Chessington World of Adventures

Revision as of 17:32, 25 October 2010

Chessington World of Adventures is a Southern theme park and zoo in England, which has been proven to be a much better theme park than Thorpe Park, Legoland and Paultons Park due to the consistent lack of chavs, actually good rides and for being developed in the late 1980s by John Wardley. Chessington is widely known for it's stereotypically themed lands such as Mystic East, Forbidden Kingdom, Mexicana, Pirates Cove and to a large extent, Transylvania. This is typically highlighted by theming, music and ride announcements.

History

Before the park existed, the Burnt Stub Mansion had been there for 3,000 years. It's not very interesting so that point won't be developed. Sometime later, a man found potential in the empty land in Chessington and decided to build a zoo with a child scaring facility in order to gain lots of monies. Soon everybody was flocking to Chessington because of the animals and to potentially scar their children for the rest of their lives.

A few years after the park was bought by Tussauds, when everyone had seen the animals at least 600 times, the park was deemed disinteresting. At this point management called in God, hoping that he would take a look around and make a miracle of the park. Fortunately, he did, and the heavens rejoiced!

In just six days, God created The Fifth Dimension, Vampire, Professor Burp's Bubbleworks and many other awesome rides and themed areas. The public once again flocking in large numbers, proving God's work an excellent success. Sadly though, The Fifth Dimension was changed into Terror Tomb in 1994, and then in to Tomb Blaster. Bubbleworks was rethemed from a pop drink factory into a Cussons Product Whore factory.

Modern Day

The most recent land added to Chessington is Wild Asia, based around a wild form of Asia with snakes and pretty birds to make it more 'exotic'. In the centre of this area are two enlarged Arboks, locked together forever. These Pokemon are forcefully attached to a Disk-O coaster stolen from Paultons Park. Unfortunately, many believe this is a roller coaster when in fact it is not, and it is simply a ride that happens to be on a track.

Currently, in the Vampire queueline, there stands a "Evil Satan Minion National Park", situated next to the very popular mid-queue shop. This is the reason that it takes so long to board Vampire. In order to keep minion numbers down, Chessington have situated clones of Abdab in cloaks from the previous Terror Tomb ride around the queueline, in the hope of frightening them back to their spawners.

"We're Better Than Thorpe Park!"

As amazing and spectacular a park Chessington is, customer service can be poor, though not as poor as the service at Thorpe Park, which is indomitably terrible. However, at Chessington the staff, ride hosts and operators brighten up the day, unlike at Thorpe Park, where they stand around doing nothing. A good example of this customer service is on Rameses Revenge (Better known as Ripsaw Ripoff or Rammeh), where a German ride op makes each ride a little faster and much more water sprayed whenever Alton Towers or Ripsaw is mentioned, thus creating banter-to-extent-abuse with the customers.

Current Rides and Attractions

Roller Coasters

• Dragons Fury
• Rattlesnake
• Runaway Train
• Vampire

Thrill Rides

• Kobra
• Rameses Revenge

Family Rides

• Black Buccaneer
• Carousel
• Monkey Swinger
• Seastorm
• Tomb Blaster
• Tuk Tuk Turmoil

Kiddie Rides

• Berry Bouncers
• Flying Jumbos
• Griffon's Galleon
• Jungle Bus
• Sea Dragons
• Tiny Truckers
• Toadie's Crazy Cars

Water Rides

• Bubbleworks
• Dragon Falls

Misc

• Hocus Pocus Hall
• Lorikeet Lagoon
• Peeking Heights
• Sea Life
• Temple of Mayhem