The Gods Of Roller Coasters
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| − | The Gods Of Roller Coasters is the name for a group of deities in Coaster Mythology. In short, as the half human children of John | + | The Gods Of Roller Coasters is the name for a group of deities in Coaster Mythology. In short, as the half human children of [[John_Wardley|John Wardley]], they are Demi-Gods. |
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| − | ''In the beginning there was nothing. And [[ | + | ''In the beginning there was nothing. And [[God]] Said "Let there be Wood". And there was. And those who looked upon [[God]]'s wood saw it to be good. And lo, many chose to ride the good wood. And they were filled with tears of joy, that [[God]] gave them wood. |
| − | ''On the second day, [[ | + | ''On the second day, [[God]] said "Let there be steel". And there was. And the people saw that the steel was hard, and felt that the steel was cold. Lo, they saweth the steel was shaped like a rod. And the people sat on [[God]]'s cold, hard rod. And they declared it good. |
| − | ''On the third day, [[ | + | ''On the third day, [[God]] said "phew, all this is making me tired. I need some help." And, Lo, he sought out a wife amongst the people of the Earth, that she would bare his child. |
| − | ''And [[ | + | ''And [[God]] said "My children will sit beside me, as Gods themselves. They shall have the power of creation, as have I. No one need ever be bored again, so long as my children and I exist. Go forth, my children, and terrify." '' |
John Chapter 1, verse 1-13 | John Chapter 1, verse 1-13 | ||
| − | == Known | + | == The First Known [[God|God]] == |
'''[[John Wardley]].''' | '''[[John Wardley]].''' | ||
| − | The [[ | + | The [[God]] of gods. The true creator, and saviour of mankind. Father of all other gods, who defy his will at their peril. |
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| + | == Demi-Gods == | ||
'''[[Roland Mack]].''' | '''[[Roland Mack]].''' | ||
| − | [[ | + | [[God]]'s first born son. He sits at [[God]]'s right hand. Some Altonists believe him to be the Demi-[[God|God]] of love. |
| − | '''Anton Schwarzkopf.''' | + | '''Anton [[Schwarzkopf|Schwarzkopf]].''' |
| − | The [[ | + | The Demi-[[God|God]] of steel. |
'''Charles Paige.''' | '''Charles Paige.''' | ||
| − | The [[ | + | The Demi-[[God|God]] of wood. |
'''Werner Stengel.''' | '''Werner Stengel.''' | ||
| − | The [[ | + | The Demi-[[God|God]] of gravity. |
'''Will Koch.''' | '''Will Koch.''' | ||
| − | The [[ | + | The Demi-[[God|God]] of excellent customer service. |
'''Walter Bolliger''' and '''Claude Mabillard.''' | '''Walter Bolliger''' and '''Claude Mabillard.''' | ||
| − | The twin | + | The twin Demi-Gods of smoothness and comfort. |
'''Robert Staveley''' | '''Robert Staveley''' | ||
| − | The [[ | + | The Demi-[[God|God]] of chaos. |
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| + | |||
| + | '''Great Coasters International Inc. - Jeff Pike, Evan Souliere and Joseph Draves''' | ||
| + | |||
| + | The triplet Demi-[[God|God]]s of Knight Valley's woody. | ||
| + | |||
== The Anti-John == | == The Anti-John == | ||
| − | A small sect of fundamentalist Altonists believe the newly discovered gospel of Geoff, which warns of the coming of a false [[ | + | A small sect of fundamentalist Altonists believe the newly discovered gnostic gospel of Geoff, which warns of the coming of a false [[God|god]], described only as "a man to taunt son". |
| − | ''And ye shall be weary, for it shall be the fruit of mine own loins that doth bring destruction. Woe the day of reckoning, for I see the name of the beast. And [[ | + | ''And ye shall be weary, for it shall be the fruit of mine own loins that doth bring destruction. Woe the day of reckoning, for I see the name of the beast. And [[God|God]] himself will not be able to stop him, for he will be in disguise. Be warned, of a man to taunt son.'' |
Geoff chapter 7, verse 21-23. | Geoff chapter 7, verse 21-23. | ||
Latest revision as of 23:58, 22 March 2013
The Gods Of Roller Coasters is the name for a group of deities in Coaster Mythology. In short, as the half human children of John Wardley, they are Demi-Gods.
Contents |
[edit] An excerpt from The Holy Bible of Wardleyism, (Seventh Day Altonistic Edition)
In the beginning there was nothing. And God Said "Let there be Wood". And there was. And those who looked upon God's wood saw it to be good. And lo, many chose to ride the good wood. And they were filled with tears of joy, that God gave them wood.
On the second day, God said "Let there be steel". And there was. And the people saw that the steel was hard, and felt that the steel was cold. Lo, they saweth the steel was shaped like a rod. And the people sat on God's cold, hard rod. And they declared it good.
On the third day, God said "phew, all this is making me tired. I need some help." And, Lo, he sought out a wife amongst the people of the Earth, that she would bare his child. And God said "My children will sit beside me, as Gods themselves. They shall have the power of creation, as have I. No one need ever be bored again, so long as my children and I exist. Go forth, my children, and terrify."
John Chapter 1, verse 1-13
[edit] The First Known God
The God of gods. The true creator, and saviour of mankind. Father of all other gods, who defy his will at their peril.
[edit] Demi-Gods
God's first born son. He sits at God's right hand. Some Altonists believe him to be the Demi-God of love.
Anton Schwarzkopf.
The Demi-God of steel.
Charles Paige.
The Demi-God of wood.
Werner Stengel.
The Demi-God of gravity.
Will Koch.
The Demi-God of excellent customer service.
Walter Bolliger and Claude Mabillard.
The twin Demi-Gods of smoothness and comfort.
Robert Staveley
The Demi-God of chaos.
Great Coasters International Inc. - Jeff Pike, Evan Souliere and Joseph Draves
The triplet Demi-Gods of Knight Valley's woody.
[edit] The Anti-John
A small sect of fundamentalist Altonists believe the newly discovered gnostic gospel of Geoff, which warns of the coming of a false god, described only as "a man to taunt son".
And ye shall be weary, for it shall be the fruit of mine own loins that doth bring destruction. Woe the day of reckoning, for I see the name of the beast. And God himself will not be able to stop him, for he will be in disguise. Be warned, of a man to taunt son.
Geoff chapter 7, verse 21-23.
Some believe the Anti-John is already among us, and that the final battle between good and evil will be faught at a place called Allahlav.
