Chav

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The Chav is a species of human being that is commonly found in cities, towns and theme parks. Members of the chav race can often be distinguished from ordinary people by their choice of vocabularly, earings, cigarettes and the tendancy to call everybody they pass by on the street a "gayboy".

Chavs make up 78.6% of the General Public, and are the most successful species of human probably because of their inability to control their breeding habits. They often avoid Alton Towers smoking ban because they think they are cool, while continuing to spit as well.

Chavs tend to be rather friendly while alone/with parents, so it's best to catch them at their most vulnerable in order to gently talk to them. This may result in the Chav having an epiphany and change in lifestyle, depending on how you talk to them. An extreme example is switching from being a 'hard man' to 'softly spoken gentleman'.

Popular Chav Phrases

  • Brrrap brrrap, innit!
  • Innit, blad!
  • Innit, breadbins!
  • Oi is well hard, innit!
  • Yo, bling!
  • Leg it ta Rita, innit! It's well gud blud!
  • You f*****, s*** l**** r*****ing, innit!
  • Innit!
  • Let wu' go then! (Generally only heard in locations "oop North" of England.)
  • It's s*** innit!
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