Thorpe Park: The Musical
Thorpe Park: The Musical is a brand new project recently announced by Merlin Entertainments Ltd as their first attempt to branch out into the theatre industry as an entertainment company, with a budget of £6 and planned premier in the Arena at Thorpe Park.
Tickets are rumoured to be: Stalls at £1,000. Lower Circle at £2,000. Upper Circle at £4,000.
Fasttrack for this show is also rumoured to be £50456833546 to enter the Arena 1.1 milliseconds before everyone else.
Contents |
Plot
Rumoured to be written by Andrew Lloyd Webber, "... an action adventure within a Staines theme park, combining romance, tragedy, monologues about the sheer pain Chavs go through to be accepted in society... and lemurs..."
Act 1
Rides break down at Thorpe Park.
People complain. Rides get better. They break down again.
Act 2
Someone has a epiphany. Nobody really cares. Another ride breaks down.
Act 5 3
Agnes gives birth on X:\WTF. Nobody still really cares.
Act 4
Something happens.
Act 5
Someone has a cup of tea and they wait for all this to blow over.
Proposed Main Cast List
- Michael Ball - Marius the Mechanic
- Michael Crawford - Erik the Phantom Mechanic
- Lee Mead - Trevor the Varicoloured Chav
- Lea Michelle - Trevor's Pregnant Girlfriend, Agnes
- Richard O'Brien - Igor the Time-Warped Ride Operator
- Elaine Page - Doris the Guest Services Cat
- Tim Curry - The Real Nick Varney
- Barbra Streisand - Barbra Streisand
- Jasper Carrott - Waldey
Song List
Although only half of the song list has been released, it has been rumoured Elton John will be working on the music with Barry Manilow on the lyrics, accompanied by Lil' Wayne and T-Pain as musical contributors.
- All Chavs Allowed
- Who Wants To Ride Anyway
- Queue Jumper! (Prosecutor!)
- Kumbaya ([Ride] Is Broken, My Lord)
- Technical Delay - The Mechanic's Song
- The Pizza Hut Buffet Blues
- Let Me Detonate You
- The Rumba Rapids Rumba
- Stealthy
- Fire Exit (Stupid Names)
Never Coming Soon.
