X:\No Way Out

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This article contains graciously stolen material from Unencyclopedia.

YOU SHALL NEVER ESCAPE THE QUEUE!

X (Previously "No: Way Out To Sex") was originally designed to disappoint guests and make them leave thinking about how much time they wasted in the queue. It is located in a pyramid so guests cannot see how poor the ride actually is and will still waste their time standing in a long queue to experience a piece of crap, this is obvious by the guests' disappointed looks as they exit the pyramid and remarks such as " it was sh*t". The ride also features random manikins on the many brake runs, which are designed to distract the guests from how poor the coaster actually is. The height restriction is 1.4m to save the younger children from wasting their time, when they should be in Octopus Gardens on Storm Surge. During the ride it is a common place for riders, however childish, to replace the stereotypical screams of a rollercoaster with different expressions of the word "Ow!"

It's also the world's Thorpe Park's first backwards in the dark roller coaster... not that it means anything.

History

X was constructed in 1996, as the park's first Non-Powered rollercoaster. Due to the lack of decent maintenance at Thorpe Park, the ride was held together by Blu-Tack and sticky-backed plastic until a 2013 retheme, where it underwent a change to a theme of "An epileptic's worst nightmare" and had a name change to "X".

Now known as NEW FOR 2018 'Dur Walking Dead: Da Ride' just to appease the chavs, Screw all the families that visit Thorpe! Interestingly the zombies commissioned the same people as The Bourbon's did for Stick Man, only expect this time it was absolutely S&!@. It suffers from Thorpe Park syndrome where management's OCD will get triggered if there isn't at least 3 actor heavy attractions in the park, but of course after opening week all the zombies left the ride and left their cousin manikin Bob to do all the work for them, lazy sods.

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