Alix
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- The Swarm or Oblivion
Entertainment: 10/10
Queue times: 10/10
Facilities/cleanliness: 9/10
Ride availability: 9/10 (Mr Monkey’s Banana Ride testing but still closed)
Scrote Quotient: 1%
Steps 15,205
Distance covered 11.5km
Thorpe is fast becoming the Chimp’s second home. It’s so easy for us to get there down the M4, and the 1hr 45 drive each way is doable even when we stay for the whole park day. This is our 5th visit so far this year, so as we’ve already done all the big rides, I was hoping we’d be able to have a more relaxing day and take in some of the events put on for carnival.
All the rides were walk on (pretty much) for most of the day, although the park had plenty of people milling about so it didn’t feel dead. Ops were fairly good, and staying on was allowed where there was zero queue. Our ride count was:
Swarm x 3 (Chimp count - 11)
Stealth x 3
Colossus x 1
Saw x 2
Inferno x 3
TWD x 1
Ghost Train x 1 (Chimp x 0)
Rumba River Rapids x 1
Samurai x 1
Detonator x 1
Dodgems x 1
Black Mirror Labyrinth x 2 (both deleted)
As I’ve not done one before, I booked a ticket for Breakout at Bozos, the 8+ scare maze on for Carnival. Chimp had decided discretion is the better part of valour so was sitting this one out. Short queues meant we had done the big 5 by 1110, so I had a bit of time to kill before Bozo’s opened. For the first time in our theme parking lives, we found a bench and sat on it. It was near Black Mirror labyrinth though so not much to look at - bench score 2/3. We managed a good 20 minutes on that bench, then took a slow wander over the TWD.
It was then 12pm so I headed over to Breakout from Bozo’s. Parked the Chimp by the junkyard carnival stage, and headed in. I’ve not done a scare maze before so didn’t really know what to expect. It was rated 8+ so wasn’t particularly scary or gory, just a bit bemusing. I ended up behind two lads, one of whom jumped out of his skin very easily, but this meant I saw the jump scare coming and they tended to leave me alone (my Discord reputation proceeds me? With hindsight, I probably looked as if I was their mum keeping an eye on them so didn’t count as an actor target). So without any real spoilers, it’s a loud walk through various rooms with actors dressed as clowns trying to make you jump. I think when we come back with Chimp’s mate in a couple of weeks they’ll be able to do it, Chimp is not yet convinced.
When I “escaped” I found the Chimp back where I’d parked her, just as the fire eater was warming up. I think this routine would possibly have been better in the dark to make the flames more noticeable. The way she licked that firey pole was a tad suggestive - a bit of blue for the dads perhaps.
We stayed there for a bit and had a cup of tea and vegan cake from the Last Call Cafe - again, this is a new experience for us, and Chimp actually said it was nice to sit down and chill out! The vegan cake was a Jaffa cake inspired thing - tasted nice and was a big slice so we could share. A bunch of actors started roaming the area, juggling and making jokes etc and the Chimp has now decided some actors are ok… one of them drew her portrait (see photo).
Chimp was happy watching the shows so I joined the queue for ghost train. Advertised at 30 minutes. Ended up taking about an hour to be reunited with her and she was almost ready to join the circus at that point. Apparently the entertainers had been keeping her company whilst I’d been gone, she’d been minding their mime drinks for them and was all set to sign up and paint her face white there and then.
Chimpy show review: Whilst mum was in the Ghost Train I watched a fire dancer, a sword swallower and then a dance routine by the mimes. In between shows the mimes would come round and chat and do magic tricks - I had my portrait done by a lady who said it would be worth millions in the Tate. It was really fun and I am now not scared of actors (except the grave digger at towers).
Bench score 3/3. Close to the cafe for tea, close to the bar for beer (if that’s your thing) and front row seat for the entertainment.
Ghost train had a new bit from last time we were there - in between the waiting room and the train we stopped and watched a tv report that kept getting interference. The actors were too smiley to be scary, so much so that I think Chimp could’ve coped with this pair of demonic ticket inspectors.
The other Carnival themed area was the Circus near Saw so we headed over there to see what was happening. There were some singers, and fortune teller (our fortune was to win a big dog from one of the stalls - wasn’t going to happen at £3 a ball) and balloon modeller.
We had a slight altercation with some troublesome yoof on the exit to Saw so after using the report function (see, it, report it, Thorpe do naff all about it) we headed to another park of the park and ended up back at the Junkyard and Chimpy’s favourite bench. This time I was there to witness the horror of a man hammering a nail up his nose then swallowing a load of swords. I could barely watch, but Chimp loved every second. We got some (allegedly vegan) curly fries from the Carnival Food Truck, which were hot and tasty, then headed back to a picnic bench (3/3). The mimes were back and did a very good dance-off type performance, really putting everything into it which was nice to see. One of the mimes then came and did some card tricks for us, which thrilled the Chimp no end. It took a while to convince her to move on, but eventually the mimes went on their break and we headed back to the rides.
We then did a backwards pass of the park heading towards Swarm where Chimp finished the day on 10 rides back to back. I managed 2 but was suffering a slight grey out on the second pass through the billboard, so sat in the plaza and watched the Chimp fly past every couple of minutes for about half an hour.
All things considered, we had yet another great day at Thorpe. There was that slight incident, but with hindsight, I need to be more zen about queue jumping and then it wouldn’t have happened… Generally, the people were chilled and it was a relaxing day out. Queues were short but the place felt busy enough, and the entertainment was top notch. Our next visit to Towers is also likely to be less ride focussed due to having the small nephew with us, so we’ll be able to compare the entertainments.
(Chimp is not called Dan)
Queue times: 10/10
Facilities/cleanliness: 9/10
Ride availability: 9/10 (Mr Monkey’s Banana Ride testing but still closed)
Scrote Quotient: 1%
Steps 15,205
Distance covered 11.5km
Thorpe is fast becoming the Chimp’s second home. It’s so easy for us to get there down the M4, and the 1hr 45 drive each way is doable even when we stay for the whole park day. This is our 5th visit so far this year, so as we’ve already done all the big rides, I was hoping we’d be able to have a more relaxing day and take in some of the events put on for carnival.
All the rides were walk on (pretty much) for most of the day, although the park had plenty of people milling about so it didn’t feel dead. Ops were fairly good, and staying on was allowed where there was zero queue. Our ride count was:
Swarm x 3 (Chimp count - 11)
Stealth x 3
Colossus x 1
Saw x 2
Inferno x 3
TWD x 1
Ghost Train x 1 (Chimp x 0)
Rumba River Rapids x 1
Samurai x 1
Detonator x 1
Dodgems x 1
Black Mirror Labyrinth x 2 (both deleted)
As I’ve not done one before, I booked a ticket for Breakout at Bozos, the 8+ scare maze on for Carnival. Chimp had decided discretion is the better part of valour so was sitting this one out. Short queues meant we had done the big 5 by 1110, so I had a bit of time to kill before Bozo’s opened. For the first time in our theme parking lives, we found a bench and sat on it. It was near Black Mirror labyrinth though so not much to look at - bench score 2/3. We managed a good 20 minutes on that bench, then took a slow wander over the TWD.
It was then 12pm so I headed over to Breakout from Bozo’s. Parked the Chimp by the junkyard carnival stage, and headed in. I’ve not done a scare maze before so didn’t really know what to expect. It was rated 8+ so wasn’t particularly scary or gory, just a bit bemusing. I ended up behind two lads, one of whom jumped out of his skin very easily, but this meant I saw the jump scare coming and they tended to leave me alone (my Discord reputation proceeds me? With hindsight, I probably looked as if I was their mum keeping an eye on them so didn’t count as an actor target). So without any real spoilers, it’s a loud walk through various rooms with actors dressed as clowns trying to make you jump. I think when we come back with Chimp’s mate in a couple of weeks they’ll be able to do it, Chimp is not yet convinced.
When I “escaped” I found the Chimp back where I’d parked her, just as the fire eater was warming up. I think this routine would possibly have been better in the dark to make the flames more noticeable. The way she licked that firey pole was a tad suggestive - a bit of blue for the dads perhaps.
We stayed there for a bit and had a cup of tea and vegan cake from the Last Call Cafe - again, this is a new experience for us, and Chimp actually said it was nice to sit down and chill out! The vegan cake was a Jaffa cake inspired thing - tasted nice and was a big slice so we could share. A bunch of actors started roaming the area, juggling and making jokes etc and the Chimp has now decided some actors are ok… one of them drew her portrait (see photo).
Chimp was happy watching the shows so I joined the queue for ghost train. Advertised at 30 minutes. Ended up taking about an hour to be reunited with her and she was almost ready to join the circus at that point. Apparently the entertainers had been keeping her company whilst I’d been gone, she’d been minding their mime drinks for them and was all set to sign up and paint her face white there and then.
Chimpy show review: Whilst mum was in the Ghost Train I watched a fire dancer, a sword swallower and then a dance routine by the mimes. In between shows the mimes would come round and chat and do magic tricks - I had my portrait done by a lady who said it would be worth millions in the Tate. It was really fun and I am now not scared of actors (except the grave digger at towers).
Bench score 3/3. Close to the cafe for tea, close to the bar for beer (if that’s your thing) and front row seat for the entertainment.
Ghost train had a new bit from last time we were there - in between the waiting room and the train we stopped and watched a tv report that kept getting interference. The actors were too smiley to be scary, so much so that I think Chimp could’ve coped with this pair of demonic ticket inspectors.
The other Carnival themed area was the Circus near Saw so we headed over there to see what was happening. There were some singers, and fortune teller (our fortune was to win a big dog from one of the stalls - wasn’t going to happen at £3 a ball) and balloon modeller.
We had a slight altercation with some troublesome yoof on the exit to Saw so after using the report function (see, it, report it, Thorpe do naff all about it) we headed to another park of the park and ended up back at the Junkyard and Chimpy’s favourite bench. This time I was there to witness the horror of a man hammering a nail up his nose then swallowing a load of swords. I could barely watch, but Chimp loved every second. We got some (allegedly vegan) curly fries from the Carnival Food Truck, which were hot and tasty, then headed back to a picnic bench (3/3). The mimes were back and did a very good dance-off type performance, really putting everything into it which was nice to see. One of the mimes then came and did some card tricks for us, which thrilled the Chimp no end. It took a while to convince her to move on, but eventually the mimes went on their break and we headed back to the rides.
We then did a backwards pass of the park heading towards Swarm where Chimp finished the day on 10 rides back to back. I managed 2 but was suffering a slight grey out on the second pass through the billboard, so sat in the plaza and watched the Chimp fly past every couple of minutes for about half an hour.
All things considered, we had yet another great day at Thorpe. There was that slight incident, but with hindsight, I need to be more zen about queue jumping and then it wouldn’t have happened… Generally, the people were chilled and it was a relaxing day out. Queues were short but the place felt busy enough, and the entertainment was top notch. Our next visit to Towers is also likely to be less ride focussed due to having the small nephew with us, so we’ll be able to compare the entertainments.
(Chimp is not called Dan
)
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