Hungry Harbouritis

Hungry Harbouritis as faxed through to us upon discovery

Hungry Harbouritis is a medical condition that can be contracted from eating food at Lightwater Valley.

The symptoms are compounded if the patient has also contracted Ultimache. Studies have shown that 90% of patients contracting Hungry Harbouritis also experienced Ultimache complications in the same period.

Common symptoms

Known symptoms of Hungry Harbouritis include:

• grease-laden hands from the poorly-cleaned seating area
• inflammation of the throat, due to high salt content in the pizza
• increased hunger levels, from small food portions
• potential paper digestive issues, due to ingestion of meal deal vouchers (upon realisation that they have higher nutritional content than the food)
• heightened awareness of the poor quality of Lightwater Valley, resulting in an early departure from the park
• increased resemblance of facial features to starchy vegetables (eg. potatoes)