Von Roll
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| − | Von Roll is the most evil super-villain who has ever lived. He also | + | Von Roll is the most evil super-villain who has ever lived with a passion for blowing things up and pyromania, mainly the latter. He also happens to be a well known manufacturer when he isn't causing trouble to others, creating [[Monofail]]s and Cable Cars for his own personal travel despite visitors confusing it for public transport on a daily basis. |
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[[File:vonroll.jpg|200px|thumb|right|OM NOM NOM]] | [[File:vonroll.jpg|200px|thumb|right|OM NOM NOM]] | ||
| − | + | Police have issued a photo to the right and warned park-goers to be vigilant. | |
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His main [[Nemesis]] (lolololololol) is [[John Wardley]]. | His main [[Nemesis]] (lolololololol) is [[John Wardley]]. | ||
| − | + | Recently there have been rumours going round on the internet that Von Roll is planning another evil act. The worlds intelligence agencies are working hard to try and uncover his latest evil plans. This photo is the only real evidence that has been found as to what Von Roll is up to. It is thought that many people have been sacked from their jobs as his henchmen for this breach in security. | |
| − | ==== | + | == History == |
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| − | + | Von Roll Holding was born in 1803 within a glacier crevice somewhere in the Jungfrau region of Switzerland, created by Mother Nature whom was bored at the time out of pine tree bark, a big blob of mud and ice with the amusing decor of deer horns. From there the newly born villain struggled with life on the fantastically freezing and near deserted plateaus and soon fashioned his own name after screaming ''"VON ROLLING HOLD TREE"'', i.e. his first words, down the mountains and landing head first into a hibernating marmot's family home instead of grabbing onto the tree like he wanted to. | |
| − | Von Roll | + | And at that moment Von Roll swore (Quite rudely) that instead of him having to roll down mountainous regions to walk back up them later, because they gave him really bad headaches, he would create his own kind of transport that would take him and him only up and down mountains. But before he could do that, he had to fix the marmot's house. |
| − | + | So he travelled by foot to England in 1807, mainly by taking a pickaxe and shovel to Calais and furiously digging a hole down on the beach all the way to Dover under the Channel, to find out more about transport there as Europe was all about the horse drawn rural state rather than industrial revolutions. When he realised how stupid he looked with deer horns, he <s>stole</s> willingly lightened an old woman of her black cloak after she asked ''"Farthing for an old beggar?"'', thinking she was asking for payment and wrapped the cloak around his body like a turban. From there he discovered the first tram railway system in South Wales among many other interesting ways of travel and decided to settle down there. And it just so happens that his first ever house on Barry Island is where his nemesis (lololololololol) [[John Wardley]] would live over 180 years later. | |
| − | + | After much research, building and constructing, a bit more research, a few accidents involving recycled firelighters and more construction, Von Roll soon moved back to Switzerland sometime in the 1900s to create his new transportations system, the Cable Car, to and from a local village to the top of the Jungfrau region. | |
| + | [[File:Von_Roll.jpg|200px|thumb|left|The aptly named ''Control Box of Doom'', favored by the Welsh.]] | ||
| + | Mother Nature did not approve of this act of desecrating her beautiful handmade world and so cursed Von Roll so he could never love anyone due to his ice cold heart and refusal to stop destroying her work. But being Von Roll and soon becoming one of the world's most leading supervillains, he shrugged nonchalantly, flicked opened one of his recycled firelighters and threw it at her. Mother Nature was surprisingly flammable and essentially created two suns for at least 3 minutes, confusing everyone and everything, until she dived into the Arctic Ocean. | ||
| − | + | And from thereon Von Roll decided that he would become an evil genius who would punish anyone who dared to stand in his path of making his own private transport, punishing those who made fun of his private transport and who wouldn't dare to purchase one so he could visit their place, because he really couldn't stand rolling and walking around every day. | |
| + | == Incidents == | ||
| + | |||
| + | === Confirmed Sightings === | ||
| + | |||
| + | *June 14 1986, tampering with the wheel assemblies on the Mindbender, Galaxyland | ||
| + | *July 21 2000, hanging around Wicked Witches Haunt, [[Thorpe Park]] | ||
| + | *October 28th 2007/July 21st 2009, loitering around the [[Alton_Towers|Alton Towers]] [[Skyride]] stations with a box of matches | ||
| + | |||
| + | === New Year's Universal Studios Attack === | ||
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| + | On 1st January 2011, Von Roll unleashed an attack on Universal Studios: Island Of Adventure, Orlando, when part of Dudley Do-Right's Ripsaw Falls was caught on a <s>quite small</s> '''HUMONGOUS BLAZE OF NOT EXAGGERATED FIRE!''' The fire raged for about 30 minutes until firefighters brought it under control, the fire was out within one hour but still kicked back with a few '''HUMONGOUS BLAZING AND NOT EXAGGERATED ASHES!''' | ||
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| + | Arson investigators are looking into what caused the fire but as of yet have not been able to determine the cause. | ||
| + | |||
| + | The rumours on the internet are that Von Roll left a small scented candle burning in the roof of one of the ride buildings, as revenge for Universal Studios for not purchasing a [[Monofail]] many years ago... Only time will tell if Von Roll will be brought to justice for this latest attack. | ||
[[Category: Manufacturer]] | [[Category: Manufacturer]] | ||
Revision as of 14:48, 13 April 2011
Von Roll is the most evil super-villain who has ever lived with a passion for blowing things up and pyromania, mainly the latter. He also happens to be a well known manufacturer when he isn't causing trouble to others, creating Monofails and Cable Cars for his own personal travel despite visitors confusing it for public transport on a daily basis.
Police have issued a photo to the right and warned park-goers to be vigilant.
His main Nemesis (lolololololol) is John Wardley.
Recently there have been rumours going round on the internet that Von Roll is planning another evil act. The worlds intelligence agencies are working hard to try and uncover his latest evil plans. This photo is the only real evidence that has been found as to what Von Roll is up to. It is thought that many people have been sacked from their jobs as his henchmen for this breach in security.
Contents |
History
Von Roll Holding was born in 1803 within a glacier crevice somewhere in the Jungfrau region of Switzerland, created by Mother Nature whom was bored at the time out of pine tree bark, a big blob of mud and ice with the amusing decor of deer horns. From there the newly born villain struggled with life on the fantastically freezing and near deserted plateaus and soon fashioned his own name after screaming "VON ROLLING HOLD TREE", i.e. his first words, down the mountains and landing head first into a hibernating marmot's family home instead of grabbing onto the tree like he wanted to.
And at that moment Von Roll swore (Quite rudely) that instead of him having to roll down mountainous regions to walk back up them later, because they gave him really bad headaches, he would create his own kind of transport that would take him and him only up and down mountains. But before he could do that, he had to fix the marmot's house.
So he travelled by foot to England in 1807, mainly by taking a pickaxe and shovel to Calais and furiously digging a hole down on the beach all the way to Dover under the Channel, to find out more about transport there as Europe was all about the horse drawn rural state rather than industrial revolutions. When he realised how stupid he looked with deer horns, he stole willingly lightened an old woman of her black cloak after she asked "Farthing for an old beggar?", thinking she was asking for payment and wrapped the cloak around his body like a turban. From there he discovered the first tram railway system in South Wales among many other interesting ways of travel and decided to settle down there. And it just so happens that his first ever house on Barry Island is where his nemesis (lololololololol) John Wardley would live over 180 years later.
After much research, building and constructing, a bit more research, a few accidents involving recycled firelighters and more construction, Von Roll soon moved back to Switzerland sometime in the 1900s to create his new transportations system, the Cable Car, to and from a local village to the top of the Jungfrau region.
Mother Nature did not approve of this act of desecrating her beautiful handmade world and so cursed Von Roll so he could never love anyone due to his ice cold heart and refusal to stop destroying her work. But being Von Roll and soon becoming one of the world's most leading supervillains, he shrugged nonchalantly, flicked opened one of his recycled firelighters and threw it at her. Mother Nature was surprisingly flammable and essentially created two suns for at least 3 minutes, confusing everyone and everything, until she dived into the Arctic Ocean.
And from thereon Von Roll decided that he would become an evil genius who would punish anyone who dared to stand in his path of making his own private transport, punishing those who made fun of his private transport and who wouldn't dare to purchase one so he could visit their place, because he really couldn't stand rolling and walking around every day.
Incidents
Confirmed Sightings
- June 14 1986, tampering with the wheel assemblies on the Mindbender, Galaxyland
- July 21 2000, hanging around Wicked Witches Haunt, Thorpe Park
- October 28th 2007/July 21st 2009, loitering around the Alton Towers Skyride stations with a box of matches
New Year's Universal Studios Attack
On 1st January 2011, Von Roll unleashed an attack on Universal Studios: Island Of Adventure, Orlando, when part of Dudley Do-Right's Ripsaw Falls was caught on a quite small HUMONGOUS BLAZE OF NOT EXAGGERATED FIRE! The fire raged for about 30 minutes until firefighters brought it under control, the fire was out within one hour but still kicked back with a few HUMONGOUS BLAZING AND NOT EXAGGERATED ASHES!
Arson investigators are looking into what caused the fire but as of yet have not been able to determine the cause.
The rumours on the internet are that Von Roll left a small scented candle burning in the roof of one of the ride buildings, as revenge for Universal Studios for not purchasing a Monofail many years ago... Only time will tell if Von Roll will be brought to justice for this latest attack.
