English-Merlin dictionary
From TowersStreet Wiki
In these dark ages of poorly-written news articles from Merlin Entertainments, a need has emerged for an easy way to translate the words and phrases direct from the desk of Nick Varney into plain English. Thankfully, a team of boffin wizards people at Collins were on-hand to compile a handy guide.
Contents |
A
- amazingly good reasons
- amazingly good reasons for Merlin, or;
- financial reasons.
B
- best possible value
- spend the most possible money
- boffin wizards
- finance department
C
- customer research
- some idealistic user personas haphazardly drawn up for management
D
E
F
- fizzy for longer
- exactly the same as before, only in smaller amounts.
G
- glad you asked
- glad you asked a question we've prepared an answer for (don't ask anything serious, like we'd be able to answer that)
H
I
- improving your experience
- raising prices and reducing the service, but telling customers it is a better product
J
K
L
M
- magic
- Editor note: we really don't know what this actually means.
N
O
P
Q
R
S
- spellbinding
- good enough to sell an annual pass renewal next year
T
U
V
- valued passholders
- Synonymous with 'valued bank balances'
