Stealth

This article contains graciously stolen material from Unencyclopedia.

Thorpe Park's biggest attraction, HUMDINGER Stealth can be found in Amity Cove at the back of Tidal Wave but since it is stealthy, it is not easy to find and regular visitors end up in the Sunkern Garden.

Stealth is a pioneering new rubber band launch hyper-active disorder coaster that takes 60mg of Ritalin before shooting riders out of the station several inches inches into the sky. A common misconception is that the ride travels 0-80 in under 2 seconds. This is actually referring to the queue time.

If you need to find the maintenance team (a man called Bob) he can normally be found scratching his head while looking at the rubber bands under this ride. A common failure of the ride is rollback, which is caused by a lot of fat b*s*a*d* sitting towards the back of the train. This then results in the fat people being ejected from the park and the slightly less weighty ones get another ride without having to queue. These slightly less weighty then go on to eat from the many (junk) food stalls in the park, making them heavy enough to be ejected from their next ride on Stealth, and the circle of fattiness goes on.

The ride comes to a disappointing ending as the ride takes 17 seconds to finish and the lap restraints take 17 minutes. These 17 minutes and 17 seconds of joy can be had after normally queuing for 2 hours, unless it breaks, to which you might have the privilege of waiting all day, or for the rest of the week.

The launching voice is provided by Fred Flintsone and the ride's theme was the brainchild of Morissey.