James564
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Oblivion
Hello! I'm sure there are thousands of Alton Towers trip reports out there and we could all write novels on how many times we've been but as my trip this week was the first time I've been since the pandemic started to settle down and new rides my expectations were a little different.
Mardi Gras
Admittedly this isn't an event that I'd have gone to Alton specifically for, it just happened to be on at the same time. I liked the park decorations and they've clearly put a lot of love into the costumes and static floats. Somewhat unexpectedly I really liked Food Street. We were there for three days so tried food from a different place on each day, it was all decent though obviously it wasn't cheap. It was nice to some life in the place and despite just being hire-in food trucks you'd find anywhere it did have a nice social atmosphere that I've missed greatly during the past year. Lunch on the lawns by the Towers is definitely a new love I've found, especially watching the people trying the golf game.
It was great to see entertainment making a come back beyond Cbeebies however we couldn't see any show times for the carnival floats anywhere so we didn't actually see any performances taking place on these sadly. We did see the Time Traveller show on the lawn wasn't as good as previous shows (Quest for the Golden Parrot and Curse of the Red Skull!) but it's okay if you've got kids and just to have something to watch whilst you're eating - I wouldn't go out of my way to watch it. I'd love to see more entertainment aimed at teenagers and adults. I loved the humour you got from the pirates driving around Mutiny Bay in their mobility scooter ship - small things like this would be a massively welcomed return for me.
Retrosquad
I've kept a fairly open mind about the Retrosquad, I don't really do flat rides or anything that spins too much but now I've seen it in person I do quite rate them for using a bit of initiative to help bring the queues down even if it did mean going against the themes of the existing areas. I rode Funk 'n Fly and the Sizzler (can't remember it's Retrosquad name for the life of me) and enjoyed them both - Funk 'n Fly is a hell of a lot faster than it looks! It's great to finally have good spectator rides back in the park too; I used to really enjoy watching Ripsaw and Submission with a drink and snack. I hope the reception they've received shows the park how badly they need to invest in some permanent flats; the persistent mobile notifications for surveys on them everytime you walk past one did make me wonder if they're fishing for praise on them with a business case for new rides in mind.
Gangsta Granny
Until this was announced for Alton I'd never heard of Gangsta Granny (to be honest I didn't even know David Walliams wrote kiddy books - I don't have any!). I was generally impressed, the finale really caught me off guard. Really good to see a family dark ride added to the lineup since the demise of Charlie. The throughput at the moment with the current Covid restrictions is abysmal and the queue did seem to move at a snails pace and I wouldn't have wanted to go through it with impatient kids (70 mins on Thursday) but I'm sure that will improve when the last remaining restrictions are eased.
Duel
I have a huge soft spot for Duel; I'm pleased to see there's been some sort of attempt made to fix some of the bright patches around the bats and screaming heads where a section of wall hadn't been removed but the poor old girl really is a shadow of her former self. It sounds like the old Bose speakers are really on their way out now, there's one in particular in the garden which is just emitting what sounds like shrieking white noise so I hope an overhaul is in the pipeline (although a better overhaul than Hex's please!).
Splash Landings, Flambos & Secret Garden
I'm not really sure where to start! I haven't stayed in Splash Landings for about 10 years when I was 19 and there was a long session in Ma Garritas which has somewhat skewed my memory(!) but overall I have to say I wish we'd just stuck with Uttoxeter Premier Inn like we normally do. It should have been fairly obvious to me when booking that Splash is aimed at families rather than adult friends. The noise of kids running along corridors, slamming doors and the general chaos in the public areas I found quite stressful, the atmosphere isn't what I'd call relaxing.
I didn't realise how small the beds are, my friend and I are both tall and we don't share a bed so I took the bunk bed as she'd done the driving (unwritten rule between us!). The bunk was very creaky everytime I moved and the mattress was flat as pancake. In the end I dragged the mattress off the top bunk, laid it on top of mine and then it's bedding too, to make it more comfortable for me. They've clearly not designed for adults.
I could be wrong but I'm sure the left hand lift in Splash has been broken for over a year now? Happy to be corrected but it wasn't helping with the chaos.
Flambos at breakfast really was utterly chaotic as it always has been and whilst I'm not particularly fussed by the Coronavirus risk to a level that stops me enjoying myself but there seemed to be absolutely no measures being taken in there to mitigate risk and it was the first time in months I've felt uncomfortable about hygiene (the rides don't bother me at all) so it was very much eat and run. The tables are still very close together with people crammed in and squeezing past each other. I was a little surprised the fire exits and windows weren't open given there's a huge emphasis on ventilation at the moment (as is obvious with the cinema room in Hex). I couldn't help but think the talk they give about hygiene is all just theatre but that's a debate for another thread.
Breakfast and dinner at The Secret Garden the next day however were a totally different experience much more on par with what you'd get in a restaurant elsewhere. The food is a huge step up from anything Merlin offer elsewhere in my opinon and I really enjoyed it. I had the spiced bean burger and brandy basket ice cream and they were both absolutely delicious with restaurant quality presentation.
I do wish the park had accommodation that was suitable for adults sharing without children like a Premier Inn or Travelodge style proper twin / family room (and cheaper than the Treehouses!). It does seem to me from looking around like I'd have had the same experience with the rooms whether we were in Splash, ATH or the Enchanted Village, it feels like they don't have a product which matches what I wanted from the room but we can get it for a tiny fraction of the price down the road. Unfortunately there was little to draw me back into staying on site again for a little while.
I'm hoping to get back for Oktoberfest and if not then, I can't wait for Fireworks next!
If you've made it this far into my waffling, thanks for reading!
Mardi Gras
Admittedly this isn't an event that I'd have gone to Alton specifically for, it just happened to be on at the same time. I liked the park decorations and they've clearly put a lot of love into the costumes and static floats. Somewhat unexpectedly I really liked Food Street. We were there for three days so tried food from a different place on each day, it was all decent though obviously it wasn't cheap. It was nice to some life in the place and despite just being hire-in food trucks you'd find anywhere it did have a nice social atmosphere that I've missed greatly during the past year. Lunch on the lawns by the Towers is definitely a new love I've found, especially watching the people trying the golf game.
It was great to see entertainment making a come back beyond Cbeebies however we couldn't see any show times for the carnival floats anywhere so we didn't actually see any performances taking place on these sadly. We did see the Time Traveller show on the lawn wasn't as good as previous shows (Quest for the Golden Parrot and Curse of the Red Skull!) but it's okay if you've got kids and just to have something to watch whilst you're eating - I wouldn't go out of my way to watch it. I'd love to see more entertainment aimed at teenagers and adults. I loved the humour you got from the pirates driving around Mutiny Bay in their mobility scooter ship - small things like this would be a massively welcomed return for me.
Retrosquad
I've kept a fairly open mind about the Retrosquad, I don't really do flat rides or anything that spins too much but now I've seen it in person I do quite rate them for using a bit of initiative to help bring the queues down even if it did mean going against the themes of the existing areas. I rode Funk 'n Fly and the Sizzler (can't remember it's Retrosquad name for the life of me) and enjoyed them both - Funk 'n Fly is a hell of a lot faster than it looks! It's great to finally have good spectator rides back in the park too; I used to really enjoy watching Ripsaw and Submission with a drink and snack. I hope the reception they've received shows the park how badly they need to invest in some permanent flats; the persistent mobile notifications for surveys on them everytime you walk past one did make me wonder if they're fishing for praise on them with a business case for new rides in mind.
Gangsta Granny
Until this was announced for Alton I'd never heard of Gangsta Granny (to be honest I didn't even know David Walliams wrote kiddy books - I don't have any!). I was generally impressed, the finale really caught me off guard. Really good to see a family dark ride added to the lineup since the demise of Charlie. The throughput at the moment with the current Covid restrictions is abysmal and the queue did seem to move at a snails pace and I wouldn't have wanted to go through it with impatient kids (70 mins on Thursday) but I'm sure that will improve when the last remaining restrictions are eased.
Duel
I have a huge soft spot for Duel; I'm pleased to see there's been some sort of attempt made to fix some of the bright patches around the bats and screaming heads where a section of wall hadn't been removed but the poor old girl really is a shadow of her former self. It sounds like the old Bose speakers are really on their way out now, there's one in particular in the garden which is just emitting what sounds like shrieking white noise so I hope an overhaul is in the pipeline (although a better overhaul than Hex's please!).
Splash Landings, Flambos & Secret Garden
I'm not really sure where to start! I haven't stayed in Splash Landings for about 10 years when I was 19 and there was a long session in Ma Garritas which has somewhat skewed my memory(!) but overall I have to say I wish we'd just stuck with Uttoxeter Premier Inn like we normally do. It should have been fairly obvious to me when booking that Splash is aimed at families rather than adult friends. The noise of kids running along corridors, slamming doors and the general chaos in the public areas I found quite stressful, the atmosphere isn't what I'd call relaxing.
I didn't realise how small the beds are, my friend and I are both tall and we don't share a bed so I took the bunk bed as she'd done the driving (unwritten rule between us!). The bunk was very creaky everytime I moved and the mattress was flat as pancake. In the end I dragged the mattress off the top bunk, laid it on top of mine and then it's bedding too, to make it more comfortable for me. They've clearly not designed for adults.
I could be wrong but I'm sure the left hand lift in Splash has been broken for over a year now? Happy to be corrected but it wasn't helping with the chaos.
Flambos at breakfast really was utterly chaotic as it always has been and whilst I'm not particularly fussed by the Coronavirus risk to a level that stops me enjoying myself but there seemed to be absolutely no measures being taken in there to mitigate risk and it was the first time in months I've felt uncomfortable about hygiene (the rides don't bother me at all) so it was very much eat and run. The tables are still very close together with people crammed in and squeezing past each other. I was a little surprised the fire exits and windows weren't open given there's a huge emphasis on ventilation at the moment (as is obvious with the cinema room in Hex). I couldn't help but think the talk they give about hygiene is all just theatre but that's a debate for another thread.
Breakfast and dinner at The Secret Garden the next day however were a totally different experience much more on par with what you'd get in a restaurant elsewhere. The food is a huge step up from anything Merlin offer elsewhere in my opinon and I really enjoyed it. I had the spiced bean burger and brandy basket ice cream and they were both absolutely delicious with restaurant quality presentation.
I do wish the park had accommodation that was suitable for adults sharing without children like a Premier Inn or Travelodge style proper twin / family room (and cheaper than the Treehouses!). It does seem to me from looking around like I'd have had the same experience with the rooms whether we were in Splash, ATH or the Enchanted Village, it feels like they don't have a product which matches what I wanted from the room but we can get it for a tiny fraction of the price down the road. Unfortunately there was little to draw me back into staying on site again for a little while.
I'm hoping to get back for Oktoberfest and if not then, I can't wait for Fireworks next!
If you've made it this far into my waffling, thanks for reading!
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