Velocity

Velocity is a Vekoma Turbo Bike, dumped in Flamingo Land, North Yorkshire. With the same goal as many other coasters 'oop North', it aims only to thrill and occasionally maim the chav population, and cause as much faff as possible.

Ride Experience

Rather cleverly, (by Flamingo Land's standards, at least), Velocity boasts not one, but two, queue lines. However, at least one is always closed. The second opens on only high capacity days, or when no-one can be arsed to close it the the following day. Whilst you enter the queue line, the colour scheme makes an effort to disable your eyes; using a charming mixture of luminous orange and sky blues to burn through your pupils. If it is unsuccesful, you may continue up the relatively fast moving queue.

As you near the boarding point, you see the motorbikes for the first time. Then the faff begins. A desperate fumble for the front begins, and then when this is taken, people are desperate to sit next to their friends. Because of the seating, riders are forced to sit in pairs, which is almost ALWAYS to the inconvenience of the biggest faffers.

Once the matter is resolved, you are in your seat, and ready to go, you may notice that you are comfortable. A little too comfortable. Then, out of nowehere, appears a ride op, adjusting each seat to maximise discomfort. He slams to restraint into your chest, and you feel a pressing pain all over your body. Sometimes, for males, it is not unusual to experience agony in the genital area. The train is then dispatched round a corner where it suddenly stops. An engine revs, and deafens you. Then, completely out of synchronisation with the revving, you are propelled relatively fast along a straight track into various thrill parts, in this case proving very painful. You then hit a killer brake, and then, you truly know, that the faff is over.

The Theming

There is none. Whatsoever.