Wardley's Tunnels

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Well... what can we say? John Wardley loves his tunnels.

Long... deep... dark... tunnels...

Short... narrow... rather light reflecting... knee splatting tunnels....

It's true! It may just be an odd fetish of his in some ways, but we still bow down to his Godlike powers and guns.

Look at:

Contents

Particular Wardley's Tunnels

  • Vampire - It uzed to hav von vlong, rocky tunnvel, but zis got shortenhed zeveral yhears aftzer ze rhide openhed!
  • Professor Burp's Bubbleworks - Originally known as the "Decontamination Chamber", in which riders would pass under a large machine into a short tunnel with a few strobes in it. But now it is just yellow. Just yellow.
  • Haunted House - "Tunnel of Doom". A medium sized, rotating depiction of Hell entered through a skull-like effigy... tunnel. That is all.
  • Terror Tomb - A random, dark tunnel that riders pass through whilst in the tomb, painted with orange cracks. It was originally not in The Fifth Dimension, because Wardley only discovered his love for tunnels several years after the ride was built. In fact, the only reason that the Fifth Dimension was rethemed into Terror Tomb was because it needed a tunnel.
  • Nemesis - Two in total. Two very fast tunnels...
  • Oblivion - ONE LONG, DEEP, DARK TUNNEL. Possibly his sexiest and most-made euphemism.
  • Air - 2, including the entrance tunnel to the lift hill. That latter is not so much a sexy tunnel.
  • Th13teen - Technically this tunnel is one of Wardley's. The tunnel is prominent within the Crypt itself as you go speeding backwards through a long, jaunty and cold tunnel.

Less well known, not necessarily Wardley Tunnels

  • Frog Hopper - The entrance, or even existence of this tunnel was a complete mystery until it was discovered by the RMT on that messy night at the Weathervane when Thirteen was created. What, you didn't know about that?

Sacrilegious Tunnels

It is common fact that many parks have tunnels that God did not create and do not adhere to the laws of Wardley's Tunnels, which makes a bit of logical sense seeing as they weren't of his splendifferous creations.

  • Nemesis Inferno - The mist tunnel is enjoyed by some enthusiasts but sadly does not live up to the theming expectations.
  • Colossus - A few short tunnels. They are vaguely liked.
  • Ribena Rumba Rapids - One long tunnel that is despised for its lazy fairy lighting and left Ribena sponsership theming, alongside a long waterfall on the side that funnily enough doesn't get you wet.

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