Ultimache

The Ultimate is like alcohol, but with understop wheels. Riding it does you no good whatsoever, but is strangely fun and addictive, at least to begin with. After, ooh, about four rides perhaps, riders no longer notice that they're actually being injured quite seriously by the coaster from hell, either due to some kind of twisted enjoyment they're deriving from the experience or the brain damage it's given them.

Similarly to a night of extremely hard drinking, the full effects of whoring T'Ultimate aren't felt until the next day. The resulting feeling of being close to death is known as Ultimache.

Early warning signs

Anybody with legs that climbs into one of The Ultimate's trains will come away from the experience with serious knee injuries, due to the hard black fibreglass covers over the restraint hinges. Any fool knows this. Less frequently documented however are the intense headaches caused by sudden jolts, the damage caused by riders slamming into each other or the strain put on legs by bracing against most of the violent direction changes.

Riders hobbling down the stairs from the platform after experiencing the coaster with just two seperate parts of their bodies hurting will probably think they've got off lightly. They haven't. Having spent a fair bit of the day getting beaten senseless by a long and sadistic red or blue train, they'll probably go straight to bed as soon as they get home, and that's where the trouble begins.

The morning after

Waking up after visiting Lightwater Valley is a horrific experience. Leg muscles can ache from long periods of attempting to withstand sudden movements. Bruises a rider didn't know they had may reveal themselves, and any bruises that were hurting before will likely put the rider in agony with every movement. Worst of all is the evil headache, similar to those experienced while riding, except it doesn't quickly fade like those did.

While the headache is short-lived (no more than a day), it is not unknown for it to take several days for the other symptoms to reduce. Ultimate-induced knee bruises have even been known to be visible a week after riding, although by this point pressing very hard on them does not result in anything more than slight discomfort. Still, repeat riding of the thing is not recommended. Unless you have ERT of course.