The Gods Of Roller Coasters
The Gods Of Roller Coasters is the name for a group of deities in Coaster Mythology. In short, as the half human children of John Wardley, they are demi-gods.
An excerpt from The Holy Bible of Wardleyism, (Seventh Day Altonistic Edition)
In the beginning there was nothing. And God Said "Let there be Wood". And there was. And those who looked upon God's wood saw it to be good. And lo, many chose to ride the good wood. And they were filled with tears of joy, that God gave them wood.
On the second day, God said "Let there be steel". And there was. And the people saw that the steel was hard, and felt that the steel was cold. Lo, they saweth the steel was shaped like a rod. And the people sat on God's cold, hard rod. And they declared it good.
On the third day, God said "phew, all this is making me tired. I need some help." And, Lo, he sought out a wife amongst the people of the Earth, that she would bare his child. And God said "My children will sit beside me, as Gods themselves. They shall have the power of creation, as have I. No one need ever be bored again, so long as my children and I exist. Go forth, my children, and terrify."
John Chapter 1, verse 1-13
Known Gods
The God of gods. The true creator, and saviour of mankind. Father of all other gods, who defy his will at their peril.
God's first born son. He sits at God's right hand. Some Altonists believe him to be the god of love.
Anton Schwarzkopf.
The god of steel.
Charles Paige.
The god of wood.
Werner Stengel.
The god of gravity.
Will Koch.
The god of excellent customer service.
Walter Bolliger and Claude Mabillard.
The twin gods of smoothness and comfort.
Robert Staveley
The god of insanity.
The Anti-John
A small sect of fundamentalist Altonists believe the newly discovered gospel of Geoff, which warns of the coming of a false god, described only as "a man to taunt son".
And ye shall be weary, for it shall be the fruit of mine own loins that doth bring destruction. Woe the day of reckoning, for I see the name of the beast. And God himself will not be able to stop him, for he will be in disguise. Be warned, of a man to taunt son.
Geoff chapter 7, verse 21-23.
Some believe the Anti-John is already among us, and that the final battle between good and evil will be faught at a place called Allahlav.
