Wardley's Words

Because he is our almighty God and Overlord of British theme parks, John Wardley is always bound to discuss his ideas and beliefs in and about the theme park industry.

And so from this in consequence, he will proceed to give us budding enthusiasts rather thought provoking, inspiring and often very amusing quotes. Sometimes these quotes will evolve into memes and most likely enough, Youtube videos in a CassetteBoy fashion. The reasoning behind these intriguing and amusing quotes is how deadpan and monotone our beloved God is about his creations, especially when he is giving a running commentary whilst riding and chatting about the theme park industry.

His vocal enthusiasm will be with us forever.

Quotations

Alton Towers

Air

• Well something everyone wants to do, is to fly.

• Here we go, down the first drop. And you're like a bird! You're flying through the air!

• It's an amazing sensation!

• There's three things I'd like to say regarding the Air tunnel, and they are: Get. A. Life.

Enterprise

• So when I'm on this wheel spinning round as I am, I don't really want to go round in a circle at all! I want to projected in a dead straight line!

Nemesis

• This is the site of Nemesis: The Ride. Now for the technically minded, it is a multi inversion suspended rollercoaster. But for the rest of you, it's just designed to scare you sh!tless!

• WOW!

• ... Through a tunnel, out of the tunnel there, does another corkscrew over there into another underground tunnel there under the station...

• They (Tussauds) wanted something big, but not too high, for planning reasons. They wanted something different... but not too high, for planning reasons. And something exciting!... But not too high, for planning reasons.

• It's, err, haha, wow.

• Down, and into another tunnel!

Oblivion

• We're entertainers: The fact that we use concrete and steel to do our entertaining as opposed to a piece of Shakespearean text or whatever, is immaterial.

• So you are engaging on a chain.

• For most people it feels like 33 seconds, it feels like an eternity.

• The clutch is gonna release, and away we go!

Th13teen

• Rollercoasters are very predictable, you know what they're gonna do. They're gonna go up high and they're gonna go like that *does an impression of Colossus with his arm* and they're gonna come back into the station. But Alton Towers doesn't do it that way. Alton Towers tries to be different.

• On the end of the track is a large ball.

• This thing goes up and down, up and down all the time.

Misc

• I had always wanted to do a good fun, laugh in the dark dark ride. - on the Haunted House

• We were determined not to build a ride called "It's a Small Haunted Carribean Mansion. - on The Fifth Dimension, Chessington World of Adventures & during the Th13teen event.

• Interaction between the two rides, you see! *giggle* - on the Runaway Mine Train and Congo River Rapids.

Chessington World of Adventures

• So we installed a Pneumatic Elephant at the end, which waves its trunk and literally squirts you as you come into the station. And guests LOVE THAT! - on Dragon Falls

• Ahhhhhh, the Bubbleworks.

• Consequently, on opening day, my old heart was really fluttering, I just didn't know whether people were going to like it.

General

• I don't actually create the rollercoasters.

• We're playing with people's emotions and giving them an entertaining time.

• ... down into a tunnel.

• Now on a normal rollercoaster, you couldn't do this.

• It's very smooth.

• There are two types of people, those who divide people into two categories and those who don't.

• Have you ever tried to tell a joke to an American? The chances are, if you do it will fail miserably.

Roller Coaster Tycoon 3

• As a real rollercoaster designer, the first thing I have to think of is safety, but with rollercoaster tycoon, we can kinda push it right to the limits.

• We've made some wacky stuff and had a few collisions talking on RCT3.