Blade

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Smug Huss sitting in a superior ride's seat.

THE Blade is a Huss swinging ship located in the grave of the former Thunderlooper from the 1990s, in the aptly named area of Forbidden Valley.

The ride comes with two real blades at the ends in order to successfully maim anybody who dares step upon the former ride's resting place, whilst the ride is in motion that is. It is also a dealer in faff, this is but an automatic function as a swinging ship much like Black Buccaneer at Chessington World of Adventures and Mr Monkey's Banana Ride at Thorpe Park, and also an automatic function as a Huss creation.

Where The Heck IS The Blade?!

Sandwiched between Ripsaw and Nemesis, The Blade sits rather peacefully with the queueline unnoticed to just about everyone and the ride itself in full view within the pit.

Thus some visitors trying to find the queue entrance are very much... bamboozled and end up having to go for the Disabled entrance instead. This doesn't work. By the time the real queue entrance is found, visitors are too tired to go on it after doing a long walking spree across Forbidden Valley and so sit back to watch more people fail in queueing.

If people can actually locate the queue entrance within two minutes, they've more or less bound to start queueing for the ride and so begin a longer wait than it says on the queue time boards/shows from the view across from Burger King on the opposite side, due to the ride's unfortunate faffery.

The Closure That Didn't Happen

In 2015, the new park map revealed that Blade would be making an exit from the park. Only it didn't. It is rumoured that a staff member had got confused between the two flat rides in Forbidden Valley when being ordered to dismantle the ride, so by the end of the season Ripsaw had been dismantled instead, leaving Blade as the only flat in Forbidden Valley. Except for Forbidden Sweep, of course.

The Other Closure That Didn't Happen

In the 2020 closed season, Blades Blade Dodgy boat with spikes on the end was removed. Creating a high amount of excitement in the Alton towers community as they believed this confirmed the rumours that Alton towers were indeed running for the worlds lowest flat ride count. However, it is sadly back to normal operation.

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