelessly stolen from
[http://www.hauntedone.co.uk hauntedone]<br>

== Portraits ==

The portraits were in fact stolen from the likeness of various celebrities. These celebrities came together at the end of 2002 and threatened to sue [[Alton Towers]] if they did not destroy them.

[[File:portrait_1.jpg|250px|thumb|left|Christopher Lloyd]][[File:portrait_2.jpg|250px|thumb|centre|Sigourney Weaver]][[File:portrait_3.jpg|250px|thumb|left|Jack Nicholson]][[File:portrait_4.jpg|250px|thumb|centre|Frances de la Tour]][[File:portrait_5.jpg|250px|thumb|left|[[James]]]]

[[File:portrait_6.jpg|250px|thumb|centre|Christopher Lee]][[File:portrait_7.jpg|250px|thumb|left|Karl Pilkington]]

[[File:portrait_8.jpg|250px|thumb|centre|Mickey Rooney]][[File:portrait_9.jpg|250px|thumb|left|Emily Watson]]

[[File:portrait_10.jpg|250px|thumb|centre|Allan Rickman]][[File:portrait_11.jpg|250px|thumb|left|[[John Wardley]]]][[File:portrait_12.jpg|250px|thumb|centre|Tim Curry]][[File:portrait_13.jpg|250px|thumb|left|Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen]]

[[File:portrait_15.jpg|250px|thumb|centre|Eileen Atkins]][[File:portrait_16.jpg|250px|thumb|left|Ben Kingsley]]

[[File:portrait_18.jpg|250px|thumb|centre|David Jason]][[File:portrait_19.jpg|250px|thumb|left|Christina Ricci]]

[[File:portrait_20.jpg|250px|thumb|centre|Brad Pitt]][[File:portrait_21.jpg|250px|thumb|left|John Hurt]][[File:portrait_22.jpg|250px|thumb|centre|Tom Cruise]]

== <strike>Pepper's</strike> Ghosts ==

'''Keith Sparks'''

After an accident with the original giant spider mechanism, Keith’s head was left disembodied. He died. Unfortunately the mechanism had to be replaced because of health and safety, and the original mechanism that made the spider tap dance and sing “Hello my honey...” (As part of Alton Towers previous intention to make the ride more family friendly) had to be replaced.

Keith’s head haunted the fireplace for many years, throwing insults in cryptic form and keeping watch over Lucy Webb who he had adopted in the afterlife. Keith was extinguished by Alton Towers staff in 2002. Like all good parents, Keith sometimes materialises into the doll’s house and tries to kick Lucy out after not doing anything for 19 years. He does however disappear soon afterwards, leaving nothing but a trail of ectoplasm.

'''Lucy Webb'''

Lucy is still around today and still trying to get her head around the same maths sum and arguing with her cat that is to blame for their deaths. It’s a bit like ''Groundhog Day'' except its Groundhog every five minutes. She also used to sing until she was voted off.

'''Coffin Ghost'''

He hasn’t got a cold but this ghost continually tries to escape his confinement in the undertaker’s hearse, only to fail each time. At some point however he was successful and for many years he hung around in the steel rafters of the warehouse...I mean sky. However he was once again confined to the hearse again in 2010 after re-dying and has turned green, so he probably is ill now.

== Demons ==

'''Surprise Fart Demon'''

Pretty much sums it up.

'''WhTF’S My Tea? Demon'''[[File:Tea_Demon.jpg|197px|thumb|right|Where the f**ks my tea!?]]

The Tea Demon carried out preparing the finest tea in the world up until the completion of The Haunted House. He even manufactured his own demon sized tea cup, but when the Tea Demon arrived and was about to drink the tea, John Wardley did the old switcharoo and swiftly replaced the tea with an oversized rat. After trying to drink the rat the demon said “AH WHAAAAAAAAA!?” followed shortly by the sitcomesque catchphrase “Where the f**ks my tea!?” which he says to this day.

The rat shortly became his sidekick who he often comically attacks with his knife-stick thing. The whereabouts of the tea now is unknown. Some say John Wardley drank it, or that it’s in display in The John Wardley Godly Museum of Awesomeness in his home. Many fake versions of the tea have been sold on eBay, selling up to prices of £100, 000. Yep it really is that good, so when you pass the Tea Demon next time you’re in [[Duel]] and are annoyed because he’s gone into a complete fit again, remember that he is just looking for his tea, and salute him. He is not to be confused with the [[Teabag Demon]].

'''Tigger'''

Tigger used to reside in a cluster of bushes in the finale of the ride. It is in fact Tigger from ''winne the <strike>feces excrement crap shit poo</strike> pooh'', again another attempt by Alton Towers to make the ride more family friendly. His stay in the bushes was short however as he bounced so high that he hit the roof...I mean sky and was severely mutilated. His newly mutilated body gave him a demonic look and sent him quite insane. He also now has a phobia of foliage and lives as a recluse in the oh crap we’ve run out of space room, also called The Room of a Thousand EEYEAHHHHRRROOOO!’S.

'''Pillock Demon'''

The pillock demon can be found stuck inside a broken pillar in the garden. To this day he tries to throw himself out of the pillar, although nowadays his attempts have become feeble and he seems to have acquired mental illness with moronic laughter. The pillock demon was trapped in the pillar having tried to claim an object from it, exclaiming “ooooohh a penny!” before becoming trapped, prompting John Wardley to say “What a pillock.” in ''The Extraordinarily Amazing Themes Dreams and Scream Machines Extended Edition''.

== Humanoid Beings ==

'''Jack Nicholson Giant'''[[File:Finger_Puppets.jpg|250px|thumb|right|Jack Nicholson Giant's finger puppet performance.]]

A giant clone of Jack Nicholson himself, this was the effect that made John Wardley say “This will be the most awesome dark ride ever built”. The cars would pass through a corridor where Jack’s fingers would break through the windows and claw for the guests, and most of the time he would succeed in dragging them to their deaths. The car with its few remaining guests would proceed to a window, in which Jack would lean towards and say “Here’s Johnny!”. The rising number of guest casualties forced Alton Towers to take action, and finger puppets were strapped to Jack’s fingers during his slumber. He awoke to find he had been forced to carry out finger puppet shows to the guests
instead. This annoyed Jack and after a while he just thought “Balls to this.” and left. Despite his gigantic stature his whereabouts is unknown.

'''Monk'''

The monk was a peaceful being that hangs in the cloisters of the garden. Since the introduction of Duel the monk has had to get his old joints working to avoid getting blasted. He’s not very good though and always gets shot in the face.

'''The Undertaker'''

The undertaker has a disease where his right hand is constantly in a ‘beckoning’ motion. The disease seems to be very versatile in its ability to deteriorate, rebuild, glove and extend his hand whilst also moving it at different speeds or even stop altogether. He is actually a friendly ‘A pint with an anecdote down the pub’ sort of chap, but his beckoning disease seems to put people off with them assuming he is a strange, senile, irritating, paedophilic old fart. He was also decapitated once by the dragon after he unintentionally beckoned it towards him. His head grew back though because it’s the afterlife.

'''Lunatic'''

A very hostile member of The Haunted House. Beware. He will rape you. Yes, you JAIME...(Just to psychologically confuse anyone called Jaime reading this).

== Skeletons ==

The skeletons made their debut in the skeleton corridor which up until that point was the ghost corridor which was haunted by the ghosts of the three stooges, and all of them tried to fly through the hatch and down the corridor at the same time and kept getting stuck so they were removed... fine ‘exorcised’ geez this was a mistake. So it became the skeleton corridor which included the electrician [[Electric Bill]] (Electric Bill Services; No wiring can’t I attach, No light bulb can’t I fix. © 1926), the caught doing something on his bed skeleton, the crapper skeleton, the bomber skeleton (who was believed to be the future remains of Bin Laden as the result of a time paradox) and the bog blocker eruption skeleton. It was quite...smelly. There was also a skeleton in the station at the end of the ride which jumped out on guests and caused many a heart attack.

== Other Abominations ==

'''Giant Spider''' [[File:Giant_Spider.jpg|250px|thumb|right|The amazing head tilt contraption.]]

The giant spider had a contraption on its back which allowed it to tap dance and sing in a marionette style. After the Keith Sparks Incident it had to be removed BUT another amazingly complex huge contraption was made which allowed it to...tilt its head...a bit.

'''Faces and Banshees'''

The faces and banshees are the most annoying things you are likely to encounter and reside mostly in The Room of a Thousand EEYEAHHHHRRROOOO!’S and the finale and mainly go EEYEAHHHHRRROOOO! repeatedly. I’m not going to say it again. The Face Ripper used to be in the finale and contained the <strike>soles</strike> souls of the dead. One day however they literally skyrocketed through the roof...I mean sky and the face now rips off revealing it’s insides ala horror movies of the 80’s.

'''White Reaper'''

The heavy metal band led by The Grim Reaper who were active years 1985 to- wait that’s ''White Zombie'', yeah the white reaper doesn’t do much. He just stands there, hell he could be a statue for all I know...I HATE HIM!

'''Ghoulie Teacher'''

Teacher of personnel development.

'''The CBA Monster''' [[File:CBA_Monster.jpg|213px|thumb|right|The CBA Monster]]

A teenage monster that lived in a swamp and was often called by his dragon parents but could never be arsed to get up. He quickly drowned in the swamp.

'''The Dragons'''

The Husband and Wife guards of the exit of the ride, who often poked their heads through the mouth of a gargoyle and said “SHUTUPA WITH DA SHUTUPA!”. The woman dragon was responsible for ripping the head off the beckoning Undertaker.

== John Wardley ==

John Wardley lived in The Haunted House all is life until he decided it would be a great opportunity to turn it into an attraction, so he had it transported to Alton Towers. For many years he had maintained a fond relationship with all of its residents and on opening day 1992 he left the house for the last time and it’s residents were left grieving as he made his exit.

OH WAIT! TURNS OUT ITS NOT REAL! IT’S ALL FAKE! IT’S NOT HAUNTED AT ALL! WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME ABOUT THIS!

On his last tour of The House he said to the manager of Tussauds “This is the greatest dark ride ever built, you must promise me to maintain it and look after it as long as you’re alive.” Unfortunately they were in The Room of a Thousand EEYEAHHHHRRROOOO!’S (doh!) at the time and he thought he said “In 10 years time completely and arrogantly destroy this ride with total disregard to its original intention and add laser guns, zombies and flashing lights...oh and get rid of the skeleton corridor, because personally I think it’s a load of old arse.”

John Wardley has never been seen riding Duel as its rumoured that he is designing his own real working laser guns so he can go in there, obliterate everything and build an even bigger, better Haunted House.

[[Category:Characters and Mascots]]

TST Chat

2011-05-02T20:46:56Z

Kydog1299:

Theme Park Mug Database

2011-05-02T13:43:56Z

Kydog1299: Corrected a typo.

This page is an attempt to document the Mug Phenomenon.

[[File:Mug Collection.jpg|thumb|right|Mugs: If you own this many, you are one.]]

==More Than Just a Drinking Vessel==

Theme park branded mugs come in many sizes and shapes, and are highly collectable by geeks.

Standard mugs are what you would expect… normal sized mugs with a ride or park logo printed on them. Deluxe mugs are the special ones, craved by mug addicted coaster geeks. They are uniquely shaped, and often styled to fit the theme of the ride in question.

2010 saw the introduction of the “mega mug”, a jumbo sized version of the deluxe mug for those who ''really'' like their tea. There is also the "Mini Mug". So far these have only been spotted at Chessington, and seem to be aimed at children. They sometimes come with a small stuffed toy.

{{ambox | text = ''If you wish to add to the TPMDB, please follow this format.''

Photo: Should be against a plain white background

Statistics: Type can be mini, standard, deluxe, or mega. If you find a new type of mug, feel free to create a new name for this category.

The year of production can usually be found on the base of the mug.

Height is measured in cm from the base to the top of the lip.

Capacity is measured in pints and fluid ounces. Fill to the brim.
}}

== [[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]] Mugs ==

[[File:ATR Blue Deluxe Mug 2009.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]
'''[[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]] Resort Mug (Blue)'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2010

Height: 11.2cm

Capacity: 17 fl oz

[[File:ATR Pink Deluxe Mug 2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''[[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]] Resort Mug (Pink)'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2010

Height: 14cm

Capacity: 16 fl oz

[[File:AT Scarefest Standard Mug 2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''[[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]] Scarefest 2010 Mug'''

Type: Standard

Year: 2010

Height: 9.3cm

Capacity: 13 fl oz

[[File:Air Deluxe Mug 2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''[[Air|Air]] Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2010

Height: 13.2cm

Capacity: 18 fl oz

[[File:Mutiny Bay Deluxe Mug 2008.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''[[Mutiny_Bay|Mutiny Bay]] Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2008

Height: 12.1cm

Capacity: 1 pint

[[File:Nemesis Deluxe Mug 2009.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''[[Nemesis|Nemesis]] Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2009

Height: 13.2cm

Capacity: 1 pint, 2 fl oz

[[File:Oblivion Deluxe Mug 2008.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''[[Oblivion|Oblivion]] Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2008

Height: 11cm

Capacity: 17 fl oz

[[File:Oblivion Mega Mug 2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''[[Oblivion|Oblivion]] Mega Mug'''

Type: Mega

Year: 2010

Height: 13.8cm

Capacity: 1 pint, 18 fl oz

[[File:Rita deluxe Mug 2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''[[Rita|Rita]] Square Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2010

Height: 11.8cm

Capacity: 1 pint, 2 fl oz

[[File:Rita_tire_mug.JPG|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Rita Queen of Speed Tire Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2009

Height: 11.4cm

Capacity: 17 fl oz

[[File:Th13teen Deluxe mug 2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''[[Th13teen|Th13teen]] Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2010

Height: 12cm

Capacity: 17 fl oz

[[File:RitasMug.JPG|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Rita - Queen of speed Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2005

Height: 9cm

Capacity: 25 fl oz

== Busch Gardens Tampa Mugs ==
[[File:Busch_Gardens_Tampa_2010_Adventure_Parks.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Adventure Parks Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2010

Height: 12.5cm

Capacity: 14 fl oz

[[File:Busch_Gardens_Tampa_2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Busch Gardens Tampa Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2010

Height: 10cm

Capacity: 12 fl oz

== Cedar Point Mugs ==
[[File:Cedar_Point_Generic_2008.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Cedar Point Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2008

Height: 12.5cm

Capacity: 14 fl oz

[[File:Cedar_Point_Maverick_2008.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Maverick Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2008

Height: 13cm

Capacity: 17 fl oz

[[File:Cedar_Point_TTD_2008.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Top Thrill Dragster Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2008

Height: 9.5cm

Capacity: 12 fl oz

[[File:Cedar_Point_TTD2_2008.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Top Thrill Dragster Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2008

Height: 12.5cm

Capacity: 15 fl oz

== [[Chessington_World_of_Adventures|Chessington World Of Adventures]] Mugs ==

[[File:Kobra Deluxe Mug 2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Kobra Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2010

Height: 11.9cm

Capacity: 1 pint

[[File:Vampire Deluxe Mug 2009.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''[[Vampire|Vampire]] Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2009

Height: 11.2cm

Capacity: 14 fl oz

== [[Europa_Park|Europa Park]] Mugs ==
[[File:Europa_Park_Atlantica_Supersplash_2008.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Atlantica Supersplash Mug'''

Type: Standard

Year: 2008

Height: 10cm

Capacity: 10 fl oz

[[File:Europa_Park_Silver_Star_2009.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Silver Star Mug'''

Type: Standard

Year: 2009

Height: 10cm

Capacity: 11 fl oz

[[File:Europa_Park_35_Years.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''35 year birthday Mug'''

Type: Standard

Year: 2010

Height: 10cm

Capacity: 10 fl oz

[[File:Europa_Park_Blue_Fire_Double_2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Blue Fire Mugs'''

Type: Standard

Year: 2010

Height: 10.5cm

Capacity: 12 fl oz

[[File:Europa_Park_Magische_Momente_2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Magische Momente Mug'''

Type: Standard

Year: 2010

Height: 9.5cm

Capacity: 7 fl oz

== Magic Kingdom Mugs ==
[[File:Magic_Kingdom_1_2009.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Magic Kingdom Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2009

Height: 11.5

Capacity: 14 fl oz

[[File:Magic_Kingdom_2_2009.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Magic Kingdom Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2009

Height: 12cm

Capacity: 15 fl oz

[[File:Magic_Kingdom_1_2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Magic Kingdom Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2010

Height: 11cm

Capacity: 16 fl oz

[[File:Magic_Kingdom_2_2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Magic Kingdom Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2010

Height: 12cm

Capacity: 15 fl oz

== Parc Astérix Mugs ==

[[File:Asterix_2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Astérix Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2010

Height: 11.5cm

Capacity: 15 fl oz

[[File:ParkAsterixDogMug.JPG|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Parc Astérix Dogmatix/Idéfix Mug'''

Type: Standard

Year: 2009

Height: 12cm

Capacity: 11 fl oz

== SeaWorld Orlando Mugs ==
[[File:Seaworld_Orlando_1_2009.JPG|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''SeaWorld Orlando Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2009

Height: 15cm

Capacity: 15 fl oz

[[File:Seaworld_Orlando_2_2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''SeaWorld Orlando Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2010

Height: 11cm

Capacity: 15 fl oz

[[File:Seaworld_Orlando_Manta_2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Manta Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2010

Height: 11.5cm

Capacity: 14 fl oz

== Six Flags Great Adventure Mugs ==
[[File:Six_Flags_Great_Adventure_Kingda_Ka_2008.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Kingda Ka Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2008

Height: 13cm

Capacity: 14 fl oz

[[File:Six_Flags_Great_Adventure_2008_Superman.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Superman Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2008

Height: 10.5cm

Capacity: 11 fl oz

[[File:Six_Flags_Great_Adventure_El_Toro_2008.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''El Toro Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2008

Height: 11cm

Capacity: 12 fl oz

== [[Thorpe Park|Thorpe Park]] Mugs ==

[[File:Inferno Deluxe mug 2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''[[Nemesis|Nemesis]] Inferno Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2010

Height: 12.5cm

Capacity: 17 fl oz

[[File:SAW Deluxe Mug 2009.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''[[SAW:_The_Ride|SAW: The Ride]] Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2009

Height: 13cm

Capacity: 18 fl oz

[[File:Stealth Deluxe Mug 2008.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''[[Stealth|Stealth]] Mug'''

Type: deluxe

Year: 2008

Height: 10.3cm

Capacity: 1 pint

== Other Mugs ==

[[File:DMP Standard Mug 2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''[[Drayton_Manor|Drayton Manor]] Park Mug'''

Type: Standard

Year: unknown (purchased 2010)

Height: 9.7cm

Capacity: 13 fl oz

[[File:Efteling_2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Efteling Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2010

Height: 10cm

Capacity: 11 fl oz

[[File:Epcot_2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Epcot Mug'''

Type: Standard

Year: 2010

Height: 12cm

Capacity: 18 fl oz

[[File:Oakwood_Megafobia_2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Megafobia Mug'''

Type: Standard

Year: 2010

Height: 9.5cm

Capacity: 12fl oz

[[File:Phantasialand_Talocan_2009.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Talocan Mug'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: 2009

Height: 12 cm

Capacity: 14 fl oz

[[File:Universal_2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Universal Studios Florida Mug'''

Type: Standard

Year: 2010

Height: 12cm

Capacity: 15 fl oz

[[File:IOA_Harry_Potter_2010.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Wizarding World of Harry Potter Mug'''

Type: Standard

Year: 2010

Height: 12cm

Capacity: 14 fl oz

== Glasses etc (To be moved to their own page shortly) ==

[[File:SilverStarMug.JPG|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''[[Europa_Park|Europa Park]] Silver Star Glass/Mug'''

Type: Standard

Year: unknown (purchased 2010)

Height: 13.3cm

Capacity: 12 fl oz

[[File:EuropaErdingerGlass.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''[[Europa_Park|Europa Park]] Park Beer Glass'''

Type: Deluxe

Year: unknown (<s>Stolen</s> Purchased 2010)

Height: 25.3cm

Capacity: 24 fl oz

[[File:Six_Flags_Great_Adventure_Nitro_2008.jpg|thumb|left|text-top]]

'''Nitro Glass'''

Type: Standard

Year: 2008

Height: 16.5cm

Capacity: 14 fl oz

TST Chat

2011-04-25T18:17:10Z

Kydog1299:

TST Chat

2011-04-25T18:14:44Z

Kydog1299:

Gay

2010-11-18T18:01:35Z

Kydog1299:

Homosexuality is famously more prevalent among coaster enthusiasts than the general public. Gay enthusiasts go clubbing at the world famous "In-to-men" while lesbian enthusiasts prefer the slightly more upmarket "In-to-minge".

The sexuality of various [[Alton Towers]] rides is also a heavily debated topic, the discussions of which can be viewed [http://old.towerstimes.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=55&t=27401&hilit Here]

== The TTF Member Sexuality Census ==
[http://old.towerstimes.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=57&t=28052&start=0 2010 Results]

Gay

2010-11-18T17:57:03Z

Kydog1299:

Homosexuality is famously more prevalent among coaster enthusiasts than the general public. Gay enthusiasts go clubbing at the world famous "In-to-men" while lesbian enthusiasts prefer the slightly more upmarket "In-to-minge".

The sexuality of various [[Alton Towers]] rides is also a heavily debated topic, the discussions of which can be viewed [http://old.towerstimes.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=55&t=27401&hilit Here]

== The [[Towers Times]] Member Sexuality Census ==
[http://old.towerstimes.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=57&t=28052&start=0 2010 Results]

Rita

2010-11-17T19:50:00Z

Kydog1299:

The fastest, dirtiest and laziest themed hydraulic launched coaster you'll ever ri- '''''YOU MUST ESCAPE. GO GO GOOOOOOOOO!!'''''

Rita is located in the [[Fail]] Forest and is sponsored by the [http://www.carcleaningcompany.co.uk/ Car Cleaning Company], who cleaned the ride's trains prior to the start of the 2010 season.

[[Category: Roller Coaster]]

Forbidden Valley

2010-11-17T13:11:07Z

Kydog1299: Corrected my own spelling error.

Forbidden Valley, also known for the nickname "[[B and M|B&M]] Valley", is home to some of Alton Tower's most popular rollercoasters. Themed around a... valley that's forbidden but isn't actually IN a valley so it makes no sense, it also evokes a post-apocalyptic theme which is basically just rusty junk placed around on the grass and embedded on the ground 'to look' the part.

As much as it tries to campily scream "OooOoo look at me! Aren't I scaaaaary? I'm FORBIDDEN! You shouldn't go neeeeeear meee, oooor elseeee you will Diiiiiieiiiieeeeieeeeeeeeee!", people will still go there. It's like reverse psychology, but stupid.

Demonstrated below, Forbidden Valley has a fetish for [[Huss|HUSS]] flats just as much as Schwarzkopfs and B&Ms. Pinfaris, not so much.

=== Current Rides and Attractions ===

*[[Nemesis]] - [[B and M|B&M]]'s "The [[Nemesis|Nemesis]]"? NO.

*[[Air]] - The concrete extroadinaire posing as a [[B and M|B&M]] generic flying coaster.

*[[Ripsaw]] - A [[Huss|HUSS]] [[Top_Spin|Top Spin]] posing as a rusty piece of scrap metal. No theming required. Also a spectator ride in every season and month it's open, technically water torture alongside [[Battle Galleons]].

*Blade - A [[Huss|HUSS]] Swinging Ship with blades attached, to kill any guests who intrude on [[Thunderlooper|Thunderlooper]]'s sacred grave.

=== Former Rides and Attractions ===

*Dynamo - Generic [[Huss|HUSS]] Breakdance, now living in Germany.

*[[Thunderlooper]] - [[Schwarzkopf|Schwarzkopf]] Launched Loop Coaster, now living in Brazil.

*The Beast - [[Schwarzkopf|Schwarzkopf]] Jet Star III, removed in preparation for [[Air|Air]].

*'''DEMOTED''' [[The_Beastie|The Beastie]] - Younger brother to The Beast. Which was demoted to Adventure Land before recently being converted into tin cans. A [[Pinfari|Pinfari]]... nothing more to say.

[[Category: Themed Area]]

Forbidden Valley

2010-11-17T13:10:23Z

Kydog1299: Edited minorly to fit in with The beastie's closure.

Forbidden Valley, also known for the nickname "[[B and M|B&M]] Valley", is home to some of Alton Tower's most popular rollercoasters. Themed around a... valley that's forbidden but isn't actually IN a valley so it makes no sense, it also evokes a post-apocalyptic theme which is basically just rusty junk placed around on the grass and embedded on the ground 'to look' the part.

As much as it tries to campily scream "OooOoo look at me! Aren't I scaaaaary? I'm FORBIDDEN! You shouldn't go neeeeeear meee, oooor elseeee you will Diiiiiieiiiieeeeieeeeeeeeee!", people will still go there. It's like reverse psychology, but stupid.

Demonstrated below, Forbidden Valley has a fetish for [[Huss|HUSS]] flats just as much as Schwarzkopfs and B&Ms. Pinfaris, not so much.

=== Current Rides and Attractions ===

*[[Nemesis]] - [[B and M|B&M]]'s "The [[Nemesis|Nemesis]]"? NO.

*[[Air]] - The concrete extroadinaire posing as a [[B and M|B&M]] generic flying coaster.

*[[Ripsaw]] - A [[Huss|HUSS]] [[Top_Spin|Top Spin]] posing as a rusty piece of scrap metal. No theming required. Also a spectator ride in every season and month it's open, technically water torture alongside [[Battle Galleons]].

*Blade - A [[Huss|HUSS]] Swinging Ship with blades attached, to kill any guests who intrude on [[Thunderlooper|Thunderlooper]]'s sacred grave.

=== Former Rides and Attractions ===

*Dynamo - Generic [[Huss|HUSS]] Breakdance, now living in Germany.

*[[Thunderlooper]] - [[Schwarzkopf|Schwarzkopf]] Launched Loop Coaster, now living in Brazil.

*The Beast - [[Schwarzkopf|Schwarzkopf]] Jet Star III, removed in preparation for [[Air|Air]].

*'''DEMOTED''' [[The_Beastie|The Beastie]] - Younger brother to The Beast. Which was demoted to Adventure Land before recently being coverted into tin cans. A [[Pinfari|Pinfari]]... nothing more to say.

[[Category: Themed Area]]

Pointless Post

2010-10-26T11:40:41Z

Kydog1299: Corrected the spelling of buried (was spelled burred)

There are many pointless things at [[Thorpe_Park|Thorpe Park]], but in 2009, fans of [[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]] were gifted with their own pointless artifact! The '''Pointless Post''' can be found near Battle Galleons, on the cross path between The Courtyard and Adventure Land. No one knows the origin or purpose of the Pointless Post, it is just there because it can be there ... Or possibly to stop those crazy granny's cutting across that path.

[[File:DSC04429.jpg|350px|thumb|right|The Pointless post in its wooden form.]]

== Theory’s ==

There have been many attempts and theory’s to prove the Pointless Post's usefulness, but all have been proved false, many of these theory’s suggested something buried underneath the Pointless Post, or even the Pointless Post marking something, many Posties (followers of the Pointless Post) believe that it is the burying ground for the fabled [[Henry_Hound|Henry Hound]] and some "Hardcore" Posties believe that it is the final resting place of the [[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]] magic ... But this would mean that the Pointless Post was no longer pointless and had some or little meaning. So in June 2009, a group of radical young scientists came up with Quantum Postics.

== Quantum Postics and the Proving of Quantum Postics ==

There are two main aspects of Quantum Postics:

> 'The Pointless Post is only dubbed pointless until a proven use can be found.'

> 'The Pointless Post is not pointless, as the end is pointy.'

Working with these two main aspects, the team set out to prove the Pointless Posts point. They soon managed to discover and prove the second aspects, after tripping on a inconveniently placed duck, one of the scientists slipped onto the Pointless Post and was impaled, after a quick clean and many more experiments involving melons, the remaining scientists drew this conclusion:

> 'The Pointless Post is pointless in name only, making it not pointless but pointy.'

The scientist could never prove a use for the pointless post though and, in late 2010, the second aspect of Quantum Postics was blown out of the water, when a shocking discovery was made at the site of the Pointless Post.

== The Pointless Post 2.0 ==

Deep in the 2010 season, there was a shocking discovery made at the site of what used to be the Pointless Post. The Pointless Post had regenerated (a little bit like Dr Who, but more (less?) pointless), the Pointless Post was now metal! And if that wasn’t bad enough for Posties and Quantum Postics nuts, the Pointless Post was now Pointless, the Pointless Post had [[Lost|lost]] its point, the point which made it the Pointy (Pointless) Post, it was now the not so Pointy Pointless Post!
[[File:DSC04818.jpg|350px|thumb|left|The Pointless post in its metal form.]] This was a disaster for everyone, because the second aspect of Quantum Postics had been proven false, there was a mass exodus of point lovers everywhere and devoted Posties went underground leaving there identity behind.

== The Pointless Post III? ==

No one knows when or even if the Pointless Post will regenerate again, the team of scientists who tried to prove Quantum Postics, have come up with a computer simulation of what this may look like, unfortunately, it cannot be shown, because it can cause a nasty disease called Pointalitis, in which the body becomes covered in pointless points.

== Offspring ==

The not so Pointy Pointless Post, has been known to have off spring in the form of ducks and china mugs, the reason is unknown, but many have determined that it could be due to a large amount of Pointless Post "Whoring", in which the "Whorer" rubs him or herself along the Pointless Post with their Pointless Post, this clash of pointlessness can lead to pointless offspring in the shape of pointless animals or pointless kitchen ware.

== A Godly Gift? ==

... No. The Pointless Post is not a gift from Joh ... [[GOD|God]]. Or is it?

Old MacDonald's Tractor Ride

2010-10-26T11:35:07Z

Kydog1299: It is not 'The' Squirrel Nutty, it's just Squirrel Nutty :P

Indeed Old MacDonald did have a farm. And like most farmers, Old MacDonald had a tractor. But with singing animals and pile of dung in his back garden, Old MacDonald was obviously rich enough to purchase several tractors, which he named with the likes of Puffy and friends.

Although, don't be fooled and lured onto hopping aboard this death trap. The ride is dominated by several small children who hop behind the wheel of the 10BHP tractors. The parents of the children, simply sit in the back encouraging their children to become an under age drink driver. Therefore except lots of crashes with the mysertiously placed metal wire that runs along the long 100 mile winding road throughout Mr MacDonald's farm.

At the end of each day, Old MacDonald (a certain marketing director dressed in a straw hat and holding a rake with facial hair) clears the road of all the bodies littered throughout the course and stashes them in a near by shed that can be seen on your 90 minute cruise on the [[Riverbank_Eye_Spy|Riverbank Eye Spy]].

So if would like to take your children on a ride which does not encourage your children to become underage drink drivers, but at the same time, watch the death and destruction caused on the tractor course from 200ft in the sky, it is much safer to ride on Squirel Nutty.