Mental Insecurity

Revision as of 21:05, 12 December 2010

Mental Insecurity is a condition that affects both rides and rollercoasters within theme parks, especially within Britain's Open Season when a ride/rollercoaster predominantly out of pressure refuses to operate out of several reasons. This happens to include the struggle of keeping up appearances as a perfect decent ride. Because of this the ride/rollercoaster will inevitably cause trouble, groans and facepalms all around the park and upon forums.

Mental Insecurity, being a smart bugger in being psychological and thus a tough case to crack, has three alternating terms:

• Short Term - Failure to operate from 0ms to 24hs

• Mid Term - Failure to operate from 24hs to 3 days

• Long Term - Failure to operate from 3 days to a week.

• RARE Terminal - Failure to operate from a week to the entire season.

Also see: Dedicated Trackside Flux Sensor, which deals with this sort of issue at times.

The Condition

Symptoms

• A desire to cause Faff:
  • Queues
  • Boarding

• Screwing up queue times

• Liaisons with Health and Safety

• Liaisons with the weather, sentient species etc
  • Rainfall, causing the excuse "Oops! I'm flooded!"
  • Wasps during the Summer period

Treatment

The obvious answer to this is pure maintenance, psychotherapy, hypnotic mantra (this may include an Origami masterclass) and brief counselling from the ride manufacturer themselves or even by the ride's creator itself.

Unfortunately, most rollercoasters have to wait until Closed Season to get their maintenance fix whilst rides can just have theirs over a few days, thus causing many a tension between park attractions in places because of 'attention'.

Is There A Cure?

It has been long rumoured there is a cure to this saddening condition but no word has appeared of yet from any person within the theme park industry, nor from any scientist, historian... not even a beaver can foretell if Mental Insecurity can be cured for good.

The most enthusiasts can do to help to find a cure, is refraining from slagging off the ride and swanning off elsewhere. Equally it is recommended enthusiasts refrain from passing comment upon an insecure ride that is doing well, as this will only serve to remind the ride of the usual state in which it operates and cause a breakdown.

For Example if Air's queue is moving unusually quickly, passing comment upon this is generally considered unwise as this will result in serious station faffery.

Suffering Attractions

Of course you cannot speak of a condition that exists without examples of rides around the world Britain, or else this page wouldn't be existing! Silly Billy.

• Air - Long time sufferer and alternator between Short Term and Mid Term, due to peer pressure by Nemesis. B&M themselves have tried discussing this issue with Air but sadly the male female coaster continued to break down out of instability.

• Kobra - Zamperla Disk-O. 'Nuff said.

• Slammer - Pressure from being the second S&S Sky Swat in the world and being at Thorpe Park.

• Th13teen - Short Term sufferer, due to being under care of Air until Open Season 2010 and so gathering many of the 02 coaster's habits. This was caused by one of the certain parents failing to look after their alleged child and leaving her in Air's presence, but thankfully she wasn't left there too long or we'd have faff on our hands.

• Vampire - Due to old age, being a lone Arrow Dynamics rollercoaster in the country, as well as becoming 'dualled' with Vekoma seats and a shadow of it's former self. The poor lad suffers from Mid Term Mental Insecurity on an occasional basis.