Alton Bear
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| − | Alton Bear appears to be a sweet, kind amusing mascot from [[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]] who only wishes to give you a great big hug during a wonderful day at the <nowiki>Alton Towers</nowiki> Resort. His fluffy exterior as a evident bear, in his dungarees with his hands waving to give you a beautiful smile of happiness and joy. | + | Alton Bear appears to be a sweet, kind amusing mascot from [[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]] who only wishes to give you a great big hug during a wonderful day at the <nowiki>Alton Towers</nowiki> Resort. His fluffy exterior as a evident bear, in his dungarees with his hands waving to give you a beautiful smile of happiness and joy, is surely a blessing in disguise... |
| + | [[File:AltonBear.JPG|200px|thumb|right|Do you like this bear? Are you sure? You need your eyes checked...]] | ||
'''YOU'RE.''' | '''YOU'RE.''' | ||
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'''DO NOT TRUST THE BEAR...''' | '''DO NOT TRUST THE BEAR...''' | ||
| − | LOL jk all he does is sit in with a Dominoes pizza and watch endless Meryl Streep films. | + | LOL jk all he does is sit in the lounge with a Dominoes pizza, a big tub of Ben&Jerrys and watch endless Meryl Streep films. |
Revision as of 21:31, 22 October 2010
Alton Bear appears to be a sweet, kind amusing mascot from Alton Towers who only wishes to give you a great big hug during a wonderful day at the Alton Towers Resort. His fluffy exterior as a evident bear, in his dungarees with his hands waving to give you a beautiful smile of happiness and joy, is surely a blessing in disguise...
YOU'RE.
TOO.
DAMN.
WRONG.
Alton Bear is in fact, not a cheerful and happy bear who inhabits the former mascot stance from Henry Hound, but is in reality a drunk, cynical and sarcastic being who hates everyone and everything unlike the Wraiths. Every night after park closing time, he runs riot around city centres in a Fiat stolen off eBay with a handful of prostitutes and drug dealers by his side.
DO NOT TRUST THE BEAR...
LOL jk all he does is sit in the lounge with a Dominoes pizza, a big tub of Ben&Jerrys and watch endless Meryl Streep films.
