Chav

The Chav is a species of human being that is commonly found in cities, towns and theme parks. Members of the Chav race can often be distinguished from ordinary people by their choice of vocabularly, earings, cigarettes and the tendancy to call everybody they pass by on the street a "gayboy".

Chavs make up 78.6% of the General Public, and are the most successful species of human probably because of their inability to control their breeding habits. They often avoid the Alton Towers smoking ban because they think they are cool. Another popular habit is to spit at people from high places, showing off their saliva glands to the to attract a mate.

However, a Chav tends to be rather friendly and therefore most vulnerable when alone or with parents. It's best to catch them in this situation in order to gently converse. This may result in the Chav having an epiphany and change in lifestyle, depending on how you talk to them. An extreme example is switching from being a 'hard man' to 'softly spoken gentleman'.

Popular Chav Phrases

• Brrrap brrrap, innit!
• Innit, blad!
• Innit, breadbins!
• I is well 'ard, innit!
• Wikid! (Considered by many chavologists to be an invalid Chav phrase because of the absence of the word "innit")
• Leg it ta Rita, innit! It's well sick, blud!
• You f*****, s*** l**** r*****ing, innit!
• Let wu' go then, innit! (Generally only heard in locations "oop North" of England)
• Innit!
• P*sseh ride, innit!