Wicker Man

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Wicker Man (Or Needstobequickerman, Wicker Woman, Wikiman) is the World's first wooden roller coaster to fuse wood with fire the World's third wooden roller coaster to utilise wood and fire, as well as the first wooden roller coaster to be built in the UK for 21 3 years.

Origins

It is believed the ride originated from a cult of Scottish travellers who visited the park on their annual pilgrimage (the weekend after the Uttoxeter races of course, enough hell breaks loose as it is on that day). On this day they rode The Flume, unearthing a giant rubber duck buried deep within the earth. Scorned and terrorised by its almighty quacks, the cult retreated to the highlands, plotting their revenge.

The following year, the cult returned to the park and sealed the duck inside a not so secret vault. With no budgets to remove the obstructions preventing access to the duck, Alton Towers were forced to close The Flume..... forever.

Following The Flume's removal in a desperate bid for the park to make it look as if it never existed to make up for its loss, the Scottish cult (now calling themselves The Beornen)

The Beornen did some things and got rid of The Flume to build a wooden roller coaster but it's on fire (That's how it got past Merlin's executives).

The Beornen got a lot of help to build their saviour, including GCI and some other companies to make sure all chavs get fed to the flames and go in Big Bob's belly.

It is the first Secret Weapon without some 'WURLDZ FURST' gimmick since Nemesis and the first non rushed one since Oblivion.

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