James
James is a mostly unknown man who is believed to live in the roof of the crypt building in Thirteen at Alton Towers. John Wardley is a good friend of his and visits him in the crypt once every week to give him food.
James is revealed
James first became known to the public during a behind the scenes tour of Thirteen in 2010, when John Wardley felt compelled to ask James if he was alright half way through making a speech on Thirteen's hydraulic drop. Wardley quickly recognised that he had ruined James' secrecy and visibly showed this by pulling a funny face. He quickly tried to distract people from what he had just done by saying one of his many awesome quotations: "So that... in a nutshell... is it." His quick minded thinking paid off, since everybody was so dazzled by that awesome words that he had just spoken that they very nearly forgot about James.
The meaning of James
Rumours suggest that James is actually a pet wraith, whilst others say that he is John Wardley's son. There have been several reported sightings of James by people who claim they saw somebody peering down from the roof of the crypt whilst riding Thirteen. However, none of these sightings have been proven to be genuine. Top Wardleyologians believe that James is not a physical being, but a metaphor representing the pain and suffering experienced by John Wardley after the loss of many of his classic rides, such as the Haunted House and Professor Burp's Bubbleworks, at the hands of the late Tussaudes Group. However, it has been disputed within the Church of Wardleyism whether this is the true meaning of James or not. Other suggestions are that James is the ghost of Wardley's Jacket, still haunting Alton Towers after being stolen by a member of TST so they could sleep with a sample of John Wardley's DNA unfortunately misplaced.
