Nemesis: Sub-Terra

Latest revision as of 21:05, 15 August 2013

Nemesis Sub Terra is an underground roller coaster apparently according to the majority of visitors when it's really just a glorified Frog Hopper (Similar to Thirteen ). Many people think of it as 'da new Nemisis ride' or 'Da 1 dat drops, innit'. The second name is probably better than the current name as it doesn't shame Nemesis into hiding and cutting her own body parts off.

When looking for the ride, many guests get confused as all they see is a giant tin shed with some Merlin satellite dishes. This 'theming' is of course Merlin's specialty. To hide the fact that the ride doesn't go underground at all, there are some lifts which definitely do not just rumble and bounce a bit. Kinky stuff.

When the ride opened in 2012 (after Nemesis even though some refer to it as a prequel. Towers logic!) many chavs thought that it was 'crap,innit' so Towers management got scared and thought they wouldn't make a glorious profit. This prompted them to shove another shipping container on the end for cheaper scares. Superb work, Alton Towers. Superb.

The Phalanx (Not Phallus) is the group in charge of the ride (or facility as they like to call it) and it is their duty to shout in your face. You may occasionally get some spit on you which is another £5 charge for extra 4D effects. Because the name of the group sounds like male genitalia, designers decided that they better make the logo look like that too. The ride literally makes people wet...