TowersStreet Wiki - User contributions [en]

Monorail

2012-04-13T19:16:06Z

Spinba11:

At Alton towers they realised they put the entrance in the wrong place. Instead of moving the entrance, they added a monorail and this is what the <s>idiots</s> people at Alton Towers said:

Lyle Lanley: Well sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine, bona fide, electrified six-car monorail!

What'd I say?

Ned Flanders: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: What's it called?

Patty+Selma: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: That's right! Monorail!

(Monorail, Monorail, Monorail, Monorail)

Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud...

Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud.

Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?

Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.

Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?

Lyle Lanley: You'll be given cushy jobs.

Abe: Were you sent here by the devil?

Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.

Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can.

Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.

I swear it's Springfield's only choice...

Throw up your hands and raise your voice!

All: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: What's it called?

All: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: Once again...

All: Monorail!

Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...

Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!

All: Monorail, monorail, monorail!

Monorail!

Homer: Mono... D'oh!

[[Category: Faff Ride]]
[[Category: Ride]]

John Wardley

2012-04-13T18:54:44Z

Spinba11:

[[File:God.jpg|300px|thumb|right|One of few discovered depictions of the great god John himself at work creating Air, as '''all''' depictions are banned by the faction]] The Right Honourable Supreme Leader '''John Wardley''', PhD, MSc, MA, BSc, BA, OBE, MBE, HRH, is considered one of the most evangelical and holiest of [[The_Gods_Of_Roller_Coasters|The Gods Of Roller Coasters]], and generally lords it up in the realm of the [[Roller_coaster|roller coaster]] religious faction as father to all of the [[The_Gods_Of_Roller_Coasters|other gods]]. Generally speaking, it is considered by the followers of the faction that if the great John has not blessed a steel beast or wooden monster of a coaster in some fashion, it is considered to be unworthy of enjoyment by the mere mortals of the faction.

Enthusiasts should also remember the holy garment John Wardley wore in many of his outdoor interviews, known to many as simply, [[Wardley's Jacket]]. It is holy in the fact he is wearing it and that is quite a remarkable jacket.

He may be God but can transform into the character Jigsaw (from the infamous [[SAW:_The_Ride|Sore Series]]).
Here are the steps of transformation: John Wardley --> [[James|James]]--> Jigsaw
[[Category: Wardley's Index| ]]

Efteling

2012-04-13T17:51:22Z

Spinba11:

'''Efteling''', in the country of <s>Clogland</s> Holland, is a theme park based around fairy tales you would see in those Ladybird books as a 5 year old, like Snow White or Hansel and Gretel, with some excellent theming that would have you convinced you'd been transported into said Ladybird books.

[[File:Efteling.jpg|thumb|right|Do not trust this [[Pardoes|red mascot]], he'll steal your Dutch change.]]

== History ==

Once upon a time in 1952, a strange Dutch illustrator by the name of Anton Pieck was walking through the Dutch forest whilst coming home from a Belgian Chocolate Convention, seeing as back in those days only feet were transport in Holland. Somewhere amonst the whimsical, expressionistic trees and evidently-not-real-mushrooms, he found himself in a Fairy-Tale setting surrounded by fairies, elves, goblins and other strange things he would find in fairy tale books.

Amazed by the epic details that the creatures had done in the Forest (see the change in the caps lock?), Pieck made a deal to the whimsical creatures that if they helped develop his zany drawings and illustrations into pure theme park rides and rollercoasters, he would give them 50% of the profit.

Fair and square, Pieck up until his retirement in 1974 supplied the fairies and goblins his blueprints for rides through a underground tube system, soon letting his protege [[VAN|Van]] de Ven de [[VAN|Van]] de Ven carry on the magic with his unique rides ideas.

In short and simple terms, actual fairy tales physically built the theme park.

== Rides and Roller Coasters ==
[[File:Vogel_rok.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Vogel Rok's ornamental bird, whom goes by the name of "Mr Beaky"]]
It is known for the various, creepy yet whimsical dark rides and roller coasters which don't come across so much as thrilling, because it's a fairy tale theme park. Since when did fairy tales have roller coasters involved? Did YOU ever see Red Riding Hood ride a generic [[B and M|B&M]] flying coaster? No. Did Cinderella's Prince Charming ever think to let planning permission for a [[Maurer Söhne]] spinning coaster just across the field from his [[Castle|castle]]? I don't think so. Was Ali-Baba ever interested in trying a Disk-O? Oh wait, that's not even a [[Roller_coaster|roller coaster]]!

=== Roller Coasters ===

*''Bird/Vogel Rok'' - A better dark [[Roller_coaster|roller coaster]] version of [[X:\No Way Out|X:\WTF]] at [[Thorpe Park]] that goes forward.

*''De Vliegende Hollande/The Flying Dutchman'' - A dark water coaster ride which is about a haunted pirate ship... but in a building?!

*''Joris en de Draak'' - A duelling woodie which has recently replaced another woodie, Pegasus, differing only with an epic dragon animatronic and another 'duelling' track.

*''Python'' - A [[Vekoma]] Double-Loop [[Corkscrew|Corkscrew]] [[Roller_coaster|roller coaster]], which isn't even themed like a flipping snake.

=== Dark Rides ===

*''Carnaval Festival'' - A dark ride with garish, psychedelic colours and whimsical-overload characters, aka [[Mind-F**k]].

*''Droomvluct/Dreamflight'' - A dark car ride filled with annoying fairies and a hypnotic soundtrack. Nobody has ever completed a full circuit on this ride without falling asleep.

*''Fata Morgana'' - A dark boat ride for all the family to enjoy - with added torture scene.

*''Spookslot'' - A Haunted Castle dark ride, haunted by the ghost of Kate Bush and her dancing in the "Wuthering Heights" music video.

*''Villa Volta'' - A [[Vekoma]] [[Mad House]], with a plot about a man who forgot to pay his insurance.

=== Normal Rides ===

*''Half Moon'' - The largest swinging ship in the world, Half-Moon is themed around a well... trading ship.

*''Monsieur Cannibale'' - A twist on the average Tea Cups ride, where you allow yourself to be cooked in a spinning cauldron for 3 and a half minutes.

*''Pagode'' - A random observation tower which on the floor looks like a indoor spinning ride, but is in fact a trapping place for those with Vertigo.

===Laaf Land===

Is basically an area filled with statues of obese men with very red lips. Was a parting "gift" from the old manager who was sacked for creating [[X:\No Way Out|X:\WTF]] at [[Thorpe Park]].
== The Environment ==

Because the trees are so useful at hiding their rides and roller coasters, Efteling does not feel the need to cut any down and so are essentially foreign tree-huggers.
But this is partially hypocritical for recently they tore down Pegasus, a wooden [[Roller_coaster|roller coaster]] for another duelling wooden coaster by the name of Joris en de Draak (George and the Dragon) featuring an epic dragon animatronic hiding somewhere. What they could have done is just added a second track to Pegasus and the epic dragon animatronic, so then wood didn't have to be pulled down for another piece of wood to be put there.

Currently people are debating if the wood for Pegasus should be recycled or be used as firewood for the local elves and goblins who live in the Fairy-Tale Forest, a walk-through with <s>blatantly obvious animatronics</s> authentic fairy tale creatures.

[[Category:Theme Park]]