Theme Park Withdrawal

Theme park withdrawal is a condition which affects many roller coaster enthusiasts. It originates in the temporal lobe of the brain shortly after departure from a theme park, in particular those located on the Staffordshire moorlands. The condition may be intensified by post-meet trauma.

Symptoms of this disease include a desire for escapism or theatrical brilliance, and unexplainable faffiness. More serious symptoms result in the continued humming of theme music, watching POV videos, or memorisation of ride backstories.

Whilst the only known cure for this condition is revisiting a theme park, doctors are exploring the possibility that drinking from theme park mugs or wearing ride-branded clothing may temporarily reduce the effects.