Trip Report: Gothenburg City Escape, 20-23 September

[NuttySquirrel]

Premise: @NuttySquirrel convinces a non-enthusiast to accompany her to Liseberg to get one final use out of her EP Gold Pass before it expires. The thinking behind this obviously being flawed as obviously a 4-day trip to Sweden costs a lot more than 1-day free park entry will save. @NuttySquirrel decides to gloss over this bit of inconvenient logic and books anyway.

The trip gets off to a slightly rocky start...

Day 1: Travel day
Precisely 1.5 hours before leaving for the airport, Mr Squirrel realises he does not have a cabin bag the right size. Mrs Squirrel (who has packed the night before) thus does a mad dash to Cribbs Causeway to purchase a cabin bag. Mr Squirrel wants a 2-wheeled case. They are all 4-wheeled. Cue a telephone conversation about the merits of 2 vs 4 wheeled cases. Mrs Squirrel buys a 4-wheeled one. Mrs Squirrel realises on the way home that the car is f***ed. It has been having a braking overheating issue that should have been fixed but is now recurring. Mr Squirrel drives the car gingerly for 2 hrs on the M4; Mrs Squirrel expects the car to crash and burn any moment. They stop at three service stations to let the brakes cool down. Somehow, they make it to Heathrow Park & Ride ("formally Long-Stay Parking" [not my typo]). Mr Squirrel cannot believe how expensive airport parking at Heathrow is. Due to all the service-station hopping, they must head straight to the gate - no time to find the bar. They board a BA flight as Mr Squirrel no longer flies Ryanair (since the day he paid extra for a window and got a wall). The flight doesn't take off for 1h45m. Mrs Squirrel uses the time to check queue times at Liseberg. Helix died at 3pm and has not reopened. Mrs Squirrel needs a stiff drink, but alcohol service doesn't start until the plane is airborne. As soon as it's possible to do so, Mrs Squirrel orders an aperol spritz. The plane lands. Mrs Squirrel checks the Liseberg queue times again. This is not reassuring; Helix did not reopen before the park closed for the evening.

In Gothenburg, Mr & Mrs Squirrel arrive at their hotel at 10.30pm. The hotel can't find their booking. Eventually they sort out a room which is apparently an upgrade. It is one of the smallest rooms they've ever stayed in. Mrs Squirrel wishes she had forked out extra for the Grand Curiosa. Fortunately the room, though petite, is a few stumbles away from the hotel's rooftop bar. Mrs Squirrel is excited to find gluten-free beer at the bar - however the prices are less inspiring. To avoid having to take out a second mortgage, and because dividing by 13 to get the cost in GBP is making their heads hurt, Mr & Mrs Squirrel stumble back to their treehole after just one beer apiece. Given Mrs Squirrel's track record of hungover park days, this will probably turn out to be a sensible decision.

 

[Rob]

I probably shouldn't laugh, but that is one of my favourite starts to a trip report that I have read, wonderfully written! Why is it always when one thing goes wrong, everything goes wrong!?

 

[NuttySquirrel]

So clearly some of you found my retelling of the first day of this trip rather amusing. Disappointingly, our second day of the trip went much closer to plan so I can't promise the same levels of hilarity. On the plus side, it was a much more enjoyable day.

Day 2: Liseberg
After a rather stressful travelling day, it was a relief to both of us that an unreasonably early start wasn't required, as Liseberg's opening hours were 11am-10pm. Nevertheless, I was keen to get to the park before 10.30 as I was expecting large crowds - this being the final weekend of the park's summer season and seemingly unseasonably warm. Collecting my wristband using my EP pass was easy enough, however I didn't realise this would chuck me out parkside, and I had left Mr Squirrel on the other side of the turnstiles, so I nipped back out to collect him, only to then realise that my wristband had nothing for the park staff to scan for re-entry. Whoops. We played the 'clueless foreigner' card and blagged our way in.

I'd never been to this park before and didn't know my way around at all, but we found ourselves at the entrance to Helix and I decided it made sense to try to do this first, given the reliability issues I knew it had been having (not just the previous day but on previous weekends as well). At about 10.50 we realised it definitely wasn't about to open on time. Feeling as though I'd royally messed up the plan for this crucial early part of the day, we admitted defeat and headed over to the other side of the park.

Happily we found Balder with only a very short pre-queue, which meant we ended up on the third train of the day. Mr Squirrel nodded and made noises in all the right places as I explained to him how rare it was to find a wooden coaster made by Intamin. He found the sliding baggage holds rather more interesting (tbf, they are quite clever). We both questioned the need for fiddly seatbelts in addition to the pull-down restraints, which seemed to be having a detrimental effect on loading times, as the staff were having to go down the train to check seatbelts before activating the restraint locking (and then having to check those as well). Madness. I really enjoyed Balder, it's a brilliant wooden coaster and not rough at all - however I couldn't help thinking that it's a bit of a one-trick pony: airtime, airtime and more airtime, and I don't think I preferred it to something more forceful like Wodan. I also felt it had some warming up to do as it was clearly crawling its way around those banked turns.



Earlier in the Helix non-queue I'd managed to nab a virtual queuing slot for Valkyria and Mr Squirrel had got one for Loke, so these would be our next two rides. I should say a few words about virtual queuing at Liseberg: it's free but capacity is limited, so on busy days it's a case of 'grab what you can get'. Fortunately with two people in our party we were able to queue for two rides at the same time - I'm undecided whether this is cheating the system or not; perhaps with a larger group of 4+ it would feel more like taking the mickey. I'm unsure whether I felt it works or not; I don't really like having my head in my phone constantly refreshing instead of enjoying the park, but on busy days I guess it does allow you get on rides you might never have had time to queue for.

We had time to kill before our Valkyria booking, which was just as well because the locker system underneath the ride entrance is totally incomprehensible even if you speak the language, which I didn't. It took me a few minutes of fruitlessly stabbing at a screen in Swedish before I realised it was a collection screen only and I couldn't pay for a locker here. The price is nominal (5 SEK for 2 hours) but is obligatory as for some reason Valkyria doesn't have a bag store (why??). It's a tiny corridor and it was rammed, which made for a pretty stressful experience. We later realised you're better off paying for one of the lockers near the mirror maze which you can use all day (3O SEK IIRC) but then, those are a bit of a trek for Valkyria if that's all you're planning to use it for.

I did enjoy Valkyria despite all the locker faff - it's actually only the third B&M dive coaster I've done, and it was nice to do one that has an actual layout beyond the first drop. The drop itself didn't do a lot for me however, and the cars don't really hang you over the precipice the same way they do on Oblivion, but it was a fun ride and definitely worth virtually queuing for. It also has the newer-type vest restraints which feel a bit freer than the OTSRs.

Next up was Loke, an Intamin Gyroswing, which I admit I felt some trepidation about. I've done Cyclonator at Paultons a few times but that's a Zamperla Discovery and is a bit smaller; Loke seemed like its much bigger and meaner older cousin. Still we had queued for it (albeit virtually), so I strapped myself in. It definitely did feel more extreme than a Zamperla Discovery, and I think at one point I yelled at Mr Squirrel 'I'M NOT DOING THIS AGAIN' but as soon as the cycle ended immediately decided I would. Unfortunately due to its 50+ minute queue throughout the day and lack of VQ slots that would be our one and only ride, which is a shame as I'd have liked to do it at night - I guess there is always next time!

I had noticed from the top of Valkyria's lift hill that Helix was now sending trains round, and by the time we got off the ride could see there were people on it. Had we not had the VQ slot for Loke I'd have rushed over to it then, but it seemed wasteful to throw away the slot. Herein lies another downside to VQ - having slots lined up for specific times means you can't be as reactive to short queues or rides reopening. So by the time we got to Helix the queue was 30-40m, but quickly upgraded to 40-50m. This is above Mr Squirrel's usual threshold, so some persuasion was needed (fortunately he knows I've a penchant for launched coasters). To be fair to him, the queueline was a bit miserable. I'm assuming the ride is called Helix not because of any ride elements (it doesn't have one) but because of the convoluted, DNA-shaped queue layout that gives you absolutely no sense of where you are. I've heard others describe it as the NCP car park ride, which isn't ungenerous. On the other hand, the IMAScore soundtrack is banging.

As I said, I do like my launched coasters, but I'm an Intamin girl at heart - the other Mack launched coasters I've done have lacked a bit of oomph for me - blue fire is great fun but really dies in the latter half (except, inexplicably, on its winter wheels), and Icon is, well, Icon. I was hoping for better from Helix and it didn't disappoint. It's got a brilliant layout as it loops, twists and turns in and out of the trees, following the contours of the hillside, with a couple of great headchopper elements and lots of interactions with the much older Lisebergbanen; it's also got one of the longest layouts of any launched coaster I've done. While the launches aren't as forceful as their Intamin equivalents I thought they were still pretty fun and the inside top hat following the second launch is a particular highlight. Frankly as well, it was such a huge relief to have got a ride on it, as I'd been preparing myself to be spited as I so nearly was by BGCE in the spring. Definitely a 5/5 coaster, if not quite approaching the heights of BGCE and Toutatis.

We took a coffee break at this point in the ice cream shop opposite AtmosFear (which was SNBO, oh no! Anyway...) It's worth coming here for the big panel windows and the fantastic views of Helix as it whizzes around the building. It was also probably the nicest coffee we had all weekend (which wasn't saying much as it seems Sweden isn't that great for coffee - most offerings being on a par with something you'd get out of a machine at Ikea.)



After finishing our PÅTÅR, and now I'd got three of the major coasters nicely ticked off, we wandered around a bit exploring the park. Given that it's a city park, Liseberg really is extraordinarily pretty and well-kept. We did some gentler rides, including the Rapids and AeroSpin, which is something between a sky fly and a star flyer (I confess I didn't try too hard to flip my plane, rather using the height afforded to enjoy a scenic view of the park). We also managed to nab a couple more VQ slots - a reride on Helix and Lisebergbanan, which is worth getting a VQ slot for if you can as it gets quite long queues.



Now Lisebergbanan, affectionately known to some as Lisebergbanana, is a silly ride. The station is lovely, decked out like a genuine railway station, and as the cute little black and red train pulls in along the platform it all looks rather charming. Then you see how boxy the carriages are and the seats designed for square people and realise you have been fooled. The little train climbs up the lift hill, sounding like a 1970s sewing machine your mum/grandma has miraculously kept alive all these years. Then it picks up speed and you find out that little Lisebergbanana is not a Good Little Engine at all as it hurtles along its terrain layout at god knows what kph shaking all of your bones out of their sockets. It's janky and rough and brakes far too sharply, and it's one of the most fun coasters I've ever done - I found myself laughing the whole way around at just how bad and brilliant it is all at the same time. I guess my nearest point of comparison is EuroMir - it should be terrible, but somehow it's just great. Mr Squirrel and I had a chuckle when we realised that Lisebergbanan is actually a contemporary of ours - a fellow child of '87. A fine vintage.

Speaking of vintages, it was now lunchtime. As my usual park days tend to involve Aramark-quality chicken and chips, and we were in Sweden, I felt like something a bit more authentic, so we headed to the truly excellent fish restaurant, Hamnkrogen. OK, so if you don't like fish, this place probably isn't for you, but if you do, you can expect quality fresh ingredients nicely cooked. Mr Squirrel ordered the salmon, while I went for the slightly more adventurous seafood soup, served with a complimentary gluten-free bread basket (take that Aramark). It wasn't the cheapest, but then neither was anywhere else in Gothenburg. It was very pleasant sitting in the afternoon sun sipping crisp white wine, so much so that I almost forgot we were in an amusement park - but there was still plenty to tick off so off we headed.



We were struggling to get VQ slots by this point, so we did Slänggungan (a waveswinger) as it had a short queue. These are always fun but I don't tend to do them if time is limited as they're basically all the same. (I definitely didn't wrestle a kid to the ground for the final outside seat.) We had a reride on Balder which we queued far too long for in an awful, tortuous cattle pen queue (who designed a wooden coaster with no integrated queue line?? Oh yes, Intamin.) We finally managed to get on the log flume with a VQ slot, which I was keen to do as it's due to be demolished very shortly. This seems a shame as it's rather charming, climbing up the contours of the hillside to generate height and snaking all around the newest area, Luna Park. But I guess all good things must come to an end. Its swansong was to get me utterly soaked - I really must stop going on water rides in heavy denim jeans. We also finally managed to get on Luna, the park's newest coaster - a thoroughly forgettable Vekoma Family Boomerang which basically does nothing, and then does nothing again backwards. I think my words on exiting were 'well that was a plus one'. Still it's pretty and seems popular with kids - I noticed two young girls running straight back to the entrance for a reride.

It was time for me to face my nemesis - Uppswinget, or 'Rush but not s**t'. Now I can do Rush, but that's because it's a bit s**t and doesn't really do a proper cycle any more. It's also rather daunting that Uppswinget is situated on the hillside so you're already pretty high up to start with. Spoiler alert: I survived. But I might have had my eyes screwed shut for a lot of it.

We then stopped for another PÅTÅR (this one was terrible), awaiting nightfall and our two VQ slots for Lisebergbanan and Valkyria, which had ended up being 5 minutes apart. Turns out it is possible to leg it from one to the other in five minutes flat, but I don't recommend it. It was great to do these two coasters at night - Valkyria especially as the park looks spectacular all lit up after dark. Mr Squirrel then went off to do Mechanica by himself; I decided to sit this one out as it looked a bit too much like Samurai which made me pretty ill on my last visit to Thorpe. Fortunately I was able to use the time to nab two VQ slots for a night ride on Balder. It was a lot more fun without the 1h+ queue, and is very atmospheric at night, being bedecked with hundreds of little glowing lamps all along the sides of the track.



Our final ride of the day would be a night ride on Helix - that is, until we had sat down for our ride, pulled our restraints down and then noticed a lot of stressed staff members running in and out of the op cabin looking worried. Oh dear. Unsurprisingly, the train did not dispatch - instead the restraints unlocked and an announcement in Swedish made it clear that we were to GTFO immediately. A kind staff member explained to us in English that the previous train had got stuck out on the track and would have to be evacuated. Clearly still having issues then. Quality Mackprodukt. I guess if we'd joined the queue a minute earlier that could have been us - though I couldn't help thinking that might have given us a better story to tell. By this point we had five minutes before park close and sadly the queue for Loke (and almost everything else) had shut, but inexplicably the queue for the rapids was still open. This was a very surreal last ride - I don't think I've ever done a rapids ride in pitch darkness before, and I think ours was the only boat left on the course. We shared it with a random Swedish family. It was unclear why they'd picked this as their last ride - maybe they'd been spited by Helix as well?

So all in all, a pretty successful day given how busy it was, helped considerably by strategic use of VQ slots. But there were quite a few smaller rides I didn't get time for, such as Underlandet and Jukebox, a Polyp ride which I walked past several times but never had an acceptable queue, and the two family coasters (though I've a feeling Stampbanan may be below my shame threshold). I also still have unfinished business with Helix and that damned night ride.

 

[Rob]

Fortunately with two people in our party we were able to queue for two rides at the same time - I'm undecided whether this is cheating the system or not; perhaps with a larger group of 4+ it would feel more like taking the mickey.

I can confirm that with a group of 4 using it, all knowing exactly what they are doing, over 2 days does very much feel like taking the mickey. And it's great!

Really enjoyable trip report though. I'm not fan of seafood, so wouldn't eat there, but the food you had really looked excellent!

 

[John]

Yep, VQ at Liseberg is totally broken and feels like a cheat code as a group of 4, especially when the park is slightly quieter and availablity is better.

Shame Helix wasn't behaving but sounds like a good day despite the queues - easily one of my favourites in Europe, glad you enjoyed