Cloud Cuckoo Land

Cloud COCKCuckoo Land is one of the newer areas of Alton Towers, catering to the under 12s as a delusional land of fancy... with big painted flowers on the wall. Everything is meant to be in a horrible shade of pastel in order to make this delusion work. Cloud Cuckoo Land is also the home of many bees.

We're not taking drugs, promise!

Cloud Cuckoo Land is thought to be one of the most rethemed areas in the entire park, because the interests of children change so often that Alton Towers must run along with the demographic to keep up, thus bringing the current amount of rethemes up to n.

The most remembered themed areas are Cred Street and Land of Make Believe.

Cloud Cuckoo Land is also home to Snorlix the Dragon, who is possibly more harmless than the Wraiths but that is currently being put up for discussion.

Current Rides and Attractions

• Driving School - The perfect driving ride for any youngster who wishes to collect speeding tickets.

• Frog Hopper - The world's most defying and feared drop tower... themed as a frog.

• Gallopers Carousel - Possibly the campiest, brightly painted carousel in existence. It is advised that if you're male, you do not ride under any circumstances. No real reason. Just that you'll look stupid.

(Bit short 'innit)

Former Rides and Attractions

• Toyland Tours - Was one of the best ever, most exciting and thrilling, amazing, spectacular, wonderful, awesome, brilliant and exceeding expectation ride in the whole of creation. Strangely enough, John Wardley may not have had a hand in making this former wonderful boat sensation. Was also home to...

• Nickleodeon Outta Control - SBNO attraction between 1997 and 1998, hiding behind where Frog Hopper is now. Was an attempt to cashwhore in on the cartoon channel Nickleodeon's success but due to crap low through-put, was closed. The interior is still intact however.

• Doom And Sons - The park's first scare attraction, preceding The Haunted House and according to reviews, was good. Sadly there isn't enough information or photos of the former attraction to actually talk about it.

• Ice Age - The 4D Experience - Installed to prove that even the Ice Age had warmer weather than Staffordshire.

• Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: The Ride - Do you like chocolate? Do you like factories? Do you like Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Even if you do, then DON'T RIDE THIS.

• Twirling Toadstool - The world's most horrific and frightening Wave Swinger.