Alton Towers
(Broken link with my added Cloud COCKoo Land thingy. Not sure about Maccies or Pirate Land, aaar.) |
(Added logo. MOAR PICTURES. Also, reckon we should put the rides/attractions into their affiliated lands naoz?) |
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The park is named after the manor-like ruins of a family estate, which stand on top of a hill opposite the main entrance past a very, very, very, very huge lake containing a [[Giant Squid|giant squid]]. There is also a slightly interesting garden. It is common misconception that the ruins are a [[Castle|castle]]. No don't be stupid. That is not a [[Castle|castle]], that is nowhere near a [[Castle|castle]], you blithering idiot. There is already a [[Castle|castle]] in Alton and it's OUTSIDE OF THE PARK, named Alton [[Castle|Castle]]. It's too small to be a [[Castle|castle]] anyway! | The park is named after the manor-like ruins of a family estate, which stand on top of a hill opposite the main entrance past a very, very, very, very huge lake containing a [[Giant Squid|giant squid]]. There is also a slightly interesting garden. It is common misconception that the ruins are a [[Castle|castle]]. No don't be stupid. That is not a [[Castle|castle]], that is nowhere near a [[Castle|castle]], you blithering idiot. There is already a [[Castle|castle]] in Alton and it's OUTSIDE OF THE PARK, named Alton [[Castle|Castle]]. It's too small to be a [[Castle|castle]] anyway! | ||
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The home used to be the summer residence of the wealthy Talbot family, best known for the inherited title, Earl of Shrewsbury. This is the same family responsible for [[Hex: The Legend of The Towers]] happening, a <s>un</s>true account of the 18th Earl of Shrewsbury deciding not to pay tax to a government crone. | The home used to be the summer residence of the wealthy Talbot family, best known for the inherited title, Earl of Shrewsbury. This is the same family responsible for [[Hex: The Legend of The Towers]] happening, a <s>un</s>true account of the 18th Earl of Shrewsbury deciding not to pay tax to a government crone. | ||
Revision as of 11:33, 9 August 2010
Alton Towers is a theme park in Staffordshire, England, which this entire Wikipedia is about... almost and is blatantly the best in all of the UK for everything. The park is awesomes. And anybody here would not beg to differ because they are delusional.
The park is named after the manor-like ruins of a family estate, which stand on top of a hill opposite the main entrance past a very, very, very, very huge lake containing a giant squid. There is also a slightly interesting garden. It is common misconception that the ruins are a castle. No don't be stupid. That is not a castle, that is nowhere near a castle, you blithering idiot. There is already a castle in Alton and it's OUTSIDE OF THE PARK, named Alton Castle. It's too small to be a castle anyway!
The home used to be the summer residence of the wealthy Talbot family, best known for the inherited title, Earl of Shrewsbury. This is the same family responsible for Hex: The Legend of The Towers happening, a untrue account of the 18th Earl of Shrewsbury deciding not to pay tax to a government crone.
The park opened in 1980 with the Corkscrew roller coaster, and was immediately praised by the public for being a better than good theme park in England. Since then, Alton Towers has had a multitude of various rides ranging from the tame and meek to zOMFG, to appeal to all ages.
If anybody in park is found to dislike everything and anything in park, proclaiming somewhere like Thorpe Park is better, then they are fed to the giant squid and their relatives/friends/co-workers minds are erased of their existence. This is the reason why chavs are currently in the 'Threatened: Vulnerable' category of the Conservation status.
Alton Towers are famous for having a monofail manufactured by Von Roll, and opened by William Shatner of Star Trek fame. How's that for publicity?
Contents |
Rides & Attractions
Please note: this section is a work in progress.
Rollercoasters
Thrill Rides
Water Rides
Family Rides
Kids Rides
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
- Heave-Ho
- Squirrel Nutty
- Gallopers Carousel
- Peugeot Driving School
- Frog Hopper
- Riverbank Eye Spy
- Doodle Doo Derby
- Old MacDonald's Tractor Ride
Transport
Misc
- Haunted Hollow
- Sharkbait Reef
- Towers Complex & Gardens
- The Dungheap
- (and anything else deemed worthy of a page)
