The Nemesis Inferno Legend

Revision as of 10:59, 30 November 2010

*Grumbles underground, looks at watch*

Nobody knows where it came from.

Nobody knows if the Nemesis tag is meant to imply anything other than that it's the same type of coaster as Nemesis.

There are theories,

And then,

There is the legend...of Inferno...

It is often thought Nemesis was the only example of its species to be jettisoned towards Earth.

In fact, a second such creature fell some ten years after the former’s discovery,

Landing near Chertsey, Surrey...

(The idiot).

Inferno’s tragedy is that she was the victim of a cruel practical joke.

As the bothersome sibling of Nemesis, she was disliked by her peers.

In order to be rid of her,

They jettisoned her towards Earth on an ‘URGENT’ mission to save her sibling, trapped in Staffordshire...

For 'teh lulz'...

Having missed her sister dearly, Inferno was keen to accept this task.

Unfortunately, that was not the only thing she missed.

Her intended landing zone was within the infamous stone circle of Alton,

Formerly part of the network designed to keep Nemesis out of Earth’s atmosphere.

But we all know how that turned out...

Trapped within the M25,

Inferno had to undergo the shame of reporting back to her species with news of her EPIC FAIL.

It was at this point that the Ministry of Defence were reacting to this new worrying arrival on British soil, panicking.

The country’s finest archaeologists and historians were rounded up hastily.

(To a lesser extent, scientists too).

Overjoyed but feigning concern for Inferno,

Her ‘friends’ informed her of the unwelcome attention she would soon be receiving.

Inferno had no choice but dig deep.

Like an angry beaver at hibernation, she drilled down towards the Earth’s core.

Dementedly, she forced magma up towards the Earth’s crust.

Crazily, this formed the incredible fibreclass and concrete volcano you see today.

A security silence fell over Thorpe Park,

While archaeologists and historians stood around like lemons.

After all, what use were they when a volcano had formed so rapidly?

No, really?

In order to enhance their amusement at this sequence of events,

The distant aliens decided to add some artificial tentacles around the volcano.

For further lulz, they added 7 row trains to the tentacles,

Set to run in and out of the volcano at regular irregular intervals (well, this IS Thorpe, you know).

When you ride Inferno,

Remember it is not actually the creature.

She is still buried underground,

Seething anger, like her elder sister does in the open air.

And much like her sister, regularly taunting her species with horribly foul language.

Nemesis Inferno.

Sit back...

It’s fake time.