Flambo's Feast

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Flambo's Feast is a restaraunt at [[Splash Landings Hotel]], infamous for the immediate appeal to [[chav]]s and the overweight. The restaraunt is an all-you can eat buffet; sadly, some view this as more of a challenge than a status. Where else could you gorge yourelf whilst a lemur prances around in Staffordshire? Which proves just how valuable [Alton Towers]is to residents of [[Alton]]. A typical selection is as follows:
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Flambo's Feast is [[Splash Landings Hotel]]'s restaurant, infamous for the immediate appeal to [[Chav|Chavs]] and the overweight, where all the food is freshly picked from the local grocers, butchers, bakers and other regional food traders (Certainly not Asda) and chosen for its <s>junk</s> healthy appeal. The restaurant is an all you can eat buffet; sadly, some view this as more of a challenge than a status. Where else could you gorge yourelf whilst a lemur prances around in Staffordshire?  
== Food On Offer ==
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'''''NO''''' health foods (Unless you count deep-fat fried brocolli? Though not.)
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The restaurant itself is very nicely decorated to fit in with the 'Caribbean island somehow stuck within a Midlands hotel' theme but it is not ideal to enter for food purposes. Ever.
 
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Burgers (made from our old barnyard friends)
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Chips (burnt to perfection)
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Fish fingers (the reason [[sharkbait reef]] is empty)
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Chicken Nuggets/Sausages/'Well Done' Steak (all made using... animal... stuff.)
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Foreign 'Delights' - (they don't like tourists here)
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Chocolate puddings/Ice-cream (Aldi value range, no less!)
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Beans (skin and all, including more chips)
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Pasties - To old to sell at Pirates Pasty, so found a home here.
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And of course, it is sold after being stewing in grease and lard, to give it an extra delicious 'shine'.
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Or, of course, you could just avoid damage to your intestines and you wallet by ordering a pizza.
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Revision as of 17:04, 18 November 2010

Flambo's Feast is Splash Landings Hotel's restaurant, infamous for the immediate appeal to Chavs and the overweight, where all the food is freshly picked from the local grocers, butchers, bakers and other regional food traders (Certainly not Asda) and chosen for its junk healthy appeal. The restaurant is an all you can eat buffet; sadly, some view this as more of a challenge than a status. Where else could you gorge yourelf whilst a lemur prances around in Staffordshire?

The restaurant itself is very nicely decorated to fit in with the 'Caribbean island somehow stuck within a Midlands hotel' theme but it is not ideal to enter for food purposes. Ever.