Drayton Manor

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Drayton Manor is a sinister Theme Park - aimed squarely at the masochist market - located near Tamworth.  
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[[File:Drayton.jpg|300px|thumb|left]]
  
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During the course of a day there, guests can expect the attractions to try to suffocate them (G-Force), castrate them(Apocalypse), give them hypothermia (Stormforce 10), bore them to death (Buffalo Mountain Coaster) and suffocate them with tight restraints (G-Force). As if this wasn't enough, guests aren't even allowed a bloody seat on Drayton's flagship coaster, [[Shockwave]]. Drayton Manor was until recently known for letting rides fall into disrepair, then building new rides on their spot.  
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'''Drayton Manor''' is a strange theme park that lives in the shadows of [[Alton Towers]], just outside of Tamworth in South Staffordshire, and is known to be home to some of the most masochistic rides in the United Kingdom such as [[Shockwave]] and G-Force.  
  
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Also the park prides itself in it's queue line artwork, which over the last few years has been left by chavs that overrun the park and torment you in the queue lines. Most of this mentioned artwork is crafted by marker pen, with around 30% chewing gum. The park have added a 4D cinema recently and had the sense to replace the original awful film with a movie about Penguins, which makes perfect sense in an area themed to giant Sombreros, Germans and Scary Houses - Drayton Manor is notable for being the first (and indeed, only) park to install a Verkoma (often confused with [[Vekoma]]) [[Mad House]] - The Haunting (themed around a scary house), which isn't as good as [[Hex - The Legend of the Towers]] at [[Alton Towers]], obviously. New in 2009 was the new 'Only open G-Force after about lunchtime-ish policy to <s>save costs</s> annoy guests even more that they chose not to go to Alton Towers.
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The park is well known for the range of ghetto-era rides and their former cunning choice of leaving rides to rot before building a new ride on top, as well as their stunning idea to be surrounded by a car park with mismatching area themes. None of this however deters the General Public from visiting as it's all normal to their eyes.  
  
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New for 2011 is a new Ben 10 junior boomerang coaster, further enhancing the fabulously themed Aerial Park, home to a scary mansion, a wild west shoot-out, a grey drop tower and a multi-coloured big wheel thing. The park have been praised for this great themed area on <s>many</s> <s>some</s> no occasions and this new addition will make this area <s>even</s> somewhat better! They are also building a hotel for 2011 which conveniently will have it's grand opening on a day the park isn't open.  
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Drayton prides itself in being a park with "''firsts''" such as having a Verkoma ride, a [[Maurer Söhne]] that hasn't committed homocide, an Intamin rapids that <i>has</i>, randomly placed sponsorships (i.e. Arriva) and a [[Intamin]] Teacups themed around beers and boobs.  
  
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[[File:Drayton Manor 3.jpg|thumb|right|alt=Picture of Drayton Manor tortoises in bad living conditions|Tortoise habitat at Drayton Manor Zoo.]]
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The theme tune of Drayton Manor appears to be ''Jupiter'' by Gustav Holst, in an attempt to classy up the park for the Resort title much like Towers but oddly enough it seems to do the trick.  
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=== Zoo ===
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The park also has a zoo area, which is famous for it's [http://www.tortoisetrust.org/activities/shame.htm awful habitat for tortoises] which is condemned by the Tortoise Trust. According to their website they say that the tortoise enclosure is "An absolutely disgraceful exhibition of the very worst kind of husbandry practices", which can't be good can it?
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== History ==
  
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There was once a manor by a lake. 
  
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People <s>with sadistic intentions</s> knocked it down and stuck a few rides by the lake.
  
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Drayton Manor was aptly born.
  
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== Rides and Attractions ==
  
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=== Rollercoasters ===
  
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* '''NEW FOR 2017''' ''Hot Wheels: Da Ride''
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* Gruffalo Mountain Coaster
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* G-Force - No longer with us, now resides in limbo with Slammer, Sub-Terra and Loggers Leap
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* Shockwave
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* Troublesome Trucks
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* One of da S&S coasters that will compete with Mackpoo and SWood (The last one is unsafe)
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[[File:Ben10media (95).jpg|200px|thumb|right|BEN MOTHERFLUFFING 10!]]
  
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=== Thrill Rides ===
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* '''New for 2014''' Air Race
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* Apocalypse
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* Bounty
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* Maelstrom
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* Pandemoniun
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* Loki
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* Thor
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=== Water Rides ===
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* Pirate Adventure
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* Splash Canyon
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* Stormforce 10
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=== Family Rides ===
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* Drunken Barrels
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* Excalibur
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* ''Chicken Nuggits'' Breadcoomb Shoot-Out
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* Jolly Buccaneer - Sometimes found at Chessington
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* The Flying Scotsman
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* The Haunting
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* Wave Swinger
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=== Kids Rides ===
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* Cranky's Drop Tower
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* Crazy Bertie Bus
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* Diesel's Locomotion Mayhem
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* Harold's Heli Tours
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* Jeremy's Flying Academy
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* Lady's Carousel
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* Rockin' Bulstrode & Sodor Docks
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* Sodor's Classic Cars
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* Vintage Carousel
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* Sleipnir
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=== Transport ===
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* Chairlift
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* Knapford Station
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=== Misc ===
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* 4-D Cinema
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* Amusement Arcade
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* Crazy Golf
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* DinoTrail
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* Drayton Queen Boat
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* Emily's Adventure Play
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* ''Thomas and Friends'' Exhibition
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* Zoo
  
 
[[Category:Theme Park]]
 
[[Category:Theme Park]]

Latest revision as of 16:16, 24 August 2022

Drayton.jpg

Drayton Manor is a strange theme park that lives in the shadows of Alton Towers, just outside of Tamworth in South Staffordshire, and is known to be home to some of the most masochistic rides in the United Kingdom such as Shockwave and G-Force.

The park is well known for the range of ghetto-era rides and their former cunning choice of leaving rides to rot before building a new ride on top, as well as their stunning idea to be surrounded by a car park with mismatching area themes. None of this however deters the General Public from visiting as it's all normal to their eyes.

Drayton prides itself in being a park with "firsts" such as having a Verkoma ride, a Maurer Söhne that hasn't committed homocide, an Intamin rapids that has, randomly placed sponsorships (i.e. Arriva) and a Intamin Teacups themed around beers and boobs.

The theme tune of Drayton Manor appears to be Jupiter by Gustav Holst, in an attempt to classy up the park for the Resort title much like Towers but oddly enough it seems to do the trick.

Contents

[edit] History

There was once a manor by a lake.

People with sadistic intentions knocked it down and stuck a few rides by the lake.

Drayton Manor was aptly born.

[edit] Rides and Attractions

[edit] Rollercoasters

  • NEW FOR 2017 Hot Wheels: Da Ride
  • Gruffalo Mountain Coaster
  • G-Force - No longer with us, now resides in limbo with Slammer, Sub-Terra and Loggers Leap
  • Shockwave
  • Troublesome Trucks
  • One of da S&S coasters that will compete with Mackpoo and SWood (The last one is unsafe)
BEN MOTHERFLUFFING 10!

[edit] Thrill Rides

  • New for 2014 Air Race
  • Apocalypse
  • Bounty
  • Maelstrom
  • Pandemoniun
  • Loki
  • Thor

[edit] Water Rides

  • Pirate Adventure
  • Splash Canyon
  • Stormforce 10


[edit] Family Rides

  • Drunken Barrels
  • Excalibur
  • Chicken Nuggits Breadcoomb Shoot-Out
  • Jolly Buccaneer - Sometimes found at Chessington
  • The Flying Scotsman
  • The Haunting
  • Wave Swinger

[edit] Kids Rides

  • Cranky's Drop Tower
  • Crazy Bertie Bus
  • Diesel's Locomotion Mayhem
  • Harold's Heli Tours
  • Jeremy's Flying Academy
  • Lady's Carousel
  • Rockin' Bulstrode & Sodor Docks
  • Sodor's Classic Cars
  • Vintage Carousel
  • Sleipnir


[edit] Transport

  • Chairlift
  • Knapford Station


[edit] Misc

  • 4-D Cinema
  • Amusement Arcade
  • Crazy Golf
  • DinoTrail
  • Drayton Queen Boat
  • Emily's Adventure Play
  • Thomas and Friends Exhibition
  • Zoo
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