Amanda Thompson

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That isn't a fountain coming out of her head. It's an idea.

Contents

Chapter One: "God bless the Pleasure Beach!

She is a truly blessed figure, and people seem to fall under a spell of her charms everywhere she goes. PBB staff members have known to have burst out in spontaneous displays of tearful joy as she approaches. Some say she can even heal. It is rumoured to be under her influence that Blackpool took the monumental decision in 1994 to build the Pepsi Max: Big One, which some enthusiasts still reckon to this day is the tallest rollercoaster in Blackpool.

Some say that on the night of her conception, a new star appeared in the sky. As the time of her birth drew nearer, the star seemed to fall to earth. It fell right on the Pleasure Beach. Inside it contained a note from God, addressed to Amanda. It read: "Go forth Child, for you are the chosen one. You are the only one who will see the right path, for this, the best non-German, independent, sea-side based amusement park in at least most of Western Europe, is where you shall spread your magic. Thy sinners will say you were wrong to replace all the rides with ice shows that seem to run forever, but you will see this is the true way. The sinners will say you were wrong to discard with the centuries old amusement park business plan of letting people in the park for free so they can enjoy the park with riding family membe--well they were probably right about that one."

Chapter Two: "Raising a new flag for Revolution".

Her birthday is celebrated each and every year by rollercoaster enthusiasts who celebrate the woman many have called the saviour of the industry. Amanda is noted for her keen knowledge in curtain cleaning, the Grand Prix track Silverstone, making sure John knows at all times that 'that is a new machine', and her tireless work campaigning against the Department of Employment. She is also the world's foremost expert on the exact legal immigration status of Russian figure-skaters.

Some have criticised Amanda unjustly. Some people saw her demolition of the Cyclone, one of the oldest woodies in the world, and the destruction of Southport to have been a cruel act, determined solely by profit. However, this couldn't be further from the truth. Amanda actually loved the Cyclone so much that she wanted to dismantle it, then chop it up so all her friends could have a piece. She's generous like that.

Some nasty traitors, probably from Camelot, have also implied that the park don't take maintenance entirely seriously, as the Big Dipper has crashed. However, these people don't realise that the ride is designed to do this, so that each and every year a lucky train load of passangers will get to experience a roll-back. Amanda has noticed, with some scorn, that Nemesis at Alton Towers has never even attempted to have a backwards station.

TO BE CONTINUED.


The Amanda Thompson Song

On the 16th September 2011, forum user mrbrightside began the 'official' Amanda Thompson song, sung to the tune of "Oh Mandy"


Oh Mandy, you came and you cleaned out my curtains

Then you shouted all day, Oh Mandy!

and your pleasure beach stops my heart from breaking, when Alton Towers is closed for ride making.

That's why I need you today, Oh Mandy!


Oh Mandy! Well you paid and bought an OBE,

'with money made from Blingy

Oh Mandy! Whatever happened to that old woodie?

You know what I mean, oh Mandy!


Additional contributions from Dom and Ian.

Whilst unfinished, the song is crying out for some input from anyone willing to take the time to represent the Goddess in musical form.




See also

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