Flambo's Feast

Flambo's Feast is a restaraunt at Splash Landings Hotel, infamous for the immediate appeal to chavs and the overweight. The restaraunt is an all-you can eat buffet; sadly, some view this as more of a challenge than a status. Where else could you gorge yourelf whilst a lemur prances around in Staffordshire? Which proves just how valuable [Alton Towers]is to residents of Alton. A typical selection is as follows:

Food On Offer

NO health foods (Unless you count deep-fat fried brocolli? Though not.) Burgers (made from our old barnyard friends) Chips (burnt to perfection) Fish fingers (the reason sharkbait reef is empty) Chicken Nuggets/Sausages/'Well Done' Steak (all made using... animal... stuff.) Foreign 'Delights' - (they don't like tourists here) Chocolate puddings/Ice-cream (Aldi value range, no less!) Beans (skin and all) Pasties - To old to sell at Pirates Pasty, so found a home here.

And of course, it is sold after being stewing in grease and lard, to give it an extra delicious 'shine'.

Or, of course, you could just avoid damage to your intestines and you wallet by ordering a pizza.