Gallopers Carousel
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| − | Gallopers Carousel is the campest, most outrageously painted carousel you will ever experience. Ever. Situated in [[Cloud Cuckoo Land]], it is a long serving member of the park, but is frequently forgotten and left out by other attractions. | + | Gallopers Carousel is the campest, most outrageously painted carousel you will ever experience. Ever. Situated in [[Cloud Cuckoo Land]], it is a long serving member of the park, but is frequently forgotten and left out by other attractions because it seriously cannot be bothered enough to move. It is also a 'historical' and 'needed' part of the theme park world that [[Alton Towers]] lives in. |
| + | [[File:Gallopers0901.jpg|300px|thumb|left|Men. This has the potential to damage your pride, your dignity and your masculinity.]] | ||
| + | No particular reason. A carousel, if be gay, is needed to complete the random experience. | ||
| − | + | Enjoyed by the homosexual, under-eight and midget population, it is generally unappreciated by the public, despite many years of loyal service. | |
| − | If you can bring yourself to look at it, you will find a 'lively' mixture of colours blaring at you in the face. | + | |
| − | + | If you can bring yourself to look at it, you will find a 'lively' mixture of colours blaring at you in the face which gives the name of ''Gay Carousel''. You will find your eyes staring at the pastel choice of horses (or such things), that attempt to make you think: | |
| + | |||
| + | ''"Aaw, it's not so bad!"'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | But beware... This ride is incredibly decieving... | ||
| + | |||
| + | For '''men'''. | ||
| + | |||
| + | === Ride Experience === | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''If you are female/child under 12:''' | ||
| + | |||
| + | You sit on something that is cute to an extent. Wait for the ride operator to stop the [[faff]]. The ride spins slowly in a circle. Your animal seat may start bobbing up and down, shaking slightly. Optional child screaming to get off. Sit through this for 3 minutes. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''If you are male, either:''' | ||
| + | |||
| + | A. You try to sit down on something that appears as masculine as possible. Fellow males snigger at you. Wait for the ride operator to stop the faff. The ride spins slowly in a circle. Your animal seat may start bobbing up and down, shaking slightly. Optional child screaming to get off. Your friends burst into simultaneous fits of laughter. Sit through this for 3 minutes. | ||
| + | |||
| + | B. You avoid this like the plague and run off to whore [[Rita]]. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''If you are a TSTer:''' | ||
| + | |||
| + | You sit down on anything you want and begin cracking lewd jokes, whilst waiting for the ride operator to stop faffing. The ride spins slowly in a circle, pretend to scream and laugh at each other's expenses. Your seat may start bobbing up and down shaking slightly. Optional laughing over optional child screaming to get off. Crack more lewd jokes. Sit through this for 3 minutes. | ||
| + | |||
| + | [[Category: Ride]] | ||
| + | [[Category:Alton Towers]] | ||
Latest revision as of 23:32, 27 February 2013
Gallopers Carousel is the campest, most outrageously painted carousel you will ever experience. Ever. Situated in Cloud Cuckoo Land, it is a long serving member of the park, but is frequently forgotten and left out by other attractions because it seriously cannot be bothered enough to move. It is also a 'historical' and 'needed' part of the theme park world that Alton Towers lives in.
No particular reason. A carousel, if be gay, is needed to complete the random experience.
Enjoyed by the homosexual, under-eight and midget population, it is generally unappreciated by the public, despite many years of loyal service.
If you can bring yourself to look at it, you will find a 'lively' mixture of colours blaring at you in the face which gives the name of Gay Carousel. You will find your eyes staring at the pastel choice of horses (or such things), that attempt to make you think:
"Aaw, it's not so bad!"
But beware... This ride is incredibly decieving...
For men.
[edit] Ride Experience
If you are female/child under 12:
You sit on something that is cute to an extent. Wait for the ride operator to stop the faff. The ride spins slowly in a circle. Your animal seat may start bobbing up and down, shaking slightly. Optional child screaming to get off. Sit through this for 3 minutes.
If you are male, either:
A. You try to sit down on something that appears as masculine as possible. Fellow males snigger at you. Wait for the ride operator to stop the faff. The ride spins slowly in a circle. Your animal seat may start bobbing up and down, shaking slightly. Optional child screaming to get off. Your friends burst into simultaneous fits of laughter. Sit through this for 3 minutes.
B. You avoid this like the plague and run off to whore Rita.
If you are a TSTer:
You sit down on anything you want and begin cracking lewd jokes, whilst waiting for the ride operator to stop faffing. The ride spins slowly in a circle, pretend to scream and laugh at each other's expenses. Your seat may start bobbing up and down shaking slightly. Optional laughing over optional child screaming to get off. Crack more lewd jokes. Sit through this for 3 minutes.
