English-Merlin dictionary

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Available in all good retailers

In these dark ages of poorly-written news articles from Merlin Entertainments, a need has emerged for an easy way to translate the words and phrases direct from the desk of Nick Varney into plain English. Thankfully, a team of boffin wizards people at Collins were on-hand to compile a handy guide.

Contents

A

  • amazingly good reasons
    • amazingly good reasons for Merlin, or;
    • financial reasons.

B

  • best possible value
    • spend the most possible money
  • boffin wizards
    • finance department

C

  • customer research
    • some idealistic user personas haphazardly drawn up for management

D

E

F

G

H

I

  • improving your experience
    • raising prices and reducing the service, but telling customers it is a better product

J

K

L

M

  • magic
    • Editor note: we really don't know what this actually means.

N

O

P

Q

R

S

  • spellbinding
    • good enough to sell an annual pass renewal next year

T

U

V

W

X

Y

Z

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