Hex - The Other Not As Well Known Legend of the Towers

It was a pleasant Autumn due to central heating, in 1821, when the Earl discovered that it was magic pixies that brought firewood to the fires of the Towers.

Unfortunately, the pixies demanded payment in Burger King bacon double cheeseburgers, but the Earl refused as he didn't get annual pass discount on those. He then proceeded to chaining the pixies in a secret vault as, after reasonable thinking, found them to be rare animals and needed experimenting on.

Outraged by this the pixies sprinkled a curse, for every branch of the magical oak tree, nearby which will be wrapped in chains because its in bondage, that falls, in the future one of the parks theme park rides would suddenly and mysteriously breakdown!

True to the pixies word, on the 26th of June 2010 Th13teen had a technical problem!

ZOMFG!!!!!!

Upon the opening of ThiThreeTeen, some tree surgeons happened to pay the tree a visit. They discovered some nasty rot, and caused a miserable Easter visit for the Generic Public, who stood in the queue for it twice and didn't go home feeling remotely bitter about it all.

Legend has it that visitors to Alton Towers that year were so enraged by the blatant false advertising of the ride that they demanded that the marketing director be chained up, in a bid to prevent further bullshit.

The man whom chained the director up was supposedly a Mr John Wardley.

John Wardley became so obsessed with the rubbish that fell out of the marketing director's mouth that he sealed her within a secret love nest, the entrance to which is believed to be near the front door of Duel. There he became locked in a furious battle of truth vs. exaggeration, conducting bizarre sexual acts in a desperate attempt to rid enthusiasts across the land of their anguish at reading the latest publicity stunt.

FOREVEEEEEEEEEEER.